Everyone has a darkest picture deep in their hearts, and they wish to add countless locks to prevent that picture from appearing in front of them forever.
But people have dreams, especially nightmares. In nightmares, those dark pictures will often visit your world, waking you up again and again from your dreams. Then, the nightmare became more and more terrifying, and the dark picture became darker and darker, and finally became a nightmare.
Deep in Ye Que's heart, there used to be a nightmare, a nightmare that had followed him for decades, and even turned into a demon when he ascended, almost killing him.
That nightmare was originally formed from fragments of a memory.
Ye Que in his memory was still a baby.
The world in my memory seems to be in the middle of winter, the sky is freezing, snowflakes the size of goose feathers are falling all the time, and the ground is completely white at a glance. When he opened his eyes, he was pale, and when he closed his eyes and opened them again, he was still pale, everything was covered by heavy snow.
Ye Que felt that his face, hands, and body were extremely cold, and his eyelids were as heavy as iron. Only the front and back of his body seemed to have a trace of warmth. From time to time, there was a slight call from his ear, "" Don't sleep, don't sleep, don't sleep."
But I still felt extremely hungry and cold, almost reaching the limit of endurance, and at this moment, a trace of warm liquid appeared on my lips.
Instinctively, Ye Que sucked the liquid in one gulp, and sucked as hard as he could, and kept sucking. Slowly, the hunger was finally alleviated, and the body finally gained strength. His eyelids slowly opened, and he saw a gentle face at first sight.
Ye Que could feel that it was his mother, his lips were itchy, and he scratched casually, his little white hand was lifted up, and when it fell, there was a tinge of bright red.
The liquid around the lips was actually blood.
Ye Que, who was still a baby in the memory fragments, definitely didn't have the slightest consciousness, but every time Ye Que looked at it from the perspective of a dream, he often vomited all over because he drank his mother's blood!
Ye Que, who was held in his mother's arms, gradually softened his expression, and wanted to laugh.
However, the picture changed suddenly, and a group of wild dogs surrounded him smelling the smell of blood. Ye Que's mother just took out half a steamed bun from her bosom. This is her food for the whole day, which is why she feeds Ye Que to drink. If you eat a steamed bun a day, there will be no milk.
Perhaps it was because of the cold weather that Ye Que's mother felt a few beats behind because of the cold, and when the group of wild dogs surrounded her, she just took a bite of the steamed bun.
When she raised her head and saw the group of wild dogs around her, she almost subconsciously tensed up all her muscles, staring at the group of beasts in front of her. Soon, she understood that she was hungry, and the wild dogs on the opposite side were also hungry.
She and the son in her arms are the food in the eyes of these wild dogs at this moment.
No matter how fierce her eyes are, they will never exceed the animal instinct driven by hunger.
Without much hesitation, she made a move, keeping her eyes and body still, and carefully moved Ye Que slowly into the tree hole behind her with only one hand.
"Hungry roar!"
Ye Que, who fell sideways in the tree hole, witnessed the most unforgettable and darkest scene in his life.
A hungry mother.
A pack of hungry wild dogs.
Bite into a ball.
It was really biting like desperately, and I don't know where Ye Que's mother got the strength. As long as the hands, feet, teeth, and nails can be used, they can bring harm to this group of wild dogs. Do everything you can.
On the snow-white ground, blood flowers were left one after another in no time.
There were roars one after another.
Brutal and bloody fights.
It became the source of Ye Que's childhood nightmare.
Ye Que knew what happened afterwards, and the passing villagers rescued the mother and son, but Ye Que's mother's face was completely rotten from bites, and there were many diseases on her body. Just looking at her appearance, she was more terrifying than many monsters. Later, Ye Que killed many monsters, but he never disliked monsters, because when he was young, his mother was a monster in the eyes of others.
Nightmare has not appeared in Ye Que's mind for a long time.
But today, it came again.
Because of the appearance of a person, the nightmare instantly appeared in Ye Que's mind. Perhaps in his subconscious, the reason why all this happened was entirely because of this person in front of him.
Ye Zhengru!
That is Ye Que's father.
At the end of the martial arts performance in Tianmen Gymnasium, he appeared and proposed to have a chat with Ye Que. After that, the current scene began.
A pot of tea, two cups, two people sitting opposite each other.
Ye Que picked up the teapot and made a cup of tea, the teapot was put back in place, the cup was full and the cup was empty.
The hot air in the teacup is like a curl of cooking smoke, quickly dissipating, filling the room with the fragrance of tea. Ye Que didn't speak, but just looked at Ye Zhengru calmly, just looking at him, looking at his biological father in name, looking at this great general who was famous in the prosperous Tang Dynasty.
After the tea smoke cleared and the tea was warm and cold, Ye Zhengru finally spoke.
"Your mother?"
Ye Zhengru didn't ask if Ye Que was his son, just like Ye Que didn't ask if Ye Zhengru was his father, that jade pendant is one aspect, the inseparable blood between father and son is thicker than water, which is the key to confirm everything. Sitting opposite each other, you don't need to ask, you know it's him.
"My mother?" "Not here anymore." Ye Que didn't hide anything, let alone scold and complain hoarsely. He answered very briefly and plainly.
"Her?" Ye Zhengru said another word.
But before he finished speaking, he was interrupted by Ye Que, as if Ye Que already knew what he was going to ask.
"Having a bad time."
"I have suffered all kinds of suffering in the world."
"Taste all the world's hot and cold."
Ye Que had been looking at Ye Zhengru's eyes the whole time, and when he finished speaking, he saw a trace of guilt flashing in the other's eyes.
Looking at the guilt look in his eyes, Ye Que's mouth curled up into a mocking smile, and he wanted to say something in his heart, "Fake or not? Fake or not? Disgusting or not? If you were really guilty, what did you do? Who will look at it? Do you still want to use a guilty look in exchange for a father?"
That's what he thought in his heart, but Ye Que didn't say it out of his mouth, not because he didn't dare, but because he didn't want to. She didn't want the woman in the underworld to be sad, she had never said even a single bad word about the man in front of her in her life.
In front of people, behind people, there is none.
"Can you tell me how you have lived these years?" Ye Zhengru did not continue to look at Ye Que, but lowered his head, made himself a cup of tea, and drank it in one gulp. The tea has already cooled down, but it doesn't matter whether it's cold or not, there is no warmth in his heart at this moment.
A cup of herbal tea was exchanged for a severe cough.
Ye Que just watched quietly, indifferent.
It wasn't until Ye Zhengru's cough disappeared that Ye Que spoke again, "Want to hear how we survived all these years?"
"Do you think you are qualified to listen?" Ye Que's words were not in a questioning tone, although every word in the words was sharp, but his tone was very flat, as if he was not talking about himself.
"Many things cannot be decided by me alone." Ye Zhengru looked at Ye Que, "How do you choose between your children's love and the carelessness of your family and country? You don't have this kind of experience, so naturally you can't understand the pain , so even if you hate me, I won't blame you, wealth is in the sky, and everyone has his own destiny."
"Everyone has his own life?"
When Ye Que heard Ye Zhengru's last words, he was taken aback for a moment, and then smiled wryly, "So you told her that."
"ridiculous."
"sad."
"hateful."
Ye Que yelled three times in a row, and at the end he slapped the table and stood up, pointing to Ye Zhengru and said, "Don't you want to hear a story? Okay! I'll tell you a story today. I hope that after listening to it, you still want to listen to it." Will be so at ease!"
"Before I tell you, I want to ask you a question." Ye Que calmed down, and then said, "Do you think that as a woman, living to sixty-thirty is a long life or a short life?"
"According to the statistics of the household department in the prosperous Tang Dynasty, it is considered short-lived." Ye Zhengru thought for a while and said.
"But for some people, it's a long life. She lived eighteen years. She should have died in peace eighteen years ago, but she suffered eighteen years of hellish torture for nothing."
"Some people may say, is she crazy or stupid? If it's really so painful and hits her head against the wall, wouldn't everything be over?"
"Hmph, if it's that simple, how can I say she has a long life?"
This story happened to Ye Que himself, and it was about his mother, Tang Wanru.
Ever since she was a child, Tang Wanru would always say, "Wealth is in the sky, everyone has their own destiny, and a person lives a lifetime, and his destiny is determined a long time ago. I am destined to have a hard life, and I have to be brought up by myself. I promised He will raise you until you are eighteen no matter what."
Ye Que looked at Ye Zhengru and said, "As far as I can remember, she has repeated this sentence several times a day. I didn't understand it before, but today I know that she is encouraging herself. If she can't support me, she dare not die. .”
Pointing to his own face, Ye Que continued, "Have you ever seen the face of a monster? It's ugly and terrifying. But do you know how people describe her face in the village?"
"Uglier than monsters, scarier than monsters, can stop crying at night. In order to protect me, she fought with wild dogs, and her whole face was bitten to pieces."
"Do you know how many meals ten copper coins are enough to eat? You definitely don't know if you live in a magnificent general's mansion." Ye Que stretched out his index finger, "One month! For many years, her family's monthly food is ten Copper plate."
"Because she is ill all over her body and has no strength to restrain a chicken, she can't plant land at all. She can only do some needlework and sell it."
"She has a face like a monster. No matter how beautiful the soles of the shoes she sells, who would dare to buy them? Even if she bought them, how much would she be willing to pay? If others sell them for five copper coins, she can only sell two at most. Is it? It must be a loss. But she doesn't care, as long as she can live, as long as she can continue to drag her son to grow up, she doesn't care about anything. "
"The eyes are blurred, and the stitches often pierce the hands. If the blood drips on the soles of the shoes or handkerchiefs, it must not be sold. I have to start all over again. It was okay at first, but as time went on, the more blurry the eyes became, the more times the stitches pricked my hands. So much until she can’t make ends meet. In this way, her only survival skill is gone, and her income is also cut off.”
"But her son is still young, and she still has to carry on."
"If you don't have any skills, how can you survive?"
"In her heart, there is actually an answer, but she doesn't want to go that way. It doesn't matter if life is hard, but her identity and her dignity tell her that she can't be shameless."
"After carrying it for two days, she saw her son fainted three times from hunger, and she threw her face to the ground."
"From that day on, an 'old witch' begging for food appeared in the villages around Weicheng. She went out before dawn and returned home on time before dark. She doesn't want it, she thinks it's her last fig leaf, she doesn't want other people's children to call her son a beggar."
"In her heart, she has always firmly believed that the status of her son is nobler than the whole village, a hundred times nobler, a thousand times nobler. It's just that I won't tell you, you don't know, that's all."
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"No matter spring, summer, autumn or winter, wind or rain, she has never been lazy for a day. Because as long as she doesn't go out, she and her son will starve."
"One winter, it was very cold. When she came home from begging for food, she found that her son had disappeared. At that time, his son was only four years old. He was hungry and cold every day. He had no energy. He basically didn't go out. Stay in the house honestly."
"She searched frantically, yelled heart-piercingly, and yelled all over the village, and finally found it in the chicken coop next door. At that time, she almost died of anger, and beat her son hard for the first time. When she got home, she Ask, why not at home? Why did you hide in the chicken coop next door?"
"Her son, who was four years old at the time, had tears streaming down his face and couldn't make a sound."
"I am cold."
"Just two words, she cried after hearing it, crying so heartbroken, crying so shamelessly."
"That night, her son developed a high fever, and his forehead was as hot as a stove. That night, she was terrified. Her son was sick and needed to see a doctor, but where did she have money? Not even a copper coin. She knelt and begged It took the whole village, and it was not until dawn that the money for the medicine was collected."
"Since that time, her biggest fear is no longer losing face. Her biggest fear has become her son's illness."
"Just like that, she paid for shoe soles for two years, asked for food for eight years, and her son turned ten years old."
"It was another winter, she went home begging for food, and when she walked to the door of the house, she suddenly fell and fell onto the hospital bed, and never got up again."
"She was only twenty-eight that year, but she looked like she was eighty-two."
"The son lying next to the hospital bed is already ten years old at this time, but his thin body is not as good as a five or six-year-old child in the village."
"She fell ill, what should the family do? She thought about it all night and couldn't come up with a solution. But before dawn, she found that her son ran out quietly in the heavy snow and didn't come home for a whole day. When it was about to get dark, he came home, and at that time, his whole face was red from the cold, and his hair and body were covered with icicles."
"She was about to get angry again, but this time her son told her the truth one step ahead, and took out a handful of millet from his pocket. It turned out that the ten-year-old son went up the mountain alone to cut firewood, and then carried the firewood back to the village. In exchange for this handful of millet."
"From this day on, the burden of the family falls on the ten-year-old son."
"Day after day, year after year, I go up the mountain to cut firewood and go down the mountain to exchange food. He didn't read the book, and neither did she, so I'm the only one with this strength."
"Fortunately, God is not too kind to her son. From this day on, her son has never been sick again. As he grows older, his strength becomes stronger and stronger, and he can chop more and more firewood. If you eat more, you can exchange more food. If you eat more, your body will grow, and you will be able to do more things."
"From chopping firewood to helping others farm, and later helping people graze cattle, helping an old blacksmith to forge iron, and helping a tavern to brew wine. As long as there are jobs in the village, her son has basically done them all."
"Never picky, don't have to pick, and can't pick."
"The days are getting better and better, but her health is getting worse and worse, but it can be seen that she is still persevering, and sometimes my son feels distressed when he looks at it."
Her son actually went to the doctor secretly, and the doctor's answer was, "Vitality has long been gone, and there is no cure for it, that is, he hangs his breath. As a son, you can persuade him, and let go of what you can let go. The knot in your heart Let it go, and you can leave with peace of mind.”
"The son tossed and turned for many days, and then talked to her, and told her everything the doctor said. After listening, she was not too surprised, as if she had expected it long ago."
That day, she held her son's hand and said slowly, "Son, mother is doomed to suffer in this life. In fact, she has long since seen it, and she has long been able to die. But I can't do it now." Die, I have to watch you grow up to eighteen years old, on that day, I will give you something, tell you one thing, and then I can leave with peace of mind."
In this way, her family's boat drifted forward slowly, and she endured it day by day until her son turned eighteen.
Perhaps it was a flashback, this day, she stood up for the first time, then took her son to the yard, pointed to the direction of Luoyang City to the west, "Your father's name is Ye Zhengru, your home is in Luoyang General's Mansion, you grew up now Now, you have to go back and recognize your ancestors!"
After saying this, she stroked her son's cheek with her hand, "Son, mother is tired, really tired, hug mother, let mother take a rest."
under the setting sun.
She leaned on her son's shoulder.
Fell asleep.
The shoulders are very broad, very warm, in a trance, as if returning to a long, long time ago...
(At the end of writing, a song suddenly echoed in my ears, when love is a thing of the past...)