Xu Jiao still doesn't know Ye Zhen's plan.
But she had to quickly suppress those warm emotions in her heart—
Because according to Xu Hankai's habit, he will return home soon.
He is a very cautious man, secretly abusing Xu Jiao, making her condition worse, and also hooking up with women who are richer than Xu Jiao's mother outside. He must be very careful not to be discovered.
He doesn't have much patience for dealing with Xu Jiao, a sick child. It's not easy for him to serve a child who can hardly give feedback and is like a bomb that explodes anytime, anywhere. He also had to not be hurt by Xu Jiao's sudden illness, which was not an easy task.
Xu Jiao has always been reluctant to reminisce about her childhood, firstly because her mental state was not good at that time, and secondly because her childhood memory was incomplete, she only remembered that she deeply hated this home, this environment, and her Stepfather, the only impression is that when Ye Zhen came to her house by chance, he saw Xu Hankai's evil deeds, and the two had some disputes—
The result is.
Ye Zhen fell from the upstairs.
The clearest picture in my memory was the figure that I had never seen carefully before, disappearing into the window like the wind, that beautiful face just flashed, and Xu Jiao remembered it. When the window was wide open, the extremely beautiful sky outside, the spectacular scenery of burning clouds reflected in Xu Jiao's eyes, and was deeply branded on her retina.
When she reacted, Xu Hankai was taken away, and her mother hurriedly returned to her side, holding her in her arms and crying. At that moment, she seemed to hear voices from all over the world.
As if the hard and thick body covering the heart was knocked open, the world smiled at her slowly, and said to her, hello, welcome to the world.
But it was too late.
She could only stare blankly at the sky, motionless, without blinking, and before she even had time to really look at Ye Zhen, she had already lost the qualification to know each other forever.
Only the sky outside the window was magnificent, and she never saw it again for many years to come.
Because they were afraid that she would be more stimulated, everyone including her mother did not let her see Ye Zhen's appearance when she died. They covered her eyes and made Xu Jiao listen to that person with her ears. story:
"I said that the wife of the Xu family is definitely not suitable for such a tender-faced guy.
Shih, it's not a hairy mouth and can't do things well. In broad daylight, she hooked up with the twenty-year-old girl in the room next to her, who knows what happened..."
"This little Xu is also pitiful. He divorced his ex-husband at a young age, and has such a child. He finally thought that he had found a close friend. Who knows who knows the face but not the heart, tsk tsk tsk, I heard that this child was also there at the time. In the house, I don't know if I saw anything..."
"You can put some virtue in your mouth, Xiao Xu's family is already miserable enough."
"Hey, divorced women are like this, and they are indeed miserable..."
Those gossips were still fresh in Xu Jiao's memory for many years to come. Even in the Tongzilou after many years, no one remembered what happened to the murder case, and even when she bought the house, there were still neighbors. She smiled and said to her that living in this house is not auspicious, but it is much better than the next door. I heard that someone died a few years ago.
The residents in the bungalow came and went, and no one even remembered that Xu Jiao was the autistic daughter of the "poor Xiao Xu" they talked about with great interest back then.
Later, she saw that strangers no longer screamed or behaved strangely in crowded places. She just gained a habit of staring at the sky in a daze, and then learned to communicate with others through a layer of computer, expressing in words. own heart.
Until she slowly learned to use language to build her own world.
In her world, women with the same appearance as Ye Zhen appeared one after another as the protagonists. Xu Jiao used the only one-sided impression to outline them. She thought that what she wrote was just the shadow of Ye Zhen, but she never thought about that one. The word is also the expression of her soul. She poured her own story into it unconsciously, so the protagonists all had a terrifying and shadowy childhood like her, but they were kind like Ye Zhen, always willing to be in trouble for others. It is time to come out to rescue and be the light in the lives of others.
However, as she wrote, Xu Jiao realized that what she wrote was not Ye Zhen's re-enactment of a happy life, but the characters herself, the protagonists who had the same eyebrows as her benefactor, they were not her after all.
At first, Xu Jiao thought that she was lacking in writing skills, so she was writing and writing, and she was dissatisfied, abandoned the pit, unfinished, and wanted to write a more perfect story.
But as the storytelling ability she mastered became stronger, the more she realized that these protagonists had strange shadows on them, and it was those slightly different pasts that made the protagonists gradually break away from the original in the process of telling the story. the settings—
like in
Do it right with her.
Xu Jiao wants to give her benefactor a good enough story in her own kingdom.
But she couldn't even describe the appearance of her benefactor.
So the story failed again and again, and she didn't even want to give those copies a perfect ending. She deliberately changed the outline and went in a mess, causing herself to be posted on the website's forum again and again and being scolded by readers.
Only she doesn't care.
If it weren't for the emergence of the system, Xu Jiao didn't know how long she would continue in this countless cycle of failures.
It is true that she was unhappy when she first entered the system space, and she didn't want to know what kind of life these replicas lived, because those stories were already well-known in her heart, and she didn't want to see how she was over and over again. Failure.
until…
Xia Jingzhe surprised her a little.
Then there is Shen Yelan.
It seems that she is repeating the same mistakes that she was unable to control at the beginning, repeating it in her ears over and over again, wake up, your story is destined to be unsalvageable, because you have never read your characters carefully and seriously.
Xu Jiao was perplexed by Xia Jingzhe's death, and was scorched by Shen Yelan's fanatical feelings towards her. She saw her own shadow in Shen Yelan's body. Only then did she understand that no matter a creator is willing to Still unwilling, there will always be her shadow in the text. She is so paranoid about her benefactor, unilaterally referring to the other person as her inner spiritual support, the god she believes in, and the voice that awakens her, just because the benefactor once saved her—
So Shen Yelan, who was equally miserable, saw her benefactor who offered a helping hand, and fell in love with her madly and unscrupulously, just as she hid Ye Zhen's appearance in her heart back then.
Shen Yelan is her mirror.
It seems to indicate that she will never be able to get out of this childhood tragedy and shadow in her whole life, and even death is marked by her youth and cannot struggle.
She sympathized with Shen Yelan and herself.
And this time-
She met Feng Qingyu.
It was Feng Qingyu who told her how true love is. It is true that Feng Qingyu had a disdainful attitude towards her at first. When she first fell in love with her, because she was a legal wife, she followed a little bit of fire in her heart. Zhi Huo wanted to hook her up to make her wife a real wife, but in the end...
Feng Qingyu did not do that.
Sometimes people's good and evil are only between one thought.
Feng Qingyu chose to respect Xu Jiao in countless most crucial thoughts.
When she knew that Xu Jiao didn't love her, Feng Qingyu thought about fighting for her Can't get Xu Jiao's fact.
Xu Jiao understood from her what is love and what is respect.
She began to be uncontrollably attracted to the heroine she wrote, and truly took the initiative to accept the mortal world, letting the fireworks of the world dye her clothes, and truly distinguish Feng Qingyu from her former benefactor, she finally accepted. It is a fact that the heroines she created are not substitutes for anyone, they have already had their own souls from the moment they were born.
A soul that is not at the mercy of anyone.
Xu Jiao unconsciously applied this respectful attitude to Lilith in the next world. For the first time, she regarded the protagonist as her own child, just like the person who tried to teach her this, patiently and meticulously. , I sincerely want to give Lilith a different life, and I want to see her create her own story with her own hands.
Just a little accident.
Lilith also fell in love with her.
But at this time, Xu Jiao could no longer feel the heroine's pursuit of herself as indifferently as in Xia Jingzhe's world. When Si did those things, what kind of earth-shaking joy rose up in his mind.
In her subconscious, there is a kind of excitement and happiness—
Why can't Xu Jiao refuse Lilith
Because she also hopes to assume in her heart that if her benefactor is still alive, if this spiritual support is still there, when she grows up, will the other party treat her differently because of this special teaching by herself, and then let her become a The most important person in your life
The truth could not be known at that time, but her sinking without resisting again and again was the answer to everything.
But it's not over.
She thought she was hiding well, but her protagonist had already seen it through, her love was just a reflection, a kind of empathy, and she was as proud as the other party. How could she endure that she was still a shadow in Xu Jiao's heart
Time and time again, her protagonist covered Xu Jiao's heart for her benefactor with her strong and colorful traces, and finally made her clear that those sustenances and fantasies were all in the past, and now only this lover who already has his own soul is present. .
She loves that book
The souls born in the story belong to the protagonists.
What she loves is not Ye Zhen.
That's just a little nostalgia and nostalgia for young people, that's not what love looks like.
…
"Ding dong."
Across the wooden door, Xu Jiao with sharp ears heard Xu Han's voice coming back. She shouldn't have remembered it so clearly, but her body seemed to have so much fear and disgust at the sound of footsteps that she had a conditioned reflex in her mind.
Xu Jiao hooked her lips and called out in her mind, "System."
"?"
Xu Jiao: "I can't remember some things clearly. Since this is a world you can come to, why don't you help me consolidate my memory? Send me the content of everything I did when I was a child, I know you can."
system:"… "
It still works.
Xu Jiao just stared at the door like this, while receiving the content of the dark and dark stories of her childhood, she thought casually in the bottom of her heart:
What method should be used to let Xu Hankai experience the feeling that life is better than death