I Used to Be Alone Until I Meet You

Chapter 10: If this is not love

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Loving someone is easy, just one second of heartbeat is enough.

It is quite difficult to think through the philosophical question "Should I like it?" It may take days, weeks, or even longer.

However, the real hard part is turning likes into dislikes. That could take a long, long time, even a lifetime.

When I found that I was attracted to classmate Xiao Cheng, who just turned 19, and I clearly realized that it was a mistake, I always wanted to ignore this love, and I always wanted to get rid of this doomed secret love, but every time When I thought I could do it, he would always appear out of nowhere, making me a girlish heart, with nowhere to put it...

One day, when I was bored and swiping the screen, Xiao Cheng sent a text message:

Xiaocheng classmate:

I returned:

Xiaocheng classmate:

I returned:

Xiaocheng classmate:

I ask:

Xiaocheng classmate:

I ask:

Xiaocheng classmate:

It was clearly an easy-to-understand sentence. I looked at the screen of my mobile phone and read every word for countless times, but my eyes were sore when I read it, but I still couldn't understand it.

One day when I was bored reading a novel, classmate Xiao Cheng used QQ to harass me.

Xiaocheng classmate:

Heart:

Xiaocheng classmate:

Heart:

Xiaocheng classmate:

The next day, after I finished reading "The Legend of Wukong", I was even more bored and decided to harass him:

Heart:

Xiaocheng classmate:

Heart:

Xiaocheng classmate:

Heart:

Xiaocheng classmate:

Heart:

Xiaocheng classmate:

Heart:

At that moment, I really wanted to cry, because I suddenly realized that he has a very mature and soft heart, and he will read my favorite novels.

My heart, which had been dormant for many days, began to stir again.

At this time, Xiao Cheng's message was displayed on the screen:

I:

Xiaocheng classmate:

Seeing this sentence, I will not return a bit.

He seems to be really attentive to me, and always loves to tease me when I have something to do. Shouldn't he... He wants to have some adultery with me... feelings, right

But if you think about it carefully, it doesn't look like it. If he has this intention, then he should find every opportunity to approach me, and even if he does not confess, he should show strong enthusiasm.

And I have known him for more than three years, and he is always at ease with me. Sometimes, he chats with me a few times on the Internet, every word poking at the tip of my heart; sometimes he ignores me for a few days, as if he has forgotten my existence; Sometimes, when I need his help with something, he shows up immediately; sometimes, when we meet in the classroom, he just nods indifferently and passes me by without saying a word of nonsense.

After some very rational thinking, I attributed Xiao Cheng's "harassment" to the fact that he was very bored recently, taking me to pass the time, plus "love the house and Wu"!

Another day, I suddenly remembered the purpose of my coming to T University - to find a good man to marry.

For the more than 20 kilograms of weight I lost, I must not let myself down, so I decided that I would find a good man.

According to Feifei: The Internet cafe near T University is a place where single loyal dogs gather. Many boys who are tired from playing games will take time to find out if there are any girls who are pleasing to the eye.

If there is, they will take a peek at the girl's QQ number and send a friend request. The verification message is usually:

This is how Feifei found her boyfriend.

That night, I dressed myself up and went to the Internet cafe opposite Z's apartment.

With full of anticipation, I wore the newly bought high heels and walked into the super large Internet cafe with the steps of a lady.

Looking around the thousands of handsome guys in front of me, I saw Xiao Cheng at a glance!

My footsteps were a mess, and my ankle nearly snapped.

I was gritting my teeth in pain when he raised his eyes, just in line with mine.

I smiled stiffly and waved my hand: "Hey! What a coincidence?"

He looked at me with a faint smile on his lips.

This girlish heart of mine has nowhere else to put it!

Biting the bullet, I found an unoccupied seat and sat down. As soon as I logged in to QQ, Xiao Cheng's avatar kept flashing on my computer.

Xiaocheng classmate:

Heart:

Xiaocheng classmate:

I lost my mind and sent a message to the past:

Classmate Xiao Cheng didn't reply for a long time. I glanced at his seat quietly, and unexpectedly found that he was looking at me thoughtfully.

I was caught by an adult like a kid stealing candy, and I typed in a panic:

Without waiting for his reply, I quickly changed the subject:

That night, I played cards with him all night. I was very happy. I completely forgot the purpose of going to the Internet cafe. Even the boy sitting next to me frequently took the initiative to tell me what cards to play, but I didn't even remember it. .

Those chicken hearts that my mother gave me are really for nothing!

Another night, I was bored in my bedroom surfing the Internet, chatting, and playing cards.

Zhuozhuo asked me, "Xinxin, do you have a screwdriver? The sewer in our bathroom is blocked."

Out of my love for classmate Xiao Cheng (pure harassment), I sent him a QQ message:

After a few seconds, he replied:

I despise him sourly:

He sent a color | color expression:

Before I could think of words to express my disdain, there was a knock on the door.

I opened the door and saw Xiao Cheng standing outside the door with a set of screwdrivers of different sizes in his hands. He must have just taken a shower, and his hair was still dripping with water droplets, and his clothes smelled of body wash... I His heart beat suddenly.

In fact, he is not a particularly handsome boy, but he is definitely a boy who makes people look comfortable. At least I look comfortable and feel comfortable wherever I look!

"Thank you!" I deliberately stepped aside so that he could see Zhuo Zhuo clearly, so it was a worthwhile trip.

However, his eyes were always on me: "Do you need my help?"

"Very needed!" I quietly gave him a thumbs up, Ruzi can teach, "Come in."

It turns out that people can't be perfect.

Classmate Xiao Cheng spent nineteen years developing his IQ, but he forgot to develop his hands.

He fought with the sewers sweating like rain for half an hour, but to no avail.

I stood behind him and watched silently for half an hour, and finally I couldn't stand it any longer: "Forget it, I'll come. You go in for a glass of water and chat with Zhuo Zhuo."

He washed his hands and said, "Wait, I'll find someone else to fix it."

Ten minutes later, the janitor of the apartment came slowly and fixed our sewers.

After the uncle left, I asked classmate Xiao Cheng: "This uncle is notoriously ruthless, why did you invite him?"

He replied: "In China, there is nothing that is absolutely impossible, only what you don't insist on doing."

It is rare for him to have such inspirational remarks. I asked curiously, "Then how did you insist on it? Wouldn't you be holding his thigh and begging him?"

"Two packs of cigarettes."

I gave him another thumbs up: "Handsome guy, you must have a future in the future!"

"thanks!"

Considering that Xiao Cheng sacrificed two packs of cigarettes in exchange for the opportunity to perform his meritorious service, of course I want to help him carry forward the opportunity.

"Come in for a glass of water." I invited him.

He glanced at Zhuo Zhuo who was on the phone and hesitated.

"Come in." I reached out and handed him the water I just poured, pointing to my chair.

He sat in a chair and drank silently;

I stood behind him and watched him silently.

I like to look at his back the most, because from the angle he can't see, I dare to stare at him recklessly...

Zhuo Zhuo's call ended.

Classmate Xiao Cheng just finished drinking water.

I found myself standing among them, especially radiant!

I was thinking about what excuse to find an excuse to avoid when my cell phone rang. It was from my fellow villager.

The fellow said on the phone, "Ning Xin, I found the second-level computer test questions you want. I'll send them to you now. Is it convenient?"

"Convenient, convenient." I deeply felt that this fellow comrade was simply an angel with wings, dedicated to saving my soul that was about to fall into hell.

"Are you in the bedroom?"

"In, uh, I'll wait for you downstairs in the apartment."

"Okay!"

I hung up the phone and rushed out the door immediately, picking up my shoes as I went out, and couldn't wait to escape.

Running to the elevator, I suddenly remembered something, I haven't said goodbye to classmate Xiao Cheng yet.

After thinking about it, there is no need for this at all. He didn't come to see me anyway.

That night, my fellow classmates not only gave me the second-level questions, but also gave me a big surprise, or a fright - a bouquet of roses and a confession.

"Ning Xin, I love you!"

I stared blankly at the rose, and then at the nervous fellow.

I think, if my mind at that time was not filled with "a pair of very quiet eyes", filling up not even a single gap, I would probably have a fever and accepted this sincere feeling.

However, after forcing myself for a long time, I still only said one sentence: "I'm sorry!"

He was a little disappointed, but quickly adjusted his mood and asked me: "Then can I chase you?"

It was a question that I would not have answered at the time: "What if I said 'no'?"

"I'll still follow."

"Then why are you asking me?"

He thought about it carefully, and seemed to find that the question was not logical, so he smiled and scratched his head: "Then let me inform you. You don't even know if I chase you."

I sweat: "Am I that stupid!"

After a long time, when I knew that someone had chased me, I understood a very profound truth: people, there will always be times when you don't know yourself.

Unconsciously raising my head, I looked at the bedroom window, the curtains were tightly closed, and I couldn't see anyone inside at all.

I don't know what Zhuo Zhuo and Cheng Ze will do or say, and I don't want to know. So, I sat down by the flower bed in front of the apartment and looked at the stars leisurely.

The fellows also sat down and put the roses among us.

I clearly remember that it was extremely cold that day. I only wore a sweater and sat on the bench in front of the apartment for two hours. The night wind burrowed into my bones through the sweater, and I was so cold that my teeth were fighting.

The fellow told me a lot, but I didn’t have the heart to listen. I just regretted in my heart that I didn’t bring a thick coat when I just ran out of the dormitory.

In the shadow of the moon, a familiar figure appeared inside the glass door of the apartment, and I instantly forgot the cold.

I watched closely, watched Cheng Ze walk out of the door, and watched him wearing only a thin dark blue coat with the placket dancing in the wind.

He also saw me, he paused in his footsteps, and looked at the roses beside me.

I waved to him with a smile, and greeted him cheerfully: "Hey! Are you still going out so late?"

He nodded at me, took a deep look at the sweater on my body, and wanted to say something, but when he saw the fellow beside me, he didn't say anything.

His back figure disappeared little by little in the dark night, and I couldn't see it again. I withdrew my sour eyes and stood up stiffly.

"I can go back." I will freeze to death if I don't go back!

The fellow hurriedly picked up the rose and handed it to me, I shook my head.

The fellow said, "If you don't like it, throw it away. If I take it back to the dormitory, my roommates will laugh at it."

I thought about it and it made sense, so I went upstairs with the roses in my arms.

When I returned to the dormitory, Zhuo Zhuo had washed up and was lying on the bed listening to music, ready to fall asleep.

She saw me coming in with roses and sat up in surprise: "Your fellow has confessed to you? Have you accepted him?"

The air-conditioning all over made me shiver. I shook my lips and said, "No. He's fine, but I don't like his type."

"Don't you like mature and steady boys? I think he is quite steady."

"It's not his maturity and stability."

"Which kind is that?"

Those quiet eyes flashed in my mind again, and I sighed: "I can't tell, it's not like him anyway."

"Oh… "

I put down the rose in my hand and asked Zhuo Zhuo, "When did Xiao Cheng leave?"

"As soon as you left, he left." Zhuo Zhuo smiled embarrassedly, "Xinxin, you really don't need to create opportunities for us so deliberately in the future, making him quite embarrassed..."

embarrassment? What a chance, what could he be embarrassed about

"I'm not creating opportunities for you, I'm really doing something," I explained.

Zhuo Zhuo gave me a look of "I don't know you yet" and continued to listen to the song while lying on the bed.

Two nights later, I had no sleep, and played cards late into the night.

Xiao Cheng suddenly appeared and asked me:

I chatted with him casually while playing cards, and before I knew it, I talked about emotional issues. He asked me:

I edited a lot of answers, but sent this:

he ask me:

Xiao Cheng sent a contemptuous expression:

After the message was sent, I added:

Xiaocheng classmate:

Heart:

Xiaocheng classmate:

Without thinking about it, I quickly typed:

Seeing this answer, I couldn't help but smile. He is really too young to understand what love is, let alone what responsibility is, and only pays attention to his own feelings.

After thinking for a long time, I replied to him:

I waited a long time for his reply:

I didn't reply.

Holding the soft crayon Shin-chan, I read the lines of words on the computer screen over and over again.

Suddenly, from this academic dialogue on the concept of love, I vaguely read a hint of "sadistic love". The more I taste, the more like a boy is euphemistically expressing his hazy favor, but is ruthlessly rejected by the girl!

I read the chat log three times again, and the feeling became stronger and stronger.

Then, I remembered a lot of things, the first time I watched a movie, my classmate Xiao Cheng helped me to score points overnight, the careful care he took for me during that dinner, and the little brother Xiaoxin in my arms …

Then, I fell asleep! I was tossing and turning in bed, my head spinning.

When the chaos became unbearable, I picked up my phone and wanted to send him a message. I edit text messages on the fly:

Then, I changed the information to:

After thinking about it, I changed the information to:

Finally, I put the phone back and the edited text messages were all deleted.

The next day, I was still in a mess, and classmate Xiao Cheng didn't take the initiative to contact me.

A few days later, he never showed up again. I couldn't resist the urge to harass him, so I asked him on QQ: he didn't reply.

A few days later, I heard the shocking news, I felt like I fell from the cloud to the ground, and I was crushed to pieces. I finally realized in sadness: the cruelest thing in reality is not that you can never get what you want, but when you indulge in beautiful expectations, you find that everything is your daydream.

- Lesson 5 of "The Secret Book of Love" -

If you want to choose a good man, don't be superstitious at first glance, because your eyes are not X-rays, you can't see the essence through appearance at a glance. The essence of a person can only be understood through long-term interaction, understanding and communication.

So, from now on, try to meet more of the opposite sex. Even if it's just a casual chat, a casual dinner, watching a pure friendship movie, while giving them the opportunity, they also give themselves the opportunity to understand different men.