boom—
The train let out another heavy cry, accompanied by the flashing of lightning outside the window, making it impossible to tell whether it was the sound of thunder or the movement of the wheels rubbing against the sleepers.
The air seems to freeze, and the dust floating here will be frozen into ice ballast.
Sun Xuxue backed out with a wink and stood at the entrance of the carriage to keep the wind. Although no one was shaking back and forth in the middle of the night, if anyone wanted to go to the toilet, she could persuade them to go to the other side, lest the ancestors They are disturbed.
Nanyang stared at Qing Huan closely, he didn't speak for a long time, there were too many things in his heart, and the entangled explanation couldn't go up and down in his throat, and he couldn't find a word to break the silence.
Qing Huan seemed to think that she was a bit ridiculous, the corners of her lips curved up again, and her voice was choked up: "Say, what else do you want to leave for me?"
Nanyang looked away, didn't dare to look at her, and only whispered, "...I'm sorry."
"This is what you have been unwilling to tell me?" Qing Huan shrugged her shoulders with a smile, "Is this what you think you are hiding from me for my good?"
Nanyang gritted his teeth, the pain in his chest never stopped, and it was raging like a monstrosity at this moment.
"Don't tell me when you're sick, you have to stand it alone, even if it threatens your life..." Qing Huan's tears flowed from the corners of her eyes, her voice trembled, "No, it's not life-threatening, it's already taking your life. Is your life exhausted? Otherwise, what will you make?"
Qing Huan took a step forward, her fingertips rubbed the iron sheet, and a blood stain crawled under her finger, "You just want to endure this forever, until one day, I suddenly can't find you, and then I see you again. Is it your dead body, and a piece of cold property distribution audio that you left me?"
"..." Nan Yang resisted the gushing blood from his throat, covered the position of his heart, and frowned tightly.
"Do you think I'll be moved? Moved to tears?" There was a bit of bitterness in the laughter, "Or do you think, with the house and money you left behind, I'll find someone else to start a new one happily. Life?"
"No wonder, no wonder you are so abnormal these two days, you are no longer reserved or conservative, you hug me in public, and do it with me in public places like the train sleeper. Do you think you are giving me the last gift? Do you think I will Thinking back on these days makes me laugh out loud, doesn't it?"
Nanyang clutched her chest and bent down, the accumulated pain and bruising all over her body, making it impossible for her to speak.
"You talk," Qing Huan cried out with a smile, "you just leave this to me, right?"
Nanyang narrowed his eyes and looked at her, and there were already double images in his sight. She tried her best to say something, but Qing Huan asked her to say that even if she didn't know what to say, she had to say something. But she didn't dare to open her mouth, she wasn't sure whether the blood she spit out would splash on Qinghuan's clothes.
"Nanyang... How come you don't understand?" Qing Huan's tears soaked her entire face, and the tears condensed on her chin and dripped onto the black jacket, "Why don't you understand my feelings for you? Do you believe it? If I could, I wish... I wish I could die for you... "
- If there is a day when danger comes, I am willing to die for you.
Nanyang finally couldn't bear it anymore, turned his head away, coughed up a large mouthful of blood, and the bright red blood splashed onto the white shirt, spreading a dazzling red crack.
The eyes are blurry, as if the scene that has appeared countless times in the dream has appeared again.
The same face, with the same tears, in order to protect her life, she sent her heart to the tip of Luoshuang's sword.
The past memories overlapped with the dream-like reality. The severe pain caused her consciousness to become dazed. She clutched her chest and knelt down on one knee, her eyes distorted, as if she couldn't hold it any longer.
When she leaned forward, what greeted her was not the cold ground, but a warm and soft embrace.
Qing Huan stepped forward, knelt down beside her in embarrassment, hugged her tightly, and clasped her blood-stained fingers on her back, almost rubbing her into her own blood.
She hugged her and cried and said, "Why are you so annoying... Why can't I be angry even when I'm angry, why am I being deceived into this, and I still can't be really angry... "
Nanyang tried her best to grab the corner of Qinghuan's clothes. Even at this time, she still tried her best to keep her body upright, for fear of putting all the weight on Qinghuan's body.
But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't hold on. Her head rested weakly on Qing Huan's shoulder, her chin was slightly raised, and the blood overflowing from her mouth and nose flowed down her chin to her chin and the base of her ears, and then from the base of her ears into the neckline of her shirt. Soon, half of the shoulders and body were dyed red, lined with plain white cloth, as if a bowl of gaudy and thick paint was poured on the boundless snow.
Qing Huan had never seen anyone who could shed so much blood. Her eyes were frightened and panicked. She cried even more fiercely, burying her tears-blurred face in her shoulders, sobbing and saying intermittently, "We Stop recording, get off now, I'll take you to the hospital, don't have an accident... I beg you, I can't live without you... Nanyang, don't leave me alone, I beg you, don't let me live alone , I... can't live, really can't live... please..."
Can't live
Yes, when the person you love most dies, it is indeed impossible to live.
After Qing Huan's death, how did she survive these three thousand years...
If she knew from the beginning that she would be exhausted in her ninety-ninth life, she would never have entered her life. She clearly knew what it was like to watch her loved one die in front of her eyes, yet she had to let Qing Huan take such a risk. She thought that they had only been married for a few short months, and even if they parted, they would not be as miserable as 3,000 years ago. But it turns out that the depth of love has nothing to do with time.
If it is really confirmed that they are each other, it will last for thousands of years in an instant.
In fact, she also thought about whether to take the initiative to guide Qinghuan to recall the past, as long as Qinghuan can remember, these problems will no longer exist. But she was also afraid that, before Qinghuan's personalities of the two worlds did not take the initiative to overlap, she rashly mentioned her past life, which would make Qinghuan doubt the meaning of her existence in this life, and wondered if what Nanyang liked was the completely unfamiliar Qinghuan three thousand years ago. , Or the Qinghuan who grew up in modern society in this life. So Nanyang can only wait, wait for Qinghuan to remember her past life, let her witness the stories she walked with her, wait for her to be sure that her ninety-ninth life exists, that the first life is her, The rabbit was her, the spider was her, and now she is her. Only when she went to live her own ninety-ninth life by herself could she live the rest of her life without any grudges.
Waiting without knowing the end is the most desperate wait.
A journey with no end in sight is like a train that never knows when it will arrive at the station. It can only be bumped with its bumps, and it will move forward as it moves forward, without knowing when it will stop or when its fuel consumption will be. At the end of the day, it was forced to stop in the barren valley and turned into a dead steel bone that would never whistle again.
Will this forced stop be the last
Nanyang clenched Qinghuan's wrist tightly, his eyes were red, and he murmured what his brain had never screened:
"I don't want to die, really... don't want to die... help, help me..."
A few days ago, she was still lying in the hospital bed, and she said to Mei Zhongli and others with an open-mindedness: the passing of life is nothing but the reincarnation of heaven, and all things follow the same rules. to die. But when she was really facing the threat of death, especially when she was held in her arms by Qing Huan, she realized that she really didn't think so much.
Not reconciled.
How can you be willing
After three thousand years of watching, what she got is this ending, how can she rest her eyes? !
How could she rest assured to leave Qinghuan alone in this world? If she died, would Mei Zhongli still take care of Zhu's family and Qinghuan as before? The entertainment industry is so dark, how does Qing Huan go about trying to find a way out? Today Bai Jinqiu is still embarrassing her, she is so kind, if she doesn't have herself, who can stand in front of her to protect her
The recipe is not finished yet.
This is a great river and mountain, and they haven't had time to take a look together.
There are also weddings that are not held.
Buy her a one-of-a-kind diamond ring.
They will also have a child of their own with her.
Really don't want to die.
Nanyang closed his eyes in the warm embrace, half of the begging words in his mouth, and he lost consciousness.
The moment she fell into darkness, she felt in a trance that the man's hand squeezed her shoulder tightly, so hard that it seemed to crush her.
As if crushed, you can hold it.
In the past three thousand years, she never dreamed. Maybe it's because this body is in the state of death. She is a person who died three thousand years ago. Dead people can't dream, so she doesn't dream.
But this time, she had a dream.
She dreamed that she was wearing a white ancient costume, just like the old days in Beifu Mountain. The pure white long sleeves fluttered in the breeze, and the cuffs and robe corners were embroidered with quaint white crane embossed patterns. She was walking on a long and straight path, so long that she could not see the end at a glance. There were plum trees on both sides of the road, and when the wind blew, the petals filled the sky.
She looked down at herself and found that her heart was bleeding, and the blood dyed her white clothes mottled. The right hand was also bleeding, and the wound was still open. The hot blood flowed down her wrist to the fingertips, and then dripped to the ground from the fingertips. The road behind her was a red line pressing on the soil, and the scarlet blood reflected. With the petals all over the sky, it is strangely harmonious.
She was walking on the road, not knowing why she was here or where she was going.
She only knew that she was going to move forward and keep going.
There must be something waiting for her at the end. The thing she's been craving most of all time.
Enduring the pain, enduring the loneliness, and being alone, the only person who accompanied her was a jade gourd on her waist that was rubbed and moistened. The gourd contained the ashes of her little apprentice.
After walking, the plum trees on both sides gradually withered, turning into dead branches with claws and claws. Later, the dead trees turned into tombstones, on which were engraved the names of every passer-by in her three-thousand-year life. Among them, one person's name was engraved ninety-eight times.
The road under your feet was originally a dirt road, and slowly, the dirt road turned into a flagstone road, the flagstone road became a green brick road, and the blue brick road turned into an asphalt road. She is more and more out of place in ancient costumes. She walks here like a tropical fish swimming into the Arctic Ocean and a brush falling on an oil canvas. She is an anomaly independent of the world in front of her.
The loneliness of standing alone across the world is the most painful loneliness. She can clearly see all kinds of people standing just a short distance away, but she clearly understands that in this world, no one can understand her life.
No one comes, no one returns.
I don't know how long she walked, and she finally came to the end of the road.
At the end is a meandering and gentle river bank. Looking around, the dark river water is filled with gentle and delicate ripples. The end of the road stretched naturally into the river, heralding her end and guiding her through her final journey.
She smiled relieved.
It turns out that death is the disappearance of water into water.
fair enough.
It's also liberation.
She closed her eyes and was about to take the last step when she suddenly heard someone calling her from behind:
"Nanyang."
She paused, turned her head slowly, and saw a woman standing behind her with gleaming eyes. The woman took a step forward and reached out to hold her bleeding right wrist, with tears in her eyes:
"Wait for me."
"I know you're working hard, I'm sorry I made you wait too long."
"It's very soon, it's really fast, you wait for me."
"Please, wait for me."