"Every time I see you, I'm nervous..."
"You're always sullen... I'm afraid..."
"But I can't see you, I... my heart is empty... not at ease..."
Xia Rou murmured.
What is she saying? Who are you talking about? Who made her face sullen
At home, it was his father, the most dignified head of the family, who never hesitated to give her a gentle smile when he saw her.
Xia Rou fell asleep while talking.
Hearing her breathing gradually stabilized, it was Cao Yang who finally hung up the phone.
Later, Cao Yang recalled these things and determined that this was the first time Xia Rou said those inexplicable words.
At that time, he was only worried about her insomnia, and he never thought that things were much more serious than he thought.
Xia Rou calls Cao Xiong every week to report his safety. On the phone, she speaks briskly, announcing good news but not bad news.
Cao Yang knew that she didn't want Cao Xiong to worry, so she didn't tell anyone about her situation. Only Cao Yang in the family knew that Xia Rou was in bad condition.
Xia Rou, who ran away from him far away, would call him in the middle of her night, just to hear his voice.
"It's easier to fall asleep..." she said.
So do you like him or don't you like him
Cao Yang didn't understand either. Never before have I felt that a woman's mind is so incomprehensible.
But Xia Rou's insomnia has not improved. In the state of insomnia, she would say some incomprehensible things in the middle of the night.
Once she asked him: "... what are you going to say to me?"
"Who?" he asked. He knew that she was actually in a state of half asleep and half awake, and her mind was not very clear.
"You," she said.
"when?"
"That day... the day you got divorced..."
Cao Yang frowned.
"Rourou, I haven't been married yet."
Xia Rou suddenly fell silent.
After a long time, she seemed to wake up suddenly.
"Oh..." she said, "You are Cao Yang."
Of course he is Cao Yang! Otherwise who else could it be
Cao Yang's jealousy surged! But he also keenly grasped this important information—a divorced man!
Cao An finally ruled out the suspicion. very good!
But... When did Xia Rou have a relationship with a divorced man? Could it be the teacher in the school
Cao Yang asked someone to do an investigation, and there were a few divorced male teachers in the school. But Cao Yang looked, none of them were attractive or handsome enough to attract Xia Rou.
This thread is broken.
Because he misses Xia Rou, he also asks to make video calls with her occasionally to see what she looks like.
Xia Rou didn't agree at first, but later she couldn't resist him, so she agreed. But since she started to suffer from insomnia, Cao Yang noticed that she was getting thinner and thinner after a few videos.
He was so worried that she no longer wanted to make video calls with him, but only talked on the phone.
This made Cao Yang very annoyed. He told her that if this continued, she would have to give up the student exchange program and return to China.
Xia Rou promised him to adjust his work and rest and cultivate his body.
But insomnia is a well-known incurable disease all over the world.
In order to hide it from him and not let him know, she tried her best not to call him at night. It was daytime on my side, and dusk on his side, and lied to him that her condition had improved.
Cao Yang was once deceived. Until one night, he told her that he had just attended a wedding.
"Whose?" she asked.
"Old Huo's." He said.
Xia Rou seemed to be in a daze for a while before asking: "Brother Yaogang married? With... Wang Man?"
"Otherwise who else could it be? Of course it's Wang Man." He didn't care.
The next day, when the sun was shining brightly on his side, Xia Rou called late at night.
"Wang Man is married... what do you do?" Xia Rou sobbed softly.
Wang Man is married, what is he doing? Cao Yang was puzzled, and coaxed her helplessly: "I have you."
"But... I'm with you..." Xia Rou choked up, "What should he do? What should he do?"
"… who is he?"
"Brother, brother... what should I do?"
Cao Yang felt relieved, and said, "What else can you do when you are with me, of course we live happily together."
"No...you don't understand..." Xia Rou cried sadly and hung up the phone.
This phone call exposed Xia Rou's lies. Her insomnia has never improved.
Cao Yang became more and more worried, and angrily ordered her to put down her studies and go home immediately. But Xia Rou insisted on refusing.
Refusing to even call him again.
One semester passed quickly, when Cao Xiong told Cao Yang unhappy that he received a call from Xia Rou, Xia Rou said that she would go on a trip with her classmates during the holidays and was not planning to come back, Cao Yang realized that Xia Rou The situation is serious.
At this time, he needs help.
He told Xia Rou's situation to Cao An, the only one in the family who could enter and exit freely.
Surprised, Cao An immediately put down the business at hand and flew to the city where Xiarou was.
A few days later, he called Cao Yang.
"She was very thin. When I first saw her, I was shocked." Cao An said. "She won't allow me to take pictures for you to see."
In fact, he didn't dare to tell Cao Yang that Xia Rou's appearance could almost be described as "shattered and erect".
"What happened to her?" Cao Yang asked in a deep voice.
"It's not just insomnia, I think..." Cao An was a little apprehensive, and said what he had observed, "There is something wrong with her mental state."
Cao Yang's heart seemed to be pinched.
"I have a classmate here who helped me make an appointment with a psychiatrist with a good reputation. I will tell you when I accompany her to see it." Cao An said.
During the waiting days, Cao Yang was very worried.
A few days later, Cao An called: "It's hard to explain, I'll fax you the medical record. You can read it yourself."
Cao Yang soon received a fax from Cao An.
There is Xiarou's signature authorization on the medical record, allowing the doctor to hand over her medical record to her family for review.
Cao Yang was smoking a cigarette, and the more he looked at it, the more he frowned.
Cao An called again: "Have you read it?"
"Look. What's going on here?"
"It's troublesome. She's depressed," Cao An said, "but the worst thing is, she's delusional."
Yes, Cao Yang has seen it from the medical records.
In Xia Rou's world, there are two of him.
According to Xia Rou's description, the doctor code-named the two him as "Yang" and "Elder Brother". Through the first in-depth conversation, the doctor preliminarily judged that "Yang" exists in reality, and "brother" is Xia Rou's imagination.
"I also talked to the doctor, and I explained... the matter between you two." Cao An tried his best to be tactful, "The doctor thinks that this is because she valued your status as an older brother too much in the past. Sometimes, I resisted in my heart. At the same time, because of this change in the relationship, you lost your brother's identity. But Rourou couldn't let go, so she imagined you to fill in."
Cao Yang had already thought of these when he saw the medical record.
It turned out that there was no third man at all. The man in Xia Rou's heart is him at all!
His heart felt like a needle prick.
He took a deep breath and ordered Cao An: "Bring her back!"
"No." Cao An said helplessly. "She refused. This is not the country, here... If I force her, any passer-by who sees it and calls the police, I will be locked up. At that time, you will have to bail me out."
Cao Yang only felt that his blood was surging, and he had nowhere to exert his strength. I hate Xia Rou for running so far to a place where he can't do anything!
"Then how do you arrange it?" He could only ask.
"The next appointment is in a week. I will see the doctor once a week." Cao An comforted him, "Brother, don't worry. Rourou is still very cooperative with the treatment, she actually understands it very well."
"The doctor said that a patient like her, who can realize that she is not in a good state, can actively seek help from the outside world, and actively cooperate with the treatment, is the best to be cured."
What a fart! ! !
Cao Yang was so angry that he kicked over the chair.
Ever since he passed through his teenage years, he has become more and more calm every day, and he has become more and more like a father. He hadn't been this restless for a long time.
He read the medical record several times.
[he? He's my "big brother" and always has been.]
[he? He is "Yang".]
[I thought he was "brother", but I made a mistake, he is not.]
["Brother"... already... can't find it...]
Every time Cao Yang read it, his heart felt like a knife was cut.
He recalled Xia Rou's once bright eyes, and his smile overflowed. The trust and closeness to him seemed to be born in the bone marrow.
He remembered that she came to this house alone, and he wanted to take care of her menstrual affairs, and he would hold every parent-teacher meeting. Her food, clothing, daily life, academic performance, and social circle are all taken care of by him with painstaking care.
For Xia Rou, perhaps, he has already surpassed the category of "elder brother"
The lonely Xia Rou, look at him, brother Yi, father... even, taking the place of mother.
She relied on him almost devoutly until... He held her in his arms as a man.
Cao Yang felt regret for the first time.
He called Xiarou.
"Come back." He said in a low voice, "I won't touch you."
"If you just want to be my sister, I'll be your big brother."
But Xia Rou's voice was full of sadness.
"I can't go back." She said, "I can't go back a long time ago."
"Never... never go back..."
Yes, some things once cross the line, there is no going back.
He had entered her once and turned her from a girl into a woman. Neither he nor she will forget this deep-rooted memory.
Even if he regretted it, he couldn't let the relationship between them go back to the past.
Cao Yang, his heart is cut like a knife.
Cao An returned to China after the second treatment.
"She worked really hard, really worked hard with treatment," he said. "You could tell she really wanted to get better."
"In the future, the doctor will fax you each medical record directly. The doctor may even call you. The treatment with family members will be more effective."
hope so.
Cao Yang smoked silently.
After Cao An left for half a month, Cao Xiong could no longer hide this matter.
Cao Xiong hadn't lost his temper like this for many years. He also called Xia Rou himself.
Cao Yang doesn't know what he and Xia Rou talked about. But Xia Rou still didn't come back, Cao Xiong just sighed and stopped forcing her.
After learning the result, Cao Yang walked out of Cao Xiong's study in disappointment.
Looking at the back of his elder brother silently smoking at the end of the corridor, Cao An also sighed.
Obviously a good thing. Xia Rou stayed in Cao's house and became a real member of their family. They no longer had to worry that she would be angry with other people's family when she married in the future.
But how could it get to such a point.
Obviously Xia Rou, with such a clear mind...
He remembered that he and she were feeding the ducks with bread crumbs by the clear river, and she mentioned He Chengzhe.
"He likes you. You like him too... why did you do this to him?" she asked.
"Shouldn't you be nicer to the person you like?"
"A person's life is full of accidents. I don't know when I will die suddenly."
"Even if you are very lucky and can live again, you will not be able to go back to the exact same past and find the exact same person."
"Those mistakes cannot be corrected."
"Those regrets can't be made up for..."
"Don't let yourself regret it."
At that time, Xia Rou looked at the water with a calm expression.
If she hadn't been too thin, it would have been impossible to tell that she was suffering from insomnia, depression, and paranoia.
Obviously, it looks so... sober.
Cao An also smoked a cigarette, and then called He Chengzhe: "I'm back. Where are you?"
"Well, I have something to tell you."
"Let's talk face to face..."
Under Xia Rou's authorization, the doctor sent the medical records to Cao Yang on time every week.
Cao Yang doesn't need to read the doctor's analysis report, just from those conversation records, he can taste Xia Rou's struggling pain.
"Brother", this man she imagined, is...too heavy for her, and is the source of all her pain.
As time passed week by week, Xia Rou's paranoia did not improve. But with the help of doctors, her insomnia began to improve.
The communication between the doctor and Xia Rou became more and more in-depth.
The deeper you go, the more lifelike the "brother" becomes. This man seemed to have existed in Xia Rou's life for many years.
This existence has been engraved into Xia Rou's bone marrow.
One day, the doctor asked Xia Rou an important question.
Doctor: [Do you love them? either of them?]
Xiarou: […]
Doctor: [No, I should ask questions separately.]
Doctor: [Do you love "Yang"?]
Xia Rou: [I... don't know...]
Doctor: [So, what about "brother"? This "brother", do you love him?]
The doctor noted alongside the note that the patient was silent for so long that he assumed the patient was refusing to answer the question.
But she finally answered.
[…]
[I... dare not.]
[Idonot...deserve.]
A corner of the fax paper was crushed by Cao Yang.
"Xiarou, why do you look down on yourself?" He asked her, very angry.
Xia Rou was silent.
"How are you worse than others? What have you done wrong? Xia Rou, you are just thinking wildly!"
"Don't you always want to know why I like you? Don't you always think that Wang Man is the best match for me? Let me tell you, no matter how good Wang Man is, so what! In my eyes, you are the best!"
"It's not just me. Who in the family is not good to you? Does anyone owe you something? No. Why treat you well? Because you deserve good from others!"
"Everyone has their own shortcomings, but they must also have their own advantages. You should not only see the strengths of others, but infinitely magnify your own weaknesses!"
"Don't underestimate yourself. It's not just good grades and a successful career! You have your good, because of these, you are you! Because of these, others will like you! Only then will they treat you well!"
"Xia Rou, come back! If you can't accept me and don't want to see me again, it's okay. I'm far away from you. You just need to live a good life by yourself. "
"Don't run so far. It's too far. You have something to do. I can't do anything."
"I don't ask you to be rich, I just want you to be safe and happy, there is a man who really knows how to cherish you, just love you!"
"Cao Yang..." Xia Rou's voice suddenly sounded from the phone, like raving, with a slight tremor at the end. "What did you say?"
"I told you to come back." Cao Yang said.
"No, the last sentence, what did you... say?" she said.
Cao Yang thought for a while and remembered.
"I don't ask you to be rich, I just want you to be safe and happy. There is a man who really knows how to cherish you and love you." He said, "In this way, let me know that when I am not by your side, someone will love you." I'll be at ease taking care of you."
"It doesn't matter who you end up with, or where. You know I'm here, always here. No matter what happens to you, you can come back to me."
"With big brother here, I can always protect you."
On the phone, he heard Xia Rou's breathing.
messy.
Since that day, Xia Rou's condition has gradually improved.
At dusk one day, she called, her voice still hoarse.
"Just woke up..." she said, "It's been a long sleep, I haven't slept so well in a long time..."
"Cao Yang, I miss you."
The doctor gave Cao Yang an analysis report.
The actual "Yang" and the "elder brother" who was conceived and stripped out based on "Yang" began to re-integrate.
Xia Rou's condition is getting better little by little.
Her work and rest gradually returned to normal, and her physical condition improved a lot.
"We're two catties heavier than last week," she said.
"Ten catties is not much." Cao Yang gritted his teeth, "Cao An said you are skinny to the bone."
Slowly, on the phone, Cao Yang could feel that the bright and cheerful Xia Rou seemed to be back.
He could hear her laughing again.
Although separated by oceans and thousands of mountains and rivers, it is still like the sound of nature.
She told him something about school that day. He told her a lot of daily attention and care.
She said, "Got it, brother."
After such a long time, I finally heard her call him "Big Brother" again.
Cao Yang's eye sockets suddenly became wet.
"Rourou." He called her back again, "It doesn't matter if you don't like me. Just be good, that's fine."
"No..." Xia Rou said.
"I want to understand... Cao Yang..." Her voice was as soft as a breeze, but she felt that she had never been so brave.
She mustered up the courage to say, "I like you."
"Then come back. Come back quickly!" Cao Yang gritted his teeth.
"Soon. It's almost over." Xia Rou said, "I'm going back soon. Cao Yang, wait for me."
"Well, wait for you."
It will be a long time until you come back.
little bastard!
Cao Yang hated him to death.
The day Xia Rou came back, the sky was clear and bright.
She doesn't want Cao Yang to pick her up at the airport. "I'm not a child," she said.
When Xiao Yang said that Xia Rou had arrived, Cao Yang strode into the lobby of the main building.
There she was, who happened to be wearing a black dress. Just like when she first came to this home.
But this time, there was no sadness on her body, and there was a sense of peace of mind of "I'm back" all over her body.
She looked at Cao Yang quietly, and slowly, slowly, she smiled.
"Brother," she called him, "I'm back."
The corners of Cao Yang's mouth tightened, and he looked at her fixedly.
Suddenly he strode forward and hugged her tightly in his arms!
"Little bastard!" he cursed.
His big hands clasped the back of her head, pressing her face on his shoulders. Buried in her hair, she took a deep breath.
It's all about her taste.
very good.
She is finally back.
Be safe and healthy.
"No more running!" he whispered.
"Well..." She closed her eyes, enjoying his broad shoulders. "No more running."
But was suddenly pushed away.
Opening her eyes, Cao Yang had already taken out a small velvet box from her pocket, opened it and threw it aside, and put the shining ring directly on her finger.
"My mother's ring," he said, "for the daughter-in-law. Wear this and it's mine."
Xia Rou's bright eyes are like crescent moons.
"Good!" she laughed.
Standing on tiptoe, kissed his lips.
How to understand lovesickness? Is one kiss enough
Naturally not enough.
Cao Yang hugged her too tightly, as if he wanted to embed her into his body. I want to carry her upstairs.
Xia Rou was startled, her face flushed red: "Brother!"
Cao Yang thought very much.
However, there was an unintelligent cough. Cao An held the door with one hand, leaned his body, and said in a ruffian way: "Hey, I didn't come at the right time?"
"Dad is waiting for you!" He rolled his eyes.
Cao Yang was helpless.
Xia Rou is happy. He took his hand and ran to the courtyard.
"Uncle—" she shouted with a smile, "second brother, third brother... I'm back!"
On the lawn, at the log dining table, Cao Xiong put down the newspaper, with a slight frost on his temples, Cao Bin and Cao Xing smiled, looking at the cheerful girl running over...
Once, she came to this home wearing black mourning clothes.
Soon, she will come to this home again wearing a white wedding dress.
This time, forever, be a part of this family.
[End of the full text]
The full text is over, there are no extra episodes.
—Ding Youchun sleeve side