Insomnia

Chapter 47: touch

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Tao Ling let out a light breath: "What do you mean? Xia Chaoyang didn't tell you that he was gay until the divorce?"

"Speaking." Jue Xia smiled bitterly, "But in fact, everything he does... From my observation, I know that it may be scary to say this, but I have a strong desire to control, but I didn't show it in front of him. , even if I don't tell me about his state, I know it... I knew it before he told me the truth."

Tao Ling nodded and didn't show any big reaction to her words, which seemed to make her relieved.

"Before he divorced, he told me that he was gay, he said he would leave all his property to me, and I said if he could not leave, I... I am willing to... " Jue Xia looked down at the crumpled tissue in her hand, "but he said he couldn't do it. Arrived, he wanted me to live a normal life."

"Actually, I should have expected it a long time ago. I got married not long after I met him. He is so good, no matter where he is, so good that he doesn't look like someone in real life." Jue Xiawu shook his head, "Everyone else said We respect each other like guests, and I envy that we don’t quarrel, but I didn’t know until after I got married that respecting each other like guests means literally.”

silence. Tao Ling lowered his head and played with Wen Qingying's hand, broke his fingers, pressed one against the other, and spoke after a long time, "Can you talk about this ring?"

Before Jue Xia opened his mouth, he said, "Sister Jue Xia, you are so good, there's no need to belittle yourself and put yourself in that position."

Jue Xia was stunned for a while, before answering after a while: "Some people's feelings are like this. You and your boyfriend are in love, and you may not understand my feelings. I sometimes feel that I am worshiping him, and I know this mentality. It's not healthy, but there's nothing I can do to change that."

Tao Ling was stunned for a moment, and the hand that squeezed Wen Qingying's finger suddenly stopped. He pondered this sentence carefully, and suddenly realized something from it.

Jue Xia rubbed the tissue and continued the previous topic: "The store where he went to get the ring is in Huai City. I went over and asked. The owner said that the ring was made by a gay couple, and I didn't have any more. Asked."

Having said that, there seems to be nothing more to say. Tao Ling finally asked: "Are you still going to find him? The Chinese New Year is coming soon."

"I don't know." Jue Xia said absentmindedly.

After a few minutes, Tao Ling and Jue Xia spoke at the same time—

"Can I go see your brother?"

"Can you tell me the exact location of that store?"

"it is good."

After closing the door early in the afternoon, Tao Ling was worried about Wen Qingying and wanted to say that he would not be allowed to go to the cemetery with him, but in anticipation of the result, he simply didn't say it.

Afraid of squeezing Wen Qingying's bandaged wound, the three took a taxi to the suburbs.

Standing in front of Tao Jun's tomb for a long time, Jue Xia said, "Actually, you and your brother are still different."

Tao Ling nodded: "The difference is quite big."

After a long silence, Jue Xia asked, "Your brother... how did he..."

There was no expression on Tao Ling's face, but the blue veins on his neck were highlighted. Wen Qingying raised his hand in tacit understanding, Tao Ling squeezed his wrist and said calmly, "I'm sick."

"I don't know why. At first, it was just a cold, but it didn't get better. After a while, I forced me to go to the hospital. Suddenly, I said that my heart was not good. Suddenly, I said... I couldn't save it."

Tao Ling said with a shallow smile: "I don't know why."

"I'm sorry." Jue Xia said.

Tao Ling leaned towards Wen Qingying's side, and Wen Qingying held him by the shoulder.

"It's okay," he said.

After leaving the cemetery, Jue Xia immediately said goodbye to the two of them, and no one asked her where she was going or what she planned to do.

On the way back, sitting side by side in the back seat, Tao Ling sent a message: "I want to go to Huai City."

Wen Qingying nodded.

Tao Ling looked at his right hand wrapped in gauze, and felt so distressed that it would be more difficult to communicate now. However, Wen Qingying seemed to want to prove it to him. He took out his mobile phone with one hand to type, and the speed was still very fast.

"Look, sir, my left hand is also very flexible," he wrote.

Tao Ling smiled: "But you can't hug me now."

Wen Qingying glanced at the driver in the driver's seat, bowed her head and replied, "I can."

He put away the phone and stretched out his hand from behind Tao Ling. Tao Ling was sitting right behind the driver's seat, in a place where the driver couldn't see it, he turned his hand gently, just to hold it with him.

That's how it went.

Although they have been together for a while, they actually go back to their respective homes every day. Today is a special situation, and the two of them did not discuss it. Tao Ling told the driver and the car went directly to the community where Wen Qingying lived.

Going upstairs, Tao Ling took the key from Wen Qingying's pocket to open the door. Before he could change his shoes when he entered the house, he immediately turned around and grabbed Wen Qingying's neck, asking for a kiss that was almost suffocating.

Avoiding Wen Qingying's injury and leaning over to hug him, Tao Ling let out a long sigh and quickly pressed his eyes on his shoulder.

Wen Qingying held him in her arms with one hand, and kept kissing the top of his head to soothe his emotions.

After a long time, Tao Ling pulled some distance away. He bent over to take off Wen Qingying's shoes, but Wen Qingying was startled and immediately grabbed him.

He was so short that he couldn't go down, Tao Ling struggled for a while but did not break free. After a moment of stalemate, he took Wen Qingying's hand and kissed his fingertips.

Looking up to see Wen Qingying's expression a little nervous, as if she was a marginal student who was suddenly "concerned" by the teacher, Tao Ling couldn't help laughing.

He crouched down stubbornly and said to himself, "Am I willing to know? I'd do anything for you. Don't look at me like that and seduce me to commit crimes, you bad boy."

Looking down, he could only see the top of Tao Ling's head. He had already moved his hand. In order to prevent him from squatting on the ground for a long time, Wen Qingying had to cooperate.

When Tao Ling wasn't paying attention, he lowered his eyelashes, and a soft light shone in his eyes, as if the fog would condense into rain with a slight shake.

Wen Qingying usually does dinner together, but today he injured his hand, and when such an important matter is handed over to Tao Ling, it can only be turned into boiled noodles.

Fortunately, Wen Qingying has never been picky.

After the meal, Tao Ling briefly said Jue Xia's words, and then the two were silent for a long time.

He leaned his head on Wen Qingying's shoulder and let his thoughts run wildly. Finally, Wen Qingying sent a message and asked, "Sir, shall we go to Huai City tomorrow? How?"

"What about the store?" Tao Ling asked.

Wen Qingying: "Anyway, it only takes two days to come and go. Don't you want me to accompany you, sir? I want to accompany you."

Tao Ling sighed: "This time is the best time for business."

Wen Qingying just smiled.

Tao Ling said again, "Let's drive."

The two are together, but the private space is still the same as before. It is only quiet for a relatively short time every night when they are free, so they can't help but want to hug and kiss when they are together.

Today's intimacy feels softer than ever, but Tao Ling always feels that there is something empty.

It was time to wash up before going to bed, and Tao Lingcai began to worry about Wen Qingying's washing up.

He asked, "How about taking a shower?"

Without waiting for Wen Qingying's reply, she said, "I'll help you?"

Wen Qingying was stunned for a moment, put the phone on the coffee table, and typed: "Sir, I can do it myself, just help me take off my upper clothes."

"But you can't touch your wound at all," Tao Ling wrote.

The two sides fell silent at the same time. In fact, he really wanted to ask Tao Ling to help Wen Qingying take a bath. He was really embarrassed, so he finally had to make a suggestion: "Why don't you take a bath today? I'll wipe your body and then wash your feet. ."

Wen Qingying pursed her lips, Tao Ling got up and pulled him, saying, "That's it."

Entering the bathroom one after the other, Wen Qingying turned into a large doll, at the mercy of Taoling.

Tao Ling took off the outer layer of his clothes and tried to maintain a calm face, but he couldn't take off the tight sweater inside.

The two were in a hurry for a while, and after their eyes met inadvertently, they laughed at the same time.

Tao Ling couldn't stop laughing, leaned into Wen Qingying's arms, and took a long time to put it away.

Strange to say, after laughing, they didn't seem so embarrassed to each other, and this time the action went smoothly.

Then Tao Ling twisted the hot towel.

This is the first time, seeing Wen Qingying's body so unobtrusively, although hugging is more tangible, it is obviously more impactful.

Wen Qingying used to like to exercise, but now the flower shop is working every day, so the muscle lines have not disappeared at all, thin and smooth, coupled with such a cold white and flawless skin, it reminds Tao Ling of the past old analogy.

This man is made of marble, or carved by the best artist in the world.

Thinking of this, the desire/fire in Tao Ling's heart was actually suppressed.

But when it was wiped in front of Wen Qingying, it was hard to control his emotions no matter how he thought he was a work of art.

Tao Ling was afraid that he would have a nosebleed, so he wiped it much faster, and he used a lot of strength in his hands. The towel wiped Wen Qingying's chest, and the skin would turn from white to red in a flash.

Seeing the change clearly, Tao Ling coughed lightly, pretending to be indifferent, and wanted to wipe it at last, then closed his hand and pushed up hard, but his fingers passed over Wen Qingying's heart inadvertently.

In fact, it's not that he never really touched him, but this time was too sudden, and the moment his skin touched, his whole body seemed to be electrocuted.

He suddenly wanted to withdraw his hand, but Wen Qingying raised his arm and pinched his fingers.

The towel fell from his hand and smashed into a pot of hot water on the ground, splashing the person.

Wen Qingying's hand was getting harder and harder, Tao Ling raised his head in a panic and met his gaze. Those eyes were not their usual soft appearance, they showed a bit darker meaning, but it made Tao Ling feel even more deeply immersed in them.

He was wrapped in this sight into a cocoon waiting to be transformed into a feather.

His hand was pulled over Wen Qingying's heart, Tao Ling's brain was dizzy, he didn't know if it was an illusion or fact, he could almost feel Wen Qingying's frantic heartbeat.

After a while, he suddenly realized that the beating of his fingers might be his own.

This kind of feeling is too wonderful, as if the heartbeats of the two people have merged into one, and the medium is Tao Ling's hand.

Tao Ling was only wearing a sweater. He didn't know when the sweater was taken off, nor when he went forward. In short, when he came back to his senses, he was already in Wen Qingying's arms, and his mouth was smelled. Qingying's breath took over, and the palm of his hand felt the temperature of Qingying's back.

Why did Wen Qingying's hand hurt? Tao Ling suddenly felt a little aggrieved, but felt that his back was empty, not safe enough, and not close enough.

While thinking, the body suddenly ushered in an extremely unfamiliar touch.

He froze, stopped kissing, and opened his eyes involuntarily.

Aware of his state, Wen Qingying's touch suddenly stagnated, as if he was suddenly awakened, and there was a hint of remorse in his eyes.

A bunch of fireworks exploded in his head, Tao Ling noticed that Wen Qingying wanted to move away, and reflexively suppressed his wrist.

Wen Qingying was stunned, saw the mist in his eyes, and kissed the tip of his nose again.

"Wen Qingying." Tao Ling shouted in a hoarse voice.

Then he lowered his head and buried his face in Wen Qingying's neck as if escaping.

Closing his eyes, his body's feelings were magnified infinitely. For a moment, his hand passed Wen Qingying's waist, probed towards Wen Qingying, and returned the happiness he gave him with the same action.

Originally, it was good to not take a bath, but after all, it still failed to develop in the direction of "good".

It was late at night, Wen Qingying was lying on his side, watching the people next to him at Yu Xidu's house in the dark.

There was a little distance between the beds, not too far, but not as close as when they slept together before. Tao Ling turned his back to him, unconsciously put his thumb in his mouth, and bit his nails lightly.

After a long time, Tao Ling suddenly put down his hand, turned over, leaned closer, put himself into Wen Qingying's arms, hugged his neck, and said to himself, "You can avoid it by putting your hand behind my back. Got a wound."

Wen Qingying also moved forward, hugging the person in front of him with one hand, and gently resting the bandaged hand on his back.

It was as if Tao Ling used his body to build a support for him.

"Wen Qingying," Tao Ling said to himself with his eyes wide open in the dark, "I like you so much, even more than I imagined, can you imagine? I'm almost thirty years old, I never thought about it. I can love someone else."

When he spoke, the breath hit Wen Qingying's neck, crisp and numb.

"Your body is so excited because of you," Tao Ling said slowly, "I used to think that I had a problem sometimes."

"I think about it now, maybe life has arranged everyone's desires in different stages."

He spoke and paused for a while, speaking softer and slower: "You scared me just now, the first time I touched your body, I mean..."

"Alas, my brain is burnt out." He said, he lifted his leg inadvertently, and suddenly realized that Wen Qingying's state was not right. Hearing that his breathing was heavier than before, he held back a smile and said, "You are also burnt out. already."

Wen Qingying was answering him, resting his chin on top of his head, and pressed him with a little force.

The voice almost disappeared, and finally turned into a dream-like whisper: "Good night Wen Qingying, I love you... Although it's useless to say it, and it can't relieve my symptoms at all, but I love you."

Wen Qingying took his hand and closed it again.

After a long while, he said a word without saying a word, put his lips on Tao Ling's forehead, and closed his eyes.

When they got up early the next morning, neither of them dared to look each other in the eyes, and got into the car without much communication.

Wen Qingying couldn't drive, Tao Ling was afraid of driving fatigued, and stopped at a rest stop on the road. Before getting off the bus, he was silent for two seconds, looked at each other, smiled at the end, and the atmosphere returned to normal.

It was noon when I arrived in Huai City, and I followed the address given by Jue Xia. The place was an ancient town.

Before arriving at Zhenkou, Tao Ling began to feel uneasy. When he got there, he saw that it was really the place where Tao Jun brought him back then.

Seeing that his expression was wrong, Wen Qingying shook his hand inquiringly, Tao Ling shook his head with a pale face, but instead grabbed his hand and didn't let it go.

I followed the address to find it, but I didn't see the gold shop. I asked a few people downstairs and they said they didn't know. Later, I asked a shop that sold traditional musical instruments. The owner pointed in the direction and asked him to go up the stairs. .

After thanking him, he followed the directions. Who knew that when he went upstairs, there were all shops with inconspicuous signs. After inquiring about a few shops, he saw the shop at a corner.

The store was deserted, with only two counters sitting inside a man in his thirties.

The single glass door was small and old, Tao Ling received encouragement from Wen Qingying and knocked on the door. The boss raised his head and blurted out in surprise when he saw him: "Mr. Tao?"