At dusk, Xie Lanshan sat alone at the dining table. There was nothing on the table, not a dish or a glass of water. The corners of the table were worn out with mottled marks of the years, and the table was square.
The night was sinking fast, and the last rays of light slipped in from the window and enveloped his face.
This is where A-Xia told him. Every city seems to have a blind corner that the police can't control, where many addicts live, like mycelium growing mold here.
His body was extremely heavy, as if a scalding hot lead water had poured down the soles of his feet from his head. I don't know if it was full of sweat or tears. Xie Lanshan's face was drenched with water, and his forehead was wet. The re-ripped wound has not been treated, and he still has a fever, which is still very bad.
Xie Lanshan stared blankly ahead, but there was nothing in front of him.
The blind little girl's "good man" touched his soft underbelly. These two words swirled in his mind like quicksand. He tried to fight against it, but he felt that he was constantly being pulled by force and was miserable.
One inch, two inches, the light slowly moved back, like the remnants of flames lingering in the hearth, and another inch, two inches, and finally there was only darkness in the room.
His eyes had adapted to this despairing darkness, but the moment he raised his heavy eyelids, a strong light suddenly burst out in front of him, the light radiating like thousands of silver lines, and he saw a man in this light. A man who looks exactly like him, or rather, himself.
Xie Lanshan never thought that he would meet this man face to face in such a situation. For a moment, he thought that he was either burnt out or was really going crazy. What he saw was nothing but an illusion.
However, it is absolutely true that he is sitting in front of him at this moment - Xie Lanshan is sitting in front of Xie Lanshan.
Xie Lanshan had wet hair and drooping shoulders, and his white shirt was covered with blood and ash, and he was completely embarrassed. The man sitting opposite him was dressed in a straight navy blue police uniform, with neat short hair and deep eyes under the police cap. His eyes were firm and gentle, and his face was lightly shrouded by this layer of soft white light, so holy like a Buddha.
Amused by this playful confrontation scene, Xie Lanshan snorted lightly, and twitched the corners of his mouth with a smile that was not a smile: "It's you."
The other party replied, "It's me."
Xie Lanshan approached the face exactly like himself, put his palms together, and begged like a helpless child, "Can you tell me who you are and who am I?"
The other party smiled slightly: "I'm not you."
"No, you're not..." Xie Lanshan opened his eyes in panic and shook his head blankly, "They said I'm not you, and I don't know who I am..."
In the definitions of the vast majority of people in this world, good and evil are in different directions, and heroes and villains have never been synonymous.
For the anti-narcotics police officer Xie Lanshan, if there was no fatal accident, he should have successfully completed the task and triumphed as a hero; if there was no such absurd operation, he should also return to his homeland in the name of a martyr, his urn. The meeting is covered with a bright red national flag, and pine branches and flowers are placed in front of his tomb. After a few years, people will still cherish it with sympathy and sympathy.
As for Ye Shen, a death row inmate, a murderer with many bloody cases, he should have felt very fortunate. He was born to death because of this operation, and thus obtained all the abilities of a special police officer. Get away with it.
But he still felt pain.
The man looked at him tenderly and told him firmly: "Then follow your heart."
What is the heart? Xie Lanshan tried to think for a moment, then shook his head and muttered to himself like a dream: "But... it's too painful..."
Looking at the man in front of him with an ignorant and cowardly look, looking at this familiar and unfamiliar self, Xie Lanshan shed a line of tears, he really didn't understand, and so desperately wanted to understand, he asked him: " Don't you think it's too bitter... No one remembers your sacrifices, your sacrifices are taken for granted, you are carrying a load on such a lonely road, you can't be understood and can't complain... It's too painful to be a good person... Really too painful… "
The other party seemed to have already understood all this, and just smiled: "But isn't this our destiny?"
Xie Lanshan frowned slightly, his eyes full of confusion and confusion.
"From the moment we cry out of the mother's body to the death of dust, isn't the beginning and end of life like this, loneliness, helplessness, incomprehension, and inability to choose... And it is thousands of ordinary people who connect the two. My life is probably the same.” Xie Lanshan saw the smile in the other’s eyes and handed him a palm, he said, “I choose to live a life in a way that is different from others. The highest tribute.
A ray of light suddenly appeared in the chaotic darkness of the crowd, and the memories of the anti-drug police officer became clearer. He also stretched out his hand and tried to touch this illusion.
We are born alone, and ultimately surpass loneliness.
We are born to be selfish, and eventually break through ourselves.
We gain insight into the most humble and insidious evils of human nature, and finally cross the abyss to share in the grand deed of kindness.
Without me, it's not you, Xie Lanshan closed his eyes gently and seemed to really feel the slight heat from the touch of his skin.
Then he heard a familiar voice calling him, calling him by his name: "Xie Lanshan!"
Shen Liufei's voice.
He opened his eyes in the darkness, like two clusters of rekindled sparks, emitting more and more radiant light.
Shen Liufei arrived here under the guidance of Zang Yifeng. He wanted to go door-to-door to investigate and investigate, but the more he searched, the more impatient he became. In the end, he shouted out indifferently.
Xie Lanshan heard it, followed the sound and went out, facing the two men who came for him.
Zang Yifeng stood in front of his enemy, ignoring the previous fake pattern, he cut to the chase and stared at him coldly: "I'm Zhuo Tian's boyfriend."
"I remember her." Xie Lanshan nodded, without much excuse, he walked slowly to Zang Yifeng, and then knelt down in front of him.
The two men were startled at the same time. This unexpected kneeling action was to acknowledge his identity as Ye Shen. Zang Yifeng's anger rose from his heart, and he kicked Xie Lanshan's injured shoulder with a kick.
Being kicked down, Xie Lanshan didn't make a sound, but reluctantly got up again and knelt up in front of the man.
"I'll kill you! I'll kill you! Why do you treat her like this? It's not you, maybe she won't die!" Zang Yifeng even had the heart to kill him, so how could he let this one go to avenge Zhuo Tian? With a good chance, he kicked Xie Lanshan again, kicked him down, and then stepped on his stomach heavily, crushing it with the soles of his feet a few times.
Spitting out a mouthful of sour water, Xie Lanshan got up again. Out of a kind of self-redemption mentality, he never fought back from beginning to end, letting Zang Yifeng's fists and feet rain down on him.
Every punch and every kick the opponent did not spare, but Xie Lanshan didn't feel the pain, instead he was happy.
Shen Liufei had a complicated impression of this man, he stood quietly and did not interfere. He looked at him, watched him get knocked down again and again and got up again and again, always keeping his head bowed and kneeling, watching a hole in the corner of his mouth, oozing out a strand of blood.
Those shared memories are being revived.
Shen Liufei's dark eyes were like two clusters of flames burning, gradually breaking through the hazy state, and at the end of his love, it was as bright as day.
"I'll kill you! I'll kill-"
"Enough." Xie Lanshan still knelt on the ground with his head bowed, suddenly clasped his hands together, and firmly clamped Zang Yifeng's fist that hit his face again. He slowly raised his head, raised his eyebrows and smiled at the other party, showing amorous feelings and fancy in the extreme embarrassment, "I'm so handsome, how can you be willing to do it."
Shen Liufei was amused by this scene, the corner of his mouth raised, he knew that his memory had come back, and so did his Xie Lanshan.
At this moment, Xie Lanshan was sober and self-conscious, but he threw Zang Yifeng to the ground. Before the other party got up, he held Zang Yifeng under him with an absolute advantage, but looked into his eyes and promised seriously: "Don't fight for now, I owe you what I owe you, and I will pay it back after my task is completed. you."
This look was different from the one they had been with before, bright, warm and firm. Zang Yifeng was shocked by this look, and nodded involuntarily.
Letting go, Xie Lanshan staggered to his feet, raised his hand to wipe the blood on his mouth, and staggered towards Shen Liufei not far away.
When he came to the other side, he lowered his head and leaned forward, put his forehead against the other side's shoulder, and called him softly, "Brother Xiao Shen."
Shen Liufei raised his hand, caressed Xie Lanshan's back, and then exerted force to embrace him completely.
Such a warm and powerful hug finally made him feel at ease, Xie Lanshan closed his eyes and repeated softly: "I want to be a good person..."
I want to be a good person.