Zhou Ziheng never thought that Xia Xiqing would come.
Despite Xu Qichen’s many lobbying efforts, Zhou Ziheng didn’t think that Xia Xi’s Qingzhen would expose his scars for the so-called “liberation”. It's much easier than putting aside the past and loving yourself.
Zhou Ziheng didn't sleep all night in the early morning. He actually regretted saying that at the moment, but it was more sad than the impulsive words that were out of control. Xia Xiqing probably didn't mind at all.
Don't mind who he works with, or if he really suits his appetite.
So when Xia Xiqing really appeared, Zhou Ziheng's heartbeat was beaten up.
Xia Xiqing walked towards him, lifted his hands and took off the hair loops behind his head, and his hair was scattered beside his cheeks. His eyes looked at Zhou Ziheng, but when he really walked in front of him, he turned his face again and put the script in the hands of Xu Qichen, who was sitting aside, without looking at him.
Standing next to Zhou Ziheng, Xu Zixi saw Xia Xiqing's inexplicable nervousness. He bowed slightly and stretched out his hand towards him, "Hello, this is Xu Zixi."
With a very gentle smile on Xia Xiqing's face, she shook Xu Zixi's hand back, "Xia Xiqing." His voice was soft as a cloud in the sky, "You did a great job just now."
Can't catch the cloud.
"thanks, thanks."
He smiled and retracted his hand, without looking at Zhou Ziheng from start to finish.
"Then Xi Qing will try again?" Director Kun said, his tone was encouraging, "Don't be nervous, let's see how it feels."
Everyone knows that Xia Xiqing is not a professional performer. He can't even associate the word with an actor, so the expectation value is naturally not high. Even Kuncheng, who thinks he fits the role of Jiang Tong, knows that image quality is one thing, acting is another.
Xia Xiqing didn't make any preparations. He walked up to the machine, smiling a lot, and introduced himself in a simple and clear manner, "Hello everyone, this is Xia Xiqing."
After the introduction, he walked out the door step by step, took a deep breath, and closed the door.
Looking at the closed door, Xia Xiqing's heart began to panic. He didn't know why he came. Is it really necessary for him to remember the pain for his ridiculous self-esteem
Memories are terrible things. They can erode Xia Xiqing's senses almost instantly. As long as he doesn't avoid them, they will appear openly and unscrupulously. Xia Xiqing felt that her eyes were starting to lose focus, and the door in front of her seemed to have changed shape and color.
It became the dark blue door of his bedroom when he was a child. He tried to touch the doorknob with his fingertips. It seemed that a hole was broken deep in his heart, and a black viscous liquid was leaking from the inside out, little by little. The dots gush out, wrapping the heart firmly, oppressing every heartbeat.
Breathing becomes difficult. Xia Xiqing retracted his hand and tried hard to convince himself.
He was not the one locked in the room this time.
He is going to save the child in the room.
The crisp kicking sound from the hotel room was like a strong cue to start hypnosis. Xia Xiqing's hands began to shake uncontrollably, and the past that he did not dare to recall were all overturned, as the black blood gurgled out of his heart.
[It would be nice if you were not born, if I hadn't given birth to you, my life wouldn't be like this! ]
[Why did I give birth to a son like you? Are you as crazy as your mother? Why don't you die! ]
Xia Xiqing raised his hand and knocked on the door twice like a walking dead. The hand paused in the air and knocked twice.
It would be great if someone came to rescue him.
His hands began to tremble. In order to continue, Xia Xiqing used his left hand to press on the right wrist, and knocked hard on the door of the room, heavier, faster and faster.
Until the door was suddenly opened, Xia Xiqing took a breath for an instant, and the breath was lifted to his chest, his lips opened slightly, and the breath was slowly passed out.
He felt a little shaking all over his body.
He didn't watch the acting actor, his eyes dodged and walked quickly to the little girl's side, grabbed her, and held her in his arms. The actor seemed to think that Xia Xiqing was an amateur actor and wanted to help him get better, so he also specially cooperated with him in acting. He came up and suddenly pulled Xia Xiqing's arm, "You're fucking sick!"
Xia Xiqing didn't turn his head, and pulled out his arms to pick up the silly little actor and walked out the door without saying a word. The actor who acted in the play was taken aback for a moment. This was completely different from the acting in the last audition, but he quickly reacted and took two quick steps to grab Xia Xiqing's arm and said, "What are you doing! Put her down for me!"
Being dragged by him like this, Xia Xiqing staggered, stepped back a few steps, stretched out his hand to protect the girl's head, and walked out without saying a word.
His legs were a little soft, trembling slightly, his teeth were tightly bitten, and he pulled with the girl's "father" for a long time. I don't know if the hands holding the little girl are a little sore, everyone found his arms trembling.
The girl "father" cursed a few words, and he picked up a chair next to him and was about to smash it up. Before Xia Xiqing had time to hide, he hugged the little girl and squatted down.
Zhou Ziheng suffered a cardiac arrest and rushed forward without even thinking about it. Originally, the actor hit him after a long distance. He borrowed a position, but Zhou Ziheng was too anxious and didn't have a good sense of measure. When he rushed forward, Standing too close, his arm was hit by the chair leg. He twisted his brows tightly at once, not lightly.
He was afraid that the opposing actor would be playing because of his injury. He reacted very quickly and pushed him away, reaching out to pull Xia Xiqing. The first time he did not pull, he was only pulled up from the ground in the second time.
Xia Xiqing, who was pulled up, just hugged the little girl with her head down, walked two steps, and put her down.
When Xia Xiqing was scolded by the "father" just now, Xia Xiqing was taken back in almost a second. He felt a burning pain on his body, like the pain from a golf club hitting it. The hysterical quarrels of his parents kept appearing in his mind. He was locked in the room and cried and slapped the door, and his palm was swollen.
No one saved him. No one came to rescue him.
Xia Xiqing's gaze fell on the little girl, her eyelashes trembled and her eyes were a little loose. He squatted down, pulled the hem of the girl's wrinkled clothes with his hands, and smoothed it, then stretched out his hand to gently pull her scattered hair behind his ears, and gently touched the girl's face.
He tried to squeeze a smile, and the moment the corners of his mouth were torn apart, his teeth unconsciously bit the inside of his lips. He took a deep breath and opened his mouth as if to say something, but after all he did not speak, but took the little girl's hand and wrote two words stroke by stroke on her palm with his index finger. .
Not only to this child, but also to myself back then.
There are not many strokes, but Xia Xiqing writes very slowly, his fingers tremble so much that he pauses for a long time every stroke, and every stroke is extremely difficult.
[Don't be afraid. ]
When the last stroke fell, he slowly closed the small palm into a small fist, put it in the pocket of the little girl's red coat, and patted the bulging pocket lightly.
Lifting his eyes to look at her, his brows suddenly frowned.
The little girl's face became the little helpless herself back then.
The little one was wounded all over, and his shiny black pupils were filled with confusion and despair.
The whole body began to tremble, and Xia Xiqing did not dare to look. He lowered his eyes slightly, and suddenly became extremely timid, his shoulders trembling uncontrollably, and even the little actor was scared and afraid to speak.
Zhou Ziheng, who was standing on the side, finally couldn't stand it, his patience had reached its limit. No longer caring about the script, Zhou Ziheng squatted down and held Xia Xiqing's shoulder with his hand.
It was so quiet here, but Xia Xiqing was able to hear the heart-piercing cry of the young boy, his voice deafening.
Begging for mercy, crying for help, weeping, silence. Little by little effort to kill.
[Is there anyone outside... can you open the door for me...]
[It's so dark... I'm scared. ]
have not seen you for a long time.
It turns out that you were so scared.
Xia Xiqing raised his eyes, his eyelashes trembling lightly, he tried to look directly at the little girl's face, biting his back teeth, and extending his hands to hug her. That little body was so soft and fragile that Xia Xiqing didn't dare to use force, but his arm was shaking so much that he couldn't control it. He was afraid that he would hurt her, and he was afraid that he didn't bring her courage.
Afraid she is still scared.
Finally, a teardrop that could no longer be hidden slipped from his clear pupils, and Xia Xiqing closed his eyes.
Don't be afraid.
Maybe... These are all past.
"Cut!"
This kicking let all those who hung a sigh of relief found an opportunity for release. The performance just now was completely different from the previous auditioner. There was no skillful lines, no explosive crying scenes, but everyone's emotions were mobilized, with a heart hanging, and it was extremely uncomfortable.
Xia Xiqing opened his eyes and took a few deep breaths before letting go of the little girl. The little girl stretched out a soft hand and wiped his face, her voice was tender and innocent.
"Brother doesn't cry."
Xia Xiqing laughed.
"My brother is acting, he's not really crying." He stretched out his hand and squeezed the little actor's face especially lightly. "I'm not sad at all, are you sad?"
"a little bit."
Xia Xiqing smiled and hugged the cute little actor, repeating her words gently, "A little bit..."
The smile on his face was extremely fragile in Zhou Ziheng's eyes, like the brilliance reflected by the crystal a second before the fall.
Xia Xiqing let out a long sigh of relief, turned half of his body and grabbed Zhou Ziheng's arm. When he happened to hit the place where he was hit by the chair leg just now, Zhou Ziheng hissed in pain.
"What about your professionalism?" Xia Xiqing's voice was cold, and Zhou Ziheng couldn't figure out his current mood.
He just wants to hug him, especially if he gives a chance.
Xia Xiqing let go and grabbed his hand and stood up, and smiled at Director Kun. The surprise on Director Kun's face had not faded, he also stood up and walked to Xia Xiqing's side.
"Your performance just now is completely at the level of a professional actor." He smiled incredulously, "Have you really never learned acting?"
"No. This role is a bit like me, so let's play it in my true colors." Xia Xiqing was too emotional and couldn't completely take it back. He tugged at the corner of his mouth, trying his best to maintain a decent smile, "Director, let me go with you. Go to the bathroom."
Kuncheng nodded and watched Xia Xiqing leave the hotel room. He turned and sat back on his chair. The producer beside him said, "You also think Xia Xiqing performed better? The last tear he just had was really too much. It's amazing. Give it a close-up, it must be particularly shocking on the big screen. He doesn't need to cry and scream, it grabs the audience's heart at once."
The producer seemed to have picked up a treasure, analyzing his skills with great enthusiasm, how he controlled the timing of the tears, how to control the tremor, and what angles the face fits, the more excited he was.
Kuncheng shook his head slowly until he finished the last sentence.
"He is not acting at all."
Kuncheng discovered that Xia Xiqing didn't look at the actor who played "father" the whole time. It was a subconscious avoidance out of fear. He was so scared that he didn't dare to watch and didn't dare to resist. In fact, a person suffering from depression will not cry out loud, and Xia Xiqing may understand that feeling better.
The most frightening thing was that he didn't dare to see the little actor he had been protecting.
This wonderful "performance" was really sublimated at the last moment when I looked directly at the little actor.
None of these can be performed.
Xu Qichen held the script tightly, and never said a word. Zhou Ziheng was right, he was indeed too cruel. When he didn't see Xia Xiqing really cut himself apart, he always stood in the perspective of a bystander, Qing, and coerced him to recall those terrible pasts out of the original intention of helping.
He couldn't help feeling regretful and began to doubt himself.
He didn't know whether he was helping him or hurting him.
Xia Xi cleaned his face and put his hands on the sink. He tried his best to get out of his emotions, but it was not easy.
"How are you?"
It's the voice of the newcomer.
Xia Xiqing changed his smile instantly, straightened up and pulled two pieces of paper to wipe his hands, "It's good." He crumpled the paper into a ball and threw it into the wastebasket, his eyes falling on Xu Zixi's delicate face.
"I..." Xu Zixi's expression was a little hesitant, "I want to know why you acted like this? I mean, how did you conceive it? Because after I got the script, the feeling is that he should especially want to protect that little one. Girl, and he feels sad..."
Although he was very unclear about his expression, Xia Xiqing fully understood what he meant, and he took a step closer.
"You are actually doing very well like that." Xia Xiqing patted Xu Zixi's shoulder, then dropped his hand and inserted it into his pocket.
"He does want to protect that little girl, but he is more afraid. More afraid than that child."
Xu Zixi's eyes were full of doubts. Xia Xiqing just smiled bitterly, his voice slowly sinking like a stone thrown into the middle of the lake.
"It's a good thing not to understand. Your childhood must have been very happy."
Just as Xia Xiqing wanted to leave, there was another person at the door of the bathroom, and his chest was tightened again for an instant.
I don't know why, he can laugh at anyone at this moment, only Zhou Ziheng. As long as he saw Zhou Ziheng's face, he wanted to tear himself apart and show him his ugliest and most abominable side.
There is no reason for self-defeating.
"Zixi, I want to talk to him alone." Zhou Ziheng walked in with a very polite tone, "If it's convenient for you..."
Xu Zixi immediately responded when Zhou Ziheng responded, and was about to go out, "Well, you said, Brother Xi Qing, thank you, I'm leaving now."
Xia Xiqing didn't say a word, he leaned against the sink with his eyes down. Zhou Ziheng did not speak, grabbed his arm and led him to the innermost compartment of the bathroom, and closed the door.
The tight space compressed her emotions as hard as she could, and Xia Xiqing felt that her temples were jumping. He didn't know what was wrong with him. When he thought of Zhou Ziheng calling the newcomer "Zixi" just now, calling himself the word "him", he felt annoyed for no reason.
The annoying posture is too inelegant.
Xia Xiqing licked the corner of her mouth, pretending to look at Zhou Ziheng lightly, his tone was full of mockery, "Am I not a name?"
Zhou Ziheng was stunned for a while before he reacted. He tried to explain, "I think it is too serious to call his full name, and it will make him misunderstand that I am pressured by seniors."
"So what?" Xia Xiqing looked into his eyes, reluctantly, every word, "I don't have a name?"
Watching him like this, Zhou Ziheng's heart was empty. He wanted to call him Xi Qing, or even a more intimate name, but he didn't have a suitable position.
"You pulled me in and didn't speak." Xia Xiqing's arms crossed her chest, and the tail of her eyes raised frivolously. "Could it be that you want to do it now?" He doesn't know who he is saying these harsh words to, he I can't control myself at all.
If you lose control of your emotions, you can't get rid of it, so use another emotion to cover it up.
Xia Xiqing raised her chin, and her neck stretched out with a fragile beauty.
"Do you think I just acted well?" There was still water on his cheeks, "Do I look good when I cry? Does it make you protective?"
A series of tortures brutally beat Zhou Ziheng's heart.
Seeing Zhou Ziheng's brows frowning and tightening, his fists clenched and the skulls turning white, Xia Xiqing had an inexplicable sense of accomplishment, and it seemed that irritating Zhou Ziheng could bring him great pleasure.
He sneered, and a few strands of wet hair stuck to his cheeks, "Do you have pity on me? Have pity on me, so you want to do it with me?"
"Otherwise, let's kiss first?" Xia Xiqing leaned close to him, and the bitten lips glowed with gorgeous color.
Zhou Ziheng finally couldn't help it, and pushed him against the wall severely.
The stone thrown into the center of the lake is finally about to fall, falling to the quiet and cold bottom of the lake. Xia Xiqing lowered his eyes, but Zhou Ziheng hugged him tightly.
He frowned in surprise, trying to push Zhou Ziheng away, but he held him tighter.
"I'm very angry now," Zhou Ziheng's voice was a little trembling, obviously holding back his emotions, "but I'll be relieved in a while."
Xia Xiqing was stunned, his voice faint.
"Are you angry... Why do you still hold me?"
"Otherwise you will run away, and I will regret it after I calm down, I don't want to regret it." Zhou Ziheng's arm hoop was tighter.
There was a moment of silence, only the heartbeat of each other could be heard in the silence. Zhou Ziheng's hand loosened slightly, and he took a deep breath, "I'm out of breath now." That hand moved up slowly, rubbing Xia Xiqing's head, his palms were too warm to say anything.
It takes courage and patience to embrace a rose.
I know that those thorns will stick into the skin and into the blood. It doesn't matter. Give me one minute and I will pull them out. The pain will go away soon.
But I still want to embrace that rose.
Zhou Ziheng finally said what he wanted to say to him from the beginning, and kissed his hair tenderly.
"Don't be afraid, Xi Qing."
"I am here."