Early in the morning, the sun is shining.
The chirping of cicadas in midsummer is interspersed among the lush green shadows, and the viaducts crossing the tall buildings are bustling with traffic. Everything seems to be so prosperous.
The sunlight hit the glass warmly and full of vitality, and the clean window reflected a thin figure sitting in a wheelchair.
The blue and white striped hospital gown was a little faded and pilled, and under the sleeves were the backs of her hands, which were rough and swollen from long-term injections. It seemed out of place with everything around her.
Yet it doesn't seem so out of place.
Lu Shizhen has lived in this world for more than twenty years.
From the moment she was born, the world wanted to drive her out with disease as if it was a rejection reaction, but she was not driven out. She lived to adulthood and found her own value in this world.
This is the third day since Lu Shizhen woke up from her postoperative coma, and she no longer needs intravenous drips.
The two arms resting on the wheelchair armrests were folded together, and the wet palms gently stroked the rough and purple hands tortured by medical tape.
She thought that as long as she maintained herself well, her hand would be back to normal in a few days.
Then she will be able to pick up her paintbrush and continue doing what she wants to do.
But…
Lu Shizhen's gaze slowly moved from the back of her hand to the window, watching the sparrow fly across the sky to a distance beyond her sight.
She suddenly longed to be outside, a longing she had never felt before.
She didn't know where this yearning and unwillingness came from. She had clearly accepted the fact that she would never be able to stand up on her own feet in this life since she was very young.
It is a great success that her legs are in good condition and have not atrophied or deformed. Why does she still want to stand up
Over the years, whether Lu Shizhen was in the hospital or occasionally out and about, people's first impression of her was that she was optimistic and positive.
She is indeed optimistic and has a better attitude than many normal people, but this does not hinder her sensitivity.
She could hear the subtle sounds of the wheelchair axles moving, and could feel the changes in her mentality.
This unwillingness was not some illusory envy, but rather she seemed to have really experienced the feeling of standing up and had legs that could move freely, so she felt uncomfortable after losing them.
Lu Shizhen looked at the vibrant world outside the window with a dim gaze.
She felt as if something was missing after she woke up, a small but deep hole, as if there was a hole in her heart that went straight through her body.
What filled it was not only her unwillingness and desire to stand up.
There is also unpleasant jealousy.
Jealousy towards Shen Yanxing hugging Xu Shiyue.
That kind of jealousy didn't just flash by, it seemed to have been buried in her body for a long time.
But no matter how long she has been buried, the other person is just a paper figure, no matter how beautiful she is, she is just a paper figure.
Even if Xu Shiyue was her solo pusher before, she wouldn't be like this...
Will humans fall in love with paper people
In other words, would a human fall in love with a paper figure and develop a possessive desire towards her
Lu Shizhen touched the phone in his pocket, hesitating about posting on Baidu to ask.
But she typed a whole line of words slowly, and deleted it quickly before she could search.
It is said that the Internet is a good place for communication and brainstorming because no one knows each other, but Lu Shizhen inexplicably did not want to tell this matter to strangers he had never met before.
As I was hesitating, a message from my best friend popped up on the message board: [Shi Liu, why do I see that you haven't received my files in these few days? What's wrong? Do you dislike me? Or is the comics company urging you to submit your manuscript? Are you rushing to finish it? ]
[I said that if you are in a rush to finish a manuscript, you can put it aside for a while. You are just fine. Don’t tire yourself out. Your health is important. Pomegranate, mom wants you to live longer. Mom also wants to eat the food you produce qaq]
The gay friend was really worried about Lu Shizhen's health and would urge her to go to bed early every day.
Lu Shizhen looked at her frivolous words with a look of disgust, but she had to say that she felt much more relaxed, and the sound of her fingers tapping on the screen was crisper than before: [I'm not rushing to finish my manuscript, I just quit.]
[Huh? Quit? So quickly? Quit just like that? ] Between the lines, all the friends were shocked.
Lu Shizhen was relatively calm and replied: [Yeah.]
The friend couldn't believe Lu Shizhen's sudden decision and asked: "Why? I gave you too much food, are you full and don't want to eat anymore?"
[No.] Lu Shizhen said, [It’s just…]
At this point, Lu Shizhen's finger hovering above the screen paused.
As if she was stuck, after a while she answered vaguely and hesitantly: [I feel it’s boring.]
[Wow wow wow.] The friend sadly sent a sad frog emoticon to Lu Shizhen, [If Xu Shiyue knew that she had lost such an important person as you, she would definitely be sad.]
The conversation interface with the name "Xu Shiyue" was silent for a long time, and Lu Shizhen paused for a long time looking at the last sentence.
It was strange that after feeling jealous, Lu Shizhen felt sad and even distressed because of Xu Shiyue.
She actually felt heartbroken by these words.
It was as if what her friend said really happened, and she didn’t want to make Xu Shiyue sad…
Suddenly, Lu Shizhen felt as if her world had stopped.
The surroundings were quiet; the chirping of cicadas and the flying of birds all disappeared in front of the window. She stared at the clock above her head in a daze; the second hand stopped at 12 and didn't move until a long time later.
“Squeak—”
At the same time, the sound of cicadas chirped again in the quiet room. Sparrows flapped their wings and flew across the sunlight in front of the window, dazzling Lu Shizhen's eyes.
The second hand also returns to normal.
Lu Shizhen blinked and stared at the clock for a long time.
She wondered if she was a little crazy, and her finger that was hovering above the input box finally fell down, and she carefully shared her thoughts with her gay friend: [It’s not that it’s boring, I just suddenly don’t like Shen Yanxing anymore, and I don’t like her being with Xu Shiyue. ]
Then she half-jokingly but very seriously said, "I'm wondering if I've damaged my brain due to oversleeping. How about I go get a brain CT scan someday?"
Lu Shizhen didn't expect to receive a message from her best friend immediately. After all, fifteen minutes had passed since their last conversation.
[If you feel like you have lost it, just look closely and you will eventually see it. ]
These two sentences in a row seemed to be a serious answer to the confusion Lu Shizhen had just expressed, but they also sounded incoherent.
Lu Shizhen frowned, thinking that his friend's words were mysterious and familiar, but not that kind of familiar.
Lu Shizhen was still frowning here, and then another message popped up on the screen: [Or, eat more apples. ]
Suddenly, Lu Shizhen smiled.
Okay, I knew this guy couldn't be serious for more than two seconds.
It was a waste of her time thinking so seriously just now, it turned out that she was suffering from the second year syndrome.
But after being reminded by this sentence just now, Lu Shizhen really wanted to eat an apple.
She likes to eat apples. There are always fresh apples available in the ward. She can just pick one from the cabinet while pushing her wheelchair.
The apple was round and red. Lu Shizhen held it in his hand, weighed it, threw it up as usual, and then caught it.
Toss it, catch it, toss it...
“Boom.”
Suddenly, Lu Shizhen failed.
The round apple hit the tile floor with a thud and rolled to the side of the ward.
Lu Shizhen pushed the wheelchair towards the apple and finally caught up with it when it stopped in front of the wall.
She bent down and picked up the apple without much effort.
Then she raised her head and put her toes against the wall. A large area of white came into her sight, and she was almost close to the wall.
It's a very strange feeling.
"If you feel like you've lost it, just look carefully and you'll always see it."
The words that his gay friend had just said suddenly appeared in Lu Shizhen's ears, and his dark eyes stared at the wall in front of him for some unknown reason.
The sunlight slanted in, and the anti-theft window outside the window divided the full light into strips, which fell on the wall.
It's like a door.
Lu Shizhen's eyes were stunned again and again, and he subconsciously stretched out his arm on the wheelchair towards the shadow.
There was a door handle pressed into her palm, it was small, probably designed for children.
Flocks of pigeons made cooing sounds like radio waves, crossing the sky from far to near.
Lu Shizhen moved her wrist slightly, as if twisting the handle in her palm, and suddenly mysterious memories flooded into her.
The sound of the apples rolling echoed in the long corridor. There was no light here, and the empty darkness spread along the sound of the apples.
Little Lu Shizhen didn't know where this place came from. When she noticed it, a black door frame had suddenly appeared on the wall.
If her apple hadn't rolled over, she wouldn't even have come close to take a look.
After experiencing so many life and death situations, Lu Shizhen had long been numb to some things, but this kind of darkness really made her a little scared.
And at this moment, the sound of the apple rolling suddenly stopped.
The endless darkness suddenly ended, and a rectangular light lit up at the end of the corridor. It was square and looked like a window opened in the darkness.
Little Lu Shizhen tightened his hands on the wheelchair.
She saw a hand about the same size as her appear in front of the light, and the apple she had stopped on was picked up by that hand.
Little Lu Shizhen was very alert and said to the figure holding his apple from a distance: "Give me back my apple."
A child's voice is green and naive, and no matter how serious it is, it still has a childish feel.
The figure in the distance was not frightened at all when he heard what Xiao Lu Shizhen said, and just walked towards Xiao Lu Shizhen with the apple in his hand.
The light dimly illuminated the dark corridor as she walked.
She was a little girl wearing a blue and white striped hospital gown. She had soft hair hanging down on her shoulders, which was jet black and well-behaved. Her eyes were black and bright, as beautiful as gems.
Little Lu Shizhen has been hospitalized for many years and knows almost every little patient hospitalized in the pediatric department.
She thought that if there really was such a little patient, she would definitely remember her, but she had never seen this little girl in the hospital.
Because he was not sure what kind of person this was, Lu Shizhen's eyes were full of vigilance. He almost snatched the apple that the little girl returned, and thanked her in an extremely hasty manner: "Thank you."
"You're welcome." The little girl said calmly, not showing any displeasure at Lu Shizhen's rudeness.
Maybe it was because the little girl's voice was too calm and steady, but Lu Shizhen always felt that she didn't look sick.
Even though the little girl had just returned her lost apple, little Lu Shizhen was still on guard, acting like a little adult, and asked in a bad tone: "Why, why are you wearing a sick uniform too? Are you sick?"
The little girl still nodded calmly.
She pointed her finger at her chest, then pulled the already loose bandage open a little, revealing a large piece of gauze and the wires connected to the monitoring equipment.
Little Lu Shizhen was stunned for a moment, and his eyes, which had been full of vigilance just now, blinked again and again.
She had never regretted anything as much as she did today, and was immediately annoyed by her rude hostility towards the little girl.
The apple that was returned to her was weighed down in little Lu Shizhen's hand. She touched the apple in her hand and asked the little girl more seriously and kindly: "Well, thank you for returning the apple to me. My name is Lu Shizhen, what's your name?"
"Xu Shiyue." The little girl said, "Xu means allowed, Shi means picked up, Yue means moon."
(End of this chapter)