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For a moment, Lu Shiqing felt as if he had caught something in her eyes. But she was in a hurry, so he didn't see clearly. He stood there in a daze for a while before turning around to take care of Zheng Zhuo.
Zheng Zhuo was depressed for two days. No matter what happened inside, at least later on, no one, whether his officials or political enemies, noticed that something was wrong with him.
Only Lu Shiqing knew that he was acting much more ruthlessly than before. He might have shown mercy at first, but now he was decisive and would not even blink an eye when he saw someone he deserved to be killed.
Lu Shiqing knew that he wanted to quickly get rid of the Jiang family, or even the saint, but many times, acting too hastily is like a death warrant, which can hasten the lives of others as well as his own.
As a result, he gradually developed differences with him on political affairs and decision-making.
Fortunately, there was Yuan Cixian. Although the Yuan family played along and pretended to have a falling out with Zheng Zhuo, she did not really stay away from the court. Probably after hearing about a few political affairs, she had the same idea as Lu Shiqing, and took the initiative to contact him after a few times, saying that she wanted to go to the prince's mansion to see Zheng Zhuo again.
Zheng Zhuo was not completely blinded by hatred. After he and Yuan Cixian advised him and warned him, he became more conservative in his decision-making because of his reckless behavior and the exposure of a hidden spy.
However, after acting conservatively for the sake of the overall situation, the Jiang family became even more unbridled. After a month, they found Zheng Zhuo in a panic and said that Jiang Bican was pregnant.
At this point, there was no way to delay the war. Zheng Zhuo resisted the urge to kill Jiang Bican and married her. Then he set up a courtyard in his mansion and stuffed her in. He never touched her at all and didn't even care whose child she was carrying.
The prince's mansion had a new mistress, so even if the prince's wife was neglected, Yuan Cixian could not go there openly. So when there was something to discuss, Lu Shiqing arranged for her and Zheng Zhuo to come to Xu's house.
For a while, the three men seemed to have returned to the beginning, meeting around a stone table to read secret reports, official documents, and draw maps.
But it's just an appearance.
The atmosphere in Xu's house is getting weirder day by day.
Unless it was necessary, Zheng Zhuo almost never took the initiative to talk to Yuan Cihan. When the weather got cold, and seeing that she was wearing too little, he asked Lu Shiqing to ask her to put on more clothes.
Lu Shiqing asked him why.
He said he had no face. No matter if there was any scheme or not, he married her.
Lu Shiqing listened to him and took on all the tasks of taking care of Yuan Cixian. He would prepare meals for her at lunch time and occasionally send her home when it was dark.
As for her preferences, he accidentally remembered them all because he had collected information for Zheng Zhuo before. However, his concern was due to Zheng Zhuo's request, just like arranging government affairs in an orderly manner, but he didn't seem to put his heart into it. Instead, it was just like the four words: neither salty nor bland.
Yuan Cixian didn't show much emotion about this. He was good to her, and she accepted it. After accepting it, she didn't seem happy or unhappy.
From Lu Shiqing's perspective at the time, her attitude towards him could probably be described in four words: indifferent.
After a period of peaceful days, one day after winter came, he received a secret report from the Uighurs warning of unusual movements by the Turks. After analyzing the situation, he suspected that King Ping was colluding with the Turks and that they were planning to unite and attack the imperial court in the near future.
Faced with the serious situation, he immediately contacted several court officials for emergency discussions.
A few nights later, Yuan Cihan and Yuan Yu came forward on behalf of Yuan Yizheng, under the pretext of drinking, to test the attitudes of several neutral generals in the capital to see which side they would side with if a war broke out.
Zheng Zhuo was not suitable to show up, so that night, Lu Shiqing disguised his identity and went with them.
It was a little late after the banquet, and when Lu Shiqing and his sister were leaving the restaurant, they encountered several spies. They reacted quickly and used a sleight of hand. They had two maids beside Yuan Cixian get on a carriage and leave first to divert the spies' attention, and then asked several generals to leave separately.
But after they had covered the most critical generals, a group of spies arrived.
Yuan Cihan meant that her brother's identity was more sensitive, so she covered for him first. She arranged for a dancer, Yuan Yu, to pretend to be seeking pleasure and leave the restaurant.
It was not until late at night, when everything was safe, that she and Lu Shiqing boarded the last carriage back home.
In the past, when Lu Shiqing said he sent her home, he just rode in another carriage behind hers. But that night, it was the first time that he was forced to ride with her because of the situation.
As far as he could remember, no one spoke at first. After a while, he heard his opponent Yuan Cixian suddenly ask, "If a war does break out, Your Highness will undoubtedly have to stay in the capital. Will Minister Lu go to the Uighurs to stabilize the situation?"
It was easy for her to think alike in terms of strategy, and her statement was exactly what he had been thinking recently, so he nodded and replied, "That should be it."
She lowered her eyes slightly and said nothing. After a while, she raised her head again and said with a smile, "If we can win this battle, there will be peace everywhere and no more disputes in the world. What do you want to do?"
He looked at her, thought for a moment and said truthfully: "Retire."
She looked at him and smiled.
This smile made him unable to help but ask: "Where is the county lady?"
She propped up her cheeks, tilted her head to look at him, and said the same three words: "Retire."
At that moment, his ears suddenly felt itchy as if they were brushed by a wild swan feather, and even his heart was trembling with fear.
He almost wanted to ask her, who are you going to retire with? But he stopped abruptly the moment he opened his mouth and restrained himself.
Perhaps she noticed that something was wrong with him, so she asked him what was wrong.
He couldn't find a suitable excuse for a moment, so he used the three most unbelievable words in the world: "Nothing."
Yuan Cixian didn't ask any more questions and just smiled.
There was no sound in the car for the rest of the journey. He stared straight ahead quietly until he saw her sleeping with her head tilted against the table. The car was unstable over a pothole and suddenly jolted, knocking her against the wall of the car.
He reacted very quickly, almost subconsciously, and stood up to block it, causing her to fall on him.
His breathing stopped for a moment.
But Yuan Cihan seemed not awake at all. She closed her eyes and continued to sleep in his arms.
The candlelight in the car was dim. He lowered his head stiffly, looking at her slender waist, her long and graceful neck, her soft profile, and her thick eyelashes.
His body became increasingly stiff, but a raging fire started up inside him, burning all his veins.
He couldn't help but reach out and help her carefully tuck a few strands of hair behind her ears.
His fingertips touched her slightly cold face, and he was like a possessed man, unable to move away, and gently stroked her earlobe with his fingertips.
Then he forced himself to withdraw his hand, turned his head away, closed his eyes and stopped looking at her.
The answer that he had been unwilling to face, worried about and avoided for a long time, finally hit his heart hard at this moment.
He fell in love with Yuan Cixian.
And it was most likely not after she and Zheng Zhuo broke off their engagement.
But he had this absurd idea when she was still his fiancée.
All his inexplicable irritability, all his retreat and forbearance, all his indifferent pretense, were because he felt so guilty that he felt that even the slightest approach, the slightest initiative, the slightest crossing of the line would be a betrayal to Zheng Zhuo.
The carriage stopped and we arrived at the side gate of Yuan Mansion.
He gently helped her to stand up, then clenched his fists and gritted his teeth, ready to leave. Just as he was about to stand up, a pair of arms wrapped around her waist from behind.
He turned around in surprise and saw Yuan Cixian with her eyes closed, her cheek against his back, not saying anything.
He didn't know when she woke up, or whether she was fully awake, so he restrained himself and asked tentatively, "County Lady?"
The word "County Princess" made her slowly open her eyes.
He saw that she seemed a little confused when she opened her eyes. When she looked up and saw him, she suddenly retracted her hand and said, "I'm sorry, Minister Lu, I was not awake yet and recognized the wrong person."
I've made a mistake. Then there should be someone who is right.
It must be Zheng Zhuo, he thought at the time.
That’s right, in the past, on nights like this, Zheng Zhuo would have ridden with her.
He controlled his expression and tried his best to say calmly: "It's okay."
Lu Shiqing never thought at that time that these two words "I'm sorry" and "It's okay" would become the last conversation between him and her in their lives.
The political situation was changing rapidly, war broke out, King Ping led his troops northward, the Turks invaded the Uighurs, and Nanzhao intervened.
He traveled far to Uighur, and before leaving, he didn't even tell Zheng Zhuo to "protect her well".
He felt that he was not qualified, that it was redundant, and that it was unnecessary. Zheng Zhuo would have done the same thing even without his words. However, he did not expect that his self-proclaimed righteous departure would lead to a mistake that could never be made up for.
The situation in the capital changed dramatically. The old emperor got rid of his family and the court officials accused the Yuan family of rebellion. Zheng Zhuo was forced to cut off the source of the problem and acted as an enemy of the Yuan family. Then he "killed" Yuan Yizhi and Yuan Yu in front of everyone and secretly sent them out of the capital to recuperate.
However, the old emperor had doubts and was watching Zheng Zhuo's movements too closely. He failed to send them away. Yuan Yizhi and Yuan Yu were shot dead on the spot by the pursuing soldiers. Afterwards, Yuan Cixian and her sister-in-law and mother were imprisoned.
Zheng Zhuo risked his life to rescue them, but he didn't expect that Jiang Birou was a cancer hidden in the Yuan family for many years.
This woman had a deep grudge against Yuan Cixian, and all the male members of the Yuan family had died. It was not surprising that she was unwilling to go on the road of exile, so she chose to seek help from the emperor.
By the time Lu Shiqing got the news, he rushed back thousands of miles, but it was too late.
Like a hero, he saved the Uighurs and the world, but he failed to save her.
It's so ironic that it's like a joke.
In the bitter north wind and rain, Lu Shiqing leaned against the bridge railing and rested for a while. Finally, he stood up with his elbows, and walked slowly towards Chang'an City holding the note in his hand.
*
Two years later, Lu Shiqing, then Minister of the Central Secretariat, launched a palace coup, forcing Emperor Huining to abdicate and become the Supreme Emperor, and supported the thirteenth prince Zheng Hong to ascend the throne.
Seven days after the coronation ceremony, that night, Lu Shiqing sat in the secret passage of Xu's house, wiping a tombstone with a silk handkerchief.
Cao An was accompanying him.
The hand holding the handkerchief was so thin that it looked almost 70 or 80 years old. It seemed that if you squeezed it a little harder, the fingers would break.
Cao An knew that he was suffering. In the past two years, the Princess of Lancang County passed away first, and not long after, the Sixth Prince also died at the hands of the old emperor. He had nothing left, and it was only his determination to seek revenge and his belief in serving the country and the people that supported him to this day.
Cao An said, "Go take a rest and stop wiping." But he didn't listen.
Lu Shiqing wiped it stubbornly, not knowing where the dust was.
When it was almost dawn, he got up, picked up a letter that had been placed in front of the stele, and said, "Go and present it to His Majesty, and ask him to redress the injustice of the Yuan family."
His voice sounded disembodied and weak, Cao panicked and asked him, "How about you, my dear? His Majesty has just promoted you to the position of Minister of the Central Secretariat, aren't you going to court today?"
Lu Shiqing didn't answer, but staggered towards the entrance of the secret passage. Before he reached the stairs, he fell to the ground with a thud and vomited a mouthful of scarlet blood.
"My dear!" Cao An hurriedly ran up to support him.
Lu Shiqing used his strength to sit up, wiped the blood from the corner of his lips, smiled faintly, and answered him: "Cao An, I won't go to court, I want to rest."
How could Cao An not understand this situation? Tears welled up in his eyes, but he couldn't say a word.
My husband has suffered so much, so much. It is time for him to be free.
Cao An saw him stretch out his hand with difficulty and take out a note from his sleeve with difficulty.
He choked up and asked, "My dear, what is this? Do you want me to give it to someone for you?"
Lu Shiqing shook his head and said with a smile: "This is mine, don't give it to others."
Cao An said okay and would not give it to anyone else, then lowered his head to glance at the note in his hand.
The paper had turned a little yellow, with two short lines of beautiful handwriting on it: I will find you in the next life, so you must make up your mind early.
Lu Shiqing followed his gaze and looked down at the words, then slowly closed his eyes, curved his lips, and said, "Okay."
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