"Yes, I don't deserve it." Zhou Ziheng lowered his head and took a half step back.
"As an actor, I can't even act properly in front of you. I said I wanted you to do it for me... but I can't even do an intimate gesture. My level is really not worthy of playing with you."
He had no emotional experience, and was completely a blank slate. When he met an opponent like Xia Xiqing, he could only be manipulated by him. But to be honest, even if he was manipulated, he had no complaints, he was happy.
Zhou Ziheng clenched his fists, then unclenched them. "Actually, I never thought of playing any tricks on you. I just really want to know..."
I really want to know what position I hold in your heart. I really want to know if there is a slight possibility that you will fall in love with me.
I really want to know... Have you discovered that I like you a long time ago and have been thinking about when to get rid of me
“… I’m sorry.” Zhou Ziheng wiped his face, “I’m sorry, I was wrong today. I shouldn’t have refused Song Nian. To be honest, doing this is really torturing myself.” He took a deep breath, and the angry expression on his face disappeared without a trace. He smiled, “You are free, you can do whatever you want.”
It's just my damn possessiveness that's tormenting me, it's not your fault.
His heart used to be a lush forest.
After falling in love with Xia Xiqing, the forest caught fire, with raging flames and billowing smoke. Even the most powerful fire brigade was helpless in the face of such a fire and could only watch the flames spread until it was reduced to ashes.
He thought he could stop in time, but found that there was no turning back.
Looking at the smile on Zhou Ziheng's face, Xia Xiqing's heart suddenly ached. He actually didn't want to see Zhou Ziheng like this. He didn't even understand why he said such harsh words to provoke him. He seemed like a different person.
If it was any other lover who deliberately put on a show in front of him, Xia Xiqing would at most walk away and end the relationship without saying a word. He also knew that Zhou Ziheng had not done anything substantial and had not even touched Song Nian.
He was just testing.
When he found out that Zhou Ziheng was testing him, he felt more fear than anger in his heart.
The fear of being seen triggered a self-protection mechanism, forcing him to overreact.
Xia Xiqing tried to speak, but it was extremely difficult, "I..."
After waiting for a long time, Zhou Ziheng still didn't hear Xia Xiqing's words. His heart just rose high and fell heavily with his every move.
"It's okay if you don't want to forgive me now." Zhou Ziheng didn't even dare to touch Xia Xiqing. At first, he was acting, but now he was out of guilt and afraid that Xia Xiqing would resist more fiercely. "I'm sorry, don't be angry. I just felt that you were a little..."
uncomfortable.
Before he uttered these three words, Xia Xiqing, who was leaning against the dryer, almost fell down and had to hold on to the sink. Zhou Ziheng's heart skipped a beat and he hugged Xia Xiqing in his arms without caring about anything else. Xia Xiqing used all her strength to push him away but couldn't.
Only then did Zhou Ziheng feel the abnormal heat coming from him. He loosened his arms and reached out to touch Xia Xiqing's forehead, but he was dodged. Zhou Ziheng had no choice but to hold the back of his neck and rest his forehead against his.
"If someone sees me soon..."
"If you see it, you see it." Zhou Ziheng was so anxious that he almost got angry with him, but he quickly suppressed his emotions and softened his voice, "At most it will be on the gossip headlines, as long as you don't care."
I don't care anyway.
Xia Xiqing didn't say anything, nor did he struggle. Zhou Ziheng sniffed and took his forehead away, "You have a fever, let's go back to the hotel."
"I'm a man, and having a cold and fever isn't a serious illness. They're still in the private room. I can just call Xiaoxiao."
Zhou Ziheng pretended not to hear this and continued to speak, "Can you still walk? Forget it, don't go. I'll carry you." Then he half-knelt in front of Xia Xiqing, "Get up, let's go back."
He thought again that sick people were very fragile, and he shouldn't use such a tough attitude. So he turned around and looked up at Xia Xiqing, "Come up."
Xia Xiqing's nose was sour. Why did this person have to endure his harshness and absurdity again and again? The more this happened, the more he felt that he was hateful and pathetic. He had deliberately made Zhou Ziheng jealous more than once, causing Zhou Ziheng to lose his calmness and self-control. Zhou Ziheng just wanted to know what he was thinking, but he was tortured like this.
He bent down and hugged Zhou Ziheng's back, compromising with him and himself. Zhou Ziheng's arms wrapped around his thighs and held him on his back.
Xia Xiqing buried his head in Zhou Ziheng's neck.
That song was indeed sung for myself.
Don't allow him to be spoiled and don't become dependent on him.
It's easy to say. Xia Xiqing had never received so much love from anyone before, so much that he had been thinking from the beginning, if one day, if Zhou Ziheng didn't want him anymore, what would he do.
If it were in the past, he could still live carefreely as if nothing had happened, because he had never been loved.
But now, he has clearly been loved, how can he pretend that he has never been loved
How can I be calm about losing
"I'm sorry, I didn't take good care of you when you were sick." Zhou Ziheng carried him into the elevator, "I really..."
"With our relationship, there's no need for you to take care of me."
The words "not qualified" are probably more appropriate. Zhou Ziheng lowered his head and said with a smile, "Who said it's unnecessary? Even if we are friends, it's our duty to take care of each other when we are sick. At the very least, we are colleagues now..."
Xia Xiqing felt a stinging pain all over his body. He was clearly forced to say these words, but he didn't know why he felt so uncomfortable.
He carried her all the way downstairs. They had originally driven an ordinary car this time. Zhou Ziheng took the key himself, put Xia Xiqing in the passenger seat, fastened his seat belt, took out a thermos from the back seat, unscrewed the lid and handed it to him, "Drink some hot water." Zhou Ziheng sat in the driver's seat, reached out and touched Xia Xiqing's forehead, "You are sweating." He took a small blanket from the back seat and covered Xia Xiqing with it, then closed the car window for him.
This blanket looked very familiar. Xia Xiqing took a sip of hot water, and his memories were brought back in the mist.
It turned out that when he was sleeping in the dressing room in the afternoon, it was Zhou Ziheng who covered him with the blanket.
The hotel is not far from the KTV, a ten-minute drive. On the way, Zhou Ziheng called Director Kun and told them that he would send Xia Xiqing back to rest. After hanging up the phone, the traffic light turned red, and the car slowly braked and waited at the intersection.
"sorry."
Xia Xiqing suddenly apologized. Zhou Ziheng was stunned and turned his head to look at him.
"I..." Xia Xiqing's hands tightly grasped the wall of the cup and pursed his lips, "I know how hurtful what I did was."
Zhou Ziheng never thought that Xia Xiqing would feel guilty towards him. "No, it's okay. Since I said I can bear it, then I can do it, otherwise I wouldn't say it." The traffic light changed, and he stepped on the accelerator. "And I was the one who started it. In the end, it's all my fault."
Xia Xiqing lowered his eyebrows. If they had a falling out today, he might feel better. But Zhou Ziheng's compromise made him sad.
He was groggy with fever all the way and his senses became fuzzy. He didn't wake up until Zhou Ziheng put him on the bed. He watched Zhou Ziheng cover him with a quilt, tucking every corner of the quilt tightly to make it airtight.
"You've been drinking, so you can't take any medicine now." He took out a thermometer from his medicine box, shook it twice and reached into the quilt, "It might be a little cold." Seeing Xia Xiqing frowning because of the cold thermometer, Zhou Ziheng's heart suddenly softened and he just wanted to hold him tightly.
While taking the temperature, he went to get a basin of cold water, soaked his towel in it, wrung it dry, folded it and placed it on Xia Xiqing's forehead.
"It should be fine." Xia Xiqing took out the thermometer himself. Zhou Ziheng took it and looked at it. He felt relieved. "It's not bad, it's not bad. 37.7 degrees, a low fever, a low fever." He put the thermometer on the table while muttering to himself, "Otherwise, you won't be able to take medicine."
Xia Xiqing felt even more upset watching him running around like a headless fly.
"I was often sick when I was a child." After saying this introductory statement, Xia Xiqing couldn't help but laugh at himself in his heart. Can a cold and a fever really be used as a fragile excuse
But Zhou Ziheng just held his hand, knelt beside the bed and looked at him tenderly, which made him unable to bear to finish his words.
"Once I had a fever so severe that I couldn't speak, but I was still dragged to attend an art banquet because my mother promised others to take me there." Every time Xia Xiqing talked about the past, her eyes would unconsciously droop, as if she had closed a door, afraid that others would see what was hidden inside. "I was actually very uncomfortable. When I have a fever, all the bones in my body hurt, so I cried. My mother tried to comfort me at first and told me that she would take me to see a doctor as soon as it was over. But I kept crying and cried so hard that everyone looked at me. She felt that I didn't give her face and that I was embarrassing myself."
His eyelashes trembled slightly, trembling in Zhou Ziheng's heart. Zhou Ziheng gently kissed the back of Xia Xiqing's hand, and rubbed it gently with his thumb, "How old were you at that time?"
Xia Xiqing sniffed, "I can't remember clearly, probably in kindergarten? Elementary school? Anyway, he was quite young." He looked up at the ceiling and chuckled, "From then on, I never told anyone when I was sick, so as not to cause trouble to others. As long as I don't die, it doesn't matter."
The way he said this was exactly like Jiang Tong in the script.
Zhou Ziheng sat on the edge of the bed, and Xia Xiqing immediately turned his face to the other side. He didn't mind, but just held his hand tighter.
"You should be taken care of when you are sick." He took the towel off Xia Xiqing's forehead, soaked it in cold water again, wrung it out, and gently placed it on his forehead. "It's not you who's wrong, it's your parents."
Xia Xiqing didn't say anything, he felt that he was too willful. The sharpest thorn pierced into a ball of soft flesh, but it didn't retreat, instead he endured the pain and used the softness to wrap around his thorn.
In the end, the thorn grew together with the soft flesh and could not be pulled out or cut off.
His eyelids were too heavy to lift, and he could only feel a pair of hands tightly holding his, never letting go, until he sank into the warm dream pool.
In the middle of the night, Xia Xiqing woke up because of the heat. When he opened his eyes, he found Zhou Ziheng hugging him tightly through the quilt. He was probably holding him tightly because he wanted to kick the quilt off and catch a cold.
Xia Xiqing moved slightly, and Zhou Ziheng, without even opening his eyes, had already groped his hand to Xia Xiqing's forehead, and then leaned his forehead against hers, mumbling in a daze, "Back off, back off..."
His hand patted Xia Xiqing's back gently, as if it was an inertial action.
"good… "
Soon, the movements of his hands gradually slowed down and finally returned to calm.
When he finally fell asleep, Xia Xiqing dared to look at his face. Without warning, tears started to flow. He hugged Zhou Ziheng tightly and cried silently in his arms.
Why should you let yourself feel loved
The prescription written by Zhou Ziheng is no different from poison.
Zhou Ziheng was woken up by the alarm clock at five in the morning. He had slept for only two or three hours on and off, but he had a scene to shoot in the morning, so there was nothing he could do.
After Xia Xiqing's fever subsided, he was still sleeping soundly. Zhou Ziheng sat beside the bed and stared at him for a long time. Finally, he quietly kissed the tip of his nose before he was willing to leave.
When Xia Xiqing woke up, he felt much more relaxed all over. He felt a little dazed as if he had just recovered from a serious illness. He looked at Xiaoxiao busying around in the room, helping him open the lid of the preserved egg and lean meat porridge, "This is still a little hot, wait for it to cool down before eating, otherwise it will burn your throat." Xiaoxiao complained to him, "I was afraid that you would get sick, but you still got sick. Ziheng said that he would take you to see a doctor and get medicine as soon as you got up."
"… he's gone?"
"The show at five in the morning." Xiaoxiao opened the suitcase from Xia Xiqing's room, "What are you wearing? I'll get it out for you."
"It's all right." Xia Xiqing sat up from the bed, feeling empty inside. He knew Zhou Ziheng was going to film, but he still felt sad when he woke up and couldn't see him.
When did I become like this
Worry about gains and losses.
In the following week, the two maintained the same relationship as before. Song Nian would still come to Zhou Ziheng enthusiastically, but was always rejected by him. She didn't have many roles to begin with, and at best she was Gao Kun's unsuccessful first love.
The day she finished filming happened to be the day Zhou Ziheng had a crying scene, which was also his only crying scene in the entire script.
That was the scene where Gao Kun confessed to Lingling that he was sick.
In this scene, the director used handheld close-up shots to capture the expression on Gao Kun's face.
"You... What's wrong with you? Tell me." Lingling looked a little impatient. "What's the point of you being so hesitant?"
Gao Kun's eyes dodged, he licked his dry lower lip, and spoke in a hoarse voice, "I..." He seemed to be disgusted with himself for being such a coward, and he gritted his teeth and spoke bluntly, each word was clear and crisp, as if waiting for an ending of heroic sacrifice.
"AIDS. I have AIDS."
The other camera was facing Lingling. She frowned, and at first she couldn't believe it, but then she laughed, "No, are you kidding? How could you..."
"When drawing blood, the needle... the needle was contaminated again." Gao Kun lowered his head, "If I lied to you about one word, I'll be struck by lightning."
Lingling didn't say anything. She lowered her head and took out a cigarette. Her hands were shaking and she tried to light the lighter for a long time, but she couldn't light the fire. Gao Kun tried to get closer, but she overreacted and stepped back.
"Don't come over here." She threw the lighter on the ground, and the cigarette fell from her fingers. "When did you find out? This week? Or last week?" She hugged her arms with both hands. "You won't pass it on to me, will you? We didn't have sex, we just kissed. It shouldn't be contagious, definitely not..."
She was talking to herself, as if there was no one in front of her, but she looked at Gao Kun again with a complicated look in her eyes.
"You... you will..."
She suddenly couldn't say the rest of the words, so she simply stopped talking and turned around in her high heels. The sound of her high heels stepping on the concrete floor was crisp and cruel.
In fact, Gao Kun had expected such an outcome from the beginning, but he still didn't want to lie to her.
In the camera, Gao Kun lowered his head and stepped on the lighter on the ground. The cheap plastic shell rubbed against the rough concrete floor, making a harsh sound.
His brows were about to frown, but he forced them open again. He put his hands in his pockets and grinned stubbornly.
The previous close-up shot retreated a little bit, and his whole body gradually appeared in the picture. Gao Kun lifted his foot and let go of the small lighter. He squatted down to pick it up, and then picked up the cigarette that she had thrown here before, put it to his mouth, and then pressed it like she did before. After pressing it several times, he finally got a fire.
The faint flame flickering in the wind devoured the cigarette bit by bit, and a wisp of drifting smoke finally got the chance to escape to the horizon.
Gao Kun took a big gulp, and his face turned red as he coughed. He coughed harder and harder, and could only cover his mouth. The smoke in front of the camera gradually dissipated, and tears suddenly welled up, falling to the ground in big drops. The light gray ground was soaked by the liquid and turned dark, like a stain on old clothes that could not be removed no matter what.
His shoulders kept shaking, tears streaming down his face. He raised his hand to wipe away the smoke, took another puff, exhaled the smoke like a sigh, then lowered his head and let the tears fall.
“… That means I’ve learned how to smoke.” His voice was hoarse, and he lowered his head and laughed, a laugh that sounded sad and desperate.
"It's pretty simple."
He held the cigarette between his fingers, sat down on the ground, buried his head on his bent knees, and trembled all over.
Cigarette ashes fell like tears.
Everyone on the set watched quietly, no one spoke.
"Cut." The director called for a stop, but Zhou Ziheng was not like before. No matter how emotional the scene was, he could withdraw immediately. But it was over and he was still sitting there, his shoulders still shaking.
Kuncheng noticed something was wrong, and Xia Xiqing was right beside him, so he naturally asked him first, "What happened to Ziheng recently?"
Xia Xiqing shook his head and lied, "I don't know."
"Has he been heartbroken? He has never been in love." Kun Cheng said in a heavy tone, "I thought he would have to polish this scene for a long time. I've seen Ziheng's previous films. He is a talented actor, but it's obvious that he has no experience in love." He smiled, "When he encountered a love scene before, he just broke away from the situation. If it was an ordinary young love, he could still make up for it with his acting skills, but he can't act in a big scene that really requires emotion. He doesn't have the kind of heart-wrenching emotion to express."
Kun Cheng looked at the screen and said, "That's why I said before that actors still have to be in love. Otherwise, it's too much to ask them to act in something that doesn't exist."
"I really didn't expect him to suddenly come to his senses."
Xia Xiqing didn't finish listening to what he said, and couldn't listen any more. "I'll go see him." As he said that, he walked towards Zhou Ziheng who was still sitting on the ground. One step ahead of him was his co-star Song Nian.
"Ziheng, are you okay?" Song Nian asked with concern. Xia Xiqing slowed down his pace.
Zhou Ziheng still kept his head down and raised his hand to wave as if to refuse. Song Nian was hesitating whether to pull him up when a slender hand reached out, took out the cigarette that was still between his fingertips, and grabbed Zhou Ziheng's hand.
Almost in an instant, Zhou Ziheng raised his head.
He knew better than anyone who was holding him, and he couldn't believe it more than anyone else.
Xia Xiqing half-knelt in front of Zhou Ziheng, crushed the cigarette butt on the ground, reached out and patted Zhou Ziheng on the back, "Why are you crying like a child?" He then touched the back of Zhou Ziheng's head, "You look so sad."
It was rare for Zhou Ziheng to receive such comfort from him, and his tears once again flowed uncontrollably, which was really embarrassing.
Xia Xiqing almost forgot that Zhou Ziheng was just a child without any experience. He only had a passion and a sincere heart. However, no matter how passionate and enthusiastic he was, there would be times when he would retreat when met with coldness.
He turned around and smiled gently at Song Nian, "He might feel a little embarrassed with you here, but it's okay, he'll be fine in a while."
Song Nian was very aware of this obvious expulsion, and she smiled, "Then I'll go first. I'm wrapping up today, let's have dinner together tonight."
As soon as Song Nian left, Xia Xiqing reached out and hugged Zhou Ziheng, touching his head and mocking him mercilessly, "Only children would cry like this."
Zhou Ziheng already felt very embarrassed, but Xia Xiqing wanted to rub salt into his wounds. In order to protect his self-esteem, he had to retort, "You cried like this before."
Xia Xiqing was startled, thinking that Zhou Ziheng had discovered him crying in his arms on the day he had a fever. He pushed Zhou Ziheng away and asked, "Were you awake that day?"
"What do you mean awake..." Zhou Ziheng wiped his face, "I'm not drunk, you're the drunk one, you got drunk and hugged me and cried, and cried all the time."
Drunk? Xia Xiqing frowned. Could it be that they were not talking about the same day? "When?"
"The day Si Rui drank vodka with us was after we finished recording the show." Zhou Ziheng also noticed something was wrong, "Which day do you think it was?"
Xia Xiqing avoided the topic, and forcibly pulled Zhou Ziheng up, took out a wet tissue and threw it into his arms, "Wipe it yourself."
"You're giving me a headache." Zhou Ziheng raised his head and pressed his temple. Xia Xiqing suddenly discovered that he had a silver ring on his left ring finger, which he had never worn before.
He wanted to ask, but hesitated.
"The director is waiting, go over quickly."
Song Nian is a person who knows how to get along with others. Everyone in the crew likes her. When the filming was completed, the assistant director bought a big cake for her to celebrate.
Before dinner, Xia Xiqing went back to the RV to change clothes. There was no one in the car. He closed the door and did not turn on the lights. Suddenly, he heard some noise outside the car, which seemed to be Xiao Luo and Xiaoxiao.
"Song Nian is speechless. This is the trending search bought by their team, and these marketing accounts. How can she be so shameless? Who has a scandal with him? What kind of family background does our Ziheng have? How could he be with her..."
"Shh! Please keep your voice down so that Ziheng and that person can hear you. Sister Jiang Yin will definitely handle this matter. It's just a small matter. It's nothing."
Xia Xiqing casually put the T-shirt on his head, took out his mobile phone, and pushed a message directly to Weibo.
[Zhou Ziheng and Song Nian fell in love during the filming!? Various couple items revealed?]
This kind of clickbait title... He clicked on it and took a look. It was nothing more than some clothes and shoes of the same style, as well as screenshots of the video of their last meal together. Most of them were taken out of context. No matter how bad Xia Xiqing was, he knew that Zhou Ziheng had no other intentions towards Song Nian.
When Xia Xiqing's finger slid to the last picture, his hand paused.
That was the silver ring he had just found this morning. Correspondingly, Song Nian had once posted a platinum ring of a similar style on his Weibo, but the date was last month.
Xia Xiqing turned off his cell phone and suddenly opened the car door, which scared Xiao Luo and Xiaoxiao who were still standing at the door.
"Xi, Xi Qing? You're in the car."
"What's wrong? Why are you here?" Xia Xiqing took off his headphones and pretended to know nothing. "Let's go eat." After saying that, he walked towards the main group. On the way, he met a little girl from the props group. She smiled sweetly at Xia Xiqing and said, "Xiqing, let's go eat?"
"Yeah," Xia Xiqing also smiled politely and helped her get a big bag of props. The two walked side by side for two steps, and he suddenly remembered something, "... By the way, Xiaomeng, who is the person in charge of self-promotion props in your group?"
Before it got dark, Xia Xiqing used the excuse of skipping the wrap party and walked alone, wearing a mask, around the narrow and crowded community of Hua'anli. Zhou Ziheng made several calls, and he replied with a text message saying that he had something to do and was going to see his former classmates.
He had told too many lies to count, but now he found that he was becoming less and less able to lie, especially when facing Zhou Ziheng.
The sultry temperature distorted my mood. I passed by an old audio-visual store. The sound quality of the external speakers was very poor, but the songs they played were of good quality. At least they were not the kind of square dance accompaniment that is everywhere.
Xia Xiqing stood at the door for a while, looking at the mottled posters on the wall, the lyrics of the song vaguely yet clearly pouring into his ears.
Who made my life so miserable
Open the colorful door of heaven
I insist on pursuing half of my destiny
Tough to the point of complacency]
He lowered his head.
Zhou Ziheng personally opened the colorful door for him, leading to heaven.
But he didn't dare step in, he didn't belong there.
He turned around aimlessly, surrounded by the atmosphere of fireworks, but he was the only one who was cold and icy. If Zhou Ziheng had not met him, he might still be that talented and happy actor, unable to act out the grief of loss.
It would be great if he could accept it with confidence and not avoid it subconsciously.
But this is like cutting off a part of your body, which is too difficult.
Somehow, he walked into a culvert, which seemed to be filled with water. There was no one nearby. Xia Xiqing looked up and found that this culvert was different from all the culverts in Hua'anli. Its roof was not made of reinforced concrete that was shielded from the sunlight, but a mint green plastic shed. The sunlight that had not yet faded shone through it, refracting into a beautiful green color, like a dream.
Xia Xiqing rolled up his trouser legs and walked in, like a child attracted by a beautiful fairy tale, approaching the treasure in the cave step by step.
The romantic mint light enveloped him, and the walls of the culvert were also blue-green, blending in with the changing sunlight. Xia Xiqing was surprised that this chaotic and crowded place from the outside world actually had such a beautiful tunnel hidden inside. The beauty of the colors made him temporarily forget the puddles on the ground and the original intention of coming here.
Suddenly, he heard a sound and was about to put on his mask, but he found that the person walking around the corner of the tunnel was no one else.
It was Zhou Ziheng who was equally surprised.
"Why are you here?" Zhou Ziheng looked at him from a distance of two or three meters. Both of their calves were buried in the accumulated water. The ripples on the water surface pulled the two people together, becoming the only connection.
His poor lie was exposed. Xia Xiqing couldn't help but lower his head and laughed. After a while, he raised his head again and said, "I don't want to go to the wrap-up party. I want to walk around."
"You don't want to see me either?"
Xia Xiqing nodded and did not lie.
Zhou Ziheng smiled bitterly and looked up at the translucent roof of the culvert. The mint-colored sunset covered his face. "I discovered this place last week. It's beautiful, right? I feel better once I come in."
last week…
"My favorite place when I was a kid was the aquarium. Walking in the tunnel of the aquarium, I felt like I was the fish, swimming freely in the sea." Zhou Ziheng's smile gradually faded. "I haven't been there for a long time. I probably won't be able to go there casually in the future."
He lowered his head to look at Xia Xiqing, "Do you think this place looks like the tunnel in an aquarium?"
Xia Xiqing didn't say anything. He didn't know what he should say.
"It's great. We're the only two tourists."
"Um… "
Zhou Ziheng has a strange habit. When he is sad, he says all kinds of random and unrestrained words. This habit has long been discovered by Xia Xiqing. He is just trying to divert his attention.
"You should have heard of Schrödinger's cat," Zhou Ziheng said as usual, "You must know it. But in fact, everyone has a misunderstanding of this theory. People always understand Schrödinger's cat as a binary choice, a or not a. In fact, it is not. It is a superposition state, a and not a. It is like the cat locked in the box. Its state is not alive or dead, but alive and dead. Unless he opens the box to confirm, this superposition state will not collapse."
Xia Xiqing lowered his head and listened to him quietly, like a very competent listener.
"Do you know what my first reaction was when I first learned this theory?" He paused, without waiting for Xia Xiqing to respond, "I felt that the cat was so pitiful. If it were me, I would definitely not be willing to put it in. But if I did put it in, I would definitely not be willing to open the box to confirm whether it survived or not."
He suddenly smiled bitterly, "Sure enough, when it was my turn, I really didn't dare to open it."
Xia Xiqing frowned slightly and looked up at him.
"If I don't open this box, I can pretend that he is alive and maintain the superficial happiness." Zhou Ziheng licked his dry lips, "We will be trapped in this superposition state forever. You may love me, or you may not. In short, no one knows the result."
"If my feelings were simply at the level of liking you, I would be content with this state of superposition. As long as we are happy together, that's enough. I like your talent, your cunning, and the charm of your eyes and eyebrows. Your shortcomings, your past, and even the ambiguity between you and others are not enough to affect me."
Xia Xiqing had seen it a long time ago, but when she heard him say it with her own ears, her heart couldn't help but tremble.
"But no, I couldn't control the crazy growth of this feeling. It turned into love, and then I was helpless. I began to feel jealous, angry, and fearful. I hid in fear, afraid that you would find out how I felt about you, then kick me away and move on to the next person. I hid until I lost my sense of proportion and couldn't hide any longer."
His emotions were getting heavier and heavier, making it difficult for him to speak. "You know, I've thought more than once that it would be great if you were just an inanimate object, like a painting or a sculpture, and became my private property. Then I wouldn't be afraid."
"These dark sides are so terrible that they have turned me into a completely different person." Zhou Ziheng smiled with difficulty, "It began to torture me and forced me to torture you. I don't want to go on like this."
His footsteps were in the accumulated water, the sound of the flowing water echoed in the empty culvert, and the ripples pushed Xia Xiqing's legs layer by layer, trying to force him to retreat.
He should have backed off, he should have run away.
But Xia Xiqing didn't move.
His mind works very slowly.
He doesn't want to go on like this, what does that mean...
Do you want to end it? You finally don't want to endure it anymore.
"I want to collapse this superposition state right now." Zhou Ziheng stood in front of him and held his shoulders.
At this moment, Xia Xiqing actually wished he was deaf, and would not be able to hear anything.
It turned out that he didn't dare to lift the lid.
"Xia Xiqing, I love you." The last bit of light from the mint sunset hit his face, and he smiled, "The box is open."
"It's pretty simple."
This expression and tone are exactly the same as Gao Kun's when he forced himself to smoke.
As the sun set, the culvert began to darken little by little.
Xia Xiqing still kept his head down. He didn't have the courage to tell his answer. In fact, he didn't know the answer in his heart. All that flashed through his mind were the past. Those hurts appeared all the time, destroying the confidence he had built up with great difficulty.
"I'm not waiting for your answer." Zhou Ziheng touched the top of his head, his tone extremely gentle.
His hand dropped again, but was caught by Xia Xiqing. Zhou Ziheng was a little puzzled, "What's wrong?"
Xia Xiqing touched the ring on his left hand, but Zhou Ziheng dodged it. He raised his head and said, "I asked the props, and he said this is not the ring for Gao Kun, why are you wearing it?"
"No, this is..." Zhou Ziheng's eyes were a little evasive, and Xia Xiqing was even more convinced that there was something wrong, "Why are you feeling guilty?"
"I didn't." Zhou Ziheng quickly refuted, and then a self-destructive expression appeared on his face, "I don't feel guilty."
He sighed, took off the ring, spread out his hand and handed it over to Xia Xiqing along with the ring.
Xia Xiqing's attention was attracted by the ring at first, but when he was about to pick it up, he saw the real answer.
There was a red rose tattooed on the spot on his ring finger that was covered by the ring.
The pattern and design were drawn on his hand with a pen while he was sleeping.
Xia Xiqing looked up in disbelief and saw Zhou Ziheng's evasive and embarrassed look. "I bought this ring on the street to cover my tattoo. I was afraid that you would see it and it would be embarrassing, but I like this little rose and want to keep it forever."
"I... I know you may not like me yet, and you can't completely believe what I say." Zhou Ziheng looked uneasy, and his words became incoherent. "I can, no, I mean, can we give it a try? If you really don't like it, you can always..."
Before he could finish his words, a pair of feet suddenly stepped on his feet in the puddles. Xia Xiqing's voice was muffled, as if he had been immersed in some kind of blue-green potion for years.
"It's getting dark." Xia Xiqing looked up, his eyes bright as if covered by moonlight, "Hold me."
Zhou Ziheng was overjoyed, his anxious heart almost bursting. He hugged Xia Xiqing tightly, as if afraid that he would regret it, "You, you mean..."
"Trial period." Xia Xiqing buried her head in Zhou Ziheng's shoulder. "I can return the product anytime and anywhere. Is that okay?"
"Sure!" Zhou Ziheng was as happy as a child. He almost cried again, "Of course, of course."
Seeing him so happy, Xia Xiqing began to doubt herself again, "I may still not be able to overcome it. I have never been in a true relationship with anyone..."
"Me too." Zhou Ziheng kissed the top of his head, "Let's try it together."
The author has something to say: Song: Shirley Kwan's "The End of the Earth"