Mercury retrograde and koi:
1. You just bought a box of instant noodles, none of which have seasoning packets.
2. The Fuliji you regard as a goddess is actually a man.
3. The little loli you adopted in the game is a two-hundred-pound otaku.
4. Don't play Doudizhu tonight, you will lose all your Happy Beans.
As soon as the four water retrogrades came out, the meager comment area of Yunzheng Koi Trumpet, which was originally noisy, fell silent for several seconds. Even Royalty himself, who had been jumping up and down asking Yun Zheng to release the water retrograde, didn't react.
"Hahahahahaha, the poisonous carp is angry! Four waters are retrograde in one breath, and they say that benevolence should be benevolent. I smell the smoke of gunpowder."
"But it's too miserable to buy instant noodles without a seasoning packet. There is no whole box. What are the chances of this?!"
"Fuliji is also very miserable. I suddenly want to know what kind of Miss Fuliji on the homepage of the main page is like? She can't really be a big boss in women's clothing!"
"There's also Happy Bean lost, loli turned into a fat otaku, it's all scary! Hahahaha, just thinking about it makes me tremble with fright."
For a while, Yunzheng Koi's Weibo was plunged into a sea of joy, with "hahaha, I'm afraid you're going to laugh me to death" everywhere. Even the royalty side was blocked for a long time and couldn't speak, even if they wanted to complain, they didn't know where to start.
In fact, it’s really no wonder everyone laughed so hard. Unlike Wang Ge’s previous scary Mercury Retrogrades, the four Mercury Retrogrades sent by Yun Zheng this time are quite a bit of a joke. To say it's serious, it's really not serious, it's all small and innocuous details.
But if it's not serious, it's really bad. No matter who it fell on, I couldn't help but groan, "What the hell is going on!"
So, after Yun Zheng sent out these four meaningful Mercury retrogrades, the tense atmosphere under the koi trumpet finally dissipated a lot. But even so, the suspicion raised by everyone before has not completely dissipated. In fact, many people are very curious about whether what Yunzheng Koi trumpet said this time will count.
"You should be more careful recently, that poisonous carp is really evil." After all, there was such a big commotion, and the royal friends were also very worried about him.
In the group, many people have called on royalty, telling him to accept it as soon as he sees it, and not to be too rambunctious recently.
"To tell you the truth, you don't need to be so serious with him. Look at how passive you are now? Even if he talks nonsense, it's still very irritating!"
"Isn't that right, hug royalty, now people say that if you are cursed by a poisonous carp, you will probably be unlucky for a long time."
"..." royalty looked at the group speechlessly, feeling his face turn green. In fact, he was more angry than anyone else, if Yun Zheng sent him some bloody disaster, he would definitely blow up, but because of these, there was no reason to blow up. And now, it made him suspicious, always feeling as if something really happened.
It's annoying! These are hindsight.
Closed the group angrily, and the royalty opened the penguin game.
Why worry? There are only two landlords.
"Tick, tick, tick, tick..."
As the familiar opening music sounded, royalty's unhappy mood gradually calmed down. He glanced at his friend list and found that no one was there. So, he randomly clicked into a room, and after preparing, he quietly waited for the game to start.
Coincidentally, royalty was quite lucky today, and the table he entered immediately seemed to be played with two novices. One of them can't even do the most basic land grabbing. As for the other one, it doesn't work after reading two.
"Pfft, then what koi account is really fake, why would you lose all Happy Beans? It's about making a lot of money!" Royalty couldn't help but took screenshots of his two battles in the group of friends, and he was very proud Said: "Did you see that! Brother is just that strong!"
However, the tragedy is that before he finished his sentence, he was lost in the routine.
Royalty is a farmer, and it stands to reason that he is going to beat the landlord with another farmer. But he never expected that after he used three K's and one seven to kill the landlord's three ten's and one six's, his teammate unexpectedly took away his card rights with three two's and an a'.
"Fuck! What kind of operation is this? I still have one card left!!!" Royalty was stunned. But later on, when his teammates rushed out a 5 like a drizzle, Royal's mood became more complicated.
In the end, it was a good game and just lost.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm not very good at playing." The teammate seemed to realize his mistake and kept apologizing.
They all said that they would not hit smiling people, and royalty had nothing to say, so they had no choice but to admit that they were unlucky, and started the next game.
It can only be said that the next time is the performance time of the actors.
In the next two hours, royalty saw the cooperative postures of various pig teammates, and also got what it means to pretend to be a pig and eat a tiger.
Damn it, the one who can't play always apologizes with a great attitude, and then continues to make a fortune. But it's just too strange that he is such a genius, and he doesn't work at the right time. Every time he activates it when he is rushing to be with the royalty, he will lose countless times.
As for the other one who didn't seem to play very well, it was even more cheating. After observing for this period of time, Royalty can be sure that this person must be a master of Landlord Fighting. And royalty always feels that every time a card is in his hand, the other person can easily guess what card is in his hand just like following a perspective searchlight.
After going back and forth, except for a few times when the cards were really good and they were directly crushed by the open cards, royalty lost all of them without any surprise. However, the more you can't win, the more unwilling you are, the more unwilling you are, the more you have to continue fighting. Two hours passed in a blink of an eye, and he finally reacted when he was kicked out of the room after receiving a notification from the system that there were not enough Happy Beans. The self-proclaimed master of Landlords, actually lost all the Happy Beans in a few hours
"Damn it... that water is retrograde!!" Thinking of what Yunzheng Koi trumpet said, Royal suddenly felt a chill down his back. Immediately afterwards, the cursing from the loudspeaker floating on the top of the game hall made his feeling even more illusory.
"xxxx and xxxx, two big liars who scam Happy Beans online!!#@#￥￥@#%￥" This dude who scolded the street must have been so angry that he used more than 30 speakers in a row. Moreover, the cursing words were not screened carefully, and all of them were blocked because of Harmony. But even so, this feeling of being so angry can still be conveyed perfectly. Therefore, many people below advised him.
"Hey, it's a game, don't get angry, it's not worth it."
Originally, royalty also wanted to persuade him, but before he could send out the words, he suddenly realized that the names xxxx and xxxx seemed familiar. Looking back at my own game records, I couldn't help but curse: "Fuck! The two I played with just now, aren't these two?"
It suddenly dawned on him that he had been tricked by someone. He said something was wrong, how could the other person be like a god, he could count the cards in his hand every time the game started. A deck of poker is played by three people, and he can see two people's cards, so he can naturally deduce what cards the royal has in his hand.
This shit even met someone who cheated while playing games, what a fucking dog!
Royalty was so angry that he didn't even care about Yunzheng giving him a water retrograde test before, so he recharged and bought two speakers and scolded the two of them.
"Royalty was cheated? Poisonous carp's Mercury Retrograde works?" In the group of friends, someone who happened to see Royalty playing the horn in the game hall couldn't help but asked, and was immediately choked by the furious Royalty. .
"What a ghost! It's all a coincidence!"
The state is not good today, and it is not easy to fight the landlord. Royalty depressedly quit the game hall, changed to another online game and planned to do today's daily routine.
Coincidentally, in the royalty game, my younger sister, who used to log off early in the past, was unexpectedly online today. As soon as royalty saw her, he couldn't help but start a voice chat with her about what happened just now.
"Ahhh! Really, just thinking about it makes me very angry." Royalty spoke quickly, chattering a lot in a short while.
However, there was no reply from the other side for a long time, and there was still the sound of electric current.
"Is there something wrong with the mic?" Royalty asked concerned, but before he finished speaking, the rough voice from the other side almost scared him to pee!
"Yeah brother, my sound card is broken. There is no way to use the voice changer."
Sound, card, broken, gone, no, yes, way, method, use, change, sound, device
Listening to the little girl with a sweet and cute voice speaking standard Northeast dialect, and calling him little brother with a smile, the hairs of royalty stand on end, and the language is turned off in an instant. The whole person is confused.
Again, it worked again. His younger sister in the game is actually a man! ! ! As for whether it is two hundred catties, a man is already scary, and his weight is just a cloud.
"Liar!" Royalty was completely in a daze. But the real world seems to be afraid that it won't hit him hard enough, and the explosion declaration on the meager homepage has once again refreshed the lower limit of his three views.
Mi Lijiang is a sweetie: I want to tell you something today, but Mi Li, I am a big boss in women's clothing. [Photo][Photo]
"..." My favorite Fuliji has actually become a Fuliji, and she announced her gender just today. Looking at the fair-skinned and beautiful young lady in the photo, after taking off the wig and removing the make-up, she turned into a delicate and handsome young man, and royalty didn't even bother to be surprised.
"Did you see!!! That Mi Li Jiang is really a man @royalty, how do you feel now?" The bad friends in the gay friend group joked one after another.
However, royalty didn't even have the strength to speak, and it took more than half an hour before he gradually recovered, and finally decided to eat a bowl of instant noodles to suppress his shock. However, what he never expected was that when he opened the whole box of instant noodles, he found that there was really no seasoning packet in any bag. After looking at the name, it turned out that I was deceived and bought a fake product. The promised master Kang turned into Kang Shuaifu.
Four Mercury retrogrades, one not less, all come true. It's downright creepy. Royalty has even begun to suspect that Yun Zheng has been so unlucky because he lowered his head on him. But his friends showed no mercy, except for "23333", only "hahahahaha".
This day has not been posted.
Being slapped in the face, being laughed at without any comfort, what kind of bad experience is this? Royalty logged into Weibo depressed, and first deleted the video of ghosts and animals that he made to mock Yunzheng, and then took the initiative to ask for peace with Aite Yunzheng's koi trumpet.
Royalty: @水重与锦鱼, convinced me, I beg God to send koi. [crying]
On the other side, Yun Zheng saw it very quickly this time.
After all, there was no deep hatred. When someone begged for mercy, Yun Zheng cooperated with turning over the chapter, and very calmly gave the royal a koi: Don't worry, everything will go well in the future.
royalty: Really
Mercury retrograde and koi: Really, those who love to laugh are lucky.
Quite a bit of a smile to put an end to grudges, the royalty's dislike for Yunzheng dissipated immediately, and happily forwarded the koi that Yunzheng sent, and offered a reward.
Yun Zheng glanced at the details in the backstage, and didn't continue talking, he just finished delivering the other koi, then changed the account and went to the tuba to have a look.
For Yunzheng, the matter of royalty is just a small episode. But for those who believe in metaphysics, it is the best evidence that indirectly verifies Yun Zheng's categorical statement.
The popularity of the koi trumpet rose sharply again, and when it got to the back, even Ling Xiang couldn't help turning around when he saw it, and paid attention by the way. Gradually, Yun Zheng discovered that his recently added objects of attention seemed to have changed as well. Among them, there are actually big v's with a meager certification. Looking at the introduction, they seem to be the type with small assets.
On this day, a rich second generation named Disciplinary Inspection Commission reposted the Weibo of holding a koi, and at the same time sent a private letter to Yun Zheng, wanting to ask for a koi.
Yun Zheng: All wishes come true.
"Thank you!" At first, the rich second generation thought that Yunzheng was just saying something auspicious, so he casually tipped him 20,000 yuan, and then he didn't reply. Looking at the 20,000 people, Yun Zheng felt that the style of the Disciplinary Inspection Committee's painting was very familiar, but he skipped over it without thinking too much.
But he didn't expect at all that this discipline inspection committee was not someone else, but Gu Yan's cousin Gu Yu.
There are three members of the same generation in the Gu family as Gu Yan, of which Gu Yan is the youngest, and the remaining three are cousins. And Gu Yu is the second child.
Speaking of it, the Gu family is really a bit blessed, they are naturally talented. As for Gu Yu, although he looked a little absurd, he naturally had a unique vision. Back then, he brought hundreds of thousands of dollars to start a business, and now he is well-known in the entertainment industry.
And the reason why he asked Yun Zheng for a koi was because he had nothing to do and just had fun.
Yanjing, Gu Yu looked at the reply from the koi account on the phone, and suddenly became in a good mood. He felt that the owner of the Xuanxue account could still speak, although there was only one person who could achieve what he wanted, but if this word was used well, it would make people feel comfortable.
"Is there something good about Mr. Gu?" The secretary couldn't help asking.
"Yeah." Gu Yu nodded, and shook the phone in front of the secretary's eyes: "It's just a good fortune."
"It's not bad. I've heard people say that this koi number is quite scary. Mr. Gu must have had a very lucky day today."
"I hope, but metaphysics is all about comfort." Gu Yu shrugged, put the phone aside, and continued to work.
But within five minutes, he was stunned by the successive calls. Even the smile on his face couldn't hold back.
Gu Yu himself couldn't imagine that after receiving the koi from Yun Zheng, the pillar of the next-door entertainment company that he had been wanting to sign for a long time, suddenly agreed to jump to his company, and even with money. Then, the old man at home who has been forcing marriage didn't mention it anymore, and told him not to feel pressured. Even the half-dead jellyfish in the office became more lively.
My God, it really comes true!
Gu Yu and the secretary looked at each other, and then immediately boarded Weibo, and gave Yun Zheng a reward of another 100,000.
Disciplinary Inspection Commission: Master, you are really amazing.
Gu Yu excitedly sent a private message to Yun Zheng, trying to reach a deeper relationship.
He has seen it before, so Yun Zheng can see the clues if he is a koi, and understand that Yun Zheng does have real materials.
Now in Huaguo's metaphysics circle, the most profound person, the divining fortune-teller and fate-telling person is present in person, and only when he knows the specific cause and effect can he deduce the conclusion. People like Yun Zheng, who can see the universe with just a meager message, are simply existences at the level of national treasures.
This kind of thigh must be hugged immediately. Gu Yu glanced at Weibo, and those other fans who left messages for Yunzheng felt that they were all weak and could not realize Yunzheng's true strength at all.
However, to his embarrassment, Gu Yu found that after he tried to hook up with Yun Zheng, Yun Zheng couldn't poke him alive.
Of course poking can't work, because Yunzheng is busy reviewing his homework, and the third model is about to arrive. Yunzheng is addicted to studying, so naturally he has been cold for a few days, except for going up every day to randomly pick a koi to send blessings, he hardly looks at it. He was meager, so naturally he couldn't see Gu Yu's private message in time.
However, Yun Zheng's negligence accidentally became the trigger for Gu Yu's actions.
Gu Yu is a typical Gu family, as soon as he sees something, he will immediately make a move and try his best to bring it back to the nest. From Gu Yu's point of view, it would be great if a powerful master of metaphysics like Yun Zheng could recruit the Gu family.
So, he asked someone to check Zha Yunzheng's location without affecting Yunzheng's life. In the end, it was unexpectedly discovered that Yun Zheng's IP was actually in Xingcheng, and moreover, it was at his cousin Gu Yan's house.
This is too much! Gu Yu suddenly felt that it was too much for Gu Yan to hide such a big master of metaphysics at home without sharing resources. As soon as my brain got hot, I called Gu Yan.
"Gu Yan, don't you think this is very rude? If you don't bring such a great master back to your home, what are you going to do in Xingcheng?"
"What master?" Gu Yan was puzzled by Gu Yu's nonsensical words.
"Pretend, you keep pretending! That Mercury retrograde and koi on Weibo, isn't he at your house now?"
"My home?" Since it was a landline, Gu Tang's voice came out clearly from the microphone. Now, everyone including Gu Yan was stunned.
But Gu Yu didn't realize their surprise at all, seeing that they hadn't spoken for a while, she added a few more words: "Don't fool me, I still have the investigation report on my desk! The ip is at your house. Really, no wonder you had someone protect this account before, and even the people in your own family were not allowed to check. It turns out that people are by your side... "
Gu Yu was still babbling endlessly on the other end, and Gu Yan's eyes also became dim.
Of course, Gu Yan knows about Mercury retrograde and koi on meager money. Yun Zheng had told him before that he was his friend. Therefore, Gu Yan never doubted it at all. But now that Gu Yu checked it out, he was told that the ip of the koi account was actually in his home, so the identity of the owner of the account could be said to be revealed.
It really should be dark under the light.
Right now, there are only four people in Gu Yan's family. After getting rid of him, the old housekeeper and Ling Xiang, only Yun Zheng is left.
"No... no..." Ling Xiang swallowed next to him, and subconsciously flipped through the koi number. But the more I looked, the more clues I found.
For example, this koi number only appears at a fixed time every day. This time is the period after Yunzheng leaves school, or the time before Yunzheng goes to sleep.
For another example, this koi number seems to have a special preference for Gu Yan. The first koi was given to Gu Yan.
In addition, there are more details, the mode of talking and doing things on this koi account, the kind of routine that people don’t offend me, I don’t offend them, and if they offend me, I will slap my face, just like Yunzheng Food Bozhu’s tuba, Almost identical.
He peeked at Gu Yan's expression, and then shivered in fright.
As for Gu Yu on the other side of the phone, he was also frightened by Gu Yan's cold swish "No more investigations in the future", and quickly hung up the phone.
"That brother Yan..." Ling Xiang felt his calves trembling.
Who doesn't know how much Gu Yan cares about Yun Zheng, as long as Yun Zheng says it, Gu Yan will not believe it. But not to mention that Yunzheng is hiding such a big vest now, it is clearly implying that he does not trust Gu Yan. If he were Gu Yan, he would definitely be pissed off.
But Ling Xiang still insists on loyalty, he regards Yun Zheng as a buddy, seeing that Gu Yan's expression is not right, he hastily opened his mouth cautiously, wanting to persuade him a few words. As a result, before he finished speaking, Gu Yan said "Shut up." Then, he turned and went upstairs.
I'm afraid it will be over!
Ling Xiang and the old housekeeper looked at each other, and they both vaguely smelled trouble.
—
In the evening, Yunzheng came back an hour and a half later than usual due to making up lessons at school. However, as soon as he entered the house, he felt that the atmosphere was not quite right. Especially when he found that Gu Yan, who usually sat in the living room waiting for him to come back, was unexpectedly absent this time, that subtle feeling became more and more serious.
Sure enough, as soon as he put down his schoolbag, Ling Xiang mysteriously dragged him into a corner. And whispered in a low voice: "Yunzheng, you're in big trouble, you lost your horse, do you know?"