Ju Shunmei's heart sank in the struggle.
However, one day, Sun Zhongde's devils died suddenly, and she was suddenly thrown out of the dirty hell, and at the same time, she was thrown out of the paradise of luxurious life. Everything is like a dream, but she can never go back to the past.
That stubborn, brave and just girl died a long time ago.
Seeing Huai Mengde falling into the lost memory, she felt a burst of joy in her heart, thinking that she might inspire his love for her. But in his heart he cast aside such a calculating self.
She suspected that Sun Zhongde and others died under Huai Mengde's hands. Sun Zhongde's bizarre way of death was too much like revenge for her.
She watched Huai Mengde stumbling all the way towards him, knowing that it was not easy for him to get where he is today. She suddenly felt that she had wronged him very much before, and it would be even more immoral to implicate him now.
He is not ruthless to himself, but he hurt him too deeply. After Sun Zhongde's death, he didn't come to see him again, probably because he already knew what he had done, but he still missed his old love and didn't feel sorry for himself. To change someone, as Fan Zinan said, if you don't kill yourself, you have to sell yourself to a brothel.
Thinking of this, the long-lost shame in Ju Shunmei's heart revived.
She didn't dare to look at Huai Mengde again, and said in a low voice: "I, I, come today, just want to see you again, and I am satisfied when I see you living well. I just want to tell you, forget I am not worthy of you, you deserve better."
Li Huaide came back to his senses, looked at the haggard girl in front of him with a complicated expression, and said lightly: "I know, I never hated you."
After hearing this, Ju Shunmei couldn't bear it any longer, tears streaming down wantonly.
She originally wanted to defend herself, saying that Sun Zhongde and the others forced her, but she really had no choice but to say that she had sold herself to flatter her, just to save his life, and she wanted to say that she still loved him, even if she had no name or title. Follow him again. I want to say that he can allow her to follow him like raising a dog.
However, all her calculations were defeated by these words.
She stood up in a panic and said in a low voice, "You have to be good."
After finishing speaking, she turned around and fled out in a panic, not daring to look at him again.
She ran to the door, touched the door, she stopped, and whispered: "An Rulan is not a good person, you have to be careful of her."
An Rulan, who was hiding outside the door and eavesdropping, was so angry that she wanted to rush in and slap Ju Shunmei a few times, but she didn't dare to do so in front of Huai Mengde. She didn't want to destroy her impression of being a timid and kind little white flower in Huai Mengde's eyes.
Li Huaide felt embarrassing, he guessed that Ju Shunmei must be in a very bad situation in the inner court, otherwise she would not kneel in front of his door regardless of shame. He guessed that she came today because she wanted to ask him for help.
Seeing that she didn't say anything, she wanted to run away. He jumped over, handed her a storage bag, and said softly: "Although I can no longer love you like I used to, I don't want to see you have a bad life. Think about you before, take courage, Life will not be more difficult than before. If you are really difficult, you can come to me again."
Ju Shunmei suddenly raised her head and looked at Huai Mengde, who was smiling gently. She felt great grief in her heart. I have missed such a man in this life.
She nodded with tears in her eyes, pushed open the door, and ran out.
Going outside, Ju Shunmei felt that the world had brightened up, and she still had hope. In the past, she also had nothing, but she had the courage to fight against powerful bad guys. Why not now? Although he can no longer fight side by side with him, he is still alive, and he is still alive. Although her reputation is bad, it is impossible for anyone to love her and marry her, so what, in this life, she has loved him, the person who is most worthy of love, and he still has her in his heart, that's enough.
She can practice harder, and maybe one day, she can help him.
She looked at the storage bag Huai Mengde gave her in her hand, and swore she would never use the contents unless she had to.
With a gentle smile on Ju Shunmei's face, she strode towards her dormitory.
An Rulan flashed out from the deserted path on the way, stared at Ju Shunmei bitterly, and cursed: "Bitch, why do you still have the face to speak ill of me to him?"
Ju Shunmei said coldly: "Your mind is impure, do you think I don't know about your plan with your master? I won't allow you to harm him."
Feeling guilty, An Rulan became even more angry, and said, "Why is my mind impure, and I didn't harm him like you did."
Ju Shunmei was stabbed in the heart by her, she sneered and said: "I hurt him, he forgave me, and told me personally that he never hated me. What about you? Did you really love him one day?"
An Rulan froze for a while, then said with a blushing face, "I love him right now."
Ju Shunmei sneered, "What you love is his power. I've seen a lot of people like you."
An Rulan said angrily, "I won't let you get close to him again."
Ju Shunmei smiled and said, "I'm not like you. If nothing happens to him, I won't see him again."
An Rulan asked suspiciously: "What you said is true?"
Ju Shunmei said sadly: "I just need to know that he is doing well, and I will stay away alone and love him quietly."
An Rulan shook her head and scolded: "Idiot! You said that, if you dare to take a step closer to him, I will kill you."
After finishing speaking, she was too lazy to talk to Ju Shunmei any more, and walked away.
It was not easy for Huai Mengde to come back once, so she had to seize the time to deepen her relationship.
If she finds out that Ju Shunmei dares to pester Huai Mengde, she will really try to kill Ju Shunmei. Now that Ju Shunmei thinks she's quitting, she doesn't bother to talk nonsense with her anymore.
After Ju Shunmei, she really worked hard to do the task alone, and used proper methods to support herself and maintain her training. But she was still sensitive to the changes. The deacons who distributed the tasks no longer deliberately made things difficult for her, and some disciples who pestered her to humiliate her quietly disappeared from her life. She knew that this was her former childhood sweetheart quietly protecting herself.
She felt warm and had renewed hope for the future.
An Rulan hurried back to the courtyard where Huai Mengde lived, and she found that she had another enemy.
Tai Wenqian was sitting beside Huai Mengde, talking and laughing happily with him.
Seeing Tai Wenqian, Li Huaide asked in surprise, "How did you get to the inner courtyard?"
Tai Wenqian smiled and said, "What? I'm not welcome?"
Li Huaide said with a smile: "How is it possible, I just didn't expect you to come."
Tai Wenqian said coquettishly: "Thanks to the fact that we have been friends for many years, I am afraid that if I don't come, you won't think of me anymore, right?"
Li Huaide said with a guilty conscience: "Where is it, I am just too busy recently."
He didn't have a bad impression of Tai Wenqian. He felt that she was generous, good at dancing, and always kind to others. In the monastery, no one said anything bad about her. She and Huai Mengde had always cooperated seamlessly and had a tacit understanding.
(end of this chapter)