Wan'er took the bowl and left the house. Fan Xian looked at Sisi lying on the bed, and said gently, "Take a good rest."
Sisi usually slept in the outer room of the master's bedroom at the back of Fan's mansion, but today the doctor suddenly found out that she was happy, and Liu's decided to vacate a few comfortable rooms and let her move in.
Fan Xian turned his head to look at the furnishings in the room, and was secretly grateful to Mrs. Liu, then looked at Sisi's pale and haggard face, and made a little apology, and said softly, "It's my fault, I'm actually the last one to know people."
At this time, as the head of the family, Fan Xian should show a gentle side, a joyful side, and say more pleasant words to make the pregnant woman feel at ease, but after only a few words, he choked. Looking at Sisi's face, he was speechless for a while.
After a while of silence, Sisi's eye circles were slightly red, she bit her lip and said, "Master, I can see that you are not happy."
"How could it be?" Fan Xian was taken aback, and said with a wry smile, "The main reason is that it was too sudden, without any mental preparation."
He took the girl's hand, squeezed it slowly, and said with a smile: "In my heart, you are still the big girl who is always standing by my side grinding ink and adding fragrance. I always feel that it hasn't been long, and it hasn't been long since we left Danzhou." ... You are about to become a mother of a child."
"It has been three years since we left Danzhou, my confused young master."
Sisi smiled through tears, half leaning on the bed, and looked at him with gentle eyes. Whether she was living with her colleagues in Jiangnan or after officially entering Danzhou, she still habitually called Fan Xian the young master, and did not change. call.
"Even if I become an old man, I'm afraid I'm not ready yet." Fan Xian patted her hand pitifully, and said, "Being a father is indeed a bit scary."
"Young master can do everything... besides, childbirth is a woman's business."
"Everything? It's a woman's business to have children, but it's a man's business to teach children... Raising a child is much more difficult than writing poetry and killing people."
Fan Xian laughed at himself, reached into the quilt and carefully stroked Sisi's slightly bulging belly, couldn't help but blame himself and said: "Father said earlier that it's been four months...you didn't tell me...even if you If you are shy, you have to tell the young mistress."
Feeling the movement of the palm on her abdomen, Sisi blushed slightly, pulled the quilt to her neck, and said with a little fear: "I'm afraid... I'm afraid it's fake."
"There's no truth in being pregnant." Fan Xian closed his eyes and felt the ups and downs of his palms. Some extremely complicated emotions arose in his heart, including joy, fear, and a little soreness... The belly is his own child
He really couldn't accept the fact that he was going to be a father for a while, that kind of fear actually overwhelmed his joy, but fortunately, his mind was clear at this time, and he wouldn't be unable to show it in front of Sisi, otherwise Sisi, who was a new mother Will hate him to death.
Fan Xian scratched his head with some headaches, and said, "What should I do now?"
Sisi couldn't help but burst out laughing: "Young master, of course you can eat when you need to eat, and sleep when you need to sleep. I can't let you guard me every day just because I'm pregnant with a child."
Fan Xian suddenly reached out and gently pulled Sisi's wrist, put his fingers on it, closed his eyes and tilted his head to listen to the pulse carefully.
At this moment, Wan'er happened to walk in, and when she saw that Xianggong was taking Sisi's pulse, she opened her big eyes and asked curiously, "Is it a man or a woman?"
Fan Xian moved his finger away slowly, and said with a smile, "How can it be so easy to see that you think my finger is a B-ultrasound?"
…
…
"Must fuck?" Wan'er and Sisi frowned at the same time hearing this new vocabulary, puzzled.
Fan Xian coughed twice, and told Sisi what he should pay attention to every day, especially not to catch a cold. Then he went outside, called the wife of Master Teng over, and gave her detailed instructions. Of course, you should look for healthy ones. As for the diet, don’t blindly eat big fish and meat, just order a few nutritious dishes.
"Is there goat milk in the village?"
The daughter-in-law of Master Fuji nodded excitedly, Sisi was pregnant with the first grandchild of the Fan family, and these servants couldn't help being excited.
After receiving an affirmative answer, Fan Xian said, "One bowl a day, it must be boiled."
Inside the room, Sisi snuggled up to Wan'er, and said sadly, "I don't like to drink goat's milk."
Lin Wan'er thought about it. When she was treating her tuberculosis, Fan Xian forced her to drink goat's milk every day. The smell was unbearable. She couldn't help but smiled at the door and said, "Could this goat's milk be an elixir?"
Fan Xian turned back and smiled, "Although it's not an elixir, it's really a very good thing, but the smell is a little bit stronger. You have to bear with it and keep drinking Sisi."
Lin Wan'er suddenly thought of the idea that Siqi was thinking at the time, and said happily: "Let Siqi do this, I don't know if she put almonds or jasmine tea, it has a faint astringent smell, but it makes the smell of mutton go away." erased."
Sisi, who was leaning on the bed, was very uneasy when she heard that Siqi was serving her own food. She was originally a maid with the same status as Siqi, but now that she is pregnant with a child, her treatment has suddenly increased so much, she really dare not bear it , I was afraid that everyone in the house would gossip about me, so I subconsciously wanted to say no.
Fan Xian waved his hand and said: "There are not so many ceremonies in this back house. When you are a maid, the master will still beat your back... Let Siqi work hard, but I don't know if it will work."
Sisi blushed, but found Siqi girl's proud face flashing outside the door, the girl said with a smile: "Of course it will work. At that time, I made the young lady's goat milk every day. You only need to use gauze Just filter the tea dregs."
Wan'er smiled and shot her a look: "Look at how proud you are."
Sisi insisted on calling him Young Master Fan Xian, and Siqi insisted on calling her Miss Wan'er. The pair of masters and maids in this family, plus these two maids, are really strange in terms of addressing, probably only a man like Fan Xian who has previous life experience. That's why he doesn't care about the so-called fame and status. Fortunately, these three girls can cooperate with him, which is very good.
"You should spend more time in the sun at ordinary times. Don't believe the nonsense of those stable women. If you don't blow the wind, you will be suffocated in the stuffy room." Fan Xian suddenly thought of something, and said very seriously to the daughter-in-law and Wan'er of the Fuji family. Suddenly the old antique got up, and only these two people could speak for Sisi.
"Bah bah..." The daughter-in-law of Master Fuji quickly spit twice and said, "I'm so happy today, how can I say that word."
Fan Xian didn't bother to talk to her, and said to himself: "Vegetables and fruits must be guaranteed, this is indispensable." Turning around, he said to Sisi: "When you can't eat, you have to eat... Some snacks, you let the girls go manage."
"It's over." The daughter-in-law of the Teng family had a thick skin, she gagged Fan Xian's mouth self-consciously, and said, "After all, this is the first one, and there will be hundreds of sons and grandchildren in the future. If the young master is so nervous and wordy, why not?" Toss us servants to death."
———————————
Fan Xian comforted Sisi again, told her a few jokes to relax her nervous mind, and took Wan'er's little hand out of the room. The two were strolling casually in the back garden. Along the way, they saw several capable servants from the mansion rushing over. Seeing them, they hurriedly saluted respectfully, but their expressions occasionally revealed a trace of embarrassment.
"What is this for?" Fan Xian asked with a frown.
Wan'er smiled and said: "This is all to congratulate Sisi, seeing me... Of course I will feel a little embarrassed."
"What's embarrassing?" Fan Xian couldn't be so dull, but he was worried that Wan'er really had a knot in his heart, so he asked deliberately.
Wan'er glared at him, leaned her head on his shoulder, and said softly, "What do you think?"
Fan Xian patted her chubby face and asked with a smile, "Then are you really happy or fake?"
Wan'er's childish face still showed the calmness of a housewife, and there were still those three words: "What do you think?"
…
…
"Am I really nervous?" Fan Xian took Wan'er's hand and walked to a stone bench next to a rockery and sat down, holding Wan'er on his lap. It was quiet here, no servants passed by, Wan'er A little ashamed, he let him go.
"I didn't freeze it carefully either."
Wan'er complained, and suddenly thought of the sentence he asked. After thinking for a while, she raised her head, stared at him with those watery eyes, and said seriously after a while: "That's what I want to ask you. You don't look very happy, and... seem nervous and scared... What are you worried about? Are you really worried about my feelings? You should know that I am not that kind of person."
Fan Xian shook his head, smiled and tightened his arms around her, and said after a while of consideration, "I don't know, maybe I really wasn't mentally prepared to be a father."
"What preparations do you need?" Wan'er was already used to the thinking habits that her husband and men in this world are not very similar, so she asked curiously.
"For example... can I create a good growth environment for the next generation?"
Wan'er smiled and said, "Don't think too long-term. I'm more curious. Is Sisi's belly a boy or a girl?"
"Didn't I say before..."
"Well, you can't count on winning."
"The word must be used very cleverly."
"Then do you like boys or girls?"
"Girl." Fan Xian said firmly.
Lin Wan'er looked at him with some doubts, and after a long while seemed to understand something, she sighed and said: "No wonder you are not very happy after knowing that you have a child... I think it is because Sisi is no longer a girl."
Fan Xian was puzzled, and asked in a daze, "Why do you think so?"
"Girls are pearls. When they have children, they will turn into fish-eyes when they get old. And you... like pearls. Even if you don't play with them, you can just look at them." Lin Wan'er said with a smile: "This is the pearl you once had. If you have written it, don’t deny it.”
Fan Xian laughed at himself, this is Duke Cao's view, although it is somewhat similar to his own... But this is not the real reason why he is still not happy when he learns that there will be descendants.
…
…
"But even if I want to become fish-eyed, I will give birth to you." Lin Wan'er stared at him in a daze, bit her lower lip lightly, and said softly but forcefully.
Fan Xian nodded with a smile, and suddenly said seriously: "I know that there are some strange rules in this world, such as children born in the concubine should call the main wife their mother, and some children are even raised by the main wife, and they are rarely seen. The face of my own biological mother."
Lin Wan'er looked at him, frowning slightly, vaguely guessing what he was going to say.
"Although all big families in the world are like this." Fan Xian looked at her seriously, "But we don't want to do this."
It's not a request, it's not a demand, it's an undeniable notification, it's a no.
Fan Xian didn't want to disturb Wan'er's sour mood by saying such serious words at such a time, but in his previous life, when he was looking at the gate of the mansion in the ward, he was really played by the goddamn middle-aged fish-eyed sister Gao Wa. The son was terrified.
Lin Wan'er nodded, with a look of sadness flashing in her eyes, she said slowly, "I understand what you mean."
"Don't be sad." After a moment of silence, Fan Xian smiled and said, "You have seen all the improvements I made to that medicine in Hangzhou in the past six months, and the most important thing is... Mr. Fei is coming tomorrow, since he dared to come Seeing us, naturally there are good things for us."
The delicate body in his arms suddenly trembled, Lin Wan'er looked into his eyes in disbelief, and said pleasantly, "It's true."
Although this news made Wan'er happy, Fan Xian knew that his relentless words still hurt the other party's heart, but for the sake of Sisi and the child in Sisi's womb, he had to speak up. At this moment, he sighed softly. Firstly, he really felt sullen in his heart that needed to be sighed. Second, Mr. Jin in his previous life had let Xiaobao play this trick in The Deer and Ding Tale, and he had no success with girls.
Sure enough, seeing his serious face, Wan'er immediately waved away the little resentment in her heart, and asked with concern: "What's wrong?"
"Before you also saw that after hearing the news of Sisi's happiness, I was not very happy... On the contrary, I was a little scared..." Fan Xian lowered his head, as if he wanted to find inner support and comfort from his wife's breath.
"There are actually several reasons."
The first reason is naturally that Wan'er will be sad when she touches the scene, this reason has been lightly mentioned before. As for the second reason, it is actually very simple.
"I am a person without a father." Fan Xian said with a smile: "Although I had a father, and even had two fathers, when I was in Danzhou, I didn't have any, and the real one never seemed to be me. father."
It was a very awkward sentence, but Wan'er understood it, and looked around vigilantly to make sure that this sentence would not be heard by others.
"Father, he is very kind to me, but you know, it's not the same thing after all. As for the man in the palace... since Danzhou came to the capital, I have seen him through, even your prince brother and the second brother Brother Huang is driven like a donkey, let alone me, an illegitimate child."
"I am a man without a father." Fan Xian repeated with an emphasis, "So I was very afraid that I would not be a father, so my first reaction was panic."
Fan Xian had no parents in his previous life, and he has no parents in this life. What's worse, in his previous life, it was God who was too insignificant, and in this life, it was his parents who were too insignificant—yes, deep in his heart, he always thought that he was educating his children In this link, his mother did very poorly, which made him very sad.
He had this deficiency in his two lifetimes of growth, which brought a great shadow to his psychology. He may not have noticed it in the past, but today's good news from the Fan Mansion completely reflected his dark side, and he subconsciously Ri refuses to admit that he wants to be a father.
Lin Wan'er looked at him with pity.
"My mother doesn't love me either." Fan Xian said dully, "Maybe you don't believe it, but...she really doesn't love me."
Unable to love, or not to love? The world always thinks that Ye Qingmei is Fan Xian's mother, but only he himself knows that after being reborn into this world, all he has for that distant woman is curiosity and an inexplicable emotion, but as he grows up, The people around him kept talking about that once dazzling woman, the things around them kept telling about that woman's past, and the traces around her kept reminding Fan Xian of the existence of that woman.
Over time, Fan Xian, who had never received maternal love in his previous life, finally got used to this, and began to gradually accept that his mother was Ye Qingmei, and began to attach to this name—the lonely souls of the two traversers may be separated because of the strongest bond between mother and child. communicated.
He admitted this, and said these words in front of Xiao En in the cave on the Western Mountain of Beiqi.
But Fan Xian, who had read the letter in the box and learned many stories from the past, had to tell himself that Ye Qingmei didn't love him, not referring to his soul in this other world, but that he didn't have much love for his son in the flesh. He inherited Ye Qingmei's Overwatch Council's Inner Library Qingyutang, the contacts from back then, and close comrades-in-arms, but these were not left to him deliberately by her, and even if they were left to him, so what
"My mother doesn't love me." Fan Xian said calmly, "Otherwise she wouldn't have left me alone."
Lin Wan'er wanted to comfort him, who was a little distracted, but she didn't know how to talk about it. She grew up in the palace since she was a child, and of course she knew very well what a dazzling figure the long-dead mother-in-law was.
"It's not just because of this." Fan Xian frowned and thought. When the box was opened, he was a little disappointed, because the letter was for Uncle Wu Zhu, not for himself, especially the letter in the letter. The content made him even more disappointed.
"She called me a goddam son," he said with a smile, "and she didn't leave me a word... just walked away."
"This kind of indifference, this kind of calmness, seems a little absurdly calm." Fan Xian frowned thinking about his romantic background, and always felt that his birth might have been an absurd thing in the first place.
He continued talking, but Wan'er was a little chilled when she heard it.
"She didn't tell me how to survive in such a dangerous world. She didn't tell me who is trustworthy. She didn't tell me how to eat or how to love my wife."
Fan Xian laughed: "She has great love for all people in the world, but she doesn't pay much attention to her own children. Isn't that a bit of a jerk? Probably only such a jerk mother would give birth to a jerk like me. son."
After saying this, Fan Xian coughed softly, and Lin Wan'er got off his lap and beat his back one after another.
Fan Xian waved his hands and said with a smile, "It's so dangerous, fortunately, there is my father..." He pointed in the direction of the front house, and said, "There is also grandma, and those two weird old men. Know what it's going to look like."
Fan Xian has always been a very reserved and cautious person, and there is not much time for emotion like today. Lin Wan'er has been unable to intervene. Seeing him gradually getting rid of the blindness of sadness, she just looked at him with a smile and listened to his inner monologue. .
"Listen to me singing a song." Fan Xian suddenly said seriously.
Lin Wan'er nodded, a little curious, what kind of slang song would a big man sing
Fan Xian opened his lips and sang, his voice was clear and full of sourness. His voice was not good, but this tune was particularly lingering, and in the lingering sadness there was a tinge of hope, like a jaw under the eaves after the rain The child who is looking forward to the return of his mother is like a little white cloth figure under the eaves being blown by the wind and rain.
…
…
The song is over.
"What does that mean?"
Fan Xian sang a language that Lin Wan'er had never heard, and the pronunciation of the bytes was a bit weird.
"The general meaning of the lyrics is very simple. It is probably...
How are you, mother
Yesterday I was on the branch of the cedar tree
saw a bright star
star staring at me
Very gentle like a mother
i told the stars
be able to withstand setbacks
is it a boy
if you feel lonely
i will talk
one day maybe
So that's it, looking forward to reply
Mother
a break
a break
…
…
How are you, mother
kitten in the monastery yesterday
was taken away by the people in the neighboring village
kitten crying
hug mother cat tightly
I said that
do not Cry
you will not be lonely
Are you a boy
will see mom again
one day
So that's it, looking forward to reply
Mother
a break
a break"
…
…
Fan Xian smiled and looked at Wan'er whose eye circles were already red, and said, "Isn't it nice?"
"Yeah." Wan'er snorted and asked, "Yixiu is the kid who wrote the letter? So pitiful."
"That's right, a poor child who is extremely smart but can't live with his mother." Fan Xian said with a smile, "It's very similar to me... except that he can send a letter and send it by post, but when I write a letter, he can send it by post." Where to send it?"
"What's the name of the song?"
"My lord."
———————————
In the quiet bedroom, taking advantage of the faint skylight from the window, Fan Xian took out the key, gently opened the outermost layer of the long black box, and then pressed it a few times with his steady fingers, and suddenly began to miss him. Uncle Wuzhu.
Slowly taking out the metal utensils and the thin letter, Fan Xian didn't take a second look, because he was already too familiar with the contents of the letter.
He just stared at the note on the third layer, the note that seemed to be blown away by the wind at any moment. On the note was Ye Qingmei's straight handwriting.
"Hey! If it's Wu Zhu... tell me the truth, who are you?"
Just like on that rainy night, Fan Xian moved his lips slightly and said, "I am your son."
"How did you open this box?"
"I guess it's either my daughter or my son. Let's see the following things when you kill someone, remember!"
…
…
He opened the third layer, took out the thing from inside, glanced at the text on it, and then couldn't help but smiled wryly, and said to himself: "It really is an abortion pill, I said Mom... your spoof can Can't you be creative?"
He was silent in the room for a long time, then raised his head, and said seriously to the box with a confident smile: "Mom, I killed someone, but I don't know how to use this thing. You are always used to treat everything as a joke Come on, so in the end you left me ridiculously, but I am different, I will work hard to survive in this world, as for my daughter or son... Please believe me, I will definitely take good care of him ... At least, it will be better than you."
…
…
(Let me say something first: I sympathize with Wan'er very much, the days will be better in the future, believe me.
Some people guessed that the third layer was going to be opened, and most of them guessed Durex and emergency contraceptives at the beginning... I can only say that everyone's imagination is beyond my or Xiao Yezi's talent for spoofing, I admire it very much.
Today’s chapter has a lot of words because I have always wanted to write a paragraph. What should I write? It's not Fan Xian's psychological shadow, but his feelings for Ye Qingmei, the kind of resentful thoughts he should have once he is truly positioned as the son of man... Mother doesn't love me, I have put this note in the draft for more than half a year, I've always wanted to write it, and today I finally wrote it, which is very good.
That song is my favorite song, Ikkyu's ending song, Fujita Yoshiko's mother, you can search it on Baidu, if you haven't heard it, listen to it, it's really great, this is what I've been working on in the draft If it was marked that Fan Xian must sing, he had to sing it.
Abortion pills were of course Ye Qingmei's self-prepared killer weapon, but Fan Xian's existence proved that she had never used it, and then she passed it on to her descendants as the most important legacy in the world. And Neiku's more important legacy... From this, she loves her bastard son, Fan Xian must be soberly aware of this.
These words and that song are not included in the word count, and the monthly ticket is still doubled. Although the second child is not good-sounding, he is very handsome, and the joy is inexplicable. Please continue to support, I am very grateful.
In the end, I couldn't help but want to say something: It's... really a kind of fate to use Yixiu's song to write Xiao Yezi. ) (, if you want to know what happens next, please log in, there are more chapters, support the author, support the genuine version!)