What is despair
Manman was too young to understand, she would only cry and say "Mom doesn't want me anymore".
If you ask Yao Shuo about this, he will definitely smile sarcastically, and then say some harsh words to greet other people's IQ, EQ, and all quotients, and then go to the balcony silently to smoke a cigarette and look out the window. Pedestrians, children, lonely experience their own feelings.
Despair is - seeing no hope.
Life is passing away day by day, and old age is eating away at the whale and swallowing all his pride. He felt that his life was getting stronger and stronger, and he was shrinking. Sometimes he would sit up in shock at midnight, and found that he had become a bug that had lost some of his armor and strength, so soft that he died when someone pinched it.
The world is full of fear and anxiety, but he no longer has the power of fearlessness. Every time a tree grows a ring, it expands by one layer, and a person's growth rings grow on every blood vessel, every hair, and every time it grows, the future will be narrow and tasteless.
However, there is no way out. A female writer said: Are you young? It doesn't matter, it will be old in two years.
From this perspective, life itself is a desperate and helpless process, being forced to be born, growing up hard, getting stronger little by little, forcing the world to admit that you have a place here, and thinking that you have won, But when you get it, and then slowly lose it, it's a big joke.
If you ask He Xiaozhi, he will tell you abstractly that when the "devil" who occupied his body left, it was heaven all the time, and when he remembered, the devil would come back and never leave him, calm and peaceful When it only exists like a gap, it is despair.
One of the most unsolved questions in the world is "why me", why is it me who suffers, and why does every one of them seem so happy
Depressed patients are like living in the perspective of a dog. The whole world has only three colors, black, white and gray. They can't escape, and they can't even grab a life-saving straw. Overcoming the pain of being unable to control myself, wanting to jump from a tall building, wanting to end this kind of life.
This night, except for those who were still awake, everyone seemed to be affected by some kind of brain wave connection, and a cloud seemed to hang over the city.
Huang Jinchen woke up when he had a little trouble. He had been training for many years, and his mind was extremely firm. When he looked up, he found that Kou Tong had woken up and was standing by the window frowning.
"What?" Huang Jinchen asked.
"I don't know," Kou Tong opened the curtains, but no moonlight came in. "What's the situation... I always feel like something is out of control."
At this moment, Kou Tong's mother knocked on the door and told Manman's dream again. When she left, Kou Tong sat back on the bed: "Old Yao turned on the light, and there was a sound in He Xiaozhi's room. They all I've been affected... I don't know what happened to Qin Qin."
"What about you?" Huang Jinchen only cares about this question.
Kou Tong rubbed his eyebrows: "I didn't fall asleep just now - I don't know why, but I always have an ominous premonition."
Huang Jinchen bent down, lit a cigarette and stuffed it into his mouth: "Be quiet for a while, then come up and sleep."
He touched Kou Tong's hair, and his hand was not as soft as it looked: "If you can't fall asleep again, I'll give you another sleep, and I'll make sure you have a good night's sleep until dawn."
Kou Tong felt that he was being molested and was quite fresh, so he leaned on the head of the bed and looked at him with squinted eyes but not a smile. funny.
In retrospect, in fact, apart from the discomfort for a short period of time after learning about the seed project, this man always had a bit of deviant humor.
Psychology cannot surpass physical existence. When the problem is serious to a certain symptom, it must be accompanied by damage to the nervous system.
At least Kou Tong felt that harsh physical training would greatly improve a person's tolerance level - this heartless man surnamed Huang is a good example.
When Huang Jinchen was awakened by the biological clock again, he found that the room was still dark. He realized that something was wrong almost immediately, and suddenly turned over from the bed, glanced out the window, and then pushed Kou Tong's shoulder: "Hey, wake up, come and see this."
Kou Tong doesn't have a biological clock. As long as it's still dark, his physiological function will automatically determine that he can still fall asleep. After being pushed to wake up, he patted Huang Jinchen's face with the back of his hand in confusion: "Dear, don't. Quarrel."
Huang Jinchen: "..."
It's over, his wife is a pig, he thought silently—of course, he didn't dare to say it.
So Huang Jinchen calmly put his hand into the quilt and pinched Kou Tong's waist. The latter immediately bounced like a dead fish that had been electrocuted. After squinting for a while, he adjusted his eyes and asked, "What's wrong?"
"Look at what time it is."
Kou Tong reached out and grabbed the alarm clock by the bedside, pressed the fluorescent light on the screen, and was stunned for a moment: "Seven o'clock... Is it morning?"
At seven o'clock in the morning, even if it is the shortest time of the winter and the twelfth lunar month, it cannot be completely dark outside. At this moment, it is like midnight outside. There are no stars, no moon, or even... no wind.
Kou Tong's eyes suddenly sobered up: "Put on your clothes, don't disturb others, let's go out."
The two quickly changed their clothes, quietly left the small aisle in the living room, and then got out.
The lights in Kou Tong’s corridor are voice-activated and very sensitive. Generally, let’s not talk about the sound of footsteps falling on the ground deliberately. Even a rubbing of clothes can affect the lights on the upper and lower floors. As a result, the two of them walked out. But it didn't light up.
Kou Tong clapped his hands, but it still didn't light up.
"The power is off," he said softly.
"Then your computer..." Huang Jinchen asked.
"No problem, the battery can last for two hours, and the data will be analyzed immediately." After Kou Tong finished speaking, he gave Huang Jinchen a meaningful look, "If you hadn't come to disrupt the situation, maybe we would have left by now."
"Oh, I was wrong!" Huang Jinchen thumped his chest, "If I had to bear with it, my luggage might have been moved to your house by now!"
He couldn't see the lights in the dark at first, Kou Tong stomped at his feet and almost rolled down, he coughed dryly: "Little lady, take your time, even if we don't go back, we have to lift the sedan chair, you really don't have to. ...so thirsty."
Huang Jinchen squeezed his throat and said, "Damn!"
Kou Tong was silent for a moment: "Don't...don't, I...my waist is weak."
The two walked out of the building one after the other. There was no light in the whole city, even the air was stagnant, and there was not a trace of wind.
All the sounds were hidden. The occasionally passing night car stopped halfway, Kou Tong bent down and slammed on the window, and found that the driver's head was on the side, as if he was asleep.
"Master? Master?" Kou Tong knocked on the window, but the people inside didn't respond.
People in the whole city are not aware of it, the light in the whole city has been taken away by something, the long street, except for the footsteps of two people, there is no other movement.
It's like... a ghost town that's turned into a dead place.
Huang Jinchen stopped smiling, and the two looked at each other, feeling that Qin Qin's little universe seemed to have exploded to a certain extent.