The huge restaurant suddenly fell into complete silence.
Everyone froze suddenly, and they didn't even hear the sound of breathing. The chopsticks that Mrs. Commander was holding the vegetables froze in mid-air, and the sister-in-law let go, and the soup spoon fell into the bowl with a clang.
Han Yue stood up abruptly: "What did you say? Repeat it for me again!"
"Han Yue!" Old Commander Han snapped, "Sit down!"
Chu Ci sat there with her back straight, her elbows resting on the edge of the dining table, and her slender index fingers intertwined. He raised his chin and raised his neck slightly, showing a thin, straight and somewhat rigid arc.
"Since you didn't hear clearly, I can repeat it to you, Han Yue, let me say, let's break up."
Every time he said a word, Han Yue's face became gloomy. By the time he said the word "breakup", Han Yue's expression could already be described as terrifying.
No one in the restaurant spoke, or even moved. Both the commander's wife and sister-in-law sat there holding their breath, and old Commander Han frowned deeply into a "Chuan".
After a long while, Han Yue put down his chopsticks with a bang, and said coldly: "Chu Ci, you'd better not say this kind of joke next time, I'm not joking with you!"
"Me neither." Chu Ci said in a flat tone, "You may think I'm just joking, but it doesn't matter, I have almost packed my things in the past two days, and the new house has been contacted, just waiting to sign the lease Contract and move in. Thank you for everything you have given me in the past two years, good and bad. I will leave when I go back, and I will not stay for a day."
Han Yue was originally standing, but he didn't know when he found himself sitting on a chair. There was no strength in his whole body, his hands and feet were weak, and he had no feeling, as if his whole body was soaked in the cold sea water, his mind was blank, and his ears were buzzing.
"Han Yue..." Old Commander Han frowned.
Others may not be able to see Han Yue's face at this time, but he, a father, knows his son very well. This youthful and rebellious son is like a wolf cub growing up in the jungle. When he is hurt or provoked, he will only get angry and growl, and then he will rush up and bite the enemy into pieces, eating blood and flesh into the stomach.
He will not be like this now, in addition to violence and rage, more fear and sadness, and even a huge panic that dare not face the cruel reality.
"...Why?" Han Yue murmured, "No, you have to give me a reason... You have to tell me clearly... Why?!"
Chu Ci asked back: "Do you really want me to tell you the reason? Are you unwilling to stay even with the last bit of affection?"
Han Yue has always known that Chu Ci has a sharp mouth, but he just doesn't usually talk much. To tell the truth, his teeth are very poisonous.
Like now.
"Well, since you asked so, I'll make it clear to you."
Chu Ci changed his sitting posture, looking like he usually works in front of the computer, with a dull and serious expression, extremely serious and careful, without any emotional influence.
"When we first met, I told you that I don't like you. If I have the opportunity in the future, I will definitely leave you without hesitation. You have been in the army for most of the past two years. Every time you return Beijing, I am in great trouble. You must carefully follow your wishes when you speak, and think twice about what you do so that you can’t make a mistake. Otherwise, you will have no scruples when you swear. Those words are so ugly that I want to take a knife when I think of it. Kill you. Han Yue, think about it for yourself, if someone points at your nose and swears at you, can you bear him for two full years?"
Han Yue stared blankly at Chu Ci, and said for a while, "...but you didn't tell me at the beginning."
He actually couldn't hear what he said, because of extreme panic and fear, he was in a state of incoherent speech. If he could hear what he said, he could hear the deep weakness and fear in his tone.
"Yes, I didn't say it, because I have no way to say it. What can I do? I can't scold you, please get out of my house, I was handcuffed to a chair for two days; I can't beat you , I finally slapped you, but you kicked your stomach bleeding and went to the hospital for emergency treatment. I wondered if I couldn’t afford to hide, I locked the door in the middle of the night and slept at home, but you blasted the door open with bullets Yes! Do you know how scared I was Han Yue? I was only under 30 years old. I have never had a good life, and I have never enjoyed any blessings. If you shoot me madly, I will die. Who can I talk to?"
Han Yue opened his mouth, but couldn't say a word.
Old Commander Han originally wanted to speak out to persuade him, but when he heard the shooting and the door was shot, he was speechless, so he could only give Han Yue a reproachful look.
"I feel nothing but humiliation and oppression when I'm with you, every moment. It's like having an endless nightmare. For two years I only had it every few months, but now I do it every day, every day. I can't get over it. Even if you recently vowed to change it, it's useless, I don't know when you will suddenly show your true nature, open your fangs and tear me to pieces. - I know you can't change it." Chu Ci suddenly emphasized, Han Yue interrupted the defense that Han Yue was about to utter: "Your temper is like this. Those who follow you will prosper and those who oppose you will perish. You have been spoiled by everything such as family, identity, background and status. If I have no power to let you spoil me, I will change the habits I have developed in the past thirty years."
Han Yue's eyes were almost red, and his voice was broken and he couldn't make a sentence, "It's possible, I will change it..."
"Take ten thousand steps back and say that you will indeed change, and I have no obligation to wait for you to change." Chu Ci smiled, and the smile was very short, and it passed in a flash, "—Han Yue, in the final analysis, I don't owe you anything. , we were strangers."
I can't tell what that smile means. Although there is a smile on the face, there is no smile at all. Instead, there is a feeling of sadness and despair.
Han Yue sat on the chair, as if the last bit of strength had slipped from his body. He couldn't speak or move, he could only stare at Chu Ci, his eyes were bloodshot.
"Commander Han, you said that as long as the Han family can make the decision, you will promise me. I respect you as an elder, please do what you say." Chu Ci pointed at Han Yue and said, "Otherwise, if you leave the Han family's door, Maybe I'll be torn apart by him."
Commander Han's lips moved, and finally heaved a long sigh: "I will do it!"
Chu Ci nodded and stood up: "I'm going to the bathroom."
When the faucet was turned, there was a bang that covered up the conversation in the restaurant outside.
Chu Ci locked the door, and leaned against the edge of the pool motionless.
It wasn't until then that he realized that his hands were trembling slightly, and his heart was beating so fast, as if it was about to pop out of his throat every time. His violent heartbeat seemed to exhaust all the strength in his whole body, so that it was difficult for him to stand up straight, and he had to lean on the edge of the pool to force himself not to squat down.
Han SiLing's angry voice faintly passed through the closed door, as if he was very angry: "Don't you think you haven't made enough trouble in the past two years?... You have to kill people to be reconciled!..."
Han Yue seemed to say something again, because he was so emotional that his voice changed, and he couldn't hear what he was saying.
Chu Ci put his hand under the water and stood there motionless, not even noticing that the splashed mercury stained his shirt.
Through the water flow, one could see a shallow scratch on his palm, which was not deep in the first place, but had almost healed up in the past few days, so it was difficult to distinguish without looking carefully. It was the mark left by the human bone scum cutting through the palm when the muscle was cut.
When his upright and honest father taught him how to play with a knife, he probably never imagined that one day his own child would use this knife to kill people, and more than ninety pieces of corpses would be dismembered. His father was such an upright and almost rigid person, his mind was full of the country and the collective, and he didn't even dare to touch a small calculator from the public house to use it by himself. He really completely ignored the small family and only thought about everyone.
With his brain, he probably can't imagine that there are such ugliness and sins in this world.
Chu Ci tightly clenched his hands, his nails sank deep into the flesh of his palms, but he felt no pain at all.
His whole body was shaking, and his body gradually slid down from the edge of the pool. He squatted on the cold ground, buried his face in his knees, and hugged his head tightly.
When Han Qiang was still alive, he thought that Han Qiang was the end of hatred. After Han Qiang died, he realized that he actually hated himself deeply. If it wasn't for me, many injustices and hatreds would not have happened in the first place, and many people would not have died. They should still be alive and enjoying life.
Before coming to Han's house, he thought that he would die step by step like this, like the teacher and her child died in an instant, like Hou Hongchang died in horror, like Han Qiang bleeding all over the place , Slowly dying of pain after panic and despair.
But when he saw Old Commander Han, he suddenly realized how naive he was. Hatred will never end. Once the seed of hatred is planted deep in his heart, it will definitely germinate and grow into a deformed plant. In the end, it will firmly bind his soul and make him feel sad for the rest of his life. Can't get rid of it.
Han Qiang is not the end, and neither is he himself.
When he saw Old Commander Han, he couldn't control his hands for a moment. The hatred was so strong that it was heart-pounding, making him want to pounce on and strangle the old Commander Han who gave birth to a son like Han Qiang, and wished to drink his blood to devour his flesh, so that the whole Han family could taste the loss of their father and relatives , the pain of losing the pillar of support.
Chu Ci covered her face with her trembling hands, feeling the cold drops of water sticking to her skin, it took a long time to lower the frightening heat a little.
You can't do this, you must never do this... He told himself over and over again in his heart.
Han Qiang died, everything should be over. Taking the lives of others with one's own hands across the borders of countries and laws is a matter of retribution. If innocent people are injured besides this, wouldn't they be reduced to scum like Hou Hongchang and Han Qiang
But even though I warned myself over and over again not to do anything, there was still a voice full of hatred in my heart, always persuading me softly: Why not? Haven't you already killed several people? What does it matter if there is another one
It is not the fault of the son to teach the father. How can a father be better if he raises that kind of son
If it wasn't for his face, how could Han Qiang escape the punishment of the law? If it weren't for such a family background, how could the Han brothers be above the law
It is obvious that the source of everything lies in him, and it is obvious that all misfortunes originate from him...
Two different voices were arguing in my head, my ears were buzzing, and my head was in severe pain as if it was going to explode.
Chu Ci stood up abruptly, took a handful of water and splashed it on his face. The coldness penetrated into the skin, and Chu Ci shivered in an instant, and his mind gradually became clear.
It can't go on like this.
Leaving the Han family as soon as possible, leaving Beijing, and hiding far away in a remote city that no one can find, even if he died, he would die quietly. That's the way he should go.
The bathroom door was knocked twice, and Han Yue's tired voice sounded outside: "Chu Ci?"
Chu Ci paused, and slowly answered yes.
The sound of rushing water flooded the entire small space in an instant. After an unknown amount of time, Han Yue's voice sounded again outside the door: "...you come out, I'll take you back first."
Chu Ci turned off the tap and opened the bathroom door. Han Yue stood at the door, and after just a while, he seemed to be quite haggard. He didn't know if he had cried, and his eyes were still red. He looked a little scary, but also a little pitiful.
Chu Ci asked: "Have you thought about it yet?"
"...Are you really going to break up?"
"Ok."
"...Don't change your mind?"
"No change."
Han Yue stood there with his head down, and suddenly gave a wry smile: "I should have thought that you would tell the old man that, you have been wrong these days, I thought I did something wrong, it made you feel bad... and Haven't you had any happy things in the past two years? I'm just so bad that you can't stand it for another day? "
Chu Ci shook his head, and suddenly asked, "Han Yue, do you like me?"
Han Yue was taken aback for a moment, and then said calmly: "Yes, I like you, I like you to death."
"Then since you like me, can I ask you to set me free from now on? I can live a good life without you, so just treat it as the last time you like me, and let me be free for the rest of my life, okay?" Han Yue ?”
There was no one in the corridor, the light slanted in from the window, and Han Yue's figure zigzag infinitely on the ground. After a long time, he nodded, took a deep breath, and said calmly, "Okay."
He promised so readily, but Chu Ci was slightly taken aback.
"Don't look at me like that, man, it's hard to chase after a word." Han Yue rubbed his eyes with his hands, and although he smiled wryly, his expression was very calm, "I didn't expect you to hate me so much... I really didn't expect it. You see, the old man has already spoken. You are our benefactor. You can't even meet the benefactor's small request. Although I am quite surprised and reluctant to say the truth, it is not a sentence As the old saying goes, twisted melons are not sweet..."
He probably wanted to rub the red threads under his eyes, but who knew it would turn redder and redder, until it was almost moist in the end.
"Don't worry, I'll do what I say, otherwise I'd be nothing. Since you look at me and find it annoying, and you can't eat or sleep when I'm by your side, what else can I do? Let go You go away. I can't let you think of me in the future, and you can't even remember a good thing. Although I haven't done any good things now, you can still think about it in the future. When you leave, Han Yue It's refreshing, I didn't make it difficult for you. Think about it this way, maybe you can still have a good impression of me. "
Although Chu Ci was a little weird listening to his words, and seeing his expression was calm beyond expectation, it was really rare for Han Yue to say that. He nodded and sighed, "Actually, I don't hate you."
Han Yue didn't seem to want to bring up this topic at all, and quickly rubbed his eyes, turned around and walked out, and at the same time interrupted Chu Ci: "Let's go, don't you have to pack your things when you go home."
Chu Ci looked at his figure, hesitated for a moment, and finally took two steps to follow.
Old Commander Han and Commander's wife were sitting on the sofa in the living room, they probably knew the final result, and they were silent when they came out. The commander's wife didn't even lift her eyes, but the old commander Han got up and sent them to the door, and said to Chu Ci in a low voice: "I'm really sorry about Han Yue..."
Chu Ci said softly: "It's okay."
The old commander Han sighed, and then told Han Yue: "Come back as soon as you finish sending people off!"
Han Yue nodded, smiled, and turned to drive.
Although the atmosphere on the way home was heavy, it was very calm. Chu Ci didn't say a word, and Han Yue, uncharacteristically, only focused on driving without even glancing over here.
When she got home, Chu Ci went straight to the bedroom to pack her things. He didn't have much luggage, most of which were clothes and books, and some passbooks and the like. You can't expect to bring all the big things at once. Fortunately, he still has the key, and after he settles in the newly rented house, he can drive back to pick it up.
He quickly packed up his clothes and books, pulled up his suitcase and went outside, only to see Han Yue sitting in the living room smoking a cigarette.
In this short period of time, five or six cigarette butts had already been dropped under his feet. There was no window in the living room, and a strong smell of cigarettes made people have a headache.
"So fast," Han Yue saw him come out, and smiled wryly, "I thought I'd have to wait a little longer."
"No need to send it, I will drive there by myself."
"I'd better give it to you, and then bring something or something..."
"No need." Chu Ci interrupted him and said, "Thank you."
Han Yue was silent for a while, then stood up and walked to Chu Ci. He smelled heavily of cigarettes, and his expression was unexpectedly calm and calm. Although Chu Ci felt a little strangely calm, there was no sign of suddenly getting angry anyway.
"Chu Ci," Han Yue asked, "For more than two years, although I have a bad temper and treat you badly, I really like you after all. Have you ever liked me a little bit?"
Chu Ci took a breath and remained silent.
Han Yue seemed to know the answer, and asked after a pause, "Then you... have you ever hated me even a little less?"
Chu Ci still didn't say a word, and even looked away from Han Yue.
"...I see." Han Yue took a deep breath, then smiled, turned his body sideways, and gave Chu Ci the way to the gate: "—then I won't see you off."
Chu Ci lowered her eyes, tightened her hand holding the handle of the suitcase, and then strode towards the door, passing Han Yue in an instant.
He kept his head down, so he didn't see Han Yue staring at him at that moment, his eyes could eat people.
It was just a matter of a moment, when he just fell down, Han Yue raised his hand behind him, and slashed the back of his neck with his palm!
Han Yue could split at least four bricks with one hand knife, and as long as he used a little more force, the force of that split could completely break Chu Ci's neck bone. The darkness was caught off guard, and Chu Ci didn't even feel much pain, just felt his body go limp, and then completely lost consciousness.
He didn't fall to the ground, and he didn't feel the pain of falling at the end, because Han Yue reached out and hugged him in time.
"Do you really think I'll let you go?" Han Yue firmly grabbed the hair on the back of Chu Ci's head and forced him to raise his head. After a while, he squeezed out a sentence: "You can't wait to leave, even I lied to you so you can’t see it?!”
Chu Ci had no way to answer him. His eyes were closed tightly, his face was stable, and he fell into a deep coma, as if he was asleep and didn't know anything.
Han Yue slowly knelt down on the ground, hugging Chu Ci's body tightly. He hugged so hard that Chu Ci's ribs creaked, but Han Yue didn't realize it.
He buried his head deeply in Chu Ci's neck, his shoulders trembled violently, as if crying.