"?" Chu Danfeng, "You must have seen it wrong."
Hua Tingxuan: "Probably not. Junior Brother might not have noticed it just now. It is clearly written in black on red paper."
… What kind of blunder is this?! Chu Danfeng was greatly embarrassed. Just as he was about to find the two Yakshas to verify, he saw that the entrance to Youquan Palace was empty. Where were the Yakshas
Hua Tingxuan suppressed his smile and tried his best to look less cheerful. "It should be time. Let's go."
… Very good, he never works overtime for a minute, and you can tell at first glance that he is a regular employee.
Chu Danfeng was in a state of confusion and could only hope that Hua Tingxuan was mistaken and that the two Yakshas did not make such a low-level mistake.
However, things went against their wishes. The next morning, they received a wedding invitation that clearly stated "a newlywed couple".
Chu Danfeng displayed his authority as a senior brother, snatched the wedding invitation from his sixth junior brother, stuffed it into his own arms, and ordered him not to reveal a single word. Hua Tingxuan agreed to everything and was as obedient as a little lamb.
Boss Hua thinks very clearly: 'face' is not as important as 'benefits'. No matter what outsiders think, it is he who will get married with Junior Brother tonight.
Thinking of this, Hua Tingxuan couldn't suppress his excitement. For the first time ever, he didn't stick to Chu Danfeng like a big tail. Instead, he hid himself and quietly took out the small painting book.
All of these "picture books" were found in a small brothel called "Jinxiu Tower" at the foot of Shuangji Sect Mountain. The male brothel owner was called Qingfeng, a fox spirit who had transformed into a human form. There was nothing else in the treasure house except all kinds of extremely sexy and erotic pictures of gay men.
It was his treasured possession that he had accumulated for decades, but unfortunately, it was completely looted by the twelve-year-old Xiaohua.
Hua Tingxuan has been studying for many years and has a wealth of theoretical knowledge. Now he is just reviewing before the war. Although the main purpose of the junior brother tonight is to rescue Fang Qingya, it is still the wedding night after all... What if
Chu Danfeng was unaware of his junior brother's scheming, and was telling Lin Shuer, "Keep an eye on Li Yunyi, and don't let him get away. If you encounter someone from Chunyang Island who tries to rob you, it's best to run away. You're outnumbered, so don't confront them head-on."
Chu Danfeng's "fatherly feelings" came to him again, fearing that his little apprentice sister would be bullied, so he simply took out his mustard seed bag and handed it to her: "If you can't run away, here are the talismans and magic tools..."
"I know," Lin Shu'er agreed, and then asked, "Fifth Senior Brother, are you really going to get married?"
Chu Danfeng: "It's an emergency, this is just a temporary solution."
Lin Shu'er seemed to have something else to say, but after hesitating for a long time, she didn't say a complete sentence. Yulou came in at some point, leaned against the door, and said, "Brother Chu, don't do it with other female cultivators in your bridal chamber!"
"..." Chu Danfeng, "Of course not!"
You may not believe it, but there is no strange female cultivator at all!
At this moment, the Yakshas outside the door urged: "The auspicious time has arrived, the bride and groom should prepare to dress and change clothes!"
Chu Danfeng was afraid that Lin Shuer and the others would find out about the misunderstanding of the "newlyweds", so he said goodbye and left quickly. When he left, Hua Tingxuan was already waiting at the door.
The "wedding" in the human world, also known as the "wedding ceremony", as the name suggests, is held at dusk. However, according to the rules of the Fengluo Secret Realm, the ghost marriage ceremony is held at midnight, at three o'clock in the morning.
So the whole day was spent in preparation.
As a single man, Chu Danfeng had never known about the wedding process, but he was quite curious. However, he did not expect that the first question he was asked when he entered Youquan Palace would stun him.
Yaksha asked, "Who among you is the bride?"
Chu Danfeng: “…”
Hua Tingxuan: “…”
Chu Danfeng said embarrassedly: "We are all men."
What he meant was whether the incorrectly filled wedding invitation could be corrected, but he didn't expect Yaksha to say impatiently: "I can see that, I'm not blind. I'm asking, who is the bride?"
Chu Danfeng: "??? They are all men, how can they be brides?"
Yasha's face turned stern: "Aren't we following the rules? It doesn't matter whether you are a man or a woman, we only look at the documents!"
Another Yaksha said, "Hey, sir, we are just working for you, please don't make things difficult for us. It's not our job to distinguish true from false, that's the job of other government offices!"
This perfunctory service attitude, this familiar buck-passing rhetoric...
Chu Danfeng couldn't help but ask: "Are you real officials seconded from the underworld?" The kind with a stable job.
Yasha asked curiously, "How do you know?"
Chu Danfeng shook his head: "Nothing."
Yaksha: "Stop talking nonsense and pick a bride quickly! Otherwise, if you miss the time and can't make it in time to worship heaven and earth, we will not be responsible!"
Seeing that Chu Danfeng had not spoken yet, Hua Tingxuan understood: Junior Brother is such a proud person, how could he be willing to dress up as a woman? In the past, he was ignorant and had trampled on his dignity, but from now on, he would not do it again. If he didn't want to do something, he would do it for him. If he could please Danfeng, what would it matter if he dressed up as a woman
Hua Tingxuan: "Let me be the bride."
Chu Danfeng suspected that there was something wrong with his ears: "Huh?"
Hua Tingxuan said gently: "I don't care about these empty formalities."
After thinking about it, he added a little shyly: "For the sake of Junior Brother, Xuan'er is willing."
This is almost a veiled confession - 'For you, I am willing to do anything.'
However, Chu Danfeng obviously did not understand this confession and shouted: "I'll do it! I'll do it!"
I was so emotional, as if someone had stepped on my tail.
Hua Tingxuan: “?”
Chu Danfeng cleared his throat and said to Yasha calmly, "Excuse me, please register. I will be the bride."
Are you kidding? The Sixth Junior Brother is already gay, how dare he let him dress up as a woman? If he gets stuck in a female role, wouldn't it be even harder to correct his sexual orientation
Hua Tingxuan was still somewhat stunned, and said with emotion: "Little Senior Brother..."
Chu Danfeng waved his hand tragically: "I have made up my mind." Senior brother has really put a lot of effort into this for you.
Yaksha also said, "Mr. Chu is indeed more suitable. He has red lips and white teeth, and looks like a grown-up girl. Mr. Hua is too tall. How can he have such a tall new bride?"
As a salted fish, Chu Danfeng's greatest advantage is that he is open-minded and good at comforting himself. After entering Youquan Palace, he has basically accepted the fact of dressing as a woman and summed up the advantages of dressing as a woman.
Chu Danfeng whispered to Hua Tingxuan: "Just now the Yaksha said that the bride and groom cannot meet before the ceremony. They will meet different people and go to different places. Together, we can just visit the entire Youquan Palace... We will each act accordingly. If we find the 'man in the bamboo hat' or the fourth brother, we will crush the sound transmission jade disc and notify the other party."
Hua Tingxuan agreed to all of them without saying a word - ever since his junior brother agreed to play the bride, he couldn't help but imagine what he would look like in women's clothes.
He had only seen Chu Danfeng as a child in Yaolang Fujin Grass's dream, where he was dressed up as a little girl by his second senior sister. The little senior brother was so cute when he was a baby, and it didn't feel out of place for him to dress up as a little loli.
Now he has grown into the 'No. 1 Beauty in the Bipolar Sect', with slender muscles and a beautiful figure. What would it look like if he wore women's clothes
Hua Tingxuan was still excited, but Chu Danfeng had secretly planned more than a dozen ways to rescue Fang Qingya.
The two brothers, each with their own thoughts, went into the place where the bride and groom took a bath, changed their clothes, and dressed up.
Chu Danfeng was led into a single room, which had a dressing table and a bright red phoenix coronet and bridal robe.
After sending the person there, Yaksha was about to leave. He was greeted by a seductive female ghost. The reason why he could recognize her as a female ghost at first glance was because she had no face.
"Sanniang, your face is not painted yet. Hurry up and don't scare the bride." Yaksha said in a rough voice.
The female ghost whimpered, "Why are you urging me to do it? How can I face people if I don't paint it beautifully? I have been in the secret realm for so many days. I should have seen many ghosts. I am not so timid."
Chu Danfeng's legs almost went limp with fear.
Yasha: "I've sent the people here. I'm leaving now."
"Go!" The painted-skin ghost finally pasted his face on, blinked his newly pasted eyes, and said in surprise: "Wow! What a pretty bride!"
“…” Chu Danfeng barely held onto the dressing table to prevent himself from falling to the ground due to his weak legs.
The female ghost, however, was still in high spirits, circling around him, "Tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk, if only I could draw this face and stick it on my face!"
Chu Danfeng swallowed his saliva and said reluctantly, "Sister, please don't waste time."
"Oh, yes, I almost forgot about the important matter." The Painted Skin Ghost said regretfully.
"Sit down and grind the noodles first."
Chu Danfeng sat obediently in front of the dressing table, but he was actually on guard secretly, in case the female ghost did anything bad to him, he would take action immediately.
Two thin ropes appeared between the Painted Skin Ghost's pale fingers. Chu Danfeng turned his wrist and the Peach Blossom Fan was already in his palm. He asked cautiously, "What is this?"
The female ghost had never seen a monk holding a folding fan as a weapon, so she was not afraid. She said with a smile: "Sir, don't you know? This is the thread used to twist noodles. It seems that you really don't understand. Hahaha, it means to open your face! Twist out the sweat hair on your face, trim your forehead hair and sideburns, eyebrows... Don't worry, I will dress you up beautifully and make you the most beautiful bride in the audience! After your face is opened, you will no longer be a little girl, but a married woman!"
“… …” Does it mean that all ghosts cannot distinguish between genders
Chu Danfeng struggled and said: "I am a man..."
Painted Skin Ghost: "I can see that it's those lazy yakshas again. They made a mistake but refused to correct it. Don't worry, you are not the first male bride, there is nothing to be ashamed of."
Chu Danfeng's heart moved: "Is there another male bride this time?" Wan Fangqingya also suffered this misunderstanding...
Painted Skin Ghost: "It seems there was another one. He came earlier than you. He refused to dress up, claiming that he was abducted and not willing to come here. He shouted and screamed for killing and was very fierce. It is said that they later sent a few Yakshas to hold him down while he was dressing up."
"!!!"
Could the person who was abducted be Fang Qingya
Chu Danfeng asked anxiously: "Where is he?"
Painted Skin Ghost: "You want to see him? You will definitely see him when you take a bath. Now wash and dress yourself first."
Chu Danfeng: "What bath?"
The Painted Skin Ghost pressed him down on the soft chair, twisting his face with his hands, "Before the ceremony, all the newlyweds have to take a bath. Don't worry, I'm the Painted Skin Ghost, my makeup won't fade when it comes into contact with water."
Chu Danfeng was concerned about Fang Qingya's safety, so he was a little absent-minded and let the Painted Skin Ghost do what he wanted.
The female ghost put powder and rouge on his face, and also used black ink to draw his eyebrows.
While putting on makeup, she muttered: "Your skin is so soft, so tender that you can pinch it to reveal water, and so white that you don't even need to put on powder... I'll trim your eyebrows a little thinner to make you look more like a girl... You are such a beauty, and after I dress you up, you will definitely be the most beautiful among all the beauties, and your husband will be completely obsessed with you and lose himself to the world..."
"Okay! Look in the mirror!" The Painted Skin Ghost suddenly raised his voice joyfully.
Chu Danfeng collected his thoughts and looked at the mirror as he was told. He almost blurted out "Fuck!"
Who is that ancient costume beauty in the mirror? !
The Painted Skin Ghost is indeed a professional face artist. The facial features of the person in the mirror have hardly changed, but she looks like a beautiful girl no matter how you look at her. I guess it wouldn't look out of place if she put on the phoenix crown and bridal gown of a bride.
"Sir, you are so handsome that you don't need to spend too much time on it. Just trim your eyebrows and soften the lines of your facial features. What do you think?"
Chu Danfeng: "Okay..."
Good mother! ! (╯‵□′)╯︵┴─┴
He looked at the "beautiful lady" in the mirror. The thought of having to attend the entire ghost marriage ceremony with such a face made him feel so embarrassed that he could use his toes to make a painting of Along the River During the Qingming Festival. If his fellow disciples recognized him, he would never dare to see anyone again.
The Painted Skin Ghost was very satisfied with his "work" and took out a bathrobe. "Put on this, and the headless ghost will take you to bathe later. They are the only ones who won't peek at the bride. Men and women should not touch each other. I will leave first."
After the Painted Skin Ghost finished speaking, he twisted his waist and floated out of the "dressing room" - he didn't go through the door, but passed through the wall.
As soon as the female ghost left, Chu Danfeng felt less scared. While taking off his clothes, he quietly performed a spell to hide the peach blossom fan.
It is naturally inconvenient to carry a magic weapon when going to bathe, but his bamboo-bone peach blossom fan has been tempered by the spirit of the weapon and is not an ordinary item. As long as Chu Danfeng thinks about it, it can return to its owner in an instant even if it is thousands of miles away.
Chu Danfeng took off his clothes and couldn't help looking in the mirror.
… Maybe it’s because of her cauldron-like body, her skin is white and tender. If you ignore her flat chest and today’s makeup, she really looks like a girl.
Chu Danfeng's mouth twitched and he raised his hand...
"Hey, don't wipe it off! I worked so hard to put on this makeup!"
The Painted Skin Ghost, who was saying "Men and women should not touch each other", floated in at the right time, and scared Chu Danfeng so much that he grabbed his bathrobe and wrapped himself in it.
…Fuck, looking at the reaction, I feel even more like a sissy!
At least I put on my bathrobe and followed the headless ghost to the bathing hall.
Along the way, some distant voices, mixed with the tuneless sounds of stringed instruments, entered my ears, "Once the veil is lifted, disaster will surely occur", "The newlyweds get off the eaves of the carriage, go east and west, and do not walk on the old road."
At this time, the ghost marriage ceremony had not yet begun, and no one knew where the voice came from, but there was only a headless ghost leading the way silently. He had no eyes and no mouth, and it was impossible to communicate at all.
Chu Danfeng arrived at his destination with doubts.
The hot spring pool was shrouded in mist, and the shadows of several women could be seen vaguely. They were actually bathing together!
However, the volcanic rocks in the pool are rugged, and several small spaces are separated, which still retains some privacy.
The headless ghost waved his arms silently, urging Chu Danfeng to go down.
Chu Danfeng hesitated for a while, but still thinking that Fang Qingya might be inside, he gritted his teeth and jumped in with his clothes on.
He considered himself a gentleman and refused to look at the nude female cultivators bathing, but he also wanted to find his fourth senior brother. He was torn between the two and hid among a small patch of rocks, pacing back and forth, making a sound of water.
Perhaps the sound of water attracted someone, a familiar female voice asked, "Is anyone here? Great! Sister, can you help me?"
Chu Danfeng didn't dare to respond and dived back into the hot spring with a plop.
"Sister? I see you." The voice sounded more and more familiar.
"!!!" Chu Danfeng remembered, isn't this the clown girl from Bixia Pavilion before
At the same time, the Painted Skin Ghost floated to the other end of the Youquan Palace, where the grooms changed their clothes.
She found Hua Tingxuan according to the documents: "Yes, it's you! I just finished cleaning up your wife, and now it's your turn. Don't mention it, although your wife is a man, she is so handsome, with that little face, that perky butt, and those long legs, so white..."
Unfortunately, before the Painted Skin Ghost could finish his sigh, a big hand grabbed his neck.
Mr. Hua said sinisterly, "You looked very carefully."
The Painted Skin Ghost was a spirit and did not need to breathe, but the Yang Qi on Hua Tingxuan's hands was so scorching that she screamed repeatedly, "I dare not, I dare not! Sir, spare my life. I have to hurry back to comb your wife's hair and change her clothes."
Hua Tingxuan then slowly let her go and asked casually, "What is he doing now?"
The Painted Skin Ghost said timidly and honestly: "It is estimated that they have reached the hot spring pool by now. All the brides are in a hot spring pool. Let's be honest."
Before he could finish his words, his neck was grabbed again.
Hua Tingxuan exhaled: "...Take me there."