Looking at herself in Xiaohai, at that moment, Ruan Yihan burst into tears.
She has never been a strong person, nor a cruel person.
She is not as determined as Xiaohai.
If she had to choose, she would really rather not have met him.
But fate played such a trick on her, allowing them to meet again. Now she just wanted Xiaohai to be alive, as long as she was alive, that was better than anything else.
…
Lazhen's eyes turned red as she watched Ruan Yihan crying in pain. She was a typical Tibetan girl who had lived in Tibet since she was a child and had never been out of the house. This time, if her senior sister Jiang Zhenyue had not run back to ask the master for help, she might have gone into seclusion to practice like many other devout Tibetans.
That retreat lasted a lifetime.
She had never been exposed to such a glamorous world and only heard one sentence from her master.
—One flower, one world; one leaf, one Bodhi.
All living things suffer, and once you go out you will want to come back.
…
She didn't understand what it meant then, and she still doesn't understand it now.
But now, looking at Ruan Yihan crying bitterly, her tears couldn't help but flow down.
Jiang Zhenyue stared at Ruan Yihan for a while, then she tilted her head and looked at the sun in the sky. Why are they so hard up? Ah Han and Xiao Hai are both kind people she has ever met. Buddha said there is cause and effect, what exactly is the cause and effect
Ruan Yihan really cried for a long time. She turned her head to look at Jiang Zhenyue: "Where is she?"
Where is it
That day, Jiang Zhenyue almost went crazy when she saw Qin Haiyao lying in a pool of blood. This was a mountain village, not like a city, and the injury was so serious.
The moment he hugged Qin Haiyao, Jiang Zhenyue broke down for the first time in his life.
She had a feeling that Xiao Hai would not survive...
She has lost the will to live and cannot wait for tomorrow. If it were her, she would not want to continue to endure the pain.
But things change.
Good deeds will bring good results.
In such darkness, Jiang Zhenyue's voice alarmed the neighbors. Originally, everyone was born in the countryside and lived their own lives well, so they didn't care too much. People from the same village were like this, let alone people from other villages.
But what did Xiaohai do during this period of time
She selflessly helped so many villagers.
When we went to the mountain, in addition to picking mushrooms for Ruan Yihan, we gave all the yams to the local clinic without charging a penny.
There are many villagers who have been suffering from chronic diseases for a long time. Qin Haiyao tries her best to help them. For those who are really in difficulty, she pays for them out of her own pocket.
Many times, Jiang Zhenyue asked her if it was worth it
Qin Haiyao smiled slightly: "Yueyue, my life is different from yours."
She has never lived for herself.
This life can be said to be meaningless.
Since she was born, her existence was revenge. After meeting Ruan Yihan, she enjoyed love while being swallowed by the consequences behind the lies, and was in a state of panic every day.
And now, she was abandoned here.
Her hopes were dashed again and again, and she could only extend the happiness she wanted to see to others. Otherwise, she would not be able to hold on.
On that day, even the village head and village cadres were all present, and the long street was filled with people. Anyone who had a car or knew someone in the town came to help.
Even the sky seemed moved, and the drizzle lingered, making people feel depressed.
Qin Haiyao was sent to the hospital by the villagers as quickly as possible.
When entering the operating room, Qin Haiyao, who had been in a coma, suddenly woke up. She looked at Jiang Zhenyue and moved her lips.
Jiang Zhenyue followed the doctor pushing the operating cart. She bent down and listened to Qin Haiyao's words.
"If... I die... don't... don't tell her..."
In this world, no one knows Ruan Yihan better than her.
If she was really dead, she didn't want to tell Ruan Yihan.
Let her always pretend that I am still here waiting for her.
Ahan is not wrong.
She is kind and simple, and she once even cried after watching a touching movie.
Qin Haiyao always thought that her life was painful, but wasn’t Ahan the same
If Ah Han had never met her...
She is still herself, although it is bitter, she is used to it.
But Ruan Yihan will definitely meet someone who loves her, understands her, and cares for her, and will not be dragged down by her for her whole life.
Jiang Zhenyue knew that this would be a farewell forever for Qin Haiyao once she went in, and she didn't want her to die like this, so she gritted her teeth and lied to give her hope of life.
—She’s coming, Xiaohai, she’s coming, she’ll be here soon.
At that moment, a tear welled up in the corner of Qin Haiyao's eye. She looked into the distance, and her hand wearing the Buddhist beads slowly drooped.
…
How powerful is a person's will
If Qin Haiyao was rational, she would definitely know that Jiang Zhenyue was lying to her.
But this lie, which she knew was a lie, still supported her through the dark night.
In the silence, she saw the two of them walking towards her.
One of them covered her chest, and the other had messy hair and looked exhausted. "Are you leaving?"
Walking away is a relief.
Are you leaving
Qin Haiyao turned around and looked at the road she came from. At that moment, she hesitated and was conflicted.
She was not sure whether she could really wait for Ruan Yihan in this lifetime.
But she still had a wish, she wanted to go see her.
Master once said that Tibet pays attention to the intermediate state body. Within seven days after a person’s death, his or her memory is extremely powerful, and he or she can go to places he or she has never been to and meet people he or she has always wanted to meet.
This moment.
Three of her in one.
Now, she can finally go see Ruan Yihan with the entanglement of three lifetimes behind her.
Go see her Ah Han...
Xiaohai has walked the way home thousands of times.
She walked through the silent night and came to Ruan Yihan's bed.
She fell asleep.
But I didn’t sleep very well.
Qin Haiyao stared at her for a while, all kinds of emotions swirling in her heart. She wanted to cry, but she was left with only her soul and she didn't even have tears.
She bent down and tried to kiss Ruan Yihan through the air.
Ruan Yihan's body moved, and she murmured like a nightmare, "Xiao Hai, Xiao Hai..."
For a moment, Qin Haiyao's internal organs were in pain. She took a deep breath and wanted to give up, but when she turned around, she saw a pink paper crane on the bedside.
In the darkness.
It emitted a light pink, like a firefly, as if it sensed the call of its master, and the pink fluorescence wrapped around Qin Haiyao.
That is the power of love.
At that moment, along with the sound of the spell, something suddenly sucked Qin Haiyao back.
"Alright, alright! He's saved, he's saved!"
In the ward, the doctor was wiping the sweat off his forehead. After three days and three nights of rescue, Qin Haiyao was finally saved.
Outside the ward, Master Sangzhuo, who was called over by Jiang Zhenyue while she was crying, was spinning a prayer wheel in his hand. He raised one hand and said to Jiang Zhenyue, "She is only breathing heavily. I can only rely on this breath to keep her soul alive. You go find the person in her heart, the sooner the better."
…
The person in my heart.
…
Ruan Yihan slowly walked into the wooden house, her face full of tears, as she looked at Xiaohai who was lying on the bed as if he was asleep.
Next to her was her master, Master Huiguo, and on the other side was Jiang Zhenyue's master, Master Sangzhuo.
When the two saw Ruan Yihan coming in, they both stood up.
Such a miracle of survival.
It is not uncommon in Tibet.
But a lot of it exists between mother and daughter, like there is too little love.
Maternal love is always the greatest thing in the world. A mother can selflessly give everything to her children, even her most pious soul.
Love has also been endowed with many myths by humans. It seems to be a panacea for miracle workers to survive.
In ancient times, there were many fairy-tale stories about people dying for love and giving up everything for love.
But it becomes less and less as time goes by.
The rapid development of the material world, the flourishing of human desire, true and false feelings, physical affection, deep love at one moment and indifference at the next moment, who dares to say that he has the one and only love.
Ruan Yihan walked to the bedside step by step. Her legs lost strength and she slowly knelt beside the bed, "Xiao Hai..."
Her face was covered with tears and she raised her hand to touch Xiaohai's cheek.
Her fingertips were covered in blood and dirt and were trembling slightly. The moment she touched Qin Haiyao's cheek, Ruan Yihan burst into tears.
Why is that
Why did God do this to them
Throughout her life, she loved life, respected others, never did anything to harm others, and would help her friends or even a stranger without hesitation.
Is it so difficult for her to want love
Xiaohai, Xiaohai, Xiaohai...
Ruan Yihan curled up into a ball crying. She grabbed Qin Haiyao's hand, interlocked their fingers, and whispered softly, "I'm back, Xiaohai, wake up, I'm back."
…
The sunlight shines through the thin clouds and turns into beams of golden threads that shine into the room.
Ruan Yihan hugged Qin Haiyao, she was crying so hard that her whole body was shaking and she had no strength left to cry.
Everyone knew that she needed a space to relax, so they all backed out.
Outside the room.
Master Huiguo clasped his hands together, looking towards the east in silence. Master Sangzhuo turned the prayer wheel in his hand, also in silence.
There are eight sufferings in life: suffering of birth, suffering of aging, suffering of sickness, suffering of death, suffering of meeting with those we hate, suffering of separation from those we love, suffering of not getting what we desire, and suffering of the five aggregates.
How many people want to break out of this cage but can never get out.
After Ruan Yihan came out, her condition improved a lot. At least her lover was still there. No matter how much pain she had suffered in the past, she could make up for it in the long time to come.
But why hasn’t Xiaohai woken up yet
Master Huiguo's hand was fiddling with a string of white Bodhi beads. Ruan Yihan knew her. Xiao Hai had mentioned this master to her countless times.
The moment she faced Master Huiguo, Ruan Yihan slowly knelt down. She looked at Master Huiguo and said nothing, but her eyes were full of pleading.
Please...
Let Xiaohai wake up. As long as she can survive, I will do anything.
Master Huiguo stroked Ruan Yihan's arm and she looked at Master Sangzhuo opposite. Master Sangzhuo's father was a well-known Zen master in Tibet. He majored in Tantric Buddhism all his life, but in the three thousand worlds of Buddhism, the ultimate goal is to save people.
"It's not that I didn't save her, it's just that this child has too many thoughts."
Master Huiguo picked up the Buddhist beads, and the beads passed through her hands one by one with a crisp sound. "She is now completely divided. There are three of her. She has three lives. In one life, she wanted to save her mother, in one life, she wanted to win you back, and in one life, she waited in vain. Everything is in vain. She is trapped there."
Jiang Zhenyue also waited for Xiaohai for a long time. Although her physical injuries had healed, she was still not waking up.
She went to a specialist hospital to consult doctors, both in surgery and psychiatry. She was desperate but did not want to give up, otherwise she would not have traveled thousands of miles to invite a master from Tibet, and went through so much trouble to find Master Huiguo.
The two masters, one from Pure Land Buddhism and the other from Tantric Buddhism, had the same answer: if she wanted to survive, she had to temporarily unify her soul.
Soul Unity...
A cold thought suddenly came to Jiang Zhenyue's mind at that moment.
Love and hate have the same origin.
Isn't it... Ah Han who makes Qin Haiyao suffer so much, wandering on the edge of love and hate again and again
But…
This matter is too big, so traditional doctors suggested to her that there is a method called electric shock therapy, MECT, which is commonly used for patients with severe mental illness, those who have suffered severe mental trauma and cannot get over that hurdle. It is widely used abroad.
But putting aside the difficulty of implementation, the process is extremely painful, and the sequelae are severe. Not only will the patient forget many fragments of memory, some people will even forget who they are in the end.
What's more, Xiaohai's current physical condition is not suitable.
After listening to what Master Huiguo and Master Sangzhuo said, Ruan Yihan was silent for a long time.
At the end, she went to the temple that Xiaohai often went to.
She could neither free herself nor escape.
This time, in this life.
It was Ruan Yihan's turn to kneel in the hall. She knelt on the ground, looking at the gods and Buddhas in the hall with tears streaming down her face.
—Buddha, why do you save me but not her
She has figured it out.
I already want to say goodbye to the past.
But now, her little sea...
No one forced Ruan Yihan.
Give her plenty of time.
In the evening, Jiang Zhenyue and Lazhen cooked dinner together. Both masters are vegetarians, so Jiang Zhenyue even fried a plate of Xiaohai’s mushrooms specially for Ruan Yihan.
After eating, Ruan Yihan felt even worse.
The same method, even the same seasoning, but the taste is not the same as Xiao Hai's.
She seldom speaks, and spends most of her time with Xiaohai, doing nothing except just looking at her.
It was late at night the next day.
When Ruan Yihan was sure that Xiaohai would not wake up, she sat outside, holding the pink paper crane all night.
She no longer hid, no longer tried to restrain herself.
I indulged myself in taking out all the memories, no matter how painful or happy they were, and chewing them over again and again.
Once upon a time.
She treats Xiaohai as a treasure.
Love her to the core.
Even if she was tortured by hatred, she would not let go because of the deep blood feud.
Torturing and humiliating again and again was just to make her see herself in her eyes and make her admit that everything that had happened was unavoidable.
Now, in order for her to move on, she really has to let go.
She didn't want to pursue the past, anything, anymore.
The next morning.
The two masters got up very early. Huiguo clasped her hands together and looked at Ruan Yihan: "Amitabha, child, just let her get better and let it go temporarily." She picked up the Buddhist beads in her hand and handed them to Ruan Yihan: "This is the rosary that has accompanied me all my life. If you think it over, put it on her hand."
Master Sangzhuo looked at Master Huiguo silently. Every master has a magic tool that will last from birth to death. This Buddhist rosary is full of traces of time. It looks lightly golden in the eyes of a practitioner. If it is given to Xiaohai, then she...
Master Huiguo did not say anything more. She had helped Xiaohai through all of this. Now, no matter what the outcome was, that was her original choice.
Master Sandro finished everything and was ready to leave, but his disciple Lazhen was a little reluctant to leave. Master Sandro saw it and smiled slightly: "If you want to stay, then stay for a while."
He just wanted to take her away, but her heart was in the mortal world, so how could he be pulled back
Lazhen clasped his hands together and bowed, "Yes, Master."
Many people think that monks only eat vegetarian food and chant Buddhist scriptures all year round and do not care about worldly affairs, but they do not know that the world is the greatest training ground.
Entered the room.
Ruan Yihan looked at the Buddhist beads again and again, and Jiang Zhenyue felt a little reluctant, "Have you thought it through?"
Death, although cruel.
But sometimes, giving birth is even more painful.
Nodding gently, Ruan Yihan looked at Xiaohai. Her Xiaohai had suffered so much for so long.
If you can't break free, and everything can really start over, it would be a good choice.
If Xiao Hai forgets her and falls in love with someone else after waking up, she can accept it.
She has been happy for so long.
What’s wrong with making Xiaohai happy for once
It was not until this moment that Ruan Yihan understood what love really is.
Love is not about possession, nor about restraint, but about fulfillment.
Xiao Hai can make the cruelest decision for her, and so can she, even though her heart aches and her tears have dried up.
"But what are we going to tell her when she wakes up?"
Jiang Zhenyue looked at Ruan Yihan. Ruan Yihan met her eyes and said softly, "Yueyue, do you believe that all this is destined?"
What
Jiang Zhenyue looked at Ruan Yihan in confusion. Ruan Yihan took out an ID card from her pocket. There was her photo on it, but her name was Han Yao.
She found it in the safe.
This was the last straw that Xiao Hai had when she was afraid that she would not be able to stop Qin Qin and was on the verge of despair. The identity document she had prepared for Ruan Yihan was the last straw.
—I guess everything is destined by God.
…
God has already arranged it.
Ruan Yihan no longer hesitated. She walked to Xiaohai, bent down, and kissed her forehead devoutly.
Xiaohai, I can't let you leave me.
Then let me leave you.
…
After taking off Xiaohai's old Buddhist beads, Ruan Yihan gently put the new beads on her wrist.
Right at that moment.
The black circle around the pink paper crane placed on the bedside finally disappeared in an instant. When the wind blew, it seemed to be given life, just like the kite that Qin Haiyao and Ruan Yihan cut the rope and released with their own hands on the day of separation, floating and flying out of the window.