For a short period of time, we thought we would be together with someone forever. Later, we realized how unattainable a fantasy it was to be together forever.
Broad shoulders, clean fingers, big palms, laughter like the sea and sunshine in eyes, the South in my memory has always been like this.
That night, I didn't get home until 12 o'clock, and Nanfang walked me downstairs. The next day, when I met him, he took out a small medicine box from his pocket and quickly stuffed it into my bag. When I went to the bathroom, I took it out quietly and read it. The instructions said: "... Please take within 72 hours."
We went to an electronics store and bought a cell phone. Nan Fang said it would make it easier to keep in touch.
One day later, we went to Nanshan to play for an afternoon. When we returned to the hotel room at night, I fell headfirst onto the bed and couldn’t get up. Nanfang picked me up and said, “Don’t sleep yet, go take a bath. A bath can relieve fatigue.”
We took a shower together, the air was thick with mist, and I held him in my arms and lay on the bed, not wanting to move. Nan Fang gently stroked the back of my neck and smiled, "Are you tired so soon, little piggy?"
"I'm very sleepy, Nanfang, if you still want to make love, just do it by yourself..." I covered myself with the quilt.
“&8#@￥!”…
He stayed in Chongqing for ten days and flew back to Beijing on the morning of the 8th, just in time to catch the international taxation class in the morning. I returned to school on the 7th, and got up early on the 8th to send him to Jiangbei Airport. After that night, we were obviously closer, and my heart was filled with sweetness, but I was also reluctant to let him go. After checking in at the airport, it was still early, so we found a quiet place to talk.
"Time flies so fast. It seems like I just came out of the airport yesterday and I'm back here today." He took my hand.
"Nanfang, are you still coming?"
"Of course, come over as soon as you're free." He hugged me, his chest was broad and his arms were strong. In his arms, I felt safe and warm, as if enveloped in the warm sunshine.
"Grandpa might come back to visit in a while, so I'll just tag along."
"Hmm." I smiled. I wouldn't have to wait too long to see him again.
"Qinqin, will you miss me?" He actually lowered his head and looked at me.
"When did I ever stop thinking about you?"
… .
College life is indeed colorful, with all kinds of people and things to do. Club activities, attending dances, hanging out in the library, and going on outings and clubbing in groups of three or five... Jiefangbei and Nanbin Road are places that we college students often visit. The school is equivalent to half of the society. My parents often sigh that children nowadays mature early, and my grandmother also says that life is so rich.
My mother gave me a private adolescent education. About relationships between boys and girls, about boyfriends, about how to protect myself... She started off in a roundabout way, and was very obscure. For example, she asked, "How is life in the dormitory? Are your classmates easy to get along with?"
I answered, "We get along fairly well, and Zhang Yaoyao and I are best friends."
"Last time, you said you went to the movies and went shopping with a few classmates. What were those?"
"Which time did mom ask? We are students from the department whose homes are in the city. We often play together."
"On May Day."
"Seniors from our department and a few girls from our class."
"Hehe, when we were in school, the senior brothers liked to play with the junior sisters the most. In fact, they just wanted to find a girlfriend through playing." The mother smiled.
I kept silent and waited for her to continue, thinking to myself, it's normal to have a girlfriend after playing around, don't grown men and women need to fall in love? I know her temper, she always starts off in a roundabout way before finally speaking.
The mother coughed and got to the point, "Are there any boys chasing you at school?"
"Forget it."
"Children nowadays are not simple. Middle school students hide at home in groups of three or five to secretly watch adult discs. Be careful." The mother said in a serious tone.
I remembered that Nan Fang once told me that there is a great lack of sex education for adolescents in China, and boys can only understand the mysteries of our bodies in that way. They are full of energy and can only relieve themselves in this way. I always believed him, and he explained this issue to me very seriously. So, when my mother said this to me, I felt that my mother was too extreme and thought too badly of men. Maybe it was because of my father, because my father and the woman whose voice she had only heard but whose true face she had never seen deeply hurt her. So, she always disagreed with her in her heart, but rarely argued with her, and only said "hmm" twice.
"Qinqin, if you have a boyfriend, please invite him to your house for dinner. Mom will help you check him out."
“How do we keep a check?”
"See what kind of character he has, what kind of personality he has, and whether you are suitable for him."
"How does mom decide if it's appropriate?"
"We are experienced people, so of course we have experience. We are just worried that you will be cheated."
"I see." I wondered, could she really judge? Could she really tell whether a man was suitable for a woman, and whether he would still treat her the same after many years? If she could, then why did she choose...
The mother stood up and walked out of the room. When she was about to leave, she said, "One more thing, be careful. Girls must learn to protect themselves."
I was a little scared. After that night, I was no longer a simple girl. Did this count as failing to protect myself
Since we came to the south, we started to communicate through text messages. We would chat for an hour or two every night. We would send messages on the way home from get out of class, during evening self-study, and even in bed. It was common for us to fall asleep at one or two in the middle of the night. We were really full of energy at that time. We would still get up the next day to rush to the first class even though we slept so late. The dark circles under my eyes were caused by that time.
Nan Fang also called me every day, and we would talk for half an hour or an hour. Several girls in the dormitory were waiting in line for the call. I would often hang up the phone reluctantly until they urged me, "The porridge is all cooked!" Almost all the girls in the dormitory knew that I had a boyfriend who was studying in Beijing. However, only Zhang Yaoyao knew some of the stories between Nan Fang and me.
Yaoyao and I were almost close friends, except for the most intimate things with Nan Fang that I didn't tell her. We enjoyed the feeling of sharing each other's happiness. At that time, a senior from the law department was chasing Zhang Yaoyao. He not only pulled Yaoyao into the school drama group, but also created opportunities to spend time with her alone from time to time. Once, the senior took us to the law department's dance party and asked Yaoyao to teach him to dance. I secretly observed that he was skilled in the movements, so why did he need to be taught
After a while, Grandpa Xu came back to his hometown again. Grandma also went back to the county town to live for a while. My father sent her back. At that time, the South had not yet had a holiday, so she didn't come. I was deeply disappointed.
At that time, I always felt that the days passed too slowly. Sometimes I really wondered if my watch was slow. I really hoped that when I woke up, it would be summer vacation. Yaoyao laughed at me, "A young girl in love, suffering from lovesickness."
I deliberately leaned towards the window and said, "Hey, look, who is looking up from downstairs holding a rose?"
Yaoyao hurriedly went to the window to look out, only to realize that I had lied to her.
Finally, summer vacation came. Nanfang's one-year exchange period at Renmin University was over. He had to return to Taipei to continue his courses at NTU. Before leaving, he came to Chongqing to visit me. We went to Ciqikou together to make two small heart-shaped glass bottles, carved our names on rice grains, put them in the two bottles, stuffed some shiny paper, filled them with oil, sealed them, tied them with red silk thread, and hung them around our necks. He hung the one with "Quilt" and I hung the one with "Nanfang". This was probably a popular couple's token at the time.
One time, my mother accidentally found the name in the bottle. She finally knew it. I also thought that she would know it sooner or later. I didn't have to be sneaky anymore, and I felt relieved. My mother was not unprepared. After all, she knew about the past, but she just thought we were separated.
My mother gave me a long and earnest lecture. This time, she was not as firm as she was in senior year of high school. She persuaded me more. Finally, she said, "Qinqin, you have grown up. Children mature early nowadays. It is not strange to fall in love. But think about it carefully. Do you know him? How well do you know him? As I said before, be careful with men. You must protect yourself. If something happens, it will embarrass both families."
I was in a heavy mood for several days. My mother's words made me feel that from now on, I need to be responsible for myself. No one can make decisions for me, and naturally no one can help me bear the consequences. Then I thought, I have such a deep relationship with Nan Fang, what serious consequences can there be? (To be continued)