It was only six o'clock when I got home.
But in the deep winter, the sun disappears early and it is as dark as night.
After a simple dinner, they leaned on each other. Each of them had something on their mind, but they didn't talk about it. They just stayed close to each other quietly, feeling each other's heartbeat and breathing.
Snowflakes were falling outside the window. I remembered that on the way back, the car radio said that the city was about to experience the heaviest snowfall in nearly 60 years. But the two of them snuggled together, and it seemed that they could barely create a small world of their own, relying on the warmth of each other's hands to get through it.
Sheng Min didn't know when Li Xuan got up. It was only five o'clock when he woke up, and there was no one around him.
After putting on his coat and walking out of the bedroom, Li Xuan saw that the light in the study was on. He frowned slightly and looked at the computer with a focused expression.
"Are you up?" About a quarter of an hour later, he noticed Sheng Min at the door.
"Eat something?"
"I'm not hungry yet." Li Xuan said, "Why don't you sleep a little longer?"
"I can't fall asleep after I wake up." Sheng Min smiled, and seeing Li Xuan extending his hand towards her, she walked over and held it.
"It's so cold?" Li Xuan pulled him to sit on his lap and turned up the air conditioner temperature a little.
The fluorescent light from the computer screen dimly illuminated Li Xuan's sharply curved jawline, and the insignificant fragility from yesterday seemed to have disappeared overnight. This realization made Sheng Min feel a pang in her heart, and she rested her forehead against Li Xuan's shoulder to hide her own gaffe.
"What's wrong?" Li Xuan touched his back. "Cold?"
"No." Sheng Min shook his head, sat up straight, and tilted his head to look at Li Xuan's computer. He couldn't understand the rows of codes. He lowered his eyes and pinched Li Xuan's fingers, and whispered, "Do you need money?"
Li Xuan smiled, Sheng Min looked up at him and pretended to be angry: "Why? It's not shameful to use my money."
"You're keeping a gigolo?"
"Yes." Sheng Min also said in a relaxed tone, "Not happy?"
"I'm happy to do that." Li Xuan smiled and said, "Not yet."
"How long is temporarily?"
"About two or three weeks." Li Xuan held his fingers and said casually.
Sheng Min stepped back a little, resting his palm on Li Xuan's shoulder to look into those black and white eyes. He didn't know how Li Xuan calculated the two or three weeks. Was it just the company's daily expenses? What about relationships? What about compensation to partners? ... ... But he felt that it was too cruel to ask these questions now, so he hugged him again and whispered in his ear: "You have to tell me, Li Xuan. I will help you find a way, and I will give you whatever you want."
The warm breath fell on Li Xuan's neck, and Li Xuan touched his hair: "I know."
After dawn, Li Xuan went to the company and did not come back at night. He worked overtime all night, and did the same the next day.
Things at the company were not going smoothly. Although Sheng Min was not clear about the progress, almost a week had passed and "Yi Yu" still had not been restored to the shelves of major software platforms. This was something that could be seen without asking.
The heavy snowfall predicted by the weather forecast came a few days later than reported, and the snow and wind were unusually strong. The flowers in the vase might have been exposed to the snow on the way there, and the flowers withered in the vase due to the alternating cold and hot weather in just half a day.
Sheng Min took the dead flowers out and threw them away. Then her cell phone rang and she received a text message from Li Xuan, saying that he would not be going home today and asked him to eat by himself and go to bed early.
Below Li Xuan’s message, the two most recent ones were sent by Deng Jing and Zhang Shan respectively.
After standing there for too long, the lights in the corridor went out. Sheng Min lowered his eyes and put away his phone. After thinking for a while, he went home, put the carrot and oxtail soup that was simmering on the kitchen stove into an insulated box, and drove to the software park.
It was dinner time, and not many people were in the company. After the administrator made the call, he politely said, "Mr. Li is in a meeting. Please wait for him in his office."
She looked at the young man who claimed to be a member of Li Xuan's family with a little curiosity. His hat and mask covered most of his face, leaving only his beautiful and inexplicably familiar eyebrows and eyes.
Relatives, brothers? She speculated: "I'll take you there."
"Thank you." Sheng Min shook his head gently, "No need to lead the way, I know which one it is."
Perhaps for the sake of ventilation, the office windows were half open on such a cold day, and it felt much colder inside than in the hall.
The wind blew a corner of the document that was pressed down by the paperweight on the table up and down. Sheng Min coughed, went to close the window, and put the thermos bucket on the edge of the table, only to find that several documents were blown onto the carpet.
He bent down to pick it up and was about to press it down again with the paperweight when he suddenly saw the words on the top page and his hand stopped.
It was a lawyer's letter from a partner, demanding compensation for the losses caused by the game being removed from the shelves. The amount was not exaggerated, and it was no exaggeration to say that it was a lion's mouth.
If you flip down further, you will see several pictures in a row, as if they were made beforehand.
Sheng Min bit his lower lip. Suddenly, he heard Li Xuan's voice outside the door. He was not sure who he was assigning work to, but there was a seriousness in his tone that he was not familiar with.
He quickly put the letter back to its place, and just as he reached the door, it was pushed open from the outside.
When Li Xuan saw him, his slightly tired and stern expression was replaced by a faint smile. He locked the door and kissed his cheek: "Family?"
"How else can I say it?"
Li Xuan rubbed his hair: "What happened?"
"Nothing, just checking on you." Sheng Min pointed to the thermos on the table, "Have you eaten? I brought you some soup."
"That's great. I was planning to go there." Li Xuan said this, not knowing whether it was true or not. "Have you eaten?"
"have eaten."
Sheng Min saw Li Xuan approaching the table and must have noticed the document. He quietly pushed it to the bottom before sitting down and picking up the chopsticks. He couldn't help but frown secretly and pulled a chair to sit next to Li Xuan.
Li Xuan fed him a spoonful, Sheng Min drank it and shook his head: "No, eat slowly, it's hot."
While drinking his soup, Li Xuan turned on his computer. The screen was filled with schedules.
Qi Boyuan was not there, so he had more meetings than before. As they were talking, they heard a knock on the door. They looked at each other, and Sheng Min got up and went to the lounge.
The person who came was Chu Tianheng. He was talking about the game update at first. There were too many professional terms, so Sheng Min couldn't understand. After talking for a while, through the door, she vaguely heard Chu Tianheng talking about the players asking for refunds in the backstage. The attitude was arrogant and bad. She couldn't help but feel nervous. Li Xuan probably didn't expect him to talk about this matter. Chu Tianheng just started, but before he finished, he interrupted him and said he would go to the meeting room to talk and took the person away. So Sheng Min didn't know how he answered.
He pursed his lips and sat down on the bedside a little tiredly. When his palm touched the bed, he suddenly felt something was wrong. He didn't turn on the light and didn't pay attention. Now he lowered his eyes and found that the bed was still covered with a thin autumn blanket. It was bare and neat without a wrinkle, as if no one had slept there for a long time, and there was no quilt at all.
It can be seen what kind of life Li Xuan has been leading recently. It is rare for him to have a good night's sleep.
This trip was really the right one, Sheng Min lowered his eyes. It wasn't that he had such bad luck that he didn't encounter any good things. It was just that the company was full of bad news during this period, and he was sure to get it.
He couldn't help but sigh and covered his eyes tiredly. After a minute or two, or even less, Li Xuan came back.
"Gone?" Sheng Min asked casually.
"Well, I went downstairs to eat. Come out now." Li Xuan joked, "It's like a **."
Sheng Min was still a little absent-minded and asked casually, "Do you want to try it?"
Li Xuan was stunned, then smiled: "I am willing to do it with you, but I am afraid that you are shy, so let's forget it today."
Sheng Min came back to her senses and smiled cooperatively, letting him lead her out and sitting back at the table, but she didn't say anything.
Li Xuan drank two mouthfuls of soup and realized that he might have heard something. After a moment, he said without thinking, "They are all small matters. We can handle them."
Refund is a small matter, is the lawyer's letter also a big deal? Is it a big deal? Or has he made up his mind to handle it all by himself, so it doesn't matter whether it's big or small? Sheng Min looked at his obviously thin face, his expression was still determined. Li Xuan always has a confident attitude, making it difficult to tell whether he is facing an abyss or a smooth road. I felt sour and angry in my heart, and finally it all turned into pain, dense and like needles.
Li Xuan avoided his eyes, lowered his head and drank a mouthful of soup, then changed the subject: "They used scallops as the base? It's very fresh."
"It stewed all afternoon." Sheng Min said.
"Didn't you go to the theater today?" Li Xuan asked casually. When he didn't hear Sheng Min's answer, he raised his eyes vigilantly, "What's wrong?"
Sheng Min lowered his eyes and inappropriately remembered that the black sweater Li Xuan was wearing today seemed to have appeared in a secretly taken photo.
He remembered again what Yin Qianpin said after Zhang Shan left that day.
"You don't need to tell me, you don't need to explain, I already knew it. Isn't it just that you have a boyfriend? Deng Jing saw it and told me. Don't be angry with him, he treats you as a friend, and he is afraid that I will embarrass you if I find out later, so he came to plead for you, but he didn't look like he was pleading for you. Before I could say anything, he scolded me first."
"Does he need to tell me? I don't mind at all. What kind of evidence is a few photos? Did they take pictures of you having sex? So what? If you hold a press conference tomorrow and make it public, I won't even blink an eye and will still use you."
'The drama industry doesn't have so many restrictions and so many people watching. If you act well and are suitable, the role is yours. The contract is here. If you are willing, we can sign it. I don't want to listen to what your Mr. Zhang says. I just want to ask you what you think...'
What is he thinking? What can he think now
He wanted Li Xuan to be happy, even if it was just a little bit. He wanted Li Xuan to stop being tortured by life and to be able to eat well and sleep peacefully.
Maybe all I need is some more money.
"I haven't been to the theater these days." Sheng Min said slowly, "I was not chosen for "Bu Jiu Shan", and they decided to let Deng Jing play the role."
"When did it happen?" Li Xuan's hands froze, he put down the spoon and frowned.
"Drink your soup." Sheng Min smiled. "It's been a few days, but I didn't tell you because you were busy."
He saw the suppressed heartache and even inappropriate grievance in Li Xuan's eyes, so he leaned over and slowly held Li Xuan's face: "I'm fine, it's okay after trying. When I first found out, I was a little disappointed, but after a few days, it doesn't matter anymore."
Sheng Min could see that Li Xuan wanted to ask something else, but he was afraid of touching on his sad memories, so he didn't dare to speak rashly. This made it easier for Sheng Min to continue telling this lie.
"I've been thinking these days that maybe I don't have to act in a play. The rehearsal a while ago was quite enjoyable. But if you make this your career, there will definitely be unexpected worries..."
"I just want to act in something I like. I am not completely without autonomy now. I can continue to sign with an agency, make movies and TV series, and choose scripts carefully."
As Sheng Min said this, he felt that he was about to be convinced. He thought that he didn't have that many regrets. If he could solve Li Xuan's troubles, it would be enough to offset everything.
"Continue to sign with the management company? The current one?" Li Xuan pressed his hand on his cheek and asked cautiously, "Do you want to renew the contract?"
His tone and expression clearly showed disapproval, so Sheng Min quickly said, "It's not confirmed yet. The company has been contacting me, and I've seen the conditions they've offered, which are actually very generous. Although the cooperation in the past few years was not always pleasant, there wasn't much friction, and we know each other well. Changing to another company may not be better than now. You know I'm nostalgic, and I don't like to change."
Li Xuan fell silent.
Their hands were still intimately pressed together, but Sheng Min suddenly could not feel the warmth between them. In this silent moment, he asked himself in his heart, is this good? Is this right
He has acted in and read so many scripts about love. Every screenwriter is a master of emotions, and they use the characters in the play to preach some great truths, saying that love must be honest and real.
But when he looked at Li Xuan, he remembered the numbers on the lawyer's letters and the information behind the scenes. Maybe this was just the worst appearance, maybe the actual situation was not that bad. But how long has Li Xuan not rested? Sheng Min could not ignore the pressure behind those sleepless nights.
A deep feeling of powerlessness enveloped him. He didn't want to cheat and didn't like it. Everyone knew that this was wrong and shouldn't be done, but he was trapped in it, and love and pain blinded his eyes, so he couldn't see the other way.
"Did you encounter any trouble in terminating the contract?" Li Xuan suddenly asked.
"No." Sheng Min smiled and shook his head. At least it wasn't a lie, he thought. It wasn't a big deal, it was a decision he had to make. "Since I can't perform in the drama anymore, I have to think about the future. I can't just stop working in the future."
"Please wait a little longer." Li Xuan looked at him for a while. "I don't mean to interfere with your work. I don't want you to regret it. Even if this play doesn't use you, there will be the next one. There are more than one drama troupe in the world. You can wait."
Of course he can wait, but what about Li Xuan
He couldn't help but feel a little sour in his nose, and threw himself into Li Xuan's arms and hugged him. Li Xuan thought he was acting like a spoiled child, and gently stroked his back: "Sheng Min, I hope you can be freer, happier, and do whatever you want. Don't worry, don't you still have me?"
Isn't that what I hope for? Sheng Min pursed her lips, not wanting to reveal any sign of misconduct.
"Okay." He quietly put his arms around Li Xuan's waist.
How could he have any regrets? What he was doing now was making the choice that made him happy.