Knowing it is an abyss.
Knowing it was a tempting lie.
But the body couldn't help but indulge again and again.
Ruan Yihan's arms were firmly grasping the edge of the barrel. The air was becoming thinner and thinner, and her nails pressing on the edge were turning white.
Slowly, quickly, following the flow of water, again and again.
All of this is the tenderness given by Qin Haiyao.
After a long time, with a "splash", Qin Haiyao broke out of the water like a fish. She breathed heavily and her face was red.
Ruan Yihan's body was drenched in sweat again, and her heart was beating wildly. She didn't give Qin Haiyao a chance to relax, she reached out and grabbed her neck, pulling her over, continuing to suffocate her, and sinking together.
Their love was once so sweet.
As long as she thought of her, Ruan Yihan would be extremely happy no matter where she was or what she was doing. She should have been the purest, but was wrapped in layers of deception and lies.
Ruan Yihan dragged Qin Haiyao into the water and would not let her go even though it was difficult for her to breathe or even though it was in great pain.
She wanted to use this warm water to wash away all the dirt that had once been there.
Qin Haiyao looked at her with red eyes. She was not doing this for herself, but for Ruan Yihan.
Although Qin Haiyao looks gentle, she is never someone who allows herself to be manipulated by others. She only indulges Ruan Yihan because she understands her.
She knew how much pain her heart must be in, but she couldn't hold her in her arms and take care of her as she used to.
At that time, when she was in a bad mood, as long as Qin Haiyao hugged her and kissed her forehead, Ruan Yihan would feel that the world was bright.
But now... the suffocation was so painful that it made her heart ache. She finally used all her strength, squeezing her endlessly. Qin Haiyao was forced to endure it, with broken sobs in her mouth. She leaned back... and leaned back again, and finally hit the wall of the bucket with nowhere to hide.
It's all her.
She was the one who ruined it all.
The sin is unforgivable.
…
There was fire burning in Ruan Yihan's eyes. She was no longer gentle and did her best to provoke Qin Haiyao, just to see her lose control.
After all, he didn't completely want her.
But Qin Haiyao still indulged herself and collapsed, hugging Ruan Yihan tightly.
Ah Han...
Ruan Yihan looked at Qin Haiyao with red eyes, feeling the tremor deep inside her, as if she could see through her soul: "I will never love you again, never."
The body blooms and the heart withers in an instant.
From heaven to hell, it's just a word from her.
Qin Haiyao's body trembled, tears rolled down her cheeks, she couldn't help sobbing softly, but Ruan Yihan cruelly stood up. Without saying a word, she took a step forward with her long legs and walked out step by step. The water drops falling from her body left a long trail of water on the floor. She put on a bathrobe, glanced at Qin Haiyao who was still out of control, and left without saying anything.
Time passes by...
There was only one person in the bathroom, and the smell of recent joy still lingered.
The heat from her body was covered by the cold water. Qin Haiyao took a deep breath. She looked up at the misty ceiling and murmured, "I can do it. I can do it..."
She no longer has anyone to rely on in this world.
Apart from self-hypnosis, Qin Haiyao didn't know how to keep going.
Even if Ruan Yihan hates her, at least there is love mixed in with her, right
That was her only oxygen.
She had to hold on tightly, no matter how much she resisted or how unwilling she was.
It was getting dark and the fog was thick, as if it was going to rain.
The courtyard is spacious and airy, and the environment inside is closed and quiet, suitable for relaxation.
Ruan Yihan lay leisurely on the rattan chair with a glass of juice at her side. She looked up at the dark sky without any stars. Her heart was empty. She didn't know what that feeling was, but it was not happiness.
After her rebirth, many things she had expected did not go as she expected.
Just like grandma said, Qin Haiyao has changed.
After all, she was once her bedmate, and they spent several years in love with each other. She understood Qin Haiyao.
She knew she must have known something and what happened.
Many times, when the window paper was about to be punctured, Ruan Yihan shrank back. She didn't dare to ask, didn't dare to see what was hidden behind the truth. She was afraid that the truth she thought she saw would eventually turn into a lie and swallow her up.
I hated her and was even more angry at myself, so I kept hurting her. Ruan Yihan knew Qin Haiyao, and the moment she saw the brokenness in her eyes, she knew that she had succeeded.
Looking up, she took a sip of wine, thinking about the past scenes, and a tear fell from the corner of her eye.
Let’s just treat this as the last time.
She thought that if she hurt her, she would be happy.
I thought that if I broke her wings and humiliated her endlessly, she would be happy and feel a sense of revenge.
But it didn’t…
Hurting her and seeing her cry, what she gained was far from the satisfaction she had imagined. On the contrary, she was almost driven crazy by this feeling.
I still remember, it was also a rainy day like this, and a quiet night before the truth was about to be exposed.
The Ruan Group's building was on the verge of collapse. That day, she knew nothing and just hugged Xiao Hai, watching the rain.
She really liked to smell Qin Haiyao's scent.
The person you like, you like her so much that your heart is broken. Her smile, her look, or even her hair can make you fall in love with her.
Ruan Yihan buried her head in Qin Haiyao's neck. Qin Haiyao curled up against her and murmured, "I really want to keep going like this."
She knew that this kind of tenderness was rarely seen, and even if Ruan Yihan loved her, she would not show any mercy to her after seeing what had happened.
Ruan Yihan bent down and kissed her forehead with pity: "What's wrong? Have you been too busy at work recently? Too stressed?"
A mist appeared in Qin Haiyao's eyes. She suddenly turned around, put her hands around Ruan Yihan's neck, and kissed her hard.
He tried very hard and put all his effort into it, not even giving Ruan Yihan room to breathe, as if it was the end of the world.
Ruan Yihan knew that Qin Haiyao had been busy at school recently and basically had to work overtime until late every day. From her initial surprise to her later pity, she indulged Qin Haiyao and let her release her emotions between her lips.
At the end, both of them were breathing unsteadily. Ruan Yihan looked at Qin Haiyao, whose lips were bitten by her until they were as red as blood: "Are you feeling better?"
"I'm sorry..." Qin Haiyao shrank into Ruan Yihan's arms. She hugged her waist and choked a little. Ruan Yihan felt very distressed: "If you are really too tired, let's take a rest, okay?"
Qin Haiyao suppressed her emotions: "Rest? How can that be possible? I still need to make money. Otherwise, will you support me?"
"Raise her." Ruan Yihan stared at her eyes seriously. As long as Qin Haiyao opened her mouth, she would give her the best she could. This was her long-standing promise to her, and it never faded with the passage of time. Instead, her love grew stronger.
Qin Haiyao stared at her for a while, tears welled up in her eyes again, "Ah Han, don't be so nice to me."
Ruan Yihan smiled: "If I'm not nice to you, should I be nice to other women?"
Qin Haiyao shivered, and she hugged Ruan Yihan tightly: "Ah Han, will you fall in love with someone else?"
"What nonsense are you talking about?" Ruan Yihan whispered in her ear: "I have long been cursed by you, a bad woman. I can never leave you again. Besides you, Xiaohai, who else can I love?"
This kind of love is unforgettable and only happens once in a lifetime.
Ruan Yihan enjoyed herself happily and tried her best to protect her. Qin Haiyao leaned her head against her neck with moist eyes: "Yes, who else can I love besides you?"
They had already emptied themselves of all their love for each other.
Immersed in the sweetness of love, Ruan Yihan believed her so much that she never thought much about the meaning of her words.
So, so...
When Qin Haiyao walked out of the room in a bathrobe, she saw Ruan Yihan sitting alone on a bench, taking a sip of wine from time to time, her face full of grief.
She knew that she was reminiscing about the past again.
She was so kind... She should have had her perfect life...
She took advantage and trampled on him time and time again.
I don't want to hurt anyone, but I hurt them again and again.
Qin Haiyao took a deep breath, walked to Ruan Yihan, sat down next to her, and rested her head on her neck.
The same starry sky, the same person beside me, the same smell, but the love between them is no longer there.
A long, long time passed.
Qin Haiyao took the bottle from her hand and looked into her eyes: "Boss Ruan, let's play a game."
game
Ruan Yihan thought it was still her so-called games and couldn't help feeling a little annoyed, but when Qin Haiyao came over with dice and a few bottles of wine, she was stunned.
Under the moonlight, Qin Haiyao was only wearing a silk nightgown. When the wind blew, everything was looming, floating in the moonlight. Her eyes were soft and her skin was delicate. She was really an unrealistically beautiful fairy on earth.
She looked at Ruan Yihan looking at her and smiled: "If President Ruan likes it, I can go and put on the cheongsam."
Ruan Yihan turned her head away stiffly, ignoring her teasing, "What are you playing?"
Qin Haiyao put the dice and wine away. She tilted her head, thought seriously, and said with a smile: "Let's play truth or dare." There was a hint of mischief in her eyes: "Let's compete. The big one can ask the small one to answer one thing. You can't lie. If you don't want to answer, just drink, okay?"
She had no way of understanding Ruan Yihan's current feelings, so she could only use this method.
She knew that Ruan Yihan also had a lot to ask her.
Then let's take advantage of the moonlight and indulge ourselves with some wine.
here we go.
Ruan Yihan has always been an expert at playing cards and dice. She has never lost when playing with her friends.
So, she was in a relaxed mood, but who would have thought that she lost the first round. She looked at Qin Haiyao in surprise. Qin Haiyao raised her eyebrows. The first question is crucial and often determines the direction of the game.
She thought for a moment and asked, "I heard...I heard that you always have trouble sleeping, is that right?"
This is what she feels most distressed about.
She wanted to change, but Ruan Yihan didn't give her the chance.
Ruan Yihan looked so haggard that Qin Haiyao could even feel that everything she was doing now was supported by that hatred.
This question seemed simple, but it made Ruan Yihan feel depressed. She looked at Qin Haiyao and said "hmm" lightly.
She didn't let her have an easy time.
She wasn't having a good time herself.
Perhaps, in this world, hurting and being hurt have always been mutual.
Another one.
This time Ms. Ruan was serious. She suppressed her emotions and stared at the dice. Qin Haiyao saw her serious look and there was a tender smile in her eyes.
This time, Mr. Ruan won.
Ruan Yihan looked into Qin Haiyao's eyes and asked, "Besides deception, is there any love in your heart?"
As they looked at each other, Qin Haiyao's eyes became moist and she nodded: "Yes."
Once again.
Ruan Yihan: "Have you ever thought about telling me everything?"
Qin Haiyao choked up: "Yeah."
She will.
As long as Ahan wants to listen, and as long as the time is right, this time, she will tell her everything.
It's already the last one... Do I have to leave with regrets and hidden deceptions
Her Ah Han could ask these questions, she must have thought about it countless times in her heart, wondering whether her deception and exploitation were forced...
The water vapor gathered in the air gradually condensed, and the drizzle fell like silk.
Qin Haiyao didn't know when she had sat on Ruan Yihan. She passed the wine to Ruan Yihan, one sip for her and the other for herself. It was impossible to tell who was winning and who was losing.
"Do you really like that little girl?"
"No."
"Qin Haiyao, when you saw Zheng Yi and Wang Di enter the room, you really weren't sad at all?"
"real."
"If you were given a chance to choose again, would you still want to meet me?"
…
When Qin Haiyao asked this question, Ruan Yihan fell silent. Both of them had drunk a lot of wine, and their bodies and rationality had been burned by the alcohol.
Qin Haiyao looked at Ruan Yihan stubbornly, her heart pounding. Ruan Yihan met her eyes, picked up the wine beside her and chose to drink.
She didn't answer...
I don’t know whether to be happy or sad.
Ruan Yihan pressed Qin Haiyao's waist: "Does it hurt when I treat you like this?"
Qin Haiyao: "It hurts."
She kissed Ruan Yihan's lips, "If I say my heart is always with you, would you believe it?"
“No.”
…
Silence, mixed with a broken heart. Having been deceived so many times, how could Qin Haiyao ask Ruan Yihan to write to her again
The rain soaked their bodies, and by the end of the drinking session, their eyes were filled with tears. Ruan Yihan hugged Qin Haiyao tightly, looked into her eyes and asked, "Do you love me? Have you ever loved me?"
Her voice trembled and her eyes were filled with sadness. It would be more accurate to say that she was asking about her past self rather than the present Qin Haiyao.
Did she love her
Even if it was just a moment of sincerity, the vows of eternal love, the tenderness between fingertips, the endless affection, could it really be false
She doesn't believe it.
Those breaths, those tremblings, those days and nights of body and soul intertwining, the collapses again and again, the cries again and again, are they really all fake? Not a single bit of it is real
Qin Haiyao hugged Ruan Yihan's neck and whispered in her ear: "I love you, always."
like…
She wants love.
Being said in such a way on such an occasion, Ruan Yihan's eyes turned red and Qin Haiyao also shed tears. She leaned forward slightly and kissed away those tears with all her love.
Ruan Yihan once told her.
—Be my plaything.
Don't rush me, or I'll get tired of you and throw you away.
Now that she had told her she loved her, she was afraid of losing her, she was afraid she would never have another chance.
The rain is getting heavier.
The air was filled with the scent of both of them, blending together, ambiguous and tempting.
Both of them were soaked and walked into the room, leaning on each other.
In the middle of the lobby, there was a black piano. When Ruan Yihan saw it, she slowly sat over, closed her eyes, and moved her fingertips to play the "Piano Piece of the Night" that Qin Haiyao had particularly liked before.
On a rainy night, in such a bleak atmosphere, everything seems like a beautiful scene, like a scene that only appears in a dream.
Qin Haiyao stared at her blankly for a moment, then she walked over and sat next to Ruan Yihan.
Two pairs of hands, slender fingertips flying up and down, their coordination is seamless, so perfect.
It didn't feel like the first time they were playing together at all, as endless tacit understanding flew across the music score.
The talented man and the beautiful woman are the envy of others.
This has always been the tacit understanding that Ruan Yihan has been most obsessed with.
She has always been proud. She still remembers the first time she played the piano for Qin Haiyao. Qin Haiyao looked at her with her lips curled, walked over, and played with her without saying a word, just like now.
Their first time was so perfect and seamless.
At that moment, Ruan Yihan wondered whether this kind of tacit understanding was destined or whether they had met in their previous life.
Now, it is an encounter we once had.
The lingering and sad notes came to an abrupt end at the end.
Ruan Yihan stood up and was about to leave. She couldn't stay any longer. Qin Haiyao hugged her tightly from behind: "Stay, just this once, just once..."
Ruan Yihan's body was stiff and she didn't move.
Qin Haiyao's tears flowed into her neck: "I won't do anything. I'll tell you everything you want to know. Okay?"
She wanted to accompany her, even just once.
Her tears flowed into Ruan Yihan's neck. Ruan Yihan choked and sobbed. She turned her head and looked at her: "Tell me everything?"
Qin Haiyao nodded, tears falling down her face, "I'll tell you everything."
Ruan Yihan stared at her intently: "No more lies."
Qin Haiyao looked into her eyes: "No more deception."
…
The rain is getting heavier.
After the two changed their clothes, Qin Haiyao knelt on the bed and gently blew Ruan Yihan's hair.
Her fingers are very gentle and her eyes are affectionate and make people nostalgic.
Such little bits of happiness are all the tenderness that supports her through the painful nights.
Ruan Yihan looked at her, her body relaxed, her eyes slightly lowered.
Today, Qin Haiyao told her that she loved her.
She planned every step and finally got what she wanted.
In her mind, she responded with Qin Qin's words.
- Let her fall in love with you, and when she is most obsessed, tell her that you don’t love her and it’s just a joke.
—She had to watch her fiancé marry and have children with another woman, which made her feel heartbroken.
—Then he would keep her broken wings like a canary by his side, neither loving her nor letting her leave.
…
Qin Haiyao felt warm in her heart. Although she knew that this tenderness was only short-lived, she was still satisfied.
In the past, every time after taking a shower, they would blow-dry each other's hair and hug each other and kiss.
At that time, Ruan Yihan occasionally wanted to smoke, and Qin Haiyao would sit on her, take the cigarette and kiss her. After doing this again and again, she finally quit smoking, but she developed other bad habits.
Whenever she was unhappy, Ruan Yihan would pout her lips coquettishly, point at her mouth, and her eyes would be full of anticipation.
Qin Haiyao had no choice but to satisfy her habit.
They had been so close, without any gap between them.
But nowadays…
They each occupied one side of the bed.
The quietness of the night makes each other's heartbeat and breathing particularly obvious.
The most familiar stranger is probably the best way to describe their relationship at this moment.
Qin Haiyao turned around secretly and looked at Ruan Yihan's back for a long time. She didn't have the courage to hug her, so she pulled her clothes a little bit, with the corners of her mouth raised inadvertently.
At the same time, Ruan Yihan turned around and looked at Qin Haiyao's face for a long time without saying a word.
Her eyebrows...
Her lips and nose...
She had seen the kiss countless times, and now, it was finally time to say goodbye.
She had been waiting for her to ask, but Ruan Yihan remained indifferent. Qin Haiyao saw determination in her eyes. She was a little flustered, and her cold hands could not help but grab Ruan Yihan's wrist: "Ah Han, actually I am also..."
The ringing of the cell phone sounded abruptly in the darkness.
Ruan Yihan broke free from Qin Haiyao's hand and reached for her cell phone. She looked at the caller ID and suddenly a smile of unknown meaning appeared on the corner of her mouth.
Qin Haiyao was covered with a thin towel blanket and stared at Ruan Yihan blankly.
Ruan Yihan stood up. She had already sat on the armchair opposite, with a cold look in her eyes.
In front of her, Ruan Yihan answered the call and pressed the speakerphone.
It was Wenlian on the other end of the phone. The little girl was very excited: "Sister, today is my 24th birthday! I didn't want to disturb you, but when I gave grandma the cake I made myself in the evening, she said... She said..."
Because I was too excited and couldn't believe it.
It was like a dream, she didn't even dare to ask.
Wenlian's voice trembled. "She said you agreed to consider it and give it a try with me, right?"
Qin Haiyao's eyes suddenly widened, she bit her lip and looked at Ruan Yihan, her face changed.
Ruan Yihan was silent for a while. She stared into Qin Haiyao's eyes and said gently to the girl on the phone, "Well, yes."
Wenlian is so good to grandma.
She was so gentle and lovely, and I was devoted to her.
Why did she choose Qin Haiyao, who was full of deception and brought her endless pain, and let go of such a beautiful and kind girl
It's happened again, Qin Haiyao, does she think I'm still willing to listen to her endless lies
Since she felt unhappy every time she was hurt, Ruan Yihan thought it would be better to end it all at once and really let her start over.
The night is full of darkness.
The sound of a broken heart is very clear.
Ruan Yihan looked at Qin Haiyao, who was already in tears, and said calmly: "Do you think I will really fall in love with you? It's fake, all fake, you are just my plaything, just for fun. Do you know why I don't want your membrane? Because I feel disgusted, I'm afraid of trouble, and I'm afraid that you will pester me."
Qin Haiyao bit her lip tightly and looked at Ruan Yihan in disbelief.
Ruan Yihan's indifference was deeper than the night. She lit a cigarette, her eyes filled with sarcasm and disdain: "Why are you crying?"
Qin Haiyao felt cold. She must have lied to her. She must have lied to her.
She tried desperately to find any trace of lying in Ruan Yihan's eyes, but all she got was a cold look.
Ruan Yihan: "Grandma has been worrying about my marriage. I'm at this age now. Wenlian is a good girl. She won't lie to me, she won't be scheming, and she won't hide anything. Besides, we are a good match. I will treat her well." She thought about it, walked to the bed, suddenly grabbed Qin Haiyao's lips with both hands, and kissed her hard.
Since it is the last time, she wants to let Qin Haiyao feel what it feels like to be deceived when she loves the most and when she is most intimate.
Qin Haiyao reached out to push her away, tears streaming down her face. This time, she really didn't want to, but Ruan Yihan didn't let her go until the taste of blood filled her lips and teeth. Ruan Yihan raised one hand, wiped the blood from the corner of her mouth, curled her lips and asked with a smile: "Let me think, what should I say at this moment? Maybe, soon, Teacher Qin can come to our wedding as a bridesmaid, don't you think?"
Qin Haiyao covered her chest with her hands. The pain in her heart was like a knife cutting her heart and she couldn't breathe. Tears fell one by one. Her body was trembling. She curled up and looked at Ruan Yihan: "Ah Han, A Han, A Han..."
Ruan Yihan looked at her, smiled and shed tears: "Qin Haiyao, don't come to me again, don't seduce me again, I don't want my future wife to be unhappy after knowing it." She looked into Qin Haiyao's eyes and said murderously: "From now on, I will treat her well." Ruan Yihan took a deep breath, as if she was saying to Qin Haiyao and to herself: "I will definitely make myself fall in love with her."