With tears on her face, Lu Nanzhi stood up and looked at Jiang Yuebai and Youmeng who appeared on her shoulder in confusion.
"Xiaobai, how could you..."
Youmeng jumped off Jiang Yuebai's shoulder and rushed towards the little Lu Nanzhi in the dream.
Lu Nanzhi held Youmeng in her arms and watched Youmeng rubbing against her affectionately, patting her arms with her little paws, as if to comfort her.
Little Lu Nanzhi gradually turned back into her grown-up appearance. There were still traces of tears on her face, but her expression had returned to calm.
"You and Youmeng changed my dream. Why?"
Jiang Yuebai walked slowly to Lu Nanzhi and said, "Youmeng cannot stop you from falling into the dream because you are the master of Youmeng. You created this dream for yourself. All Youmeng can do is to risk getting hurt and disobey your orders so that the dream will not come to an end."
Youmeng whimpered twice, looking weak, and leaned in Lu Nanzhi's arms, indicating that it was seriously injured and needed comfort.
Lu Nanzhi was a little flustered. "I know these are all fake. I know what has happened cannot be changed. I just... I just want to wait until this dream is over..."
Jiang Yuebai sighed, "Anan, you are just trying to escape reality with a fluke mentality. Originally, I wanted to wait for you to experience the revenge of your father's murder again, and wait for you to be possessed by the devil again, and then I would appear with Youmeng, but..."
Jiang Yuebai frowned, and her eyes were full of heartache when she looked at Lu Nanzhi. She walked forward and hugged Lu Nanzhi tightly. She didn't know what to say, so she could only comfort her with a hug.
Jiang Yuebai suddenly understood why the Supreme Elder always gave Anan a lot of instructions when they went out traveling before, but just threw them away and told her to get out.
Obviously she is more naughty and Anan is more obedient.
In fact, the more well-behaved a child is, the more likely he or she is to have big problems. This is the case with Anan and Zhao Fuyi at the beginning.
If it weren't for this dream, she wouldn't have known that Anan had such a big secret.
Now that I think about it, how could the man who abandoned Anan since she was young and made Anan a tool for the marriage between the two clans, the man who controlled the future direction of the Lu family, be awakened by the father-daughter relationship and go to the Fang family to break off the engagement just because of Anan's pleading
But no matter how impure Anan's father's purpose was, for Anan, it was the family affection that she had longed for since she was a child, and it was the love that she could finally feel.
As children, unless we are heartbroken, we will always try to please our parents unconsciously.
The impact of childhood experiences on a person lasts a lifetime. This is true for Jiang Yuebai and Lu Nanzhi.
"You know everything?" Lu Nanzhi asked softly.
Jiang Yuebai let go of Lu Nanzhi and nodded with a heavy expression.
Lu Nanzhi covered her mouth and turned around, tears streaming down her cheeks. She didn't want Jiang Yuebai to see her so fragile and unbearable.
Seeing Lu Nanzhi suppressing her tears, Jiang Yuebai felt heartbroken.
"Anan, if you really want to change everything, I can help you, so that you can have a happy family from birth, and make everything just like your previous dreams. But are you sure that if you become like that, are you still Lu Nanzhi?"
Lu Nanzhi shrugged her shoulders and was speechless. She understood the truth, but knowing is easier said than done. It was too difficult!
"Anan, it's not shameful to cry. Do you still remember when Xie Jingshan pretended to have lost his memory in Cang Yan Land because of Shen Huaixi's betrayal? He never held back his sadness. He cried with snot all over his face while holding the wine jar like a fool."
"After crying and taking a nap, he turned into the happy silly dog Xie Jingshan again. I used to think that among the three of us, you were the most transparent, followed by me, and finally Xie Jingshan. But in fact, neither of us is as good as Xie Jingshan. He doesn't hide anything in his heart, doesn't suppress his emotions, and is sunny and happy every day, which can infect others."
"So cry, Anan, and after you're done crying, let yourself go, accept everything that has happened, end this dream, and move on, okay?"
Lu Nanzhi released the hand that was covering her mouth. "What's wrong with me? Why... do they all... not want me?"
"It's not that you're bad, it's that they don't deserve you. It's them who are wrong, never you."
Lu Nanzhi could no longer hold back her tears. Jiang Yuebai did not disturb her but stayed by her side silently, waiting for Lu Nanzhi to vent all the sorrow and pain that she had suppressed in her heart for many years.
After a while, Lu Nanzhi's crying subsided, and Jiang Yuebai felt that the evil spirit in her body also weakened a lot.
After that, as long as you don't enter this dream again and slowly relieve it, you will be able to get through this period smoothly.
"Let's go, let's leave here." Jiang Yuebai said.
Lu Nanzhi took a deep breath, turned around, her eyes as red as a rabbit, and shook her head.
"Not enough, not even here, Xiaobai, accompany me to somewhere else."
Lu Nanzhi stretched out his hand, Jiang Yuebai smiled and held Lu Nanzhi's hand.
The surrounding scenes receded like the tide, and soon formed a new scene: the Lu family mansion. The two stood in the courtyard and watched another young Lu Nanzhi walk out of the study in front.
Lu Nanzhi had a smile on her lips that Jiang Yuebai had never seen before, and there were still some tears in the corners of her eyes. She left with light steps.
Like a kid who finally got what he wanted.
"That was the night my father agreed to go to Fang's to cancel the engagement. I thought it was all because of the father-daughter relationship. I worked so hard for so long and finally got my father's approval, but in reality..."
Lu Nanzhi paused, took a breath and continued speaking.
The surrounding scene was shaking, indicating that Lu Nanzhi's mood was unstable.
Jiang Yuebai held Lu Nanzhi's hand, and Lu Nanzhi gradually calmed down.
"In fact, I knew about this the day after he agreed to cancel the engagement, but I was still deceiving myself and unwilling to accept that he really never cared about me. Then he died, and my mother beat me like crazy and blamed me. My brothers and sisters all blamed me."
"Revenge for my father's murder is just an excuse for me to hide my inner hatred. I cannot accept that I have been abandoned by everyone since I was born. I have gone crazy and just want to bury everyone, including the past Lu Nanzhi."
"By then, I had already been possessed by a demon! If you were not willing to believe in a despicable person like me, I might have..."
Lu Nanzhi did not tell Jiang Yuebai that she had already made up her mind to die at that time. It was Jiang Yuebai who pulled her out and gave her the courage to continue living.
"Anan, no one is perfect, not even God."
Lu Nanzhi took a deep breath and stopped hiding or making excuses. She forced herself to face it again and accepted the fact that she had never been loved by her family.
Her heart ached and her soul was gradually turning cold, but she felt the warmth from Jiang Yuebai's palm seeping into her body bit by bit.
Yes, she still has Xiaobai, Jingshan, Shen Huaixi and other friends, as well as teachers who care about her, and the demons who are counting on her.
She can't give up on herself. Right or wrong, it's all in the past.
There are no insurmountable obstacles in life, only yourself.
Pulling his hand away from Jiang Yuebai's palm, Lu Nanzhi turned around and walked towards somewhere deep in the courtyard. The scenery along the road changed rapidly and time went backwards.
Lu Nanzhi walked to the outside of the rockery in the abandoned garden and found herself hiding inside crying alone, the young and helpless self who gradually closed his heart as a child.
"Lu Nanzhi."
The little girl sobbed and turned to look outside.
"Who are you?"
Lu Nanzhi walked over and held the little self in his arms.
"Lu Nanzhi, I don't blame you. You've done well enough. If you want to cry, just cry. Don't hide anymore, okay? This world is big, and Lu's is not everything."
"Don't change your heart because of anything. Be braver with every setback. You don't have to win, but you have to be the Lu Nanzhi who can never be defeated, okay?"
Lu Nanzhi and the little girl in front of her looked into each other's eyes. Both of them had tears in their eyes, and the corners of their lips were slightly raised.
"good!"
The dream gradually turned into bubbles, and the little girl who cried alone in her childhood finally got the hug and comfort she had longed for.
We may not be loved by others, but we must love ourselves.
With the breeze blowing on her face and tears on her face, Lu Nanzhi stood on the top of the mountain, bathing in the morning light. She felt more relaxed than ever before.
"… They're still arguing over there. I don't know when it will end. Anan, how about we call Xie Jingshan and go fishing in the river together? I haven't eaten Xie Jingshan's grilled fish in a long time."
Jiang Yuebai's eyes were bright and she was smiling. Lu Nanzhi wiped away the tears from her face and smiled just as warmly.
"Xiaobai, there is one more thing I have hidden from you. After the Lu family was destroyed, the people who escaped with the Lu family heritage were also killed by me later."
Jiang Yuebai was not surprised. Cutting the grass at its roots was Lu Nanzhi's style. The right and wrong of this matter could only be judged by Lu Nanzhi himself.
"Xiaobai, I want to rebuild Lu's."
"Ah? Who are you planning to have a baby with?" Jiang Yuebai was shocked.
Lu Nanzhi suddenly laughed out loud, "You are really thinking too far ahead. I plan to adopt an orphan that no one wants in the mortal world to make up for my past sins. I don't know if the heaven will accept it."
"Yes, yes, yes, it's so possible. Our Heavenly Dao is the most magnanimous and considerate!"
"How do you know?"
"I just know it!"
"Okay, let's go fishing."
"Um!"
See you tomorrow~
(End of this chapter)