As an all-round cook, Han Yue doesn't mind the question of "who cooks" like every housewife, but he does mind "who washes the dishes".
Han Yue hated washing dishes. The reason why he washes the dishes at home every day is purely because Chu Ci hates washing dishes more than he does.
For Chu Ci, the housework he does is nothing more than looking at the layout of the house, deciding what to add to this corner, what to subtract from that corner; where to hang the newly bought murals, what flowers to put in this vase …
Then when he decided where to hang the mural, the person who climbed up to the wall with a hammer to nail the nails was of course Han Yue.
Of course, Chu Ci doesn't stay in the kitchen at all. If he is given time, he can spend a whole day in the kitchen leisurely, making a sea bowl of rose dumplings, carved watermelon, strawberry yogurt cheesecake, and fresh milk with fruit filling. Dragon Beard Crisp...
Then all the messy cups and dishes in the kitchen were thrown to Han Yue to clean up.
Han Yue once protested very formally and seriously. He is a handsome man with social status. What does it mean to deal with dishes, dishcloths, dishcloths, and dish soap all day long? !
"..." After being silent for a while, Chu Ci looked up at Han Yue, and replied calmly, "You can choose not to undertake this task."
Han Yue looked into his eyes, and suddenly a chill ran up his spine.
"I can find another person." Chu Ci continued.
"..."
That night, Han Yue rolled up his sleeves, wore an apron, and washed away a large pool of bowls. His labor enthusiasm was surging, and he heroically set a record high.
One night Chu Ci came back and reported to Han Yue: "I won't come back for dinner tomorrow, but a dinner in the unit, and everyone from our department will attend."
Chu Ci later returned to work in the scientific research institute, and that position was still reserved for him. Although he resigned at the beginning, the resignation procedure was forcibly suspended by Han Yue, so in fact he never really left the unit system.
He was originally an indifferent character in the unit, so he didn't cause much sensation when he came back. Regarding the issue of Chu Gong's sick leave for several years, many people only discussed it curiously behind their backs, but expressed their welcome face to face very sincerely and enthusiastically.
Obviously, a young engineer with a certain academic ability, who does not fight for credit or steal the limelight, works quietly and rarely speaks will never arouse any resentment from other colleagues. Even if he comes to work after a few years of sick leave, the factions and interests of other colleagues will not be involved, so others will not be stingy in showing kindness to him.
"Why are you having a dinner party again? Didn't you just meet up last month?" Han Yue was dissatisfied all of a sudden: "Every time you have a dinner together, it's fine, but you still drink, and sing after drinking, a room full of men and women Nest together like a bunch, isn't this an area with a high incidence of accidents? You have a family, so don't hang out with their gang of young people if you have nothing to do, it will have a bad influence."
Chu Ci looked around silently: "Family?... where?"
Han Yue frowned: "I! I have me!! Do you want to deny my legal status?"
"You don't even want to wash the dishes."
"... Aren't I washing this every night?"
"But you don't want to."
After Chu Ci dropped this sentence, he floated to the bedroom to change clothes, and Han Yue petrified inch by inch behind him.
After a long time, this ancestor not only asked others to wash the dishes, but also washed them willingly, happily, and with revolutionary enthusiasm!
unacceptable!
It is tolerable or unbearable!
Han Yuexiong rushed to the bedroom in high spirits, and when he entered the door, he saw Chu Ci with his upper body bare and his back facing him. He threw the shirt on the bed with one hand, picked up the home T-shirt with the other hand, and put it on casually.
"..." Chu Ci changed her clothes, turned around and went to the kitchen to find something to eat. When passing by Han Yue's side, he paused a little, and calmly reminded: "Wipe the drool."
Han Yue's petrified body shattered in an instant, drifting into ashes bit by bit in the wind.
"It's ugly." Chu Ci sighed sympathetically.
After dinner that night, Chu Ci still sat firmly on the Diaoyutai like Jiang Taigong, letting him be blown by the wind and waves, but I stood still.
Han Yue's little daughter-in-law cleaned up the dishes and wiped the table, seeing Chu Ci's peaceful (and approving) expression, suddenly burst into a huge revolutionary enthusiasm that where there is oppression, there is resistance.
He put the rag down heavily, sat at the dining table and announced: "I must go on strike tonight!"
Chu Ci's blood pressure was low after eating, and she was floating in the clouds drowsily, when she suddenly woke up: "Strike?"
Han Yue nodded seriously: "Yes! I don't think this can go on like this!"
"That's great, I'm going to sleep ten hours tonight."
"... Hey, I'm not talking about the strike! This is a very serious issue and you can't get it wrong!"
"That's such a pity." Chu Ci's expression of genuine regret made Han Yue tremble with fear, "Okay, then what kind of strike are you doing?"
"I decided not to wash the dishes tonight." Han Yue summoned up his courage and said, "I decided to maintain my dignity and status as the head of the family! I will never wash the dishes tonight! Unless you give me one, I have to do the dishes." Otherwise, I will continue to strike tomorrow!"
Chu Ci looked at him calmly, just as he was about to say something, Han Yue hurriedly interrupted him: "Don't say you're going to sleep in the guest room without washing the dishes, that's a foul!"
"...Okay." Chu Ci sighed, looking very helpless: "Then you think this is good, let's make a fair bet, whoever wins can not wash the dishes, and whoever loses can go It’s not a foul to work in the kitchen, right?”
Han Yue hesitated for a moment: "—what kind of bet?"
"Let's play cards." Chu Ci calmly took out a deck of playing cards from his pocket. The calmness of his answer and the smoothness of his movements gave Han Yue the illusion of "has he already prepared?!" .
Playing cards is no stranger to Han Yue. In the army, sometimes I stay in a top-secret base for several months, and there is no Internet, no TV, and even the entertainment section of a newspaper. What can a group of people do when they get together? Those without a family can still make a living, while those with a family can only join a table to fight the landlord.
As a master in this way, Han Yue instantly became full of confidence and felt that he was sure to win.
… Then they played the first inning.
Han Yue threw his cards away: "I don't admit it! Absolutely I don't admit it! Three games will determine the outcome!"
… So they finished the second game.
Han Yue knocked on the table furiously: "Coincidence! It's definitely a coincidence! Let's play again!"
… So they hit the third inning.
Just as Han Yue jumped up to growl, Chu Ci stared at him coldly.
"A man who breaks his promise is the most shameful."
"..."
Five seconds later, Han Yue walked into the kitchen holding his nose, with a huge black resentment behind him.
Comrade Han Yue, the omnipotent cook, please continue to work harder in the foam and dirty bowls today.
It is said that after two months of gambling with three games every night, one day Hou Yu went to the army to find Han Yue, and was shocked when they met: "Brother, your complexion is blue and black, could it be that you met a monster?"
Han Yue's veins burst out instantly: "You are so accurate, Daxian, I met a big monster with excellent card skills!"
He told Hou Yu everything that happened in the past two months, and he described the poker game that he had never won once, and described it with full of resentment. Hou Yu rubbed his chin after listening, and said with emotion: "I found that Chugong is really good at playing cards. Does he often play cards with others?"
Han Yue shook his head: "Rarely, he prefers playing games."
"Well, no matter how good your poker skills are, it's impossible to win without losing, right? It's a bit of a chance thing. Besides, you're pretty good at poker. It's impossible to not win once for two consecutive months, right?" Hou Yu pondered for a while, and suddenly had a flash of inspiration: "Could he be out of luck?"
"... out of a thousand?"
"It's hard to say, Chugong's hand... tsk tsk." Hou Yu shook his head very sighingly, and said, "How about this, I will give you a suggestion. Don't you often get some pens with pinhole cameras? Is it spy equipment like a high-precision miniature camera?"
"how?"
"The next time you play cards, just put one on the side of the card table and you're done. Take it out afterward and check it carefully, and watch it carefully scene by scene. If Chu Gong really cheats on you, there will always be a video recorded Yes or no?"
Han Yue thought about it, hey, this idea is very good! So I went home early that night, and put one on the dining table before Chu Ci got off work.
"I'd like to see if you're playing tricks on me, or if I'm really unlucky!" Han Yue clapped his hands, actually quite proud of himself.
As a result, Han Yue suffered another disastrous defeat that night.
Then, as expected, he ran to wash the dishes in a desperate manner.
The next day, Han Yue secretly took the miniature precision camera installed in a vase to the office, and watched it alone for a long, long time. His poor adjutant knocked on the door several times and went in, only to see Han Yue facing the computer alone, with a lewd smile on his face, mixed with a few suddenly realized expressions from time to time...
Boss, are you watching porn
The sky is bright and the sun is bright, and you are a government official with a high salary, but you are hiding in the office and watching porn, there is no limit to this! How tragic!
... You don't even know, show me a look!
Han Yue went home at night, cooked and ate in a calm manner, and sat at the card table in a calm and composed manner.
Still competing for the top spot, still winning two out of three sets.
Han Yue lost the first game without any suspense.
Han Yue lost the second game without any suspense.
The third game... In short, we know that Han Yue can't win!
Chu Ci put down the last king, stood up with a smile, and patted Han Yue on the shoulder: "I'm going to fight Warcraft for a while, don't bother me if I'm fine."
Han Yue didn't obediently wash the dishes with his tail between his legs full of resentment as usual, but suddenly grabbed Chu Ci's hand that patted his shoulder, and raised his head with a smile: "Honey, do you have something in your sleeve?"
Chu Ci pulled his hand back fiercely, but Han Yue's strength was unmatched by ordinary people. He pressed Chu Ci's wrist to death in mid-air, and then methodically untied the cuff of his shirt, and slammed his sleeve Little by little it was lifted up.
A three of diamonds and a five of hearts fell on the table.
Chu Ci's face turned blue and white, Han Yue stood up with a smile, and patted him on the shoulder.
"I'll go to the study to play Warcraft for a while, my dear, I'll leave the dishes to you~"
The sky in the liberated area is sunny, and the people in the liberated area are proud and elated.
Han Yue was so happy that he rolled around in the study as soon as he entered the door, and jumped on the sofa several times. The poor sofa had never been subjected to such a fierce weight, and it immediately made an overwhelmed creaking sound. .
"I finally turned around today! I'm finally no longer the husband of the house! Damn it, what is the head of the family? I'm the head of the family! Miehahahahaha—"
Han Yue turned on the computer, started the game, excitedly found out the earphones and was about to put them on, when he suddenly heard a crisp sound from the kitchen, it was the sound of several bowls falling to the ground at the same time.
Han Yue was about to rush out on conditioned reflex, but then restrained himself abruptly. What a joke, as long as he rushes out, he won't be able to get in, and the dishwashing person will definitely become him again! How can the fruits of victory that were obtained after bearing the burden of humiliation for two months be completely ruined because of a momentary soft-heartedness? Then Han Yue really became a fool!
Han Yue put on the earphones and entered the game, and a bunch of messages popped up in an instant. Before he had time to open it, there was a knock on the study door.
"Are you there, Han Yue? Do me a favor."
Han Yue watched his nose, nose and heart: I'm not here, I'm not here, I'm not here, I'm not here...
"Help me find the Band-Aid." Chu Ci pushed open the door and entered, holding up two bloody fingers with an innocent face: "I cut my hand..."
Han Yue later recalled the scene at that time, and felt that he was simply a cat whose tail had been chopped off, and jumped up in a jiffy, so fast that even the rocket could not catch up.
In the next ten minutes, Chu Ci was settled on the chair, and he held his two fingers peacefully, allowing Han Yue to wipe off the blood bit by bit with a cold towel, carefully poured Yunnan Baiyao, carefully It was wrapped up extremely, and in the end I held it in my hand and looked at it for a long time...
So Han Yue still washed the dishes that day.
Washed extremely remorse, washed willingly.
Late that night in bed, Han Yue held Chu Ci's hand and touched it again and again, making a deep review of his own way of avoiding housework and laziness, and then made a firm promise for his determination to change into a mistake. Comrade Han Yue said that there will never be another such tragic bloodshed; as the head of the family, he must take the lead and take the lead in taking on the heavy work. To ensure the stability of the home and the safety of the family...
"Indeed," Chu Ci commented, "If I'm not safe, you won't be stable."
Han Yue was agitated, and immediately rolled all over the bed, being tough and coquettish, and repeatedly asked the organization to give him another chance to keep it for inspection! You must perform well and live up to the expectations of the organization!
"Okay then," Chu Ci reluctantly said, "Let's keep it for inspection."
So Han Yue worked hard to improve himself, and performed well on the bed that night; as a result, he was kicked off the bed by Chu Ci in the middle of the night, and then kicked out of the bedroom with whips and beatings.
Comrade Han Yue embraced a warm heart, but he slept on the cold sofa all night, it is really sad, sad, sad... ╮（╯＿╰）╭ Hou Yu came to Han Yue’s house the next night After eating, as soon as he entered the door, he saw Han Yue wearing an apron and holding a spatula, stirring up a pot of kung pao chicken.
Chu Ci sat on the sofa watching TV with peace of mind, while greeting Hou Yu: "Come on, sit down and have a cup of tea. This year's new Yuqian Longjing just arrived yesterday."
Hou Yu's temples twitched. After dancing for a while, he finally asked twitchingly, "You... you don't want to help in the kitchen?"
"It's a man's instinct to avoid housework." Chu Ci said peacefully, "In addition, I will always support Han Yue spiritually."
"..."
Hou Yu then angrily went to the kitchen to help wash the vegetables. Han Yue was very happy and said, "That's great! Help me wash those two bags of bean sprouts quickly. I want to get a boiled fish and another hairy blood." Wang!"
Hou Yu was furious: "Actually, you can't do it alone, right? As a man, you actually hate working in the kitchen from the bottom of your heart, right?"
"No, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for being so sensible." Han Yue said, "Actually, I don't care if you come to help me, I just don't like you and Chu Ci staying alone in a room that I can't see."
"..."
Back after dinner that night, Hou Yu was deeply stimulated.
As soon as he lay on the bed and closed his eyes, the scene of Uncle Han wearing an apron and washing the dishes involuntarily appeared in his mind.
As a close buddy who was led by Han Yue to fight and kill in the compound of the military region since he was a child, who beat people up when he was a child, shot people when he was a teenager, and joined the army together when he was young, Hou Yu deeply felt that Han Yue was depraved up.
He tossed and turned and didn't sleep all night. When he woke up the next day, he stared at a pair of red rabbit eyes and called his friend, "Hurry up and find me two beauties from your hotel! They must be able to cook! Steam fry Can cook and fry everything! I can do all kinds of housework!... Shit, I didn’t want it, so hurry up and send it to Han Yue’s house!”
Hou Yu hung up the phone hard, staring at forty-five degrees and gritting her teeth.
—The one surnamed Chu is a vixen.
Han Er, brother is here to save you!
As a result, as soon as Chu Ci came home that night, she saw two hot long-haired beauties standing in the living room, each wearing a sexy chef outfit, holding a large spatula in his hand, wearing black stockings and high-heeled shoes, and his beautiful eyes were shining brightly. .
One of Hou Yu's younger brothers was still standing in the living room, and introduced to Han Yue with a smile on his face: "This is the housekeeping staff sent by Hou Chu to help you with your work. They cook meals with one-of-a-kind professional chefs. What do they do? , but his mother is obedient..."
"What are you doing? What does Hou Yu mean by this? Are you deliberately destroying the harmony of my family?!" Han Yue became anxious all of a sudden: "Send them away! Send them away for me! That's enough, no third party is needed!"
"What are you arguing about?" Chu Ci put the bag away, walked around the two beauties calmly, nodded and said, "I think it's okay, I can stay."
Han Yue burst into tears instantly: "My dear, what do you want to do, you?!"
"I don't want to do anything. But this little girl is so eye-catching at home, she looks like a flower." Chu Ci rubbed her chin and smiled with interest: "Miss, what's your name?"
…
When Hou Yu received a call from Han Yue that day, he was so angry and hoarse.
"Hou Yu, you fucking listen to me! You fucking took the wrong medicine, didn't you? Seeing that my family is harmonious, don't you feel bad? Why don't you send the two girls here to lure Chu Ci into an extramarital affair?! Don't do it It’s a dream, let me tell you! No matter how hard you try to sabotage it, it’s useless! You won’t allow you to destroy the great situation of stability and unity! I cook very well by myself, don’t worry about it!!”
There was a loud bang on the other end of the phone, and Han Yue dropped his new phone again.
Hou Yu held the receiver stiffly... In an instant, he heard ten thousand muddy horses galloping past on the Mahler Gobi.
A hero is sad at the Beauty Pass, Han Yue, you have really degenerated to the point where you don't even recognize your own mother!
Cook, cook, be your fairy banban! !
It is definitely masochistic tendency. The mental illness you suffer from is not called explosive personality disorder, it is clearly called Shaking M’s masochistic tendency, okay
Corruption! Lose power and humiliate the country! ! You have learned Marxism-Leninism in the stomach of a dog, right? ! !
…
Then when Pei Zhi was having dinner that day, he received a call from Hou Yu, and he lashed out at him, "He whose surname is Chu is a disaster!"
"-what?"
"Brother, I support you! I think you were right when you gave my note to Han Yue! Whoever is surnamed Chu is shaking M, Han Yue has been poisoned too deeply, he is finished!"
"—Aha?"
"Brother, I want to praise you!" Hou Yu said impassionedly, "Is your family short of a nanny? Is it a chef? Brother, I will send two hot girls who are professional chefs to your house, and keep you away later The sea of bitterness, become a Buddha immediately, and never have to worry about that vixen surnamed Chu again!"
"..." Pei Zhi said calmly, "It's a good idea, but I don't lack a chef."
"why?"
"Han Yue often cooks too much food, and Mr. Chu will bring it to me in a lunch box. Sometimes I can't eat too much." Pei Zhi smiled: "And I think Han Yue sacrifices himself to feed everyone. The spirit is commendable."
The voice of gently hanging up the phone came from the receiver again, and Hou Yu became petrified again.
Hanyue’s menu tonight is fried shrimp balls with scallions, beef in oyster sauce, fried scallops with broccoli and winter melon and ham soup.
Hou Yu didn't expect that Han Yue, who was seriously stimulated by his "good intentions", would work hard and strive for excellence in cooking, and strive to serve Chu Ci like the Empress Dowager Cixi, so as to consolidate his crumbling family. main position.
For the stability of the family, for the harmony of CP: Danmei masters are above all, every excellent Xiaogong with comprehensive development of morality, intelligence, physique, art and labor should firmly remember that to control Xiaoshou's heart, first of all, control their stomach!
Every well-known good attacker should be able to get out of the hall, into the kitchen, and even get into bed!
Comrade Han Yue, the omnipotent cook, for the sake of your status as the spouse, please work as hard today in the kitchen to burn the small universe.
Comrade Chu Ci is optimistic about you~ godfather!