He waved goodbye to his only companion in a cool manner, along with the life that was burned down by the fire.
He was eleven years old that year, only two-thirds of his current height, and was excited to conquer this new world. However, the bumps and cold weather prevented him from taking his first step smoothly, and he fell to the ground.
His companion exclaimed and jumped off the car body, running over to help him up. But Li Xuan insisted, "You go."
But the best time to leave has been missed.
I don't remember many times when I was so seriously ill. Li Xuan was always in good health, like a tree growing in barren soil, which can survive with just a drop of water. His eyes were red from the burning, and he had no strength in his body, but his mind became clearer and clearer.
"You can go now. I don't need to take medicine or come to the hospital."
He forced himself to open his eyes and analyzed the situation with Zhao Jizhe in a very organized manner, "We agreed that I would take you out of the orphanage, and then you would do your thing and I would do mine... I just have a cold, and I won't take any medicine and it will be fine in a week... You go west, I heard there are many small cities suitable for living there, and the climate is also very good, don't you like places like that? Go to the driver who brought us here and wait for him at the drop-off point, and ask him if he knows anyone who is going to deliver goods to the west. It would be best if someone is willing to help you... If not, how much money do you have left? You can always find someone to take you... Go far away and forget about everything about the orphanage, including me."
"Nineteen, I won't leave..." Zhao Jizhe shook his head desperately.
"Just go if I tell you to. Don't play me a sad story." Li Xuan broke free from his hand. "If you don't like studying, go learn a skill. Don't you know how to pick locks? You can find a locksmith shop. If one is unwilling to teach you, find ten or a hundred. You can't earn anything by working for nothing. There will always be someone willing to do it."
Zhao Jizhe cried anxiously, thinking that he must have been confused by the fever: "I can open the lock because they always put you in solitary confinement... I have to bring you food, what kind of skill is this... I won't leave, I am your brother, I have to take care of you. Don't talk, Nineteen, your voice is hoarse, I am afraid, I am afraid of you..."
He didn't dare to say the last word. Li Xuan cursed him in a hoarse voice: "I won't die! As long as people want to live, they will not die!"
"Oh, this child is so stubborn." The woman who came to collect the bill knocked on the wall as if she was watching a joke. "Don't make a fuss here. It's time to pay. A small clinic like ours can't afford to pay on credit. The child has to pay too. Hurry up."
"I'm not here. I don't need to take medicine." Li Xuan wanted to pull out the needle, and he sounded aggressive, but his voice was actually so hoarse that it was barely audible.
"You have to pay the bill first before you leave. You're almost suffering from pneumonia, and you're still strong. You better go far away and don't die at my doorstep." The woman hummed a tune and walked away, her high heels tapping on the ground.
"It's okay, Nineteen." Zhao Jizhe held his hand tightly, "You need to take medicine, and you will be well soon. We have money and can buy medicine for you."
They only had 500 yuan in small change on them. Li Xuan was running low from the fever, sometimes awake and sometimes asleep. It was eleven days later when he walked out of the simple clinic. No matter how much money he had, it would not be enough. But Zhao Jizhe paid the medical bills.
“Where does the money come from?”
“I picked it up.”
Zhao Jizhe still had the same opinion as before. He rubbed his eyes and looked at the deserted snack street opposite. "I have some impression of it. It turns out that street also sells food..."
In fact, it has changed a lot. It used to sell boxed lunches to truck drivers. The stalls were simple, and the worn-out tables and chairs were always covered with a layer of oil. The carts were not decorated with such colorful stickers, and there were not so many patterns.
The stall at the end now sells oden, with a string of carp flags waving in the wind. It used to be a wonton stall, the only thing that was similar was the rising white mist, which would not change for many years. On the day when Li Xuan could finally leave the clinic, it was here that Zhao Jizhe bought him a bowl of wontons with the last money he had "found".
"I've eaten, you eat it, you just need to replenish your body." Zhao Jizhe said, just like giving him milk in the orphanage.
Later, Li Xuan also knew how to "pick up money". As if he was stuck in a vicious circle, he used the money he "picked up" to actually save Zhao Jizhe's life.
"Go ahead. You came from here, so you should go back here."
The waiter brought up the appetizers. Hearing these words, he looked back and forth at them curiously, but when he met Li Xuan's cold eyes, he quickly backed away.
Perhaps because Li Xuan behaved abnormally today, Zhao Jizhe had a premonition in his heart. His reaction was not as intense as usual. He remained silent, his thin face trembling constantly. After a long time, he said, "That's not what you said last time."
"I regret it." Li Xuan replied calmly.
This word was so strange to him that Zhao Jizhe took a long time to speak: "Why?"
"No reason."
“I don’t know what I did wrong.”
"You're not wrong." Li Xuan laughed at himself, "I'm scared."
"Are you... scared?" Zhao Jizhe looked at him in disbelief, wondering if he had misheard.
"Yes, I am afraid."
Li Xuan's expression and tone were both light-hearted. He could naturally stand up to block the south wall for Zhao Jizhe to crash into, but he was cautious when throwing stones, fearing that the falling tiles, stones and bricks would damage the jade bottle.
He took out the locator and gently pushed it in front of Zhao Jize, and saw that the latter's expression suddenly changed: "Nineteen, I... I, I don't have it..." He hurriedly took it, and threw it away in a panic like a hot potato.
"You have it, but this is useless." Li Xuan said calmly.
"You knew it long ago." A trace of resentment flashed across Zhao Jizhe's face, and he sat down dejectedly, "You are laughing at me..."
Li Xuan did not comment, Zhao Jizhe said with difficulty: "Nineteen, I will change, I..."
"You just care about me? Right?" Li Xuan picked up a piece of chicory with chopsticks and stated calmly, "You won't change, you can't do it, you can't control yourself, and there's no way to predict what you will do. You have to go."
"Where are you going?"
"Leave N City, go anywhere you want."
"Be a locksmith?" Zhao Jizhe still remembered the joke he made when he was a child. "I taught you... After you leave the orphanage and no one locks you up, have you ever picked a lock?"
"I've pried it open." Li Xuan thought of that bizarre, embarrassing, yet extremely lucky night when he and Sheng Min were standing in front of the security door. Sheng Min asked him hesitantly in a low voice, "Did you not take the key when you went out?" His expression softened a little, and the look he gave Zhao Jize became sharper.
"When I was in prison, there was a thief who broke into the same room. He could open any lock... Then one year, I don't know what the prison was thinking, they even held a competition. Of course, they got the upper hand, and the first place winner could get his sentence reduced by one month." Zhao Jizhe muttered, "I also want a reduced sentence, so that I can get out earlier... Nineteen, if you didn't have so many things now, we could still be like when we were kids..."
"Impossible." Li Xuan interrupted mercilessly, "You will come out sooner or later. You have to leave. I need a normal life. You can only live a normal life if you leave me. You can't just jump into a trap when you see one. You haven't made any progress in all these years."
"I'm not leaving."
Li Xuan leaned forward and looked at him: "Zhao Jizhe, you should know that it's not that I have no solution, but I have given you too many chances. Since I said this today, it means that you have touched my bottom line, and you can't stay here anymore."
"I won't leave." Zhao Jizhe still insisted, just like he did back then.
"It's not up to you." But Li Xuan is no longer the same as before. He stood up, lowered his eyes slightly, and said condescendingly, "We are not relatives, I don't mind being your enemy."
He took the coat that was draped over the back of the chair, fished out a card from it, held it between his fingers, and counted lightly with his fingers: "I must spend this money today, you take it and leave... Or, I'll let someone else take it and send you away. I tried it last time, you probably don't want to choose this path..."
The waiter who was about to bring the food stopped in fear when he heard his words. He watched, hesitating and not daring to step forward.
"Nineteen..." The feeling of suffocation from Li Xuan's hand on his neck came over him again. Zhao Jizhe swallowed his saliva and vaguely saw the white platform of the hospital filled with waste.
"You've been in Qingshui Lane for so many years and have been in prison. I think you know the market better than me," Li Xuan turned the card in his hand nonchalantly. "You're not worth the money, but I like to settle it cleanly."