I Only Want You

Chapter 29: miss

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I just want you to miss me

every time

Awakening from a dream

Crying silently

I miss you wantonly

—Nanhe Wendou "Accompany You to Get Drunken and Laugh for Three Thousand Times"

Liao Weixin's worries and repeated warnings were not without reason. However, in just half a year, he had fully witnessed the resolute side of this awkward little lover. He never left himself a way out when doing things, and once he made up his mind, he would be determined. He always went from one extreme to another, with no middle ground. Liao Weixin did not want Bai Jiming to conflict with his parents, because that would not solve the problem at all, but would make the conflict more acute, and both sides would suffer.

But he never expected that the stubborn and resolute Bai Jiming would use another method to fight against his parents, especially his mother's opposition. And this method is exactly what people can't stand the most.

-silence.

After Liao Weixin left, Bai Jiming has not spoken a complete sentence to his parents. The mild autism he had in childhood, like a recurring disease, has firmly grasped him. No matter what Bai's parents say to him, he replies with a short nasal sound or words of no more than three words. He doesn't watch TV or listen to music. He will not spend more than 5 minutes eating at the dining table, and he will not stay in the living room for more than a step. Bai Jiming only locks himself in the bedroom. When it is quiet around, Bai's parents can vaguely hear the sound of him frequently chatting on the phone.

At the beginning, Bai Jiming called Liao Weixin and they talked for hours. Bai Jiming didn't know that he would desire Liao Weixin to this extent. It didn't matter what he said on the phone, or even what he said. He just wanted to know that this person was always there, by his side; he just wanted to hear that person's voice, even if it was just breathing.

It was Liao Weixin who first felt something was wrong. He said, "Don't do this, Ji Ming, don't do this. You should spend more time with your parents instead of calling me so frequently. Okay..." He coaxed this awkward lover like coaxing a child, "Okay, how many days a year can you be with your parents? But we are together almost every day."

If Liao Weixin saw Bai Jiming's current state, he would definitely not say that. Bai Jiming no longer called Liao Weixin so often, but he still kept silent. A few times, Bai's father thought his son was asleep, so he quietly opened the door, only to see Bai Jiming lying flat on his back with his eyes open, looking at the pale ceiling. That look had no meaning. He lived in his own world, but Bai's father could not see a single glimpse of that world.

The house was as quiet as a desert.

The TV was on, but the various cheerful New Year greetings, the lively New Year songs, and the crackling firecrackers outside could not bring the three people any warmth or joy. The house was still a desert, so quiet that people could clearly feel the irritability in their hearts, like poisonous weeds slowly poking their heads out, growing faster and faster, winding to every corner of the room, and even twisting into the air, suppressing people and making them feel suffocated.

Bai's mother and father tried more than once to have a good talk with Bai Jiming. Every time, they kept their son in the living room with various excuses and slowly persuaded him. Especially Bai's mother, she always believed that she did nothing wrong. Her son was still too young. How could he foresee the difficulties in the future? It was her responsibility to choose the happiest path for him.