After Yang Xu left, Li Xuan had been looking out the window towards the elevator entrance until his neck was sore. Finally, he saw the two of them coming back. He breathed a sigh of relief and lowered his head to look at his phone to cover up.
Sheng Min noticed his action and pursed her lips. She thought he might mind it very much. So she stopped Yang Xu who was about to get in the car and said, "You sit in the back." Then she opened the passenger door and sat in.
Yang Xu was stunned for a moment, then sat in the back row as he was told. Li Xuan frowned and glanced at him.
"Brother." Yang Xu cried out inwardly, thinking that Li Xuan had really been lying to him just now. He was clearly having a conflict with his brother, but he was still saying something else. If it wasn't an emotional conflict, could it be something else
Li Xuan simply didn't say much, stroking the small mole on his wrist, and soon looked out the window again. Yang Xu quickly called the driver and asked him to come back quickly.
On the way back, the atmosphere was still very strange, and the car was strangely silent. The driver drove very fast, just wanting to send the person off as soon as possible. Yang Xu tried to talk to Li Xuan several times, but Li Xuan only said "hmm" in a non-communicative way, which made him feel annoyed and he had to stop talking.
In contrast, Sheng Min was the most relaxed one, only occasionally meeting Li Xuan's gaze in the rearview mirror, and then quickly looking away. Li Xuan's face became even darker.
The driver drove as fast as he could and in about twenty minutes, he actually drove back to the entrance of the community.
"Brother, now we are leaving. Do I need to take you upstairs?" Yang Xu said.
"No need." Li Xuan responded casually, put on a hat and mask, and walked into the gate without looking back.
He walked fast as always, with the corners of his clothes fluttering in the wind. The elevator happened to stop at the first floor, so he entered and pressed the floor button. However, at the moment when the elevator was about to close, Li Xuan looked at the path with no one in the distance, stretched out his hand to block the elevator door again, hesitated for a moment, and walked out.
He found a random spot in the entrance hall and absentmindedly flipped through his resume. His eyes kept drifting towards the door, but no one came. He turned off his phone and walked out. As soon as he left the building, he ran into Sheng Min.
The latter was also stunned when he saw him in a hurry. The two stood one step away from each other, and could vaguely smell the faint fragrance of lotus leaves brought by the night wind - there were lotus flowers planted in the pond in the community. There was a lot of rain this year, and there were not many flowers in June, but the pond was covered with lotus leaves.
They looked at each other for a moment in the lingering lotus fragrance, but Sheng Min lowered his eyes first and passed by Li Xuan.
They got into the elevator, went upstairs, and entered the house one after another.
Li Xuan went straight into the study. Sheng Min thought that maybe they should have a talk, but Li Xuan always had a cold face. He really felt tired, so he took his home clothes and went to the bathroom.
After taking a shower, it was already dark. Sheng Min glanced at the closed door of the study, took out his phone and ordered two bowls of porridge. It showed that the order had been received for less than five minutes when the doorbell rang. Sheng Min opened the door with some confusion, and the delivery man handed him a bag: "Your takeaway."
"So fast?" Sheng Min was puzzled. He glanced at his phone, which showed that he was still picking up the food. "Was it delivered to the wrong place?"
"No." The delivery man looked at the house number and lowered his head to check, "Mr. Li, this is the one, right?"
“I ordered it.”
Sheng Min just reacted when he heard Li Xuan's voice from behind. He didn't come over, probably because he was afraid that the delivery man would see his face.
"Oh, yes." Sheng Min smiled and took the bag, "Thank you."
He closed the door and turned around to hand it to Li Xuan. There were two bowls of porridge inside. Li Xuan did not take the bag and only took out a bowl.
Sheng Min originally wanted to say that he had already ordered, but then he felt that was too pretentious, so he simply didn't say a word.
Li Xuan was also silent, and took a bowl of raw fish porridge back to the study. Sheng Min took back his hand and saw that the other one was osmanthus and lily.
He didn't remember telling Li Xuan that he liked sweet porridge, so he guessed it was probably a coincidence. He was a little hungry after smelling it, so he sat in the dining room and drank it slowly. After the dishes were cleared, the takeaway he ordered finally arrived. Sheng Min put the two bowls of porridge in the refrigerator. It was still early, and there was nothing else to do. He just found a book to read.
He had no intention of waiting for Li Xuan, but he had finished reading most of the book. The clock had already passed one o'clock, and the study door was still motionless. Sheng Min still felt some indescribable emotions in his heart.
I'm not angry, but I'm a little annoyed.
Actually, this shouldn't happen, Sheng Min propped up his head with his hands. He has been in the entertainment industry for many years and is used to seeing other people's cold faces. When he participated in an event when he was not famous, the organizer did not coordinate well, and there was no lounge in the winter, so he stood in the recording studio for half the night. Yang Xu was so angry that he wanted to argue, but Sheng Min just felt a little cold in the wind and wanted to go home. The other staff apologized insincerely, but he could still smile and say it was okay, you worked hard too.
But now... Sheng Min looked at the closed door of the study room, feeling like a ball of catkins was blocking his chest. He lowered his eyes, and his eyelashes cast a light shadow on his eyelids. He guessed it must be because he was too sleepy.
As Sheng Min thought about this, he began to feel sleepy. After a moment's thought, he threw the book aside, got up, went to the bedroom, took out his pillow and quilt, and threw them on the sofa. He opened the door of the study and said calmly, "I'll sleep in the living room tonight. You can rest after you're done with your work."
Li Xuan sat behind the computer and hummed. When Sheng Min notified him, he ignored it and closed the door. The moment he heard the door lock click shut, his fingers finally stopped flying on the keyboard.
Li Xuan pinched his shoulders expressionlessly, tilted his neck, and his bones made a crackling sound. The light in Sheng Min's study was not bright enough, and the light from the computer was particularly dazzling in contrast.
He had been self-taught in programming for a long time, and had many bad habits. In the following years, he had been very deliberate in making changes, and was very concerned about the simplicity and readability of the code he wrote tonight. However, when writing these tonight, Li Xuan loosened his collar, and used his usual words to insult others, like a shroud.
He didn't want to admit that he was upset, but he couldn't avoid the screen full of codes. He closed his eyes tiredly and turned off the computer after a while.
In the living room, Sheng Min lay quietly on the sofa. He was facing the backrest and did not move even when he heard footsteps. It seemed that he had fallen asleep in such a short while. Li Xuan did not turn on the light and went to the bathroom to take a shower in the dark. It seemed that the hairspray on his head could not be cleaned no matter what he did. He washed it three times before he felt barely refreshed. He wiped it with a towel and went into the bedroom.
Of course I couldn't sleep, even though it was already two o'clock in the morning. Li Xuan sat up from his bed. There was a crack in the bedroom door, which was just enough to see the scene in the living room. It was probably because it was not closed tightly when I came in, and it was blown open by the wind.
He leaned against the back of the bed, the moonlight flowing like water over the slightly raised quilt on the sofa. Li Xuan remembered that the quilt seemed to be moon-white, just like the bed he was on, the satin was cool and smooth. Sheng Min seemed to like this material very much, and there were several cushions of the same material on the sofa. He also remembered that the sofa in Sheng Min's house was exceptionally soft, and he would sink into it when he sat on it. If he slept like this for a night, he would definitely have a sore back the next day.
These details, which he had never noticed before, suddenly appeared out of nowhere and entered his mind.
It was not a big deal. When he was working on a project, he could sleep on the chair all night. Earlier, he could also avoid the bridge hole... It was not a question of whether he could sleep well or not. Li Xuan frowned. If he could not sleep well, it would not be because the sofa was too soft.
As he thought about this, his brows furrowed even deeper. He wanted to smoke a cigarette, but he didn't know where he had thrown the cigarette box. He grabbed a cup and was about to drink a sip of water, but the bottom of the cup was empty.
All the things that go wrong are actually caused by just one thing.
He grabbed a cup and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water, then sat down on the armrest of the sofa.
One second, two seconds... ... One minute later, Sheng Min lifted the quilt, supported himself on the sofa, and looked tired: "What are you doing in the middle of the night?"
Li Xuan took a sip of water and moistened his lips: "Go in and sleep."
He said, and bent down to pick up the quilt. The sofa was narrow, and one corner had fallen to the ground. He had just picked it up when Sheng Min grabbed the other end, and the two of them were in a stalemate for a while. Li Xuan spoke a little impatiently: "I didn't say anything, and you got angry first."
"You didn't say anything." Sheng Min said calmly.
Li Xuan frowned at him. Sheng Min added: "I'm not angry."
"You're kidding me." Li Xuan pulled the quilt over and took his pillow with him, then turned around and went into the bedroom.
Sheng Min had no choice but to get a new quilt, which was placed in the bedroom cabinet. She had no choice but to follow him in. She reached out and turned on the light, and was about to speak when she saw that Li Xuan's hair was still wet. She subconsciously said, "Why didn't you blow dry your hair?"
"Aren't you asleep?" Li Xuan said casually.
Sheng Min said: "Don't you know I'm not asleep?"
Li Xuan threw the quilt on the bed without saying anything. Sheng Min sighed and went to the bathroom to get the hair dryer: "Blow it dry, I have a migraine. If you sleep with it wet, you will definitely have it tomorrow."
The buzzing sound came, and after a few words, it seemed to be less awkward. Li Xuan scratched his hair with his fingers and suddenly asked, "Why do you like men?"
Sheng Min thought that he really didn't ask, but once he started asking, it was impossible to answer. But there was no reason for this kind of thing, so he said softly, "I don't know. Why do you like women?"
Li Xuan paused for a moment. He wanted to throw out an answer, such as gentle and beautiful, but when he thought about it carefully, this was not unique to women. Most importantly, he did not seem to have ever liked a woman.
He has never loved anyone, and he can't say who he will love in the future.
Sheng Min didn't hear his answer, nor did she ask further: "I was wrong not to tell you about this matter. In our current situation, I should have told you about this kind of thing."
"I don't mind that." Li Xuan interrupted him, "I don't have anything to tell you... I didn't talk this afternoon, not because I was angry, it's just too sudden, I need to think about it."
"What are you thinking about?" Sheng Min asked.
Li Xuan did not speak immediately. He blew his hair half dry, turned off the hair dryer and said, "Men and men, don't you think..." He considered the words, "Strange?"
Sheng Min felt that this was not the word he wanted to say, so he said softly, "Why is it strange? It's a different era now, you must have never heard of it before."
Li Xuan remained silent for a few seconds: "I've heard of it."
His voice was deep, and Sheng Min felt that his attitude was a little strange. He glanced at Li Xuan, and suddenly an idea came to his mind, and he blurted out: "Have you been harassed by a man?"
Li Xuan turned his head suddenly. Sheng Min was shocked by his gaze. After a long while, she heard him whisper, "It's not me."
Not him? Sheng Min frowned. There must be someone. Then who is it
He still hadn't figured out the whole thing, but Li Xuan didn't seem to want to bring up the subject anymore: "Whatever, it's none of my business anyway, so I won't talk about it anymore."
"So what you actually wanted to say just now was disgusting." Sheng Min looked at the deep wrinkles between his brows.
Li Xuan's back stiffened for a moment: "No."
Sheng Min stopped talking, and Li Xuan raised his hand to turn off the light: "Go to sleep."
The bedroom darkened again, and they lay down on their respective beds, with a vast expanse of space between them. They were like lying in coffins, stiff and motionless.
Sheng Min was still thinking about what Li Xuan had just said. After a while, he turned his head slightly and said in a gentle voice, "If you have had some trauma in the past and find this kind of thing intolerable, I can completely understand. But, you obviously can't accept it, so why do you have to drag me in to sleep with you? Are you annoying me or yourself?"
Sheng Min stopped talking after saying this.
Li Xuan stared at the ceiling in a daze. He thought Sheng Min was right. Why did he have to drag him in? Li Xuan himself felt strange and couldn't explain what he was thinking at the time.
Sheng Min didn't know what he was thinking. He just thought he was tossing and turning beside her, feeling uncomfortable. She sighed, "Okay, I don't think we can sleep anymore. I'd better go out."
As he was about to stand up, Li Xuan suddenly put one hand across his shoulder, half stood up, and pushed him back down.
"What are you doing tonight?" Sheng Min asked helplessly.
Li Xuan looked into his eyes, and he suddenly knew why he had to pull Sheng Min in.
He thought that Sheng Min was very cautious, but his sexual orientation was known by his assistant and his manager, who he did not have a good relationship with. Who knows what happened in the past. Sheng Min did not know how many times he had been looked down upon for this. He did not want to let Sheng Min fall into bad memories again because of his attitude.
But what he thought, said and did might have a different meaning in Sheng Min's eyes.
"I have a friend," Li Xuan said, "who was molested by a homosexual when he was a child... This incident changed almost the entire trajectory of our lives."
Perhaps it was because of the third person involved. He spoke very briefly, and Sheng Min didn't understand the cause and effect. Li Xuan obviously didn't want to explain more. He just held Sheng Min's shoulder firmly with one hand: "So when I found out today, it was indeed very sudden. But it's not about homosexuality, it just reminded me of something old, and I didn't handle my attitude well."
He exhaled: "It's not your fault that you like men." Li Xuan paused and said softly: "This is not a fault in itself."
Sheng Min slowly raised his eyes, and Li Xuan lowered his eyes and looked at him.
They have exchanged bodies, and what he sees now is actually his own eyes. But what is behind his eyes? Can he see Li Xuan's soul? Can Li Xuan see his
Sheng Min suddenly felt sad and embarrassed.
All the emotions that one wanted to hide and ignore seemed to sweep in from all directions at this moment, and then disappeared the moment they touched Li Xuan's clear eyes.
Li Xuan let go of him and spoke seriously for a while. He seemed to feel a little awkward and coughed: "Okay, I'm done. If you find it inconvenient, I'll go out and sleep."
He stood up and got out of bed, but Sheng Min grabbed the corner of his sleeve and said, "If you don't mind, why should I mind?"
"Stop it." Sheng Min let go of his hand, turned his back to him, and said, "Go to sleep."
Li Xuan didn't say yes or no. After a while, Sheng Min felt that the side of the bed seemed to sink a little, and he smelled a faint smell of shampoo. The shampoo at home was used up. This bottle was picked up by Li Xuan at the supermarket that day. It was the scent of fresh figs. This scent enveloped him like a veil, and this time he really fell asleep.