I can never find you.
Zhuang Yi is not bragging.
In the spring of my sophomore year, on March 17th, St. Patrick's Day, Xun Yuming went to Chicago with him. That day is a traditional festival in Ireland. Irish people are well-known for their love of wine. They usually add a little spirits to their coffee. This green carnival was pushed to the climax by alcohol. Flocked to the streets to celebrate, Michigan Avenue was crowded with men and women in green clothes, the entire Chicago River was glowing with green light, one after another floats slowly passed by, the atmosphere was lively and the scene was shocking. Never seen before.
Zhuang Yi asked him to wait in front of a bar on the side of the road. He went to the crowd to buy the pink cotton candy Yuming wanted to eat, but when he came back, the two of them were scattered by the crowd, and no one could find the other.
Xun Yuming was hooked around the neck by a few drinking Irishmen to recognize his relatives, and the group sang and danced wildly. He desperately shouted Zhuang Yi's name, but his voice was like dripping into the sea, completely overwhelmed by the deafening music and noisy voices.
The phone kept vibrating in his schoolbag, but his arm was pulled by the drunk and he couldn't answer it. Zhuang Yi was also sweating profusely in anxiety. He pushed aside one person, and the other person was not him. In desperation, he jumped on the moving float and shouted to the crowd with the microphone of the little star singing: "Little ears! I am on the float Come on, see me?"
Looking down from a high position, his field of vision instantly widened, and he spotted Xun Yuming in the crowd who was waving vigorously at him.
so close.
Xun Yuming came to Chicago for the first time, he was not familiar with the place, and the streets were crowded with people, fish and dragons mixed together, if something happened, Zhuang Yi would be really afraid.
After going back that day, Zhuang Yi asked a senior from the School of Information Engineering and asked for a miniature GPS locator developed by him. The original intention of the research and development of this thing is to prevent patients with Alzheimer's and other diseases from getting lost. Once they lose contact, their family members can locate them at all times. But later, because the things were too delicate and convenient, the project was bought by the Federation to fight terrorist crimes.
Zhuang Yi and the senior who developed the GPS were both in the Red Clothes Team and had a deep friendship, so he asked him for a private one, a piece of metal the size of a grain of rice, to be embedded in the frame of Xun Yuming's glasses.
"I will always find you in the future." That's what he said to Xun Yuming at that time.
Just now Zhuang Yi couldn't find anyone anywhere, suddenly remembered this matter, opened the mobile phone association system to check, unexpectedly located a private nursing home in this city.
"If I remember correctly," Zhuang Yi said while driving the car, "Didn't you just change the frame of your glasses a while ago?"
After changing the frame, why is the GPS still there
Xun Yuming coughed lightly, looked ahead without changing his face, "It's quite a high-end thing, I'm afraid I'll lose it, so I gave it to Grandpa."
Zhuang Yi glanced at him, but didn't go into details, and asked: "For so many years, it must be very hard for you to take care of grandpa, right?"
He didn't ask why he lied to me, and he didn't ask what disease my grandfather had, and he didn't ask whether the breakup had something to do with it. All he cared about was—you've worked hard for so many years, right
Xun Yuming's eyes were sore, he quickly turned his head and said, "No, the nurses are taking good care of them. The environment of this nursing home is very good, in fact, it's better than living at home."
He said the word "good" three times in a row, and emphasized it so deliberately, it just shows that he thinks it is not good. People say that "a golden nest and a silver nest are not as good as your own grass nest." No matter how good the environment in a nursing home is, it is still not home. Xun Yuming knew how much my grandfather wanted to go back, but my grandfather's ability to take care of himself was declining day by day, and his personal medical knowledge was limited, so staying at home by himself was not helpful for controlling his illness.
Xun Yuming also proposed several times to come back to take care of him, but his grandfather pushed him back every time with a strong attitude, scolded him for not knowing how to cherish a precious career, and said that the two of them must be struggling with the pension alone. No amount of persuasion is allowed.
There is a lot of hard work in it, how can Xun Yuming not know, but there is nothing he can do.
Compared with the guilt accumulated in my heart every day, other things such as the high debt caused by long-term burden of huge medical expenses, the anxiety of not being able to find a nurse who is willing to take care of such patients, and the helplessness of suddenly receiving a phone call from my grandfather who is sick in the middle of the night... are just nothing. It's just the little things you get used to.
Zhuang Yi stretched out his long arms, took out two tissues from behind the seat, handed them to him, and remained silent.
Xun Yuming wiped the corners of his eyes, sniffed his nose, and said: "Actually, it will be much better after work, and my grandfather has a lot of pension. My money will be used for him to pay for the nursing staff to take medicine, and his own money will be used to pay the hospitalization fee. It's nothing."
He didn't want to cry, he didn't cry when he supported him alone for so many years, but facing Zhuang Yi, he felt so wronged and wanted to cry for some reason.
Zhuang Yi knew that he was embarrassed, so he didn't stop the car, didn't look at him deliberately, and changed the subject without a trace: "Old Chen heard that you will resume work tomorrow, so he immediately arranged the preoperative discussion meeting in the morning. If you delay for a long time, someone else will come to compete with you for the main knife, and make it difficult for him."
"Dean Chen is quite smart." Xun Yuming burst into tears, at least he now has a career he loves, a leader who takes care of him, and a reputation that others can't envy. What else is he not satisfied with? .
"Of course, it's all good people who can get to this seat." Zhuang Yi smiled, and wanted to ask him when it would be convenient, so he would go to see his grandfather himself, but he was afraid that he would be taboo, and he didn't want people to see his grandfather sick. After thinking about it for a long time, I still couldn't ask. "What do you want to eat tomorrow morning? I'll bring it to you along the way."
Probably only eating is the safest.
"No need." Xun Yuming held a roll of toilet paper and leaned against the car door wearily, "It's quite troublesome."
Zhuang Yi didn't refute, chatted all the way and drove into the community, and sent Xun Yuming home.
He has a lot of things in his heart that he wants to ask and say, but he also knows that now is not the time, especially this afternoon, after seeing a corner of the past. Xun Yuming is like a flower that blooms on the edge of a cliff that people dare not touch. You know that he is extremely fragile, but you also know how tough his roots buried in the rock wall are. You appreciate him, love him, and can't wait to have him , but he had to be picked carefully, otherwise both of them would be smashed to pieces.
But Zhuang Yi wants this person, he wants to find Yuming.
Maybe the breakup was a last resort, maybe not, he no longer wants to fight with himself, no longer wants to torture himself. He knew that repeating the same mistakes would probably lead to no good results, but it was so hard to be unwilling to support him, and the moment he saw him, he had already lost his armor. No matter how Xun Yuming's character is, whether he has difficulties or not, he just wants him, he can't change it, and he doesn't want to change it.
Xun Yuming was worried all night, Zhuang Yi knew about his grandfather, would he ask him? Can you guess what happened before? Will you explore the past? He wasn't sure if the lie he told had been discovered. He was afraid that Zhuang Yi would expose him, and he was even more afraid that Zhuang Yi knew it but pretended not to know it. Oops—wanted to rekindle with him.
He had pushed him away with all his strength, and he was bruised all over his body in the process, but he couldn't restrain his physical impulse. When he saw Zhuang Yi, his heartbeat would speed up, but he couldn't take a step, or he couldn't be completely indifferent .
Is he trying to sweeten Zhuang Yi
Has he become the kind of person who hangs others
Xun Yuming got up, took out a small bottle of Sinuosi, hesitated for a long time and was afraid that there would be side effects that would affect his work tomorrow, so he only cut half a tablet and swallowed it, and he gradually fell asleep.
Early the next morning, Zhuang Yi knocked on the door with breakfast, but he hadn't gotten up yet. After knocking a few more times, Zhuang Yichao dialed his phone number, Xun Yuming woke up in a daze, got out of bed and opened the door for him.
"Why so early?" He said casually, wrapped in plaid pajamas.
"It's half past seven, is it still early?" Zhuang Yi put things on the desk, soup dumplings, vegetarian porridge, assorted side dishes, and went to several places to buy them.
There was half a glass of water and a small white bottle on the table. Xun Yuming went to the bathroom to wash up, but he didn't take it. Zhuang Yi looked down, looked at the words on the description, and frowned. He opened the drawer, found a bottle of medicinal Vc, reversed the two bottles of medicine, and put the medicine bottle back to its original place.
When Xun Yuming came in, he saw the drawer was open, and asked, "What are you looking for?"
"Have a headache, get some ibuprofen." Zhuang Yi held the Vc and said, "Your medicine has expired."
"Has it expired?" Seeing the bottle of Sinuosi, Xun Yuming quietly put it away, and said with a smile, "Then throw it away."
Zhuang Yi conveniently threw the Vc bottle into the trash can, opened the porridge box, and went to the kitchen to get the bowl. Xun Yuming stopped him and said, "What time is it, don't pay attention to those things, just eat like this, the lunch box is not dirty."
"Eat it." Zhuang Yi didn't feel like eating, "I've eaten it."
It was indeed too late today, Xun Yuming hurriedly finished his breakfast, and rushed to the hospital with Zhuang Yi. There is a preoperative discussion in the morning, and neurosurgery, anesthesiology, oncology, laboratory, radiology, etc. all participate. The meeting room couldn't accommodate so many people, so Lao Chen simply asked everyone to go to the circular auditorium in the administrative building. When they arrived, there were already seven or eight people, and the seats were almost full.
When Lao Chen and several vice presidents saw Xun Yuming, they hurried up to express their condolences and reminded him to be careful in the future. Xun Yuming agreed one by one, and sat in the exclusive seat in the first row. Zhuang Yi said a few words to Lao Chen, but he didn't intend to leave. He walked forward along a circle of chairs, and sat across from him by seven or eight people.
As soon as he sat down, Xun Yuming's pressure increased sharply, and he remembered that he was the psychological counselor for this operation, and he also wanted to attend the meeting. But it's one thing to interact with him in private, and it's another thing for him to witness his work status and be observed carefully like a specimen.
The feeling he had when he watched his operation last time in the observation room came back again, Xun Yuming's scalp was numb with embarrassment, as if he was naked and was watched by thousands of eyes, and he didn't know how to position his hands and feet properly. He pretended to listen to Lao Chen's speech, but he was disobedient from the corner of his eye and scanned the opposite side.
Zhuang Yi hooked the corners of his lips, lowered his head and moved his phone, his body leaned forward slightly, and his eyes suddenly looked over.
"Clang!"
The lid of the cup fell off smoothly, Xun Yuming blushed, causing quite a commotion.
Lao Chen was interrupted by him, his words paused, everyone looked at him, but Zhuang Yi looked away. Xun Yuming's heart was pounding, he thought it was all caused by the half of sleeping pills last night, so he didn't dare to go on a errand again.
After a while, the phone buzzed twice, and another text message came in. Xun Yuming failed to concentrate, took out his phone and turned it on quietly.
Zhuang Yi: "Come and live with me."
The author has something to say: Sinuosi: a sleeping pill.