I made a mistake. The red ribbon on my wrist was too eye-catching and attracted my mother's attention.
I have to admit that my mother is a sensible woman after all. Except when she quarreled with my father and lost control of her emotions, she never exposed me and remained calm until Eunuch Xu and Nan Fang left before confronting me.
That day, Eunuch Xu and Nanfang went back. I sat alone in the study, thinking about my worries, recalling every little bit of my time with Nanfang a few days ago. When I thought of the happy moments, I bit my fingers and smiled foolishly. If someone saw me, I would definitely be called a flower maniac.
"Quilt!" Suddenly I heard my mother calling me.
I turned my head and saw my mother standing at the door of the study. She was wearing a beautiful silk halter dress, her hair loosely tied behind her head, and she had a smile on her face. At this moment, she looked calm and kind.
"Mom." I stood up.
My mother walked in, touched my hair, and asked, "What is my little girl thinking about?"
"Not thinking about anything, just daydreaming." I muttered softly.
"Qianqian, do you have a boy you like?" Mother asked directly but in a gentle tone. I think she must understand that every girl has a crush on someone.
I didn't say anything. I didn't want to lie to her but I didn't want to say it out loud either.
"Have you sent gifts to the South?" Mother pointed to her wrist and smiled strangely, as if she had seen through my thoughts.
"Yeah." She didn't seem like she was here to interrogate me, but the evidence was solid and there was no way to deny it.
The mother pulled a bamboo chair over and sat down, speaking earnestly, "Qinqin, I also know that children nowadays mature early and there are some in school who are in love. But you are still a middle school student, and studying is your top priority. Girls are most likely to be affected in their studies by these things. If you can't get into a good university, everything will be over."
"Mom, I promise it won't affect my studies. Besides, he comes here seldom. We're not doing anything, and it's impossible for us to play every day." I argued.
"Mom is not saying that your love of playing will affect your studies. It's that it's easy for girls to be emotionally affected when they have a boyfriend. Do you understand?"
"No."
"Don't be stubborn. If these things really affect your future, you will regret it in the future." The mother became serious.
I stopped talking. I felt suffocated. Why do adults have to impose their will on others
"Today, mom has made everything clear to you. From now on, contact the South less. Don't think I don't know that you two are still exchanging letters." She was a little angry, but seemed to be trying hard to control her emotions.
I couldn't resist, and I didn't want to make her angry, so I nodded slightly. There was already a gap between my mother and me, and I was really afraid of her being angry with me. Anyway, she didn't know we were talking on the phone. I could leave my school address in the letter, and I would just keep it for later.
Zhao Qinqin thought too simply.
In the midterm exam of the first semester of my senior year, my ranking in grades dropped, which was actually within the normal range, but my mother didn't think so. She once again had a heart-to-heart talk with me.
Maybe because my father had been home more often recently and his relationship had improved, my mother was particularly patient with me, and gave me earnest advice. I don't know how she knew that we often wrote letters to each other, but she immediately decided that my relationship had affected my studies, and told me to stop contacting Nan Fang and to calm down and concentrate on preparing for the college entrance examination.
I denied it all and refused to admit that I was still in contact with the South.
The mother was furious, and it was obvious that she was trying her best to control her emotions. "You still don't admit it? Last week, Xu Nanfang called you more than once or twice!"
Ah! When did Nanfang call me? Usually on Saturdays, when my mother was obviously out.
My mother stopped beating around the bush and finally told me the whole story straight out of the blue.
There are three reasons why I am opposed to interacting with the South.
The first reason is what I mentioned before, that it might affect my studies. Girls are sentimental, delicate and sensitive, and they get nervous and panic at the slightest disturbance in their relationship, which naturally delays their studies.
Second, we are too far apart, and our upbringing environment, living habits, and life experiences are very different. In my mother's words, the children of wealthy families are very romantic these days.
I argued that Nan Fang was not that kind of person. My family knew him after coming here so many times. He was not a playboy. For example, when I was studying at Jianguo High School, the boys liked to date students from Taipei First Girls' High School, and the rich boys changed their girlfriends one after another, but he did not. Of course, I always believed what he said.
The inner world of the South is broad and beautiful, which is what I have always liked, appreciated and yearned for.
My mother didn't say anything else. At least, she didn't understand life in the South and couldn't make up stories.
The third reason, I think, is the most important reason. Speaking of it, it needs to be traced back to a long time ago, when my grandparents were young.
My mother told me that during the years when Grandpa Xu lived in the Zhao family, his relationship with my grandparents was not just good playmates as I had previously thought. My grandmother and Grandpa Xu were in love with each other and had already secretly decided to spend their lives together. After the outbreak of the Anti-Japanese War, someone from the Xu family came back. They went to Shanghai to do business at that time and barely managed to gain a foothold. Of course, Shanghai was occupied by the Japanese army, and doing business naturally required bowing to foreigners. The Xu family wanted Grandpa Xu to go to Shanghai to help expand the business there, and sent people to lobby every day. Grandpa Xu was unwilling, and it happened that the National Government came to the school to recruit soldiers, so he simply joined the army. He was gone for many years. At first, I heard that he went to study to become a pilot, but later there was no news at all. In those years, my grandfather was very good to my grandmother.
It was not until the victory of the Anti-Japanese War and the outbreak of the Civil War that Eunuch Xu returned. Grandma thought that her wait was finally over, but she had no idea that the situation changed so quickly. The Kuomintang soon lost most of its territory and could not hold on any longer, so it had to evacuate the mainland. For some reason, Eunuch Xu did not stay, nor did he take Grandma with him. He followed them from Chongqing Airport to Taiwan.
I never thought that their generation had so many connections. Grandma's family had always been resentful of Grandpa Xu. Even my father and aunt's generation disliked the Xu family. They were only warm and polite to them on the surface, for Grandma to see. More importantly, they wanted to get some help from Grandpa Xu. In fact, they all thought that Grandpa Xu was a ** and irresponsible man.
The many doubts in my heart were only revealed at this moment. But why do I feel that every time Grandpa Xu comes back to his hometown, grandma is actually happy and looking forward to his return? Perhaps, for the people of the previous generation and the previous generation, I am more like a third party, like a bystander, who can stay out of those obsessions and entanglements and see some things deep in their hearts more truly.
I remembered that Nan Fang said that there was also a large area of gardenias planted in the Xu family’s garden in Taipei, and he said that his grandfather also liked this flower... Then I suddenly realized.
In any case, Nan Fang and I could no longer communicate as before. I wrote to him:
"Nan Fang, unfortunately I have to tell you that Mom knows everything about us. Please don't call me again. Mom will get angry if she finds out about me. I'm tired of her nagging over the past few years. Please write my school address when you send me letters.
Also, I need to prepare for the college entrance examination, so I can’t reply to you as often as before. Good Nanfang, I hope you won’t be angry and forgive me. I have already decided to choose Xiamen University as my first choice. Standing at the place closest to you, I wonder if I can see my Nanfang? Hehe… ..”
Nanfang replied that it didn't matter, studying was more important, he would write to me as usual, and I would be free when I got into university, which was the closest place to the two sides of the Taiwan Strait. He would often come to Xiamen to visit me, and take me to Gulangyu Island for fun... When he graduated, he would come to the mainland to work, and then we would be together... (To be continued)