When I was a child, I read in a book that if a man no longer loves his woman, it is wrong for her to cry, to remain silent, and to live and breathe. Maybe after she dies, the man will still say, it was you, you made me feel guilty, you made me a sinner... How terrible!
She wanted him to come back, but she pushed him further away.
But I always wondered why they didn't talk to me in front of me, why my father avoided me, because our family was a home for three people. But my mother told me, "He no longer has feelings for me, so he can say whatever cruel and unpleasant words he wants, but you, Qinqin, you are his daughter, he has feelings for you, and he will only feel ashamed in front of you."
When I thought about it carefully, it was really like this. Suddenly, I felt like there was a ball of cotton blocking my chest, and then a deep sorrow surged up.
I had a deep talk with my father. He had not lived at home since the incident. He just found an excuse to live outside openly and maybe be with her openly. My father booked a five-star hotel and treated me to French food, pan-fried foie gras, Finnish salmon, French roasted snails... In my memory, my father never had the leisure to have a romantic and warm meal with our family, but his actions and expression when he ordered the food seemed to be quite familiar with this. It was the beginning of autumn, the summer heat faded, and the weather had turned cooler. My father was wearing a long-sleeved striped shirt. When he pulled out the chair for me, he looked like a stylish middle-aged gentleman.
I really misjudged him. He had probably played this game hundreds of times with other women and was very good at it. But none of us noticed it. Even my mother didn't know that my father had such a romantic and gentlemanly side. Even if that wasn't the real him, she didn't understand his needs, right
"Do you want to break up?" I asked directly without beating around the bush.
The father hesitated for a moment and said, "It's no use dragging it on like this. Everyone is suffering."
Oh! He has his reasons.
"It was too sudden. Mom wasn't prepared."
"She knew it."
They all knew, but they didn't say anything.
"I'm not mentally prepared yet. Is that person really that important?"
"The important thing is that I have no feelings for your mother anymore. I wanted to wait and let Xiaorong make the decision. But—"
"But she lost her patience and finally, you found an excuse to get away?" I questioned him.
My father was shocked. Obviously, he didn't expect me to ask him this. I saw his Adam's apple move and he swallowed the words. The waiter brought the pan-fried foie gras. It was greasy and disgusting. Only vulgar women like to eat this kind of thing! I overturned the plate in anger.
He has been dragging it out, waiting for his mother to bring it up on her own initiative. No one will bother him anymore, so the divorce can be more peaceful, right
My father motioned the waiter to leave the room and begged me to forgive him. For the first time in his life, my father asked me to let him go.
He forced me to be a daughter who didn't care about anything, forced me to be neutral. We parted on bad terms.
Mother didn't want a divorce, that was for sure, even the most insensitive person could sense that. But he no longer loved her, I couldn't see a single ounce of love, he hadn't paid attention to what new dresses mother bought, what French fashions she changed into, he didn't even know she had lost ten pounds, to him, Jiang Xiaorong looked no different in a waistless coarse cloth skirt or a figure-flattering deep V-neck corset dress.
A few days later, I received another call from Li Shuming. I was at home and knew it was him from his voice. He was gentle and slightly magnetic. He was always like this. "Qiuqiu? I thought you were not here." How tactful.
"Hi, hello." I greeted him politely.
"How are you these days?"
"Not bad. Are you busy lately?" It was just a greeting.
"I'm busy with inspections, then I take a break. Then when financial policies change, I'm busy again, then I take a break. This cycle repeats itself. Sometimes work is boring. Where's your aunt?"
"She's out."
Li Shuming smiled softly, "No, no, I was asking if she felt better."
"She has deeper troubles." I don't know why, but I suddenly said this.
"Hmm? Last time she called, she said she had a headache."
Ah! No, my mother never mentioned it to me, but she told an outsider about her discomfort. Did I ignore her too much? I didn't understand her needs at all. Suddenly, I felt sad. "You can see that they are not in harmony." I lowered my voice. After all, there is still someone who cares about me. This is a good thing. I should be grateful that he is real, but it's uneasy to have such a person suddenly break into my life. It's all because he came at too late.
"The weather has gotten cooler recently. Why not take some annual leave and take Aunt out for a walk to relax?" He had a good suggestion.
"Well, I'll think about it, thank you for your concern."
"Why be polite? Besides, I have enjoyed Auntie's good cooking. Please give her my regards for me."
"OK."
There was nothing else to talk about. I could only ask, "What new movies are coming out recently?" No, no, we are not close enough to talk about such topics. Or, "What new credit policies does the head office have?" "What is the trend of the stock market?" Li Shuming did not seem to be someone who liked to talk to me about these things. When he was about to hang up, he said, "I may be on a business trip next month."
I said "Oh" and didn't ask where he was on business trip. He should be coming here, otherwise why would he tell me all this.
When my mother came back, before she even took off her shoes, I couldn't wait to greet her and ask, "Mom, are you feeling unwell lately?"
My mother was stunned for a moment, her eyes moved away from my face, she hung up her handbag and went into the house. "No, I just haven't slept well recently." She didn't want me to worry.
"Li Shuming called."
She turned around, with a look of joy and relief in her eyes. "Shu Ming?"
"Greetings. Also, I might come here on a business trip next month."
The mother was actually very happy, "He called and said that you are finally at home today... Shuming works hard, so please invite him to dinner at home." Her eyes seemed to be saying, you, seize the opportunity.
I told her, "He comes here on business trips. He has meetings during the day and social events at night. How can he have time to come home? When he eats out, he only picks up a few dishes with chopsticks. Before he's half full, he has to pick up a glass of wine to deal with a large group of people. A meal takes two hours. Aunt Jiang, you ask him to show up at our house every time he's on business trips. He doesn't even have time to sleep."
The mother was stunned. "So busy?"
I sighed to myself, "Not everyone is willing to be a virtuous young person. They should not take time out of their busy schedule to deal with elders they are not very familiar with. Women should not be too self-centered..."
The mother finally showed her anger, "You're teaching me a lesson?"
"Mom, that's not what I meant. I think we should solve the family problems first." I regretted saying this. Should I let my mother cry and think about her sad things every day? People always have something to look forward to in life. Her expectation is me.
The mother said nothing more and prepared to go upstairs. "Mom, what are you thinking? If you continue like this—"
Before I could finish, my mother turned around and looked at me, her eyes revealing a surprising chill, "But I won't get divorced so easily!"
This topic is sensitive, so I tried to ease the tension by saying, "I have annual leave, so why not go on a trip with mom in a few days?" I had unknowingly accepted Li Shuming's proposal.
"We'll talk about it then." (To be continued)