Are problems of survival and order solved only in doomsday myths
The candlelight was dim, and the image of Wen Qing in front of him was separated by a layer of frosted glass, no, it was like a layer of indifferent moonlight.
He was closing his eyes and tacitly wishing, Tao Ling looked straight at him, and suddenly such a question popped into his mind. This question has nothing to do with the present, but at this moment, Tao Ling feels that he is outside the world.
If the end comes, he is willing to die immediately, in order to escape this chaotic world and life without light. With an upright attitude, break free from the senseless existence and senseless order.
But there is no end now, and there is Wen Qingying in this world.
The first moment Wen Qingying opened her eyes, she saw Tao Ling's eyelashes trembling. It seems to be frightened, but the person is calm, only this slight movement is fleeting.
Was he in a daze just now? What are you thinking when you are in a daze
Wen Qingying put her hand under the table, and gently squeezed the fingers of her left hand with her right hand.
Catching Wen Qingying's gaze, Tao Ling finally got out of his messy thoughts. He felt that he was not far from going crazy, and he didn't want to be beautiful and think of the end.
He smiled as usual, pointed to the candle, and signaled Wen Qingying to blow it off.
Wen Qingying raised her fingers to compare one, two, three, and counted to three, and the two of them blew out the light together.
"Happy birthday Wen Qingying, I wish you to find the meaning of life." Tao Ling said clearly in the dark.
Two seconds later, the lights in the room came back on.
"It's really a meal this time! It's time!" Tao Ling looked a little excited.
Wen Qingying smiled and opened a can of wine for him.
Silently eating, two cans of wine bottomed out, the red wine was opened, and his head was slightly dizzy, Tao Ling began to speak without expecting a response.
"Wen Qingying, you are so young. You are twenty-four years old. I think about what I was doing when I was twenty-four years old. Oh yes, I was in the third year of graduate school when I was twenty-four years old."
He held the cup and bumped with Wen Qingying. Wen Qingying looked as if she had never drank, her expression was the same as usual, and she looked at him seriously.
Tao Ling smiled and said, "It's good to be twenty-four years old. At that time, that bastard, Tao Jun, was still alive. It was so funny. There was a time when I broke down writing my master's thesis. When he wanted to take me out, I would beat him up. One day I said I wanted to die, but I was just joking. Whoever wrote the dissertation didn't say that he wanted to die, but damn, he dragged me to the top of their company's building, on the 22nd floor, and told me you jump..."
"He said he would forget me immediately after I danced, and I disappeared completely."
"He's too fierce, isn't he?" Tao Ling smugly put on the cup and whispered, "Secretly tell you, it's his birthday in two days, but it's not the birthday of the dead. It's too unfair, he won't let me die. died."
After saying this, Tao Ling sighed, still smiling, and said, "I'm sorry, it's your birthday today, but I'm still saying this, but fortunately you didn't hear it... I'm sorry, that's not what I meant... But I haven't been here for a long time. I've had dinner with people at home, and it feels amazing."
The wine in the glass was exhausted again, and Tao Ling wanted to pour it again, but when his hand just caught the bottleneck, Wen Qingying suddenly raised his hand, and the whole palm of his hand covered the back of his hand, preventing him from moving.
Tao Ling's heart was stagnant, he looked down at his hand, and after a while he stretched out his other hand, grabbed his fingers, and opened it little by little.
This process is long, the palm of the hand is on the back of the hand, and no one is willing to admit defeat and move first. At the end, Wen Qingying suddenly figured it out, and slightly relaxed, Tao Ling finally took his hand away smoothly, and put it on the table, without moving for a long time.
Hands are still stacked together, as if holding.
After a long time, Tao Ling realized that the action was wrong, he quietly backed away, knowing that he was a little drunk.
While he could still type, he dragged his phone over to write, "It's too late."
It's too late... and then what
Tao Ling frowned, his fingers resting on the phone screen, forgetting what he was going to say.
Wen Qingying looked at him for a while, then went to pick up the bottle again, but instead of trying to stop him from drinking, he took the initiative to fill two wine glasses.
Tao Ling gave a thumbs up, got up and picked up two bottles of wine from the cabinet next to him, sat back, put the bottle on the table with a thud, and said loudly, "If you don't get drunk, you won't go home!"
By the end of the night, Tao Ling was already confused. He lay down at the table for a while, suddenly remembered something, and stumbled to his feet to pull Wen Qingying.
Wen Qingying finally appeared drunk, but she looked much more sober than Tao Ling. Without struggling at all, he followed Tao Ling's strength and got up and followed him.
The two went to the study holding hands. At this time, no one felt that there was anything wrong with this action. They even used each other's hands to entangle each other's hands, for fear of breaking away.
Tao Ling walked in front and said, "I'll take you to see the rose, you gave it to me, and it's still alive."
After entering the study, Tao Ling finally let go of Wen Qingying.
He fumbled to turn on the light, walked to the balcony to open the floor-to-ceiling windows, Wen Qingying had been following behind him, was startled, and hurriedly pinched his wrist.
Tao Ling struggled for a while, but didn't let it go, he was almost breathless with laughter. He turned to look at Wen Qingying, pointed at the balcony, and motioned him to look out.
There is a small pot of Chinese roses on the edge of the balcony. It is almost winter, but the flowers and leaves are still lush.
Tao Ling said complacently, "It's amazing, isn't it?"
Wen Qingying smiled, understood what he meant, and let go a little embarrassedly.
Tao Ling took two steps forward, stood by the floor-to-ceiling window to watch the night, turned back again, and saw Qingying bending slightly, looking at a wooden shelf in the corner of the wall.
On that shelf stood a glass jar with a pile of shards of vases in it.
Tao Ling wanted to walk beside him, but when he lifted his foot, he accidentally stumbled on the edge of the carpet, staggered, and the person rushed over.
Wen Qingying took a step forward to take it, and Tao Ling bumped into his arms.
After a two-second pause, Tao Ling rubbed his face on Wen Qingying's shoulder.
He only felt that his chest was very warm, and his mind was sticky. He knew that he should let go, but he couldn't let it go.
After a moment of silence, he seemed to be looking for something, and because he was greedy for the temperature, he even leaned forward again. Just as he always thought that the quilt was not tight enough when he went to bed every night, he also wanted to be tightly wrapped at this moment.
to escape the world.
Wen Qingying froze, her hands propped up behind his back, and kept a little distance from her. It wasn't until he realized that Tao Ling was silently seeking a hug, he gently folded his arms and wrapped them around his back.
"You're looking at this," Tao Ling smiled, his eyes fell on the glass jar over his shoulder, and he said intermittently, "This, this is Tao Jun's vase, it's broken. I picked it up and put it in the glass jar... "
"The glass jar is full of broken moons, and it's hard to pick them up."
"I have a tank of broken moons," he said.
Wen Qingying tightened her arms again, and spread her hands completely over his back, as if trying to cover him completely. Tao Ling's forehead was on the side of his neck, and his breath fell on his skin, which was hot.
Qiuyue was bright, and spying on the study outside the balcony, a few cold white frosts wanted to enter the room, but were brutally dispelled by the lights in the room.
Or merge into one.
"Wen Qingying," Tao Ling was still mumbling drunk words, "I don't have the moon anymore, my brother died... I haven't had the moon since he died."
"Actually, I don't think it's interesting for me to live, but I, I don't dare to die, no one will remember him when I die."
"Last time you asked me what was going on. You asked me about the relationship between studying religion and life. I really, I haven't had a good life at all."
"Wen Qingying, Wen Qingying, your name sounds so nice... Wen Qingying," Tao Ling's last whisper was, "Happy birthday."
The person in his arms was completely silent, and after a few minutes, Wen Qingying patted his arm twice, but there was no response. After confirming that he really fell asleep standing, Wen Qingying couldn't help but smile.
However, the smile only lasted for a moment, and the corners of the mouth quickly converged, and the lips pursed into a straight line.
He stood quietly in the same place to support Tao Ling, feeling the temperature of his body, which was very real. But because I was drunk, I saw that things were already blooming, and this hug was also like a dream.
The moonlight was silent, the world was silent, Wen Qingying lowered her head and dropped a kiss on Tao Ling's head.