Xu Luoyang asked this question after a long period of psychological construction. After all, in front of him, Qi Changan has always appeared in the image of a human being.
It's one thing to know that the other party is a monster, and it's another thing to know the body - he must confirm that no matter what Qi Changan's body is, he can accept it well. Moreover, Qi Changan can't choose his own origin, so he must not let the two of them separate because of this issue!
But after asking, Xu Luoyang was still very uneasy. After waiting for a few seconds, he found that Qi Changan did not answer. He leaned into the other party's ear, "Changan, if you can't say it, I won't ask, our little secret!"
With this posture, Qi Changan held the man in his arms. He wrapped Xu Luoyang's waist with one hand, and gently kneaded the back of his neck with the other hand, "Really want to know?" There was a faint smile in his tone, and some helplessness was hidden in his tone.
"I want to, I really want to think about it." Xu Luoyang felt very comfortable when kneaded, he simply switched to a state of weakness, rested his head on Qi Changan's shoulder, and quickly licked the skin on the other's neck with the tip of his tongue. After succeeding, he half-squinted his eyes again, obviously enjoying such intimacy very much.
Qi Changan turned his head to the side and bit Xu Luoyang's lips, "Noisy."
"Um?"
"What do you think my body is?"
Xu Luoyang organized the wording, "To be honest, Mr. Qi, I have a lot of guesses about this issue," he counted to Qi Changan with his fingers crossed, "I first speculated that you should be a half-blood half-demon. Because You are in poor health. It may be caused by the inability of blood to integrate smoothly. And you will be allergic to some foods. I guess it may be that your body cannot tolerate human food!"
Speaking, he frowned a little tangled, "but I have never been able to guess what your body is. Usually the body temperature is very cold, but it will be very hot when you have a fever. It may be racially incompatible with red roses, and can speak ancient Greek and In Latin, the eyes are cobalt blue, the magic power is very strong, and it can transmit my small wishes through the air, but it cannot have close contact with me in mosaics."
After a long sigh, Xu Luoyang poked the back of the opponent's hand with his finger, "It's really hard to guess!"
He held Xu Luoyang's fingers in his palm with his backhand. Qi Changan's voice was astringent. After looking at the other party for a long time, he asked in a low voice, "Then... even if I am a monster of unknown origin, are you still willing to be with me?"
"Why not? Of course I do!" Xu Luoyang's voice was a little nasal, soft but firm, "I actually knew you were a monster for a long time, but I still fell in love with you, this is really not at all. way to control.”
He scratched Qi Changan's palm twice with his fingers,
"I know that there are many problems in interracial relationships. For example, your lifespan is very long, and my lifespan is very short. In 30 years, in 20 years, I will be old, but you will always be so young and beautiful. But I love you and you love me too, so I think I can try harder."
Feeling that he was too idealistic, Xu Luoyang was a little embarrassed, but he continued to emphasize, "Anyway, I have to work hard to know if I can do it. For example, I can try to cultivate, maybe I can live longer, and You stay together longer."
After speaking, he bent his eyes and smiled at Qi Changan again, "My Changan is so good, I don't want to be separated from you at all."
"I... I'm not as good as you think." Qi Changan's voice was a little hoarse, and even revealed a little panic and uncertainty. He turned off the program that was playing, and the room became quiet. He raised his hand and gently covered Xu Luoyang's eyes. After the other party closed his eyes with his strength, he carefully kissed Xu Luoyang's eyelids, and repeated, "Really, I'm not as good as you think."
"You're fine." Xu Luoyang opened his eyes and corrected him, "If you don't believe in yourself, you believe in me and my vision."
At this moment, Qi Changan's heart trembled violently. He looked at the person in his arms, and he couldn't help kissing each other's forehead, nose, lips—this is the person, even if he knew that he was a monster, he was willing to be with him. Together. Even though I know there are many difficulties, I want to try my best.
Compared to him, what else could he be so timid about
Xu Luoyang noticed that Qi Changan's arms were slowly tightening, which made him a little uncomfortable, but sensitively aware that the other party's emotions were not right, he didn't move, just asked again, "Is this a secret can't be said? ? Shall we change the subject?"
Kissing Xu Luoyang's forehead heavily, Qi Changan looked into his eyes very intently, "Noisy, I'm really not a monster."
Feeling that something was wrong, Xu Luoyang sat upright in Qi Changan's arms, "But, but you said it yourself before, not in the House of Horrors, but in the past."
Qi Changan was very patient, "Can you tell me exactly when?"
"It was the time you mentioned before, Director Chu invited you to eat barbecue. When you came out, you were not feeling well and hit a car in the parking lot."
Quickly reacting, Qi Changan asked, "Is that... your car?"
"That's right, it's my car. It's super destined! That night, my friend and I also had a barbecue there. When we came out, we found that the front of my car was damaged, and yours was left on the windshield. business card."
Xu Luoyang remembered the situation clearly, "Well, I wasn't going to find you, but because my friend, Ye Huan, always said my name was Luoyang, and I must have a long-lost brother named Chang'an. So When I found out that the name on the business card was 'Qi Changan', I was very curious."
"So you contacted me under another identity?"
"That's right." After speaking, Xu Luoyang's tone became a little anxious, "I went to find you at the appointed place, and it was a lot earlier. But it seems to be too early, you are calling in the corridor, I don't I was careful and saw your eyes, the colors on both sides were different, one was black and the other was blue, and I heard you say something."
Guessing this sentence is the key, but the memory at that time has been blurred, Qi Changan asked him, "What did I say?"
Xu Luoyang repeated carefully, "You said, 'A monster in human skin like me should never live in this world'."
It turned out to be so.
Seeing that Xu Luoyang was still looking at him seriously, Qi Changan took a deep breath, "At that time, I had repeated episodes of my illness, and my negative emotions were very heavy, and I even thought about... death, that's why I said that. if."
Hearing the word "death", Xu Luoyang's heart seemed to be clenched suddenly. He suppressed all the messy thoughts that came out of his mind, and tried to calmly ask, "Repeated... What is the disease?"
The moment he asked this question, Xu Luoyang was suddenly flustered, he grabbed Qi Changan's wrist and looked at the other party's eyes eagerly.
"If explained, the reason would be longer."
Xu Luoyang still looked at him fixedly.
After being silent for nearly half a minute, Qi Changan spoke again, speaking slowly, "My... The person who gave birth to me is called Shen Zhemei. When she was twenty-two, she married my father because of a family marriage. Two years later, my brother Qi Changyin was born.
My dad was a standard family and work-focused helmer who was so busy every day that he didn't have much time to go home. When my brother was six years old and started studying with a governess, she gave birth to me again because of loneliness. "
The more Qi Changan spoke, the duller his tone became, as if he was telling someone else's story, with the indifference that belonged to a bystander.
"When I was three months old, she took me from the nanny to take care of me on the grounds that someone around me was trying to harm me. From then on, she began to tell the family that I was not in good health and was very Allergies and severe asthma. She bought all the GPs to get this lie."
He soon realized something, Xu Luoyang subconsciously called out the name of "Chang'an", his voice panicked. But after calling out his name, he immediately stopped what he was about to say, because he knew and had tasted this kind of taste - tearing open the wound that could not be scabbed open bit by bit, revealing the rancid flesh and blood inside. come out.
He understood, so he didn't speak any more.
"By the time I was five years old, Qi's family was shuffling the cards, and my father was even more busy. Every year, he would only come back for his family's birthday, Christmas and Spring Festival, and he would leave soon. Shen Zhemei hated that his father didn't care. Attitude, so she found a solution to make my body worse."
"Chang'an..."
"Well," Qi Changan replied, his tone still flat and straightforward, "so according to her thoughts, my illness is getting worse, I have to have an oxygen tube inserted every day, I can't exercise vigorously, and I'm not allowed to walk. I was put in a wheelchair. At that time, I didn’t know much about it, I only knew that I was not in good health and had to cooperate with treatment.”
"But two years later, on my seventh birthday, my father couldn't come back to celebrate my birthday because of a very urgent business. Shen Zhemei was not in a good state of mind that day. She sat beside my bed at night and cried all the time. She He grabbed my hand and asked repeatedly, why hasn't your father come back? Does he not want you anymore? He doesn't want me either? Will he never come back?"
There was a hint of sarcasm on Qi Changan's mouth, "That night, my 'condition' deteriorated rapidly, and I was soon put on a nasogastric tube. I couldn't eat or breathe on my own. I listened to her discussing my condition with the doctor. , for the first time I felt... strange and confused because unlike what they said, I didn't feel as uncomfortable as I should have.
I asked her, Mom, am I really seriously ill? She was very gentle and sad, and answered me, yes, you are very sick, you are so sick, why doesn't your father come back to see you? "
At this time, Qi Changan was stunned when he found that a tear had fallen on the back of his hand, "Noisy—"
"What about your brother?" Xu Luoyang's voice choked, he clenched Qi Changan's sleeves tightly, "Where's him?"
"He was sent to a private boarding school abroad when I was six years old." Qi Changan moved very lightly, wiping Xu Luoyang's tears with his soft fingertips, and the corner of his mouth smiled bitterly, "I'm sorry, I made you cry."
Shaking his head, Xu Luoyang looked at him, speechless, only tears kept pouring out.
"Chang Yin will come back on vacation, three times a year. Shen Zhemei likes red roses very much and has planted a lot of them. After Chang Yin came back once, knowing that I hadn't left the room for a long time, he went to the garden and folded one. The roses were given to me, saying that the sun was shining outside, and asked me if I wanted to go out to see the scenery. But this angered Shen Zhemei, she screamed and cried, saying that Chang Yin would kill me like this. "
There was a little smile in his eyes, "But that night, Chang Yin quietly ran to my room and told me that he would work hard to become a very good person, so that he could find a very good doctor for me. , cure my disease, and then buy me a plane, a cruise ship and a car, and let me travel all over the world.
I'm very happy, I don't know if I'll survive until then, but even the dream I had that night made me very happy. "
Wiping away his tears with the back of his hand, Xu Luoyang lowered his head and kissed the palm of his relative Chang'an, trying his best to look up and smile at him.
"Later, through monitoring, Shen Zhemei found out about Chang Yin's past. She was very afraid, afraid that after losing her husband and eldest son, she would lose me again. So not long after, she arranged an operation to remove me. one-third of the stomach.
After that, I became very weak, and for two years, bile reflux, stomach bleeding, made me insomnia very bad. Once, Shen Zhemei came over in the middle of the night and sat beside my bed to talk to me. She thought I was asleep and whispered something, she no longer had to worry about me leaving. "
"From then on, I was more certain that I might not be sick at all."
Holding Xu Luoyang with red eyes, Qi Changan kissed his hair and sighed, "I shouldn't have told you this." These dark, even bloody pasts.
"You should have told me." Xu Luoyang bit his collar firmly until his gums became sore, and said in a hoarse voice, "What happened later?"
"Then when I was twelve, my father came back and discussed at home whether to send me to school or ask a tutor to teach me. They had a fight. My father thought that even if I was in bad health, people shouldn't Ignorance, the limitations of my body should not limit my thinking. Shen Zhemei accused my father, saying that this would kill me.
After several days, I finally seized the opportunity, ran out of the room in the middle of the night, and found Chang Yin. At that time, I was very scared and very excited. I summoned the courage to ask him, brother, do you believe me, I am really not sick. I asked him to take me out for an inspection, out of the Qi's and Shen's sphere of influence. "
Xu Luoyang's breath was trembling until he heard Qi Changan's words, "He believed me."
"After the test results came out, my father and Shen Zhemei had a very fierce quarrel. Later, Shen Zhemei shot my father and then committed suicide. After that, my brother who had just grown up inherited the family business, and I was sent to When I went to the school my brother attended," after a pause, Qi Changan laughed, "I'm free."
Hearing the last four words, Xu Luoyang directly bumped into Qi Changan's arms and burst into tears.
Hearing his whimper, Qi Changan lowered his head and rubbed his hair lightly, "So, Luoyang, I'm really not as good as you think, and I'm not even a normal person at all. I have a lot in my heart. Hate, a lot of greed, a lot of dissatisfaction.
Look, I told you these things, I want you to pity me, pity me, feel bad for me, I want you to feel sorry for me, cry for me, I want you not to leave me, I am humble—"
Xu Luoyang pressed his lips tightly against his, preventing him from what he was going to say next. Because the lips were bitten, a little blood was stained on Qi Changan's lips. After a few seconds, Xu Luoyang backed away and asked him softly, "Are you willing to leave me?"
Qi Changan looked at him silently, and finally shook his head.
"I'm reluctant to leave you," Xu Luoyang put his five fingers into Qi Changan's fingers and clasped them tightly, he tried to make himself laugh, but his voice was still choked, "My Qiqi, I My brother Chang An is the best person I have ever met, no one can compare to him, he is so good, I want to be with him forever."
"But-"
"No but," Xu Luoyang raised his chin, with obvious certainty, "If I don't stay with you, I will be sad for as many days as I live, are you willing?"
Qi Changan met his eyes, and after a long time, compromised, "I can't bear it."
I don't want you to be sad, and I don't want you to be sad because of me.
Satisfied with this answer, Xu Luoyang softened his voice, "Then can you hold me tighter?"
Qi Changan tightened his arms.
"A little tighter."
Qi Changan did as he was told.
"Yes, that's it." Xu Luoyang whispered with a smile in his voice, "Chang'an, don't ever think about letting go of me again, and trap me in your arms."
At this moment, Qi Changan slowly closed his eyes, feeling that the fierce beast in his heart was gently appeased.