Two people who are not good at talking, two people who love each other but never speak.
It turned out that her mother liked her and was proud of her.
Cen Ning looked at the letter and smiled, but smiled and cried again.
Is it over to say I'm sorry? From then on, her relatives who are connected by blood are gone. What can I get in exchange for a word of sorry...
Cen Ning hated Wei Pinfang very much, hated her for leaving her like this, hated her deliberately not taking life-saving medicine, hated her doing these things secretly behind her back, and even more hated her for not saying a word when she clearly understood and supported her.
She also hated herself, hated herself for taking her sickness for granted, hated herself for never caring or asking, and didn't even know that she had long ago suffered from the depression of lovelessness. She hates herself even more for not being more cheerful, for not pestering her mother about work, study, and things outside like those little girls.
She was lonely, but at least she wasn't alone afterward. But as for her mother, she has always been lonely, and no one has ever talked to her sincerely, and neither will her only daughter.
Cen Ning squeezed the letter paper tightly, the tears accumulated in so many days finally burst out.
This room with Wei Pinfang's atmosphere, this belated mother's care and love finally made her feel unprecedented panic in the midst of remorse and hatred.
**
Two weeks after Wei Pinfang's death was dealt with, Cen Ning embarked on the road back to his hometown.
After leaving that place, I never went back. Seven years ago, things have changed. But when Cen Ning arrived at that place, he still felt familiar, the streets, the houses, the trees...they didn't change in essence, they just changed their clothes.
She stayed in that small town for three days before returning, sitting on the train alone, looking at the scenery outside the window.
In the opposite seat, a young couple kissed me and whispered to each other.
Occasionally, Cen Ning would think, where is he now? Is he safe? Did it go well
She would think again, if only he was here, maybe she wouldn't be so tired if he was here.
After getting out of the subway, Cen Ning planned to take a taxi back to the apartment. As for Yan's house, she didn't want to go back for the time being, because she didn't want to see that small building without Wei Pinfang.
As soon as he took a taxi, Cen Ning received a call from Zhang Ziyi.
"Hello?"
"Ning, Ningning, he's back, I—"
Zhang Ziyi's voice was very strange, as if she was trapped in a great fear. Cen Ning was stunned for a moment: "What's wrong with you? When he came back, you mean Tang Zheng and the others."
"Ning Ning, I'm scared!" Zhang Ziyi burst into tears suddenly, and she spoke intermittently while crying. Cen Ning struggled to distinguish her sentences, and finally heard something while piecing together.
She was in another province today, and when she was eating, Xin Zechuan called to tell her that their group was in the hospital and that Tang Zheng was seriously injured. She is rushing back now, but due to the distance, she cannot arrive immediately...
It was dusk, and Cen Ning was standing at the entrance of the subway where people were coming and going, his whole body was blown stiff by the cold wind. The wind penetrated into her heart like a poisonous snake, and the venom spread silently. At first, she didn't feel it, but after a few seconds, the piercing pain penetrated into every cell. When she came back to her senses, the hand holding the phone was already shaking violently.
Did something happen to him too
Beijing 301 Hospital, outside the operating room.
A group of men in military uniforms were sitting or standing, all with silent faces. They had been waiting early in the morning, but the lights in the operating room were not turned off, and no one left.
"Old Zhang, go and treat the wound on your arm first." A young boy said, "What should I do if I wait for your wound..."
"That's right, we're all here."
"No, I'm going to wait until he comes out."
"Old Zhang..." The young boy couldn't persuade him, so he looked at the man sitting on the chair beside him for help. He lowered his head slightly, his eyes were cold and gloomy.
"Brother Yan, look at Old Zhang."
The eyes of words and deeds seemed to move: "Old Zhang, go to bandage."
"Brother Yan, I want to see him until he comes out."
"Go bandage, this is an order!"
Lao Zhang pursed his lips, reluctantly, but he could not disobey the military order: "... yes."
After a few words, everyone was silent again. This hostage rescue mission was completed with difficulty, but even though it was completed, their team also made a great sacrifice. Tang Zheng is still lying in the operating room.
"Come out, come out."
The operating lights went out and the doctor came out.
"How about a doctor!"
"The vital signs are all normal, don't worry."
"Very good… "
Everyone breathed a sigh of relief, and they were all overjoyed.
Between words and deeds, he pursed his lips, and the hand that had been tightly clenched by his side finally calmed down.
"Words and deeds."
Everyone was rejoicing, when suddenly, a faint voice came from the side.
Several people looked back, and saw a little girl standing in the corridor at some point, she was very beautiful, but her face was pale and pale, which made people feel inexplicably panicked.
"This lesbian, you are..."
"Words and deeds." The little girl took a step forward, ignoring others, and only looked at their captain for a moment.
A man in the middle recognized her, he was surprised, this is not the one in Tibet...
But before he could say anything, he saw their captain get up suddenly, walk past them and walk in front of the little girl.
Someone nearby asked in a low voice: "Hey, who is this?"
"This is the one-"
"..."
Before finishing speaking, everyone was stunned.
Because that little girl suddenly pushed her words and deeds violently, extremely ruthlessly. It was amazing that their captain, who was always terribly cold and frighteningly angry when he got angry, was silent.
After being pushed away, he went forward and hugged the little girl again, and after hugging, he was pushed away again, and then hugged tightly...
Everyone looked at each other in blank dismay, wondering whether they could see it or not.
"Tsk, what are you doing in a daze, they all left."
"No... who is this girl?"
"Didn't I tell you that a little girl saved Brother Yan when we were in Tibet?"
"Oh! This is it!"
"Yes, yes, yes...Okay, let's go quickly, don't look at it."
**
The quiet hospital corridor smelled of life-or-death disinfectant. Cen Ning hated this smell because it was like that when Wei Pinfang died that day.
And every second when she rushed over from the subway just now, she was suffering from a hallucination. She seemed to see the words and deeds of Wei Pinfang lying on the hospital bed, bleeding all over his body and dying.
She is too scared.
Having just lost a loved one, the fear of losing another.
If so, she really can't bear it.
"sorry."
A man's low and painful voice came from beside her ear, and Cen Ning leaned into his arms, the iron badge on his chest hurting her cheek.
But she didn't speak, she just stayed in his world like this, like a puppet that was almost discarded, eagerly feeling the body temperature of people.
Hugging Cen Ning in his words and deeds, he looked down at her sluggish and panicked appearance, as if someone had stabbed him in the heart.
He arrived in the morning, but he didn't contact her because his comrades were on the verge of life and death. But from Xin Zechuan's mouth, he knew that Wei Pinfang passed away a few days ago.
At that moment, he was really confused. He has always been strategizing and keeping everything in his palm. He is full of self-confidence and feels that he can control everything well. But at that time, he began to question himself for the first time, and felt that he was so useless for the first time.
On the battlefield, Tang Zheng was injured by the shells bombed to save him. He couldn't protect his comrades who were looking forward to him. And at home, when the person he loves the most needs comfort and company, he can't do anything, and even now he has to make her worry about herself.
He always thought that he could take good care of both ends, but now he realized that he couldn't take care of everything.
"Ning Ning, I'm sorry."
Cen Ning looked up at him, his face still pale: "Are you injured?"
"No."
Cen Ning breathed a sigh of relief: "Zi Yi said you were injured."
His eyes darkened in words and deeds: "It's Tang Zheng...but now the doctor says the critical period is over."
"That's good." Cen Ning came out of his arms, "Then go get busy, you just came back, there should be a lot of things for you to do in the army."
Looking at her in words and deeds, his eyes seemed to be broken: "Ning Ning, I heard that Aunt Wei passed away."
Cen Ning was stunned for a while before nodding his head: "Well, but everything has been arranged, don't worry."
"I'm sorry."
Cen Ning smiled slowly: "Brother Xingzhi, why do you keep telling me you're sorry, it's not like you. And you didn't let me down, you didn't let anyone down."
"It's because I can't be by your side."
"How can you blame you for this matter, you have to defend the country, everyone, not me alone."
All the words seemed to be blocked by her words, yes, he is a soldier, and he is guarding the country. But he is a person first, and what he wants to guard is always her.
Guarding the country is a responsibility, guarding her is what the heart wants.
"I'm really fine." Cen Ning lowered his eyes, "I was just worried that something happened to you just now... as long as you're fine."
In words and deeds: "Scared you."
"Yeah... I don't want to see what I don't want to see again." Cen Ning took his hand and exhaled, "I want to see Tang Zheng, Zi Yi must be very worried about him, is it convenient now? ?”
"Um."
Tang Zheng was still in a coma, and none of his injuries were life-threatening, but what made everyone silent was that his left leg was seriously injured, and even after he recovered, he could no longer do strenuous exercise.
This means that it is impossible for him to participate in any special missions.
At eleven o'clock in the evening, Zhang Ziyi rushed to the hospital. She must have cried terribly on the way, her eyes were red and swollen, she was guarding Tang Zheng's ward, and no one could tell her to leave.
Just as Cen Ning and Yan Xingzhi came out of the ward, he took her hand and walked slowly outside the hospital.
When walking out of the corridor, Yan Xingzhi suddenly hugged Cen Ning tightly in his arms, Cen Ning froze for a moment, and stretched out his arms to wrap around Yan Xingzhi's waist.
"He won't blame you." She said softly.
He didn't speak in words and deeds, but his eyes were red from an angle that no one could see.
Does no one blame him? But he was indeed ashamed of Tang Zheng, and also of her...
Not far away, several soldiers in military uniforms also came over. When they saw the two people embracing not far away, they all stopped.
"Tang Zheng, I heard him say 'protect brother Yan' before and thought he was talking..."
"Hey, the captain is probably feeling very uncomfortable."
"But it's the first time I've seen Brother Yan so... fragile?"
"That was in front of the one I love. If this little girl wasn't here today, I swear, Brother Yan would still be the same Brother Yan who never changed his face when he was overwhelmed by mountains."