I, Qinghuan

Chapter 83

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The train journey of "Honeymoon Together" only lasted for a day, and Nanyang and Qinghuan got off the train halfway. Nanyang's health was out of order, and the program team was in a mess. They took her off the train at the nearest Xingyuan station. The ambulance had long been waiting at the entrance of the train station and was pulled all the way to Xingyuan City Hospital without any hindrance. Tomorrow night, after Cheng and Qi Yi heard about it, the ants on the hot pot were as anxious as the ants on the hot pot, and they wanted to watch the show, but the show was still going on, so they couldn't lose four guests at once, so they could only stay on the train and continue to participate. record.

Nanyang entered the emergency room, and it was the same as before. Modern medicine could not find the cause at all, so she could only use all means to give her blood transfusion to ensure that her vital signs would not disappear. But just like this, the hospital's plasma was not enough, and all the blood bags from the surrounding hospitals were urgently dispatched overnight to barely reach it.

Not long after, the doctor came out and issued a critical illness notice. When Qing Huan took it, his hands were shaking so much that he almost didn't catch it.

How long the lights in the emergency room were on, how long did Qing Huan and Sun Xuxue stand outside. Neither of the two were sitting, nor could they remember to sit. I don't know how long it took, Qing Huan raised her eyes like she was just waking up from a dream and looked at Sun Xuxue:

"Now, you still don't want to tell me the truth?"

Sun Xuxue looked terrified. She was young and only knew how to obey her grandfather's orders. She had never been forced to ask questions like this before.

"You must know what kind of disease she has, right?" Qing Huan took a step closer to Sun Xuxue, her eyes burning, "You must know how to treat it, right?"

"No, I... I don't know..." Sun Xuxue shook her head hastily, and took two steps back, "I really don't know..."

"If you really don't know anything, why would she read the will to you with confidence?" Qing Huan continued approaching aggressively, "So it's not that you don't know, but you can't tell, right?"

Sun Xuxue shook her head vigorously: "No, I didn't..."

"Xu Xue," Qing Huan had already pushed her into the corner of the radiator, "her problem... is related to me, isn't it?"

Sun Xuxue opened her eyes in surprise and asked uncertainly, "You, do you remember anything?"

A daze flashed across Qinghuan's eyes, "Remember? You mean... Did I forget anything?"

"Don't force me..." Sun Xuxue was about to cry, and squatted down with her head in her arms, "I can't tell you, the ancestor said, we can't interfere in this matter, we can't tell you anything, only You can think for yourself, I can't say anything... Please, don't ask me, and if you go on, grandpa will beat me woo woo woo... "

"Let me... think for yourself?"

What does she want

What did she forget

There was a sudden tremor in his mind, and he quickly flashed through a few blurred images in his dreams. Nan Yang, who was wearing a long white robe, a snow-blue long sword, criss-cross scars on her thin white body, nosebleeds, her right hand, her heart... Everything was about to come out from her chest, but it was only superficial. Not broken, not see through.

As a modern person who has been educated in materialism since she was a child, she has never believed in illusory things like ghosts, let alone past and present lives. But she was sure that in the past twenty-four years, she had never seen Nanyang. If there were any other memories between her and her, it must have been before these twenty-four years.

Has it something to do with the dream she's been having

Is Nanyang's now exhausted body related to her

The door of the emergency room was suddenly opened, and a nurse came out with a mobile phone and a Kindle in her hands. After looking around, she found Qinghuan, and came over and handed it to her: "This is the patient's valuables, hand it over first. Keep it for you, now a new round of rescue is going on, defibrillation is on." The nurse's words seemed a little cruel, but she forced herself to continue, "You should know the meaning of electric defibrillation, patient. The heartbeat has stopped, and if the defibrillation can't be rescued, then these things... are the last things left by the patient, you have to put them away."

Qing Huan's hands trembled too much, and when she heard the nurse say "heartbeat stopped", her whole body froze, and the Kindle she had just received fell to the ground. With a "snap-" sound, the Kindle's protective case was smashed apart from the host.

A stack of beige-colored things fell out. It was obviously sandwiched between the protective case and the Kindle for many years. It was neatly pressed, like paper, but the surface was carefully sealed. It seemed to be a well-preserved antique.

Qinghuan frowned, hesitated for a while, then bent down and picked up the stack of beige paper. Touching the layer of smooth protection made on the paper, a strange emotion flooded my brain. Shaking her hands, she carefully opened the stack of papers little by little.

The paper is very large, with ugly and distorted traditional calligraphy writing on it. I don't know how much pain the person who wrote it endured, but even if the words are ugly, they have written this full page.

Qing Huan was trembling all over, her emotions started to get out of control, but she still forced herself to focus on the paper—

.

"I don't know when I'm going to die, I just know that I really don't have much time left. My mind is chaotic most of the time, and I don't know what I've been doing all day. I know very well, This time with you may really be a goodbye, and my life should come to an end."

"There are some things that I don't want to say to you until I'm about to die. The goodbye must be said early enough to be complete enough. I'm afraid that I won't have time to say these words, so I swallowed my last breath."

"I'm sad to know that death is approaching me day by day. I'm not afraid of death. People are mortal, and the disappearance of life is nothing but the reincarnation of heaven, and all things are the same. I'm sad that I will never see the one I love again. people."

"I can't bear you, I can't bear it, how can I bear it?"

"Sometimes I think, I would rather you die before me and let you break your last breath in my arms. Your life is also very complete. Then all the pain and despair of losing a wife are left to me, you Sleeping with peace of mind is better than anything else. I have always been so eager to protect you, just as you protected the young, embarrassed, unbearable, and despicable me back then."

"People in the world say that old grace is like rose water, dripping on the clothes until death. As long as you rescued me, I planned to repay you for a lifetime of kindness."

"Master, you said that in this life, who doesn't experience pain and torture? It's like the sky always rains and the mud always gets dirty. But I have this life, and I'm willing to fight my life to block everything that belongs to me. your suffering."

"Sigh, I don't have time anymore."

"I once told you on Kunlun Mountain and in my mother's tomb that if I die one day, I will burn my body with a fire, and you will take the ashes with you. I'm actually very selfish, and I don't want to part with you at all. Forget me, I want you to remember me for the rest of your life, even if I turn into ashes, I will follow you by your side. Even if I am dead and dead, I will never live up to the oath of life and death. "

"I'm really sorry for you, I'm sorry for many people. But fate has already decided this farce, since I was born, since I met you. Beifu, Luanhua, and Burning Tian, I've been through this journey once and for all. There is no chance to say no, my life is nothing but a joke, causing people to resent in vain. It’s all destiny, it’s all a tragedy brewed by heaven, I have no choice but to bear it.”

"And the only thing I've ever done that is the most defiant and the most worthwhile thing in my life is to fall in love with you, and this love will not be over until the end of my life. Although I can't accompany you all my life, but I've been with you all my life, in the past ten years, I haven't missed you or missed you a day, those things I've said to hurt you are all lies, you must forgive me."

"After I die, I also hope that you will build a tomb for me, and the tombstone must be engraved with the prefix of my beloved wife. I have always lied to you, in fact, we have already worshipped. I hid it from you before, and then I realized that this was wrong to you. It's really unfair."

"You just need to understand that you are my righteous wife, and so am I."

"In my life, I owe a lot to others. For myself, I failed to live a long and peaceful life; for my father, I failed to fulfill my filial piety; for my wife, I failed to accompany the old man. The saddest thing is the death of a person and the heart is not dead. There are all kinds of things in the world. For regret."

"I was bound by many factors during my lifetime, and it's a pity that I couldn't take a good tour of this great river and mountain. If you can, take my ashes with you and travel thousands of miles of mountains and rivers to see with your own eyes the different scenery in different regions. You If you believe in reincarnation, I will be somewhere in this world, waiting for you to find me."

"If you can't find it, you don't have to wait for me. After all, in those long hours, how long can a person wait?"

"Can you wait until the heavy snow from Beipu never falls from spring to autumn?"

"Can you wait until all the islands in the East China Sea are submerged by the sea horizon?"

"Can you wait until the world has been leveled from the four seas to the split, and then restored to stability from the turmoil?"

"Can you wait... can you forget me again?"

"My most regret is that there is nothing in this world that can promise you."

"If there is an afterlife, I will allow you to live forever."

.

If there is an afterlife…

Afterlife

What is the afterlife

Whose afterlife

There is no northern punishment in the world, the sea level of the East China Sea is sinking and rising, and the world has been divided and closed countless times. In those long hours, who waited so long for whom

Qing Huan shook her head vigorously, wanting to shake Chaos's brain more awake, but she didn't want to shake it, and a string of blood beads was thrown directly from the ground. Before she could react, Sun Xuxue noticed it first. After a brief absence, Sun Xuxue panicked and took out a stack of paper and shoved it to her, her voice full of fear:

"You, you have a nosebleed!"

Qing Huan wiped her nose with the back of her hand, staring blankly at the scarlet on her hand, an unusually familiar feeling flooded into her heart. It seemed that from the beginning to the end, it was her who should have nosebleeds. In the past years, it was just the person inside who was punished for her.

Sun Xuxue saw Nanyang's nosebleed more, and hurriedly called for the doctor.

She shouted too exaggeratedly, and there were panic footsteps in the hospital corridor, and the nurses behind even brought a stretcher. The doctor at the front rushed over and hurriedly asked what was going on. Sun Xuxue pointed tremblingly at Qing Huan, who had a nosebleed. The doctor did a simple examination for Qing Huan on the spot, and a group of nurses behind him were nervously ready to go. After a while, the doctor pushed up his glasses and glared at Sun Xuxue: "It's just a nosebleed, you have such a big reaction. What are you doing?"

Sun Xuxue was stunned for a long time, and pointed to the emergency room: "The one who was rescued also had a nosebleed."

"The situation is different," the doctor waved and motioned to the nurses behind him to go home. "Miss Zhu is just too tense and a little angry. Just grab some toilet paper and stop it."

Sun Xuxue asked again: "Is it all right?"

"It's alright," the doctor took out a packet of napkins from the pocket of the white coat and stuffed it into Sun Xuxue, "it will stop in a few minutes."

Covering her nose, Qing Huan hurriedly folded the letter paper back in her hand, put it back between the Kindle and the protective case, and nodded politely to the doctor: "I'm sorry." She buried her head, stuffed everything in her hand into Sun Xuxue, and said "I'm going to the toilet," and left in a hurry.

In the toilet, she leaned beside the sink, turned on the faucet and held the water next to her chin to wash. Her nose was still bleeding, but not much, and it returned to normal after two minutes of washing.

She raised her eyes and looked at herself with drops of water all over her face in the mirror. After looking at it for a long time, she felt unfamiliar. The eyes are still the same pair of eyes, and the nose is the same nose, but it feels like something is wrong, and there is something missing.

She closed her eyes and tried her best to recall the letter just now, as well as those previous dreams, recalling her words and deeds in the dream. After being immersed for a long time, she couldn't tell who she was, but felt that many voices were buzzing in her mind, some unfamiliar and some familiar, the most familiar was Nanyang's voice. But in the ambiguity, Nanyang's attitude when talking to her seems to be different from now, it is completely the tone of the elders to the younger generation, and she always likes to surround Nanyang, and there are only two words in her mouth.

She should be calling Nanyang, but she is sure that she is not calling Nanyang's name.

Because she knew subconsciously that it was inappropriate to call Nanyang by her first name.

What does she call her

What should she call her

Was it the two words that were shouted back and forth in that old letter

Qinghuan was in a trance when she suddenly heard the sound of running footsteps outside the toilet. After a while, Sun Xuxue's head popped in, and she said with red eyes, "I wish you, she came out of the emergency room!"

Qing Huan was in a trance for a moment.

Who is wishing

Ah... yes, it's herself.

"Is she out of danger?" Qing Huan asked hastily.

"Yeah! It's alright," Sun Xuxue wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes, "Didn't Sister Nurse say that her heartbeat stopped, but after you just had a nosebleed, she suddenly stopped bleeding, and new blood can finally exist in her body After the blood stopped, the heartbeat slowly recovered, and now he has been transferred to the intensive care unit, but the person has not woken up yet. Do you want to see her? "

Qing Huan went straight out of the toilet, while Sun Xuxue hurriedly followed and took her to Nanyang's ward.

The ward is a separate room, with separate beds and matching sofas, and the decoration is also more refined than the general ward. On the lonely hospital bed, Nanyang sank into the snow-white quilt. The forearm pressing on the quilt seemed to be a little paler than the quilt. Through the thin soft skin, he could vaguely see the tiny blood vessels underneath. Her hands had been cut through the back of her hands before, and there was no way to put a needle there, so the doctor put a needle on the inside of her wrist, and a bag of bright red plasma was hanging from the infusion pole.

Nanyang's index finger is holding a sensor clip for blood oxygen saturation, and the instrument next to it shows the normal number of indicators. Everything indicates that she is in a temporarily stable state.

Both Qing Huan and Sun Xuxue breathed a sigh of relief. Sun Xuxue looked at her phone, it was already eight in the morning, thinking that everyone hadn't eaten, Nanyang was probably hungry when she woke up, so she ran out to buy breakfast first.

As he was leaving, he closed the door kindly.

Qing Huan stood at the door and stared at Nan Yang for a long time. Her mind is in a mess now, and she can't understand anything. She thought that some things had to be told to her by Nanyang himself. No matter how bizarre an explanation Nanyang gave her, she would believe it now. She is only one truth away from finding her true self, no matter how mysterious and mysterious the truth is.

But if Nanyang really wakes up, she has to be more patient and gentle. If Nanyang still doesn't want to say it, she has to control herself and don't force Nanyang unconsciously.

She still remembered the appearance of Nanyang when she fainted in her arms. She never thought that one day she would see Nanyang like that. She was as fragile as a half-burned match in the strong wind. In his arms, begging himself to save her. She had no doubt that it would be the last hug between them, and the first time she had felt death so close. There is a saying: People die like a lamp goes out. She held her at that time, like holding a lamp that had no protective cover at all. Even if the flames stuck to her fingers, it couldn't stop the wind flowing in between her fingers.

Fortunately, she is still alive and well, and they still have many possibilities. Some things have to be resolved, but it can be slowed down a little bit more slowly. As long as Nanyang can stay by her side in a healthy way, she is willing to spend the rest of her life waiting for that answer.

Qing Huan crouched beside the bed, held Nan Yang's hand, buried her face in Nan Yang's palm, felt the temperature there, and her tears flowed unconsciously.

I don't know how long it took, the palm of my hand suddenly trembled, the person on the bed breathed slightly, and seemed to wake up.

After a while, a hoarse and familiar voice came from the head of the bed: "... Qing Huan?"

Qing Huan raised her head with tears in her eyes, and looked into Nan Yang's half-dazed eyes without saying a word, unable to say a thousand words.

Nanyang was also a little awake, his eyes were still hazy, he tentatively bent his fingers, and hesitantly asked: "Am I... still alive?"

Qing Huan held the hand she was trying to bend, opened her mouth, and hesitated. She wanted to call her, but she found that she couldn't call her name at all. Her brain told her that she couldn't call her name, she shouldn't call her name. But what is she going to call her

The bottom of her eyes slid through the momentary daze, and according to the instinct of her body, she pulled up the dusty old soil, and the blood in her whole body was like the roots of the intertwined trees on the ground chassis, with the peristalsis of her lips.

Finally, she moved her lips and teeth with difficulty, and with the habit engraved in her memory, she whispered the two words that had been buried in her heart for a long time:

"... teacher... father?"

Nanyang opened his eyes suddenly, his light brown pupils were stained with blood, looked at Qing Huan in disbelief, his voice trembled violently:

"You, what did you call me?"