"After Farewell"
Ran Feize has experienced many separations in his life. If there is a meeting, there will naturally be a separation, which he has always thought very openly.
In fact, it is not that he can think of it, to be precise, it should be helpless, and he can accept this helplessness.
The parting from my parents when I was a child, and the parting from my master after I became an adult, these are helpless and eternal, and I will never see each other again.
Not to mention the partings of countless friends and acquaintances, those Ran Feize have never been concerned about sadness. Dependent origination, karma extinction, gathering and separation, it's normal, but he didn't take it to heart.
He has always been alone, and he thinks he will grow old alone. Even if he received the apprentice, he didn't plan to spend the rest of his life with the apprentice. After the apprentice became successful, he would travel around the world like his master.
His life was originally arranged this way.
However, that day, he met his girl.
He doesn't want to be alone anymore.
He wanted to be with his girl until old age.
However, she said no.
no? He was a little flustered.
He clearly saw the affection for him in her eyes, and he clearly felt her love and attachment to him. Why not? He was not convinced, he just wanted to stay with her.
As a result, she said that her hometown is too far away, it is two worlds away, and the distance is not measurable. She was going back after all, and he couldn't reach that place. She said that if you knew from the beginning that the ending was cruel, then why would you deceive yourself that you can stay together and stay sad.
So, no.
Can't you? But even though the ending was cruel, he still loved her to the death. Besides, she was right in front of him, seeing from time to time, day by day, her heart was unbearable, but she couldn't hold her in his arms. Isn't this cruel? The cruelty of the future has to be put in advance to the present, just as sad. Since both sides are sad, why can't they be together
Ran Feize believes that he is not a coward. He thinks he is brave enough, he has the courage to bear such sorrow, and he also has the courage to keep some hope. What if, he was thinking, what if they could not separate in the end? Not grasping the present well, and being delayed by the possibility of the future that has not happened yet, this kind of thing is too stupid, isn't it
He has enough courage, he can't accept this.
And his girl was finally as brave as him.
They finally came together. They became relatives, he was her husband, she was his wife.
He embraced her to sleep every day, cooked for her, took her to many places, he told stories for her, he liked to watch her laugh, and he liked to tease her, making her pouting and playing tricks on him.
He thought that he was really stupid in the past, how could he think about living alone until he grows old, such a life is really no fun. Now, with his girl with him, whether drinking water or breathing, he has become happy.
But no matter how happy you are, the shadow is still there. She knew, and he knew too, that parting would come one day.
They are powerless to stop.
Ran Feize comforted himself that even if his girl didn't go back to her hometown, she would still have birth, old age, sickness and death, and parting would come sooner or later. Therefore, he should not panic and complain. He can be with her as long as he can, and if he can live the days together, it will be forever.
Although he thinks like this from time to time and encourages himself like this from time to time, when the parting really comes, he is caught off guard.
That night he embraced her to sleep, his hand held hers, he was in a good mood, she was still by his side, he slept soundly, and was not disturbed by anything at all, not even a dream.
But when he woke up, his girl was gone.
Dressed in clothes and a bracelet with a red thread, she lay quietly beside him, and she was gone.
He didn't move, just lay there silently watching the empty space beside him. In fact, he couldn't move, his mind was empty and unresponsive. He couldn't think, couldn't move.
After a long time, heartache rushed up and drowned him.
He thought that the feeling should be just pain, not sadness, not panic, not despair. Just feel--pain.
He just lay there, his posture unchanged, as if she was still in his arms, and he was still holding her hand. In fact, he even felt that she was with him not far away. She is still awake in her hometown now, so she must be accompanying him like he did to her. They are not separated, just exist in different places.
Ran Feize lay down for a long time and finally got up. He folded his girl's clothes, put them in the suitcase, and put her red thread bracelet in his arms. Then he washes, cooks, and seems to be doing business as usual.
They said yes, the day of separation will come eventually, but they need to know each other that they are all well, and that's fine.
He had experienced this before. At that time, it was actually more tragic than this time, because she died in front of him that time, but he didn't find the body. Like this time, he put away her things and tried to calm down. It's just that he really didn't have confidence in her at that time. He was full of hope, he waited, he found a lot of things to do, he worked hard to forge weapons, and he kept himself busy for a moment. That time, he waited half a year.
But this time was different. This time, nothing happened to her. Ran Feize stopped eating. He was stunned for a while. He thought that he was wrong just now. It wasn't the last time that it was more tragic, it should be this time.
This time, it was as peaceful as -- farewell.
Ran Feize emptied the rest of the rice. He went to chop wood, fetch water, wiped the inside and outside of the house with a rag, and checked all the furniture again. . After finishing everything, the sky is still not dark, time flies really slowly.
Ran Feize went out for a walk, but not far, just like the distance he took his girl for a walk when he was still there. He remembered what the girl said to him when he walked under the tree, he remembered helping her stand up and smelling the flowers when he reached the mound, and he still remembered that they went all the way to the river, which was full of flowers The unknown little flower, she said it was beautiful and she liked it. He looked at her at the time and told her that according to the world's eyes, a girl is never a beauty, but he likes it.
The old husband and wife, she was still blushing. The way she pretends to be angry is so cute, she says she is a beauty, and the aesthetics here are too problematic. He was made to laugh, his girl, he really liked it.
Ran Feize walked around, not far away, but when he came back to his senses, it was already dark.
Ran Feize returned to the house and cooked for himself. He can't go hungry, his girl knows that he will be blamed. He thought that his girl would also take good care of herself in her hometown, because she knew that if she wasn't nicer to him, he would be angry.
The food was still cooked as usual, but he couldn't taste it, he just filled his stomach. Then he washes the dishes and cleans the house, and then he takes a bath and cleans himself, his girl likes clean, he knows.
When he got into bed, he couldn't fall asleep, and there was nothing around him. He was really not used to it. He pulled a quilt and hugged him in his arms. Although it wasn't as comfortable as his girl's hug, it was better than nothing. He said to his girl in his heart, "Xiao Pei, you're not too used to it. It's okay, don't cry and sleep well. Tomorrow is a new day."
A new day, will there be new hope
The result is no.
The next day was the same as this day, lonely, boring, and painful.
The day on the third day is also normal, empty, lonely, and inner pain.
The fourth day is also normal.
Day 5, day 6, day 7... it's still the same.
Ran Feize waited for a month and nothing happened, so he started packing. No matter where he is, when his girl comes back, she will fall by his side, every time, so he thinks, he can leave.
Get out of here and go somewhere closer to her.
In this way, when she can come back, will there be less travel and less hard work
Ran Feize sorted out the big burden and packed it properly. Before leaving, he wrote a letter to each of Ji Shiba and Bai Yulang. He couldn't figure out why this letter was written. He seldom left letters to his friends. I think he should explain.
He didn't say anything about his girl's departure, he only said that he and the girl went east and don't know when they will return. Don't worry about it. He asked Bai Yulang to do his job well, and instructed Ji Shiba to remember to help him pass on his craftsmanship. The two letters were very simple. He quickly finished writing them, packed his bags, walked to the next city, and asked someone to deliver the letters. Ran Feize felt relieved, as if everything was over. He can go all the way east in peace.
Su Xiaopei said that her hometown is in the far east. Su Xiaopei also said that she came from another world, which Ran Feize could not reach.
Ran Feize remembered all these, but whether he could reach it or not, he still wanted to go east. In the far east, there is his girl.
Ran Feize has gone to many places. He will stop and look at the beautiful scenery, hoping that if he can see the girl again, he can tell her where the scenery is very good, and he wants to take her there. He would stop when he saw interesting towns, and he thought that if he could see the girl again, he would definitely take her to live here. When he sees food sellers, he thinks of girls, when he sees puppies fighting, he thinks of girls, when he sees government yamen, he thinks of girls, and when he sees people wearing Confucian clothes and hats, he thinks of girls.
He has been thinking of her all the time, he dare not think about it, he is afraid of forgetting.
He kept walking, not daring to stop, and kept going east.
Every time he went to a place, he would inquire about the local Yuelao Temple. There is Yue Lao in the girl's hometown, and Yue Lao sent her to him. Why didn't Yue Lao jump out and say to him, your destined person is in another place, and I will send you there.
If so, he will definitely say to him: "Don't delay, hurry up."
Unfortunately, the old moon never appeared. He went through a temple to worship a temple, and only worshipped the old man. But he never asked for an autograph, he didn't need it, but he already knew it, but he didn't want to despair.
Although she disappeared, he just refused to despair. The last time I waited for half a year, the girl came back. It's just waiting, he can stand it. His girl had him in his heart, how could he despair
He went east and kept going east.
He had come so far, he couldn't remember how far. He passed through many landscapes, met many people, was hungry and injured, helped many people, and received help from many people. He climbed mountains, crossed rivers, and crossed towns. He doesn't walk fast. He likes to look at trees, especially tall and sturdy trees. Every time his girl appears on the tree, he sees countless trees, and sometimes he even jumps on the tree and sits on it. , but his girl never showed up.
He went east. Along the way, he met a girl who adored him, and he met people who were close to him. He always smiled and said, "I'm so sorry, I have a wife, and she went back to her parents' house for a short stay. I'm going to pick her up."
"Where is she?" many people asked him.
"In the east," he replied. He smiled brightly and answered calmly. His pain was buried in his heart, and others could not see it. He only envied that she must be a good girl with good luck.
On that day, Ran Feize passed another Yuelao Temple, and he went in to worship as usual. When he came out, he saw an old man smiling at him: "Does this strong man want to make a fortune?"
Ran Feize shook his head, bowed his hands to him, and prepared to leave.
"The marriage of a strong man is very dangerous, and it is difficult to persevere. It is fortunate that the nobles can help you, and you can achieve your wish only by relying on your heart and ambition."
Ran Feize paused and turned to look at him. "Who are you?"
The old man didn't answer, but asked with a smile, "Where is the strong man going?"
"East."
"The strong man knows that he can't get to the east."
Ran Feize's heart jumped, he took a deep breath, and replied, "There is nowhere to go, only to the east."
"The sky is so big, how can there be nowhere to go?"
"The sky is huge, I just want to go east."
The old man laughed: "Go ahead then."
Ran Feize frowned, not knowing what this person meant. "Who are you?" he asked again.
The old man still didn't answer, he just said, "The strong man has a heart, so go east. If she can be as affectionate as you are, and the red lines are continuous, maybe there is a miracle in heaven."
Ran Feize's heart was beating wildly. This man spoke as if he was a Taoist Jiuling. There are also experts outside the gate of divine calculation? He clenched his fists at the old man and said thank you Ji Yan.
Ran Feize left, walked out for a while, pondered the old man's words carefully, and then turned back, the old man was gone. Ran Feize suddenly felt very confident. If the girl was more affectionate with him than Jin Jian, then there was nothing wrong with him. He never doubted his girl's affection for him.
He went all the way east and he missed her.
He's not desperate, but he's also tired. He was going to climb over a big mountain that day, and there was nothing to see under the mountain. Only when he entered the mountain did he realize that it was a strange danger. His water was gone and he felt thirsty. It rained suddenly in the sky, he laughed, God was really kind to him, girl, do you know
He was drenched and slippery, and he rolled down the hill. He got up covered in mud, he didn't think he was hurt, but he felt very tired, he leaned against a tree and fell asleep. In a daze, he could not remember what happened.
How long has he been gone? What has he been through
He couldn't remember a little, he was just tired, very tired. He also missed his girl, very much. "Girl, I've lost a lot of weight, don't you feel bad? You must feel bad, don't feel bad, so I will feel bad too."
He misses her, misses her. He thought he was asleep. "Xiao Pei." Her name was in his mouth. He is not desperate, he has her in his heart, how can he be desperate
He fell asleep.
After the reunion, Su Xiaopei asked him, "Have you ever suffered?"
He thought about it, did he suffer? He is not suffering, he just keeps going east, where is suffering? She has been with him all the time, but she doesn't know it herself. She was in his heart and never left, she was with him, how could he suffer. He did not suffer.
If there is such a beloved person, it is worth you to keep going east, how can you feel that it is suffering
Love is stronger than gold, and the red line is constant. He was very happy, very happy.
She was by his side.