"How did you know?" Qi Boyuan looked at Li Xuan's expressionless face. "Are you sure? When I came up here, I didn't feel him following me."
"Why don't you go and check it yourself?" Li Xuan said in a light tone.
Qi Boyuan shook his head and looked at the wooden door. He was always well-mannered, but he couldn't help but frown at this moment: "Who is this person?... If you hadn't mentioned it before, I wouldn't have asked. When I returned to the company in the afternoon, Xiao Ding came to me very nervously and said that you had brought him to the company before and she had seen him before, but she didn't recognize him in the resume or photo, so she let someone in, fearing that you would be angry... So who is this person? Your friend? And what happened this morning? I thought there was some deep hatred and he came to collect debts... What does it mean that he sent his resume to our company? It involves the company, so I have to ask a few questions. No job and lack of money? He wants to borrow money from you in this way? Mainly, I don't think you knew about it in advance..."
He asked a long list of questions, but he actually felt that his answer was untenable. He knew Li Xuan's character. When they first met, he worked day and night to take on all kinds of outsourcing. He acted as if he had never seen money, but in fact, he regarded money as nothing. If he really came to borrow money from him, it would not have come to this.
"Someone I knew before." Li Xuan finally spoke, his expression still obscure and difficult to understand.
There was no address, no positioning, he only answered the first question, and Qi Boyuan blocked all the questions with one sentence.
"Okay." Qi Boyuan was short of breath and pushed his glasses. "Then at least tell me what he is doing now? Waiting at the door to apologize to you?... Then I don't understand the logic of him sending a resume to the company... If he really needs money and is looking for a job, he should at least tell you if you know each other..."
“There’s no logic to it.”
“Everything has a backing…”
"He said he wanted to get closer to me." Li Xuan narrowed his eyes and said coldly, "This is fucking logic."
"He said that himself?" Qi Boyuan's eyes widened in surprise. "No, what is that..." He suddenly stopped, glanced at Li Xuan several times, then looked at his phone, and moved his Adam's apple with difficulty. "I have an immature idea..."
"No." Li Xuan pointed out his speculation and whispered, "He has had girlfriends before, more than one..."
"That's also..."
"Even if he doesn't like women, he definitely can't like men."
The two sentences sounded inconsistent, but Qi Boyuan was still embarrassed to ask about Li Xuan's private affairs. He couldn't say anything more after the person involved said so much.
"Then I really don't understand."
"You can understand. You are guarding outside the door now."
"I'm sick." Qi Boyuan said subconsciously. Seeing Li Xuan pursing his lips and looking at the door, he hesitated for a moment, "Then now..."
Halfway through his words, Li Xuan walked straight to the door.
"Wait, wait." Qi Boyuan stopped him, "What are you going to do? ... ... You're not going to fight?"
"Do you want to join us?" Li Xuan said in a hoarse voice.
Qi Boyuan shook his head: "No, you are free..." Then he thought about it and felt uneasy again, "Do you need me to follow you? I can do that, actually."
Li Xuan didn't look back or answer. He opened the door and walked out, then slammed it shut.
I don't know if it's the disinfectant, but the hospital always feels much colder than other places. The light from the incandescent lamp falls on the spotlessly clean tiles, forming an extremely faint light band that extends to the end of the corridor and is interrupted by a sudden shadow.
Perhaps because he heard his footsteps, Zhao Jizhe, who was originally squatting on the ground, stood up hurriedly from about ten meters away.
"Nineteen..." he called out in a low voice.
Li Xuan ignored him and turned into the corridor. Just as he took out a cigarette from his pocket, Zhao Jizhe followed him in.
"I'll do it. Use mine."
Before he could take out his lighter, Zhao Jizhe quickly lit it and handed it to him. Li Xuan stood there without moving, Zhao Jizhe's hands were sore from holding them up, he finally nodded, held the cigarette in his mouth and lit it.
The wind picked up at night, and there was no sound for a long time. The sound-activated lights in the corridor also went out. Only a little shadow of a spark fell on the wall, half bright and half dark.
Li Xuan finished smoking a cigarette in silence, then lit up the second one, took a puff, and said, "Go see a psychiatrist. I'll give you money."
Zhao Jizhe was stunned and raised his head in panic. He seemed to not understand: "Nineteen, what did you say...?"
"Can't you hear me?"
"Why?" Zhao Jizhe bit his lower lip, "I'm not sick, I don't need to see a doctor."
"Do you think this is normal?"
"I didn't do anything..."
"Nothing?" Li Xuan blew out a smoke ring. "Followed me from the company to the hospital. What else do you want to do?"
"I don't want to think about anything. I'm concerned about you, Nineteen." He said earnestly and innocently, "I'm worried about you. Is your hand seriously injured?"
"Serious, it's useless."
Zhao Jizhe looked at him in fear, and then heard Li Xuan say coldly: "But it won't stop me from destroying you first."
He spoke without hesitation. Zhao Jizhe looked at him in disbelief. "I don't understand. What are you angry about, Nineteen?... What's wrong with me wanting to be closer to you? I've known you since you were so young, and I've always considered you the closest person to me." His lips trembled, "... I've been thinking about the time in Qingshui Lane, even in the orphanage. It was so difficult back then, and we had no money, but I knew what you were doing every day, and it wouldn't be like this. You may not believe it, but I would rather go back to the days when I had nothing..."
"Don't give me that." Li Xuan interrupted him harshly, "I'm telling you clearly. I don't want to, I never want to go back. You can say such things because you are eating and using my things now, and you are living a good life, so you can think about scheming against me every day!"
"I'm not plotting against you. I'm just concerned about you. Why can others do it but not me?"
"Others? Oh."
Li Xuan sneered, pulled the corner of his mouth, and thought that Qi Boyuan was really in trouble.
"Is it because I have been in prison?" Zhao Jizhe's voice was trembling and he spoke with great difficulty. "Is it because I have been in prison before?"
"You want to hear me say no?" Li Xuan laughed mockingly, "If I say yes, what can you do?"
He looked at Li Xuan in disbelief, standing in the wind, like a trembling quail: "But, Nineteen, I... you know, I did that all for you..."
"For me?" Li Xuan sneered, "Aren't you afraid of biting your tongue if you brag too much? For what? Huh?"
He threw the cigarette butt away and grabbed Zhao Jizhe by the collar. He was even wearing the T-shirt he wore this morning, which was still stained with Li Xuan's blood. "Did I warn you not to get involved with those bastards? They will eat you up skin and flesh, not even spit out bones. As expected, you got yourself into trouble! I cleaned up the mess for you just so you can blame me? I'll tell you clearly again, Zhao Jizhe, I don't owe you anything."
"You don't owe me anything, but I did it for you." Zhao Jizhe was trembling all over, but he still insisted, "We are family, and everything I did was for you."
"Relatives? My relatives died a long time ago." Li Xuan loosened his hand and pointed at the window at the corner of the corridor. "You do everything for me? I don't need it, so forget it."
"nineteen… "
Zhao Jizhe understood what he meant. His face turned pale as if a typhoon had passed through. His voice trembled, "You don't believe me?"
"Do you want to prove it?" Li Xuan snorted and laughed.
"You really want me to die..."
"You're wrong. It's best if your life or death has nothing to do with me anymore."
Zhao Jizhe bit his lip and looked at him, but Li Xuan was too stingy to spare him an eye. Zhao Jizhe seemed to have made up his mind, and he said "OK" twice in a row, then turned and went down the stairs.
The window at the entrance of the corridor was not sealed, and the window sill was just up to his waist. The glass in the wooden window frame was covered with thick dust that could not be wiped clean - the elevator replaced the stairs, and even the cleaning lady was unwilling to patronize it. This was the hidden rot in the entire shiny building.
I opened the window and the cold wind rushed in immediately. It was the 17th floor, and there were two basements below. On the bottom platform, I could see a lot of medical waste in a mess. It was too far away, and it was just a pile of gray and white.
Zhao Jizhe rested his hands on the unplastered windowsill, and the rough cement hurt his palms a little.
It was late at night and a little cold. The wind and rain were blowing on his face. He looked down again and saw countless white hands suddenly growing out of the distant ground, threatening to pull him off the platform and smash him to pieces.
He swallowed subconsciously. He only needed to exert a little force to jump out of here. However, an invisible rope tied him up. His arms were bent and he couldn't straighten them. It was fear. He heard the sound of his teeth chattering and cold sweat rolled down his forehead.
Why is it so quiet behind me? Where is Nineteen? Has he left
Zhao Jizhe was unwilling to admit that he regretted his decision, and hesitantly wanted to turn his head to see where Li Xuan was. However, as soon as he moved his neck, a force suddenly pushed him down.
At the same time, Li Xuan's voice was very relaxed. He even had a cigarette in his hand and could feel a faint burning pain: "Are you scared? Don't dare to jump? How about I help you?"
"No, nineteen..."
After the shock, the impact of approaching death suddenly became concrete, and the fear was magnified dozens of times.
The unsteady determination suddenly vanished, and the desire to survive made Zhao Jizhe desperately struggle and shake his head. But Li Xuan was unmoved. He grabbed Zhao Jizhe's neck and pressed down mercilessly. The pain made Zhao Jizhe feel as if his fingers had penetrated his flesh. His abdomen was against the window sill, his internal organs were squeezed, and because of the short-term suffocation caused by lack of oxygen, his heart almost jumped out of his throat.
Zhao Jizhe saw the corpses of unknown animals vaguely mixed in with the white waste on the platform, and also saw several long wooden spikes on the rough window frame that was pushed open.
"No..." He cried out, his left eyeball almost hitting the wooden thorn. Zhao Jizhe closed his eyes subconsciously, but the expected pain did not come. The next second when his feet were about to leave the ground, he was thrown to the ground with force, and the back of his head hit the wall with a heavy sound.
Maybe he hurt his waist, and for a moment Zhao Jizhe didn't have the strength to stand up, but under the shock of surviving the catastrophe, the pain became less obvious. He coughed desperately, and deep fingerprints remained on his neck.
The instigator stood there calmly. His hand was torn open again and bleeding from exerting too much force. He shook it off nonchalantly, lit a new cigarette with a click, took a few puffs, and slowly walked up to Zhao Jizhe.
The feeling of oppression made Zhao Jizhe instinctively take a step back, but through the very light smoke, he could still see Li Xuan's eyes, which were dark and indifferent.
At that moment, he recalled that night many years ago when Li Xuan was still a teenager. Standing in front of the blazing fire, the firelight illuminated his still immature face. He was also indifferent and said unusually calmly, "He deserves to die."
"People, don't brag." Li Xuan smiled leisurely, "You see, death is not that easy for you."
"nineteen... ... "
Zhao Jizhe was shaking subconsciously. He felt that the person in front of him was a stranger at this moment, but he suddenly realized that this was the Shen Shijiu he really knew.
It was Li Xuan's appearance after he was released from prison that confused him. Since when did he become humane
In the past, he always thought that Li Xuan was like some kind of cold weapon, such as a knife or a sword, who could stab others at any time because he was not afraid of stabbing himself at all.
Is this change good? Zhao Jizhe didn't know and didn't care. What he couldn't stand was that all the changes in Li Xuan had nothing to do with him.
He thought they were one, born out of the mud together, and he was still stuck in the past seven years. How could Li Xuan get rid of him and move forward
But he still has his old self, doesn't he? Zhao Jizhe watched Li Xuan approach, his soles stepped on him, raising tiny dust. While he was terrified, he also felt a secret and strange pleasure in his heart.
How can anyone completely get rid of the past? Not even Li Xuan. He can't erase the shadow of the past, and likewise, he can't be erased.
For a moment, Zhao Jizhe's shoulders shook violently, but it was hard to tell whether it was due to trembling or joy. His expression seemed to be both sad and happy: "Nineteen, did you really want to kill me just now?"
"I want to." Li Xuan thought seriously for a while, his expression unconsciously became a little gentle, "But what should I do? I have recently started to believe in Bodhisattva, and I can't keep doing such bloody things."
Zhao Jizhe didn't understand what he was saying. Li Xuan took a puff of cigarette, and all his emotions disappeared in an instant. He looked down at him, and his tone was no longer warm: "Zhao Jizhe, I really don't know what went wrong. Why are you so crazy now?"
"I'm not crazy or sick. I just want to be closer to you. What's the problem with that?" Zhao Jizhe's eyelids trembled. "Either you don't want to be sent to the orphanage, you don't want to know me, and you don't want to take me away, or you don't care about me after I go to jail. At every point, it was you who chose to take me with you. Why do you want to throw me away like garbage now?"
The last sentence was almost shouted out, and the slightly off-tune voice echoed in the narrow corridor. Li Xuan lowered his eyes and looked at him, indifferent and silent.
After a long silence, Zhao Jizhe felt an embarrassment that could not be hidden under his cold gaze. He could not help but panic again. The spirit of rebuttal just now was gone, and he whispered: "Nineteen."
"It sounds like it's my fault." Li Xuan slowly curled his lips, "So you hate me so much?"
"How could I hate you? Everything I did was for you."
"Don't brag, and don't say it a second time." Li Xuan shook off the cigarette ash and squatted down. "I'll give you two choices. First, get back to the Internet cafe right now, and I'll arrange a psychologist for you..."
"I don't… "
"Shut up and listen." Li Xuan raised a finger and made a gesture of silence. "Second, you want to be closer to me, right? Why do you want to stare at me every day? Sure. Starting tomorrow, you come to the company and I will ask them to arrange a position for you."
The turn of events was too abrupt. Zhao Jizhe suddenly raised his head and looked at him in disbelief, his excitement almost bursting out of his eyes: "Nineteen, are you serious?!"
"You chose the second one, right? Think it over." Li Xuan looked at him for a while, nodded thoughtfully, and suddenly smiled, and started talking in an irrelevant way. "Ten years ago... Almost ten years? I can't remember exactly. When I left the orphanage, I actually hesitated whether to take you with me. You would be a trouble. I thought about it at that time. But you were right about one thing. It was indeed me who made this decision in the end. I said that I don't regret anything I have done, but I don't mind making others regret it."
"I have no regrets, and I won't cause you any trouble... as long as you don't abandon me."
"I have verified it many times, but you just don't believe it. It doesn't matter." Li Xuan smiled without commenting, "You just want to hit your head against the wall? I'll put the wall up for you to hit. But Zhao Jizhe, the wall can't be broken. I will repair a hole if you hit it. I will repair ten holes if you hit it. But you..."
Li Xuan paused, bent down slightly, and the blood oozing from the wound on his palm dripped onto Zhao Jizhe.
The cigarette in his hand was almost burned out. He slowly took the last puff and crushed the cigarette butt directly on the back of Zhao Jizhe's hand.
Zhao Jizhe subconsciously wanted to hide, but Li Xuan quickly held down his arm until the air was filled with the faint smell of burnt flesh. He moved his hand away and shook it. The corners of his mouth curled up, but his eyes were cold: "Just keep it as a souvenir. When that day comes, I may not be in the mood."
The author has something to say:
My dear children, please go to bed early after watching this, while the humble investment dog will continue to work overtime...