After opening the medical record, Cheng Zhichu saw the word "Xie Yuanhuai" at first sight. He thought it should be Xie Yuanhuai's medical record, but after looking closely, the patient's name was filled in with his own name, the doctor in charge. His signature is Luo Jie, his attending doctor, which is actually another of his medical records.
Realizing that this was his own medical record, Cheng Zhichu was a little confused, why did Xie Yuanhuai's name appear in his medical record, and what was his relationship with this person
So he looked at the medical records from the beginning.
[Description of the condition:
Three months after the patient's treatment, new changes appeared in his condition.
In the early days of hospitalization, when the patient's illness flares up, he will identify a certain object as his lover or with him in some kind of intimate relationship. This object is not fixed, it may be any handsome male.
But recently, a fixed image has appeared in the patient's fantasies, the name is Xie Yuanhuai.
After investigation, Xie Yuanhuai was a real person who once existed. He was a patient in the hospital with congenital heart disease. He died after the rescue was ineffective. To this day, the family still refused to accept the fact that he had died. in the hospital mortuary.
A nurse who took care of the patient also took care of Xie Yuanhuai. It is suspected that she told the patient about Xie Yuanhuai's deeds, so the patient made up the image of Xie Yuanhuai and used it as a fixed fantasy object.
The nurse has been told to stop telling the patient about Xie Yuanhuai's deeds, and the patient is advised to try not to respond to this image, which will help his condition be controlled. 】
"… "
In a trance, Cheng Zhichu saw some kind of illusory image again, sitting on the hospital bed as a teenager. Dr. Luo came to his ward and patiently asked him some questions.
"Zhichu, I'm very interested in your 'new friend'."
Dr. Luo looked at the young man with very gentle eyes, like a kind elder, and said warmly, "Can you tell me something about him?"
"Okay, Doctor Luo."
The slender young man was wearing a large hospital gown, revealing slender and white wrists, hanging from the edge of the hospital bed and swaying back and forth, supporting the edge of the bed with both hands, leaning forward slightly, and his light-colored pupils slightly. Bending up, a faint sunlight reflected in the bottom of his eyes, like a clean and transparent glass stone.
"Brother Yuanhuai is a very good person... He is very good-looking. Although he doesn't like to laugh, he looks very charming when he smiles, and he takes care of me very much. I like him very much."
"He's a little withdrawn, always alone and alone. He doesn't seem to have any other friends besides me. He doesn't seem to like socializing with people."
"When I first met him, he also told me not to get close to him. I chatted with him, and he rarely responded to me. At that time, I was quite hit."
"But I really wanted to make friends with him, so I kept pestering him. Brother Yuanhuai is a very gentle person. He couldn't bear to see me sad, so he became friends with me, and later..."
Speaking of this, the young man suddenly blushed, bowed his head and pinched the corner of his clothes, a little hesitant.
Dr. Luo already knew the general situation, so he didn't ask any more questions when he saw it. He raised his hand to touch the boy's hair, and said with a smile, "I see. You have a good rest first, and I'll come to see you at another time."
"Um!"
The young man nodded obediently.
After Dr. Luo left, the teenager sat alone in the empty ward for a while, and suddenly heard the door open with a creak. He raised his head and saw who was coming. Suddenly, his eyes lit up and he jumped down. The bed greeted him and shouted excitedly.
"Brother Yuanhuai!"
…
"What's written on it?"
Meng Ke saw that Cheng Zhichu had been holding the medical record book in a daze, and he stretched out a finger uneasily and poked his arm lightly.
"what… "
Cheng Zhichu just woke up from the hallucination like a dream, and explained to Meng Ke, "This is another medical record of mine. After saying that I suffer from delusional disorder, I imagined an image of Xie Yuanhuai..."
In the morgue before, he had mentioned Xie Yuanhuai to the two sisters and Ji Yunxiao, so Meng Ke also knew that Xie Yuanhuai was indeed there, and his eyes widened slightly when he heard this.
"I guess," Cheng Zhichu put away the medical records, "I met Xie Yuanhuai's ghost at that time and had some connection with him, but the doctor thought he was just a person I imagined, but he didn't actually exist. Later... "
"Tack, tick, tick..."
The sound of something falling to the ground suddenly came from the silent corridor, which immediately attracted the attention of the two of them.
Cheng Zhichu looked back and saw a few glass beads bouncing on the smooth ground, then rolled to his feet, and stopped when they encountered resistance.
"Wow?"
The little bear lowered his head and glanced curiously, crawled out of his pocket, slid down Cheng Zhichu's calf to the ground, picked up one of the colorful glass beads, looked at it, and sniffed the smell again.
But it suddenly seemed to be greatly frightened, the hairs all over its body trembled, and it threw the glass beads far away with an "Ow" sound, hugged Cheng Zhichu's calf, and desperately buried it in the trousers, pretending that it didn't exist. He looked so frightened that he was trembling all over.
"Xiaochu..."
The ethereal call sounded again, this time it was close at hand, the man seemed to be right beside him, Cheng Zhichu's face changed slightly, suddenly stood up, took the bear back into his pocket with one hand, and pulled Meng Ke with the other. run away.
Meng Ke was a little dazed, she didn't hear anything, and she didn't know why Cheng Zhichu suddenly showed such a reaction, but she also knew that something must have happened, and she followed him without hesitation.
However, at this moment, Cheng Zhichu suddenly felt a strong dizziness, his body softened, and he fainted directly on the ground.
"Ah, Cheng Zhichu? Cheng Zhichu!"
Meng Ke was shocked, and pushed Cheng Zhichu, who had passed out unconscious, and the little bear also got out of his pocket, rubbed Cheng Zhichu's face desperately, and whimpered in a low voice.
But at this time, Cheng Zhichu could no longer hear their voices.
His consciousness was immersed in layers of hallucinations, unable to wake up.
…
"Tah, tah... tah tah..."
In the spacious and beautiful courtyard of the hospital, a teenager in a hospital gown was panting and chasing the glass beads rolling in front of him.
The ground had a slight slope, the glass beads rolled quickly, and the boy was wearing wide slippers, which made him unable to catch up with the glass beads.
Although the glass beads look ordinary, it seems that it is not worth the effort to chase them, but for the young man, these are the lucky beads given to him by the nurse sister, wishing him a speedy recovery. Special meaning, so he didn't want to lose it anyway.
"Clap."
The glass beads suddenly hit the bottom of the flower bed and stopped rolling.
The teenager hurriedly rushed over, squatted down, picked up the bead in distress, wiped the dust on it, and after confirming that it was not cracked, he let out a sigh of relief and carefully put it into his jacket pocket.
"Huh..."
He raised his hand to wipe off the thin sweat on his forehead casually, his delicate and lovely face had turned red, his lips were slightly parted, and he was breathing lightly.
After a while, he raised his head and was about to stand up, but suddenly found a figure standing silently beside the flower bed, but the boy didn't notice it just now.
"… "
The man was against the light, his face could not be seen clearly, his figure was slender and thin, wearing a pure white hospital uniform, his complexion was fair to faintly transparent, one hand brushed the flowers gently, bringing a breeze, his fingers were slender and slender, with distinct joints , as delicate and beautiful as white porcelain.
The boy was attracted by that hand, and suddenly became curious about the other person's appearance, raised his hand to cover the sunlight in front of him, squinted his eyes, stood up slowly, and finally saw the person in front of him clearly.
This is a young man with an excessively handsome face, even a bit beautiful and coquettish, but his expression is indifferent and indifferent, his eyes are like broken ice in the sea, cold and clear, exuding a cool and cold breath, it seems extremely difficult to approach.
His eyes swept across the boy, paused for a while, but there was no turbulence, as if the boy was also a scene in this courtyard, there was nothing special and could not attract his attention.
Seeing his face clearly, the young man just felt full of joy, and instantly gave birth to infinite attachment and admiration, wanting to get closer to each other and make him fall in love with him.
"Hello..." The boy subconsciously grabbed the man's shirt and asked shyly and excitedly, "Are you also a patient here?"
"… "
The handsome man's figure froze for a moment, his eyes stopped on the boy's hand grabbing the hem of his clothes, and after a moment of silence, he asked, "Can you see me, can you... touch me?"
"You're here, why can't I see it?"
The teenager was a little puzzled by his question, but on second thought, this good-looking eldest brother should also be a patient here. Maybe there is something special about his illness that makes him ask such a question, so it's not surprising.
This little question was thrown aside by the young man in a blink of an eye, and now his eyes are full of this man.
Although he also faintly realized that he might be sick again, he couldn't control himself and just wanted to get to know and get close to this big brother.
"My name is Cheng Zhichu," he happily introduced himself, "Where's Big Brother, what's your name?"
He was answered by a long silence.
"… "
The handsome and cold man lowered his beautiful eyes, watching the young man hold his hand, and a ripple appeared in his plain eyes.
His lips parted slightly, as if he wanted to say something, but in the end he gave up, slowly broke free from the boy's hand, and shook his head without saying a word, the meaning of rejection was self-evident.
The boy's body trembled, and he lowered his hand in despair, showing a very hurt look.
It was obvious that they had only just met, but the young man seemed to have been rejected by his beloved. His eyes were instantly red, and he sniffed lightly, and the tears were slowly flowing out.
"…Am I really annoying?"
With a choked voice, he wiped away tears, and turned his back to the man in a panic.
That's right, even his family doesn't like him. Except for the gentle Dr. Luo and the nurses and sisters, who else would like him
"I'm sorry, I'm leaving now, I'm just here to pick up things..."
"... Xie Yuanhuai."
Just when the boy wanted to escape from here, the man behind him suddenly said.
The young man turned his head in surprise, his red eyes were still dyed with tears, and he watched the other party walk in front of him with a dull look. He stretched out his long white jade fingers and gently wiped away his tears.
"Xie Yuanhuai, my name."
His voice was cold, but it seemed to contain warmth, he repeated.
…
Teenagers like to call Xie Yuanhuai "Brother Yuanhuai".
But every time he called Xie Yuanhuai like that, he found that the other party always showed a strange look.
"Don't you like me calling you that?" the boy asked him cautiously, "If you don't like it, I..."
"...It doesn't count. I just feel a little bit," Xie Yuanhuai paused and chose a more euphemistic wording, "Too close." He added, "But you are free, I have no opinion."
He heard it, in fact, brother Yuanhuai just felt very nauseous...
The young man touched the tip of his nose, but he didn't feel numb, but he liked the name very much. Brother Yuanhuai's name was very nice, so it was suitable for it.
He also mentioned to Xie Yuanhuai that he could be called Xiaochu, and some nurse sisters called him that way, but Xie Yuanhuai had never called him that way, and maybe he felt nauseous.
Why can't brother Yuanhuai get closer to him...
Even now, he didn't know the ward number of brother Yuan Huai's, and he never went to visit him. Basically, he only met here in the flower bed.
Thinking of this, the young man couldn't help but feel a little lost. He could feel that Xie Yuanhuai's temperament was a little cold, and he didn't speak much. Sometimes he said ten sentences, but Xie Yuanhuai would not necessarily reply.
Although Xie Yuanhuai once said that most of the cases when he didn't answer were when other people were present, if the teenager kept communicating with him, he would be considered a very strange person.
The young man didn't understand why Xie Yuanhuai said this, but he didn't care, he just answered Xie Yuanhuai with a smile: "It doesn't matter, others have long thought I was strange."
As he said that, he lowered his head and grabbed the corner of his clothes, his voice becoming weaker: "I have been ill, and even my parents thought I was strange, so it really doesn't matter..."
"You're not surprised."
Xie Yuanhuai suddenly raised his jaw, his indifferent gaze was very solemn at the moment, and he said to him word by word.
"You're not weird, you're special."
"You are a special child."
"The world is unique, and the only one is you, Cheng Zhichu."
…
Recalling what Xie Yuanhuai said at that time, the young man was suddenly a little shy, but he couldn't help snickering. He buried his face in his arms, revealing only those cat-like eyes, and secretly looked at Xie Yuanhuai beside him.
They were still beside the flower bed where they first met. The teenager curled up his legs and hugged his knees on one side of the bench. Xie Yuanhuai sat on the other side and looked at the blooming flowers in the distance. The charm of eyes.
Brother Yuanhuai praised him for being special, but in fact, he was the most special person.
He really likes Brother Yuanhuai very much...
The young man's eyes looking at Xie Yuanhuai gradually became dazed, his heart skipped a beat, and he suddenly desperately longed for Xie Yuanhuai's touch, hug, even kiss and love.
"Brother Yuanhuai..."
He murmured softly, put his legs off the bench, and slowly leaned towards Xie Yuanhuai.
Hearing his voice, Xie Yuanhuai turned back, but suddenly saw the young man come forward, his eyes soft and attached, and his soft lips gently pressed against his face.
Xie Yuanhuai opened his eyes slightly, his usual dull expression finally changed, showing a bit of surprise.
For a time, he was stunned, and even forgot to avoid it. The young man thought he didn't hate this kiss, and was instantly overjoyed, his cheeks flushed brightly, and he spoke nervously and shyly.
"I like you, brother Yuanhuai..."
It's just that my brother is so cold, even his face is so cold... Is his body temperature so low
Just when the boy was worried about Xie Yuanhuai's body and waiting for his answer, Xie Yuanhuai seemed to have just woken up, his expression changed slightly, he gently pushed the boy away, shook his head, and said in a low voice.
"...don't do that."
All the expressions on the boy's face froze at once.
Seeing his reaction like this, Xie Yuanhuai felt a little pain in his heart, and was about to say something, but the young man showed a very flustered expression and wanted to cry.
"I'm sorry, brother Yuanhuai, I must have annoyed you..."
"Do you think it's disgusting? You're actually liked by me... In fact, it's because of this that my family thinks I'm weird."
He twitched the corners of his mouth reluctantly, and it was extremely difficult to say every word.
"I just like men."
"sorry… "
After saying this, he didn't look at Xie Yuanhuai's reaction again, fled the courtyard in an extremely embarrassed way, and went back to his ward to cover his head with a quilt and cried for a long time.
He thought that Xie Yuanhuai would definitely hate himself when he learned his true face.
On this day, he was sitting by the window, gloomily looking at the scenery outside the window, but suddenly he heard the sound of the door being opened. He thought it was the nurse sister who came to chat with him, but there was a little joy on his face. He turned his head, but when he saw the person coming, his expression froze.
"Long time no see, Cheng Zhichu, it looks like you're having a good time."
Several teenagers about his age walked into the ward. The young man at the head was handsome, with a frivolous and playful smile. He sat on the edge of the hospital bed with his legs crossed, watching the boy shrink into the hospital bed with great interest.
"Why are you here..."
The boy was trembling all over and his face was pale. These people were his classmates and those who bullied him on campus.
Especially Qiao Yue sitting next to him, because he is the young master of a wealthy family, he fights fiercely, and is the leader of these people. Ever since he learned about his sexual orientation, Qiao Yue has always insulted him wantonly and made him suffer. The whole school was ridiculed.
He thought that he would be able to get rid of these demons by staying in the hospital and dropping out of school, but he never dreamed that Qiao Yue and the others even came to the door.
The boy was so frightened that he wanted to scream, attracting people outside, but Qiao Yue suddenly covered his mouth, pushed him down on the bed, and pressed his whole body on top of him, raising one corner of his lips, Smile evilly and fiercely.
"What do you mean when you leave school? You don't even know, I'm bored when you're not in school."
"So I asked the teacher to come to your hospital address and come to see you, but I didn't expect you to live in the psychiatry department. It's a good match for you, little lunatic."
Qiao Yue gave a low laugh, motioned to the other people to put down the piles of gifts, and let them all go out.
Because his attention was not all on the boy, the boy suddenly struggled desperately, bit him hard, and was about to escape from the bed.
"Hey... dare to bite me? I think you are really crazy!"
Qiao Yue's face suddenly darkened, and he pushed the boy back again roughly with his movements. The boy struggled desperately with red eyes, but his strength was like a kitten compared to Qiao Yue's, and he was powerless to fight back.
Being so fiercely resisted by the young man, even biting him, Qiao Yue was going crazy, no one ever dared to hurt him, this little bastard has not been at school for a while, but his courage has become so fat, he really needs to be cleaned up .
He raised his hand and was about to slap him down, but when he saw the appearance of the young man under him, his movements suddenly froze, and he couldn't let go.
The boy curled up under him, his eyes were wet, his eyes were extremely frightened, and his delicate face was extremely pale. Due to the intense struggle, his hospital gown was already in a mess, with a few buttons ripped off, revealing snow-white shoulders and slender waist, with bright red marks on the waist.
Oh shit…
Qiao Yue uttered a foul language in his heart, but the anger still dissipated most of the shameful moment, and he withdrew his hand in annoyance and slump.
In fact, he really came to see Cheng Zhichu, otherwise the idiot would bring so many gifts, but he couldn't save his face, so he showed a very bad attitude, and he was so confused that he almost really wanted to beat this little bastard. .
In fact, he had never beaten Cheng Zhichu before, but this idiot still claimed that he was violent in school every day. Fuck, he was just teasing him. If it was really violent, he would have been beaten to the point where he couldn't take care of himself. How could he stay? He has become so bold now that he dares to bite...
Thinking of this, Qiao Yue gave the boy a vicious look, but seeing the boy's exposed skin and the pitiful and lovely appearance of crying, his eyes gradually changed, and his throat was also a little thirsty.
"Cheng Zhichu..."
He licked his lips, held the boy's two wrists, raised him above the boy's head, and pressed him on the bed, his eyes were hot, and his breathing became a little short.
However, at this moment, a light sound suddenly came from the ceiling, and with a bang, the lamp tube fell down and hit Qiao Yue's body. The fragments flew and plunged deep into his flesh.
…
"Fortunately you weren't hurt."
The nurse stroked the boy's tear-stained face, thinking of the blood-riddled Qiao Yue who had fallen to the ground in agony when she came in just now, and the boy's frightened appearance. So miraculous, the other person was hurt so badly, but the young man had no scars at all.
"It must be a bad reward. That bastard bullied you in the past, and now he is finally punished..."
She said something in a low voice, feeling a little happy in her heart.
Before, they all thought that Qiao Yue and his group were friends of Zhichu, so they happily let them in. How could they know that this handsome young man was the culprit who bullied Zhichu—he didn’t understand at all, verbal violence often To cause more serious harm, it is more intense pain than physical pain.
As for how the hospital should compensate Qiao Yue, it was the director's headache, and it had nothing to do with her little nurse.
"You must be frightened, then take a good rest, I won't disturb you..."
After the examination, the boy was indeed uninjured, and tomorrow, after Dr. Luo goes to work, he will confirm whether the boy's mental condition is still stable. The nurse once again cursed Qiao Yue in her heart, then left the ward and closed the door gently.
The teenager has changed into a new hospital gown, curled up tiredly at the head of the bed, drowsy, but a little scared.
Just when he was half asleep, he suddenly felt a cold air blowing, which made him wake up suddenly, and opened his eyes in confusion.
So in the dim vision, he saw a handsome and cold man standing at the head of his bed, his eyelashes drooping, looking at him indifferently.
"Brother Yuanhuai? Why are you here?"
The teenager turned on the bedside lamp, and was surprised at first, but when he remembered what happened that day and Xie Yuanhuai's cold reaction, he was suddenly scared again, and subconsciously shrank to the bedside, for fear that Xie Yuanhuai would show an expression of disgust.
"…Why didn't you come to me?"
After a long silence, Xie Yuanhuai suddenly spoke.
"...?" The boy showed a confused expression.
"Why... are you still avoiding me now?"
Xie Yuanhuai raised his head abruptly, his expression no longer as indifferent as before, his handsome face revealed a hint of anger, but more of it was injury and loss.
"The day you said you liked me, and then you left me casually, you... Have you ever considered my feelings?"
"..." The boy opened his mouth and didn't understand why Xie Yuanhuai was angry. He disappeared because he considered Xie Yuanhuai's feelings...
"Brother Yuanhuai, don't you hate me?"
After thinking for a long time, the young man thought about it, and suddenly realized that Xie Yuanhuai's words seemed to be what he meant, but he was not sure, so he shrank his shoulders, and asked aiaily.
"How could you think I would hate you..."
Xie Yuanhuai said softly and sat by the bed. This time the boy did not hide from him. He was able to approach the boy smoothly and gently held the boy's face.
"At that time I just thought, I am not qualified to approach you, you have a bright future, but I... "
have nothing left.
His fingers were as cold as ice, causing the boy to shudder and feel a little chilly on his body.
But even after seeing his reaction, Xie Yuanhuai didn't let go. Instead, he got closer and kissed the corner of his lips gently.
In fact, as early as the first time he first met, he had already deeply fallen in love with the boy.
It was love at first sight, or some kind of infatuation for no reason at all, it didn't matter at all - his existence was only felt and touched by the young man, so all of him belonged to the young man.
Originally, he was satisfied with this. As he said just now, he was not qualified to have a teenager, so he thought that as long as he could stay by his side, he would be satisfied.
But when he waited in the courtyard for a whole day, but did not wait for the boy, his heart suddenly cracked, dark, twisted and greedy, calling out his desire, whispering to him—
"Stop being so hypocritical."
"You just want him."
"Longing for his love, longing for his eyes to be on you alone."
"No one, no one can take him away from you."
"He's yours alone."
... Yes, his first knowledge, his small beginning, can only be owned by him alone, and can only be owned by him.
Xie Yuanhuai lightly kissed the corner of the boy's lips, and gradually exerted his strength, wrapped his arms around the boy's waist, pressed him on the bed, and then embraced his soft lips with the utmost tenderness, and kissed him deeply.
The pupils, which were originally as clear and clean as ice, were now dark and depressed, like an untouchable abyss.
So when he came to the door of the ward and saw the boy pressing his little boy on the bed, at that moment he could no longer restrain the darkness in his heart, let the lamp fall down, and blood splashed everywhere.
-do not touch.
- Don't touch his little boy.
"Guy Xiaochu, don't pay attention to other people in the future, okay?"
Amidst the intense entanglement of lips and teeth, Xie Yuanhuai stepped back slightly, giving the boy who was almost unable to breathe a chance to breathe. He looked at the boy and couldn't help but kissed his eyebrows and said in a hoarse voice.
"It's enough that you have big brother Yuanhuai."
"Good, if your brother loves you, you won't need anyone else anymore."
+++
Bai Yi's Diary Part 28
When it comes to Zhichu, I always tend to go crazy.
I even thought that if there were no other people in this world, only me and Zhichu were left, it would be the most perfect world.
But after my soul was broken, I never thought about it again.
What is perfect? That is simply the worst of the world.