As a lovelorn, I have a problem that all lovelorn people like to make: I like to stay alone in crowded places. Sorrow amidst the voices of the crowd. No wonder that in African tribes, a person who is about to die will be surrounded by people and dance in a ring of fire. Surely it would be better to die amidst the tumult of voices than to face fear and grief alone. So, on Valentine's Day night, I went out to watch a movie alone.
These years, even without Li Chuan's company, I still like watching movies. For this reason, I specially ordered a briefing for the movie theater, and I went to see the movie when I had it, it didn't matter if it was new or old. There are rows and rows of seats for couples in the movie theater, and I sat alone in the back row, holding a big bucket of popcorn. It's a comedy by Jackie Chan, it's very funny, and happy laughter burst out in the movie theater from time to time. I hid alone among groups of lovers, weeping quietly amidst laughter.
I don't know what acute pneumonia is, and I don't know how serious it will be, but Li Chuan in front of me has always been extremely strong. He never wanted me to see his weak side. If he can, he will do his best to cover it up, if not, he will run away without a trace. But today, his voice was so weak, but his tone was pretending to be relaxed. I suspect his real condition is ten times worse than what I have heard.
When I got home, I was overjoyed to see that René was on msn. Knock him out quickly:
"René! Thank you for giving me the phone number. I have already called Li Chuan."
René typed in English: "How is it? Did you have a good chat?"
I said, "Very good. René, is Li Chuan's acute pneumonia serious? He doesn't even have the energy to speak."
René: "Yeah. It's good that he can answer the phone. He couldn't talk for a while."
Is that so? How is this so? I hurriedly asked: "Is it just caused by a cold? Why can't you talk? Is your throat swollen?"
There was a pause on the other end, as if considering words.
Then René seemed to be telling the truth: "... In severe cases, Alex needs to rely on a ventilator. His immunity is very poor, so he must be very careful about his body. He can't catch a cold, he can't catch a cold, he can't have a fever, and he can't be infected."
I put out a big question mark: "What is a ventilator?"
"...it's just that he's having trouble breathing and needs a machine to help."
In my mind, "The Story of the Emergency Room" quickly flashed. In the emergency room, seeing the patient suffocate, the doctor beside him cut open the trachea with a knife and inserted a transparent tube.
Thinking of this, I immediately broke out in a cold sweat, and quickly confessed: "Next time I will be very careful! Don't let Li Chuan get caught in the rain!"
There was a pause over there, and then, an angry red face jumped out: "What? You let Alex get in the rain? At a time like this? Winter?"
"Sorry, I didn't know he couldn't get in the rain..."
Really, I was drenched that day, and I lay down on the bed when I got home. I was so depressed that I didn't even bother to drink a cup of banlangen, and I didn't have a cold or a fever. good. How can I be so healthy and have such a strong resistance? I am really ashamed!
René was still relentless over there: "Annie, why did you let Alex get wet?"
"We... fought in the rain..."
The screen vibrated, and René was angry again: "What? What? How old are you all, and you still fight? -By the way, did you cause the injury on Li Chuan's neck? Before I sent Mia here, I just cut her nails."
I plead guilty cautiously: "Well... that... It's been more than a month, isn't it alright?"
The picture frame stopped blinking, and there was no line of words for a long time.
Then, René seems to sigh: "I always thought that Chinese women are gentler than French women..."
I typed quickly: "I really didn't do it on purpose. Li Chuan always wants to over with me, and I'm so angry! This is an isolated case, so you must not prejudice all girls of the Chinese nation because of this."
The orange message box flashed, and René said: "No way. Alex always said that you are the most gentle and passionate woman. And the email you wrote to Alex is also very gentle, so touching!"
What? Li Chuan... unexpectedly...
Dazed, I fainted, I don't need to look in the mirror to know that my face is covered with black lines: "Li Chuan show you the letter I wrote? I'll settle the score with him!"
In my impression, Li Chuan is not that bad! It won't be like in a movie, where a boy receives a love letter from a girl and reads it out in a weird way in the dormitory, and everyone laughs after hearing it.
A long paragraph of English flashed on the screen, and René said, "No, no, don't think badly....Alex was very ill during that time. I read all your emails to him."
Now it's my turn to go crazy: "Are you seriously ill? Why are you so sick? Can't you even move?"
"Nope. I just have no strength, and I have to lie down all day." René said evasively, "But, Anne, why don't you write in English? Those emails really test my Chinese! Knowing that we foreigners read your emails How difficult is it? You write so long at every turn, it’s all stream of consciousness, there’s not even a punctuation mark, and I don’t know where to break sentences. Then, I had to bite the bullet and read it, and I was drained while I read it. Chuan scolded, saying that your Chinese is definitely correct, why can't he understand... "
Pfft—I couldn't laugh or cry: "I didn't let you read it! I didn't write it for you!"
René made a painful expression: "Annie, my doctoral dissertation is about "The Luban Classic". I can read classical Chinese and traditional characters, but I can't read vernacular."
—I was drinking tea when I said this, and with a "poof", I sprayed a screen of water.
"No way? Generally, everyone thinks that writing in vernacular Chinese is easier than writing in classical Chinese."
René: "That's you Chinese. Believe it or not, classical Chinese is more like English in terms of syntactic structure. Anyway, what you write is vernacular, simplified characters. I can only read classical Chinese, traditional characters. So, I always have to look it up in the dictionary .Every time your email comes, I have to use a software to convert simplified Chinese into traditional Chinese, and then look up the characters I don’t know, figure out the pinyin, and then read it to Alex. Alex always complains that I made mistakes! At that time, neither of us understood the words you wrote, and they were not in the dictionary. Alex ordered me to go to the library to look up a bigger dictionary. Poor thing, I have to go out when there is hail outside! Sometimes, there is a problem with the conversion between Simplified and Traditional , became a bunch of garbled characters. I was scolded again, and Li Chuan ordered me to find someone to restore it, and I had to spend money to hire someone. In short... I was also very hard during that time, and I also contributed to your love, you have to thank me! "
I suspect that I have read too much danmei, but no matter how I look at it, I feel that René is like a top-notch shou, and I can't help but take the opportunity to bully him: "Thank you for your size? I didn't ask you to look up the dictionary!"
René didn't mind either: "However, you two are really a couple, so heart-to-heart! Whenever Alex is seriously ill, your emails are very long and very sunny. Alex survived by reading your emails in those years. Yes. Hehe, you two are still a perfect match, one insists on not replying to the letter;
I suddenly understood: "That card was sent by you!"
René made a shameful expression: "I sent it on impulse. I sent it to Alex, and Alex said, it's over, you will definitely not write again. I still argue with him, but I firmly don't believe it. Anne, tell me Look, you have been writing for three years, and we are used to waiting for your letters, at least twice a week. When your father was about to pass away, every letter was long and dark! As a result, one day, you never Stop writing. Alex lost more than 20 pounds that month, and almost died. Of course, I can’t blame you, and you don’t know it. But, since you decided not to write, why did you get nervous again a few months ago? Xi Xi sent an email to Alex? It was really windy and wrinkled a pool of spring water. At that time, Alex was injured in skiing and was still lying in the hospital. Regardless of the doctor’s advice, he wanted to come to China anyway. He was only here for a few days, and he was sick again Almost dead!"
René had been typing in English. Among the densely packed English letters, a line of Chinese suddenly popped up. It was Song Ci, which really shocked me.
I typed quickly: "Oh! This shows that I am still a long way from being an angel! René, what disease does Li Chuan have?!!! For God's sake, please tell me!"
René: "No, no, this is the bottom line. Alex will strangle me if he finds out."
I didn't dare to press René too much, and when I was in a hurry, I lost the connection. René finally opened the chatter, and I hurried to talk far away: "Then René, have you been by your side to take care of Li Chuan when he is sick? You Have you known Li Chuan for a long time?"
René said: "Well, Alex and I are college classmates, we still share the dormitory, we are buddies. I first met Alex before I met Leo. When Alex was sick, I was teaching at the university, so I was relatively free. Besides, Leo was not busy at all. But it can only be me. It’s not about taking care of him, he has nurses around him. I just go to chat with him and read emails.”
I asked: "Then, has Li Chuan been ill for a long time?"
René immediately became vigilant: "Mmmm. Don't try to talk to me anymore."
Li Chuan is so lucky to have such a good friend as René, so I quickly thanked him: "René, thank you for reading emails for Li Chuan. I know it's not easy, but seeing how hard I've been learning English, I know it's not easy for you."
René smiled shyly: "No thanks. Back then, if it wasn't for Leo, I wouldn't have learned Chinese. Now it's good, my design style is all oriental. Leo himself can speak Chinese, but he abandoned the culture of his ancestors. , It’s unreasonable to engage in post-modernism! By the way, don’t tell Leo about Alex getting caught in the rain. Leo is a tyrant, very bossy. Now that Alex is sick, Leo has the final say on the affairs of the Wang family. He's more bossy."
how could be? In fact, I have a good impression of Ji Chuan, and even think he is gentler than Li Chuan. Moreover, when they were together, Ji Chuan took great care of Li Chuan, even though they sometimes quarreled, it was all good intentions.
I hurriedly asked: "René, then tell me, what should I pay attention to when we are together with Li Chuan in the future? I'm afraid that Li Chuan will get sick again!"
René was very happy this time, and the letters on the screen flashed cheerfully: "What a good girl! Uh... don't let him catch a cold, don't let him get hurt and bleed, don't let him fall, don't let him come into contact with patients, don't let him go to crowded places. Wash your hands carefully before eating, and don’t use a razor to shave.…”
A long paragraph of instructions, it seems that René and Li Chuan really stayed together for a long time, and they actually knew such details.
I copy+paste his words to a text file: "Write it down. What about the food, is there anything to pay attention to?"
René said over there: "I think about it... In order to get enough vitamins, he should eat at least two kinds of fruits and three kinds of vegetables a day, eat less salt, eat less oil, eat less and eat more meals, and eat a small amount of lean meat and fish. .Also, eat more fresh pineapples.—Actually, you don’t have to worry about these. Alex has his own chef, who cooks three meals a day for him according to the dietitian’s formula. The most important point: never touch alcohol, a drop Neither."
Suddenly I mocked: "Oh, what a son, so many people are waiting for you."
"No way, since Alex fell ill, the whole family has been careful. In fact, Alex is quite independent, and he can't do it when he comes home. With the instructions of his grandparents, a group of people circled around for fear of mistakes. Alex naturally If he has time, he will go to China... He is free in Beijing."
Not just freedom, but the other way around. When we were in Beijing, Li Chuan always took care of me. When we lived together, he was the one who got up and made breakfast. I started doing housework when I was very young, because my dad’s living ability is very poor, the dishes can be left unwashed for several days, the quilt is never folded, and the house is always messy like a doghouse. My grandma said that my dad had a nanny at home in Shanghai, and he knew nothing but reading and teaching, and even asked my mom to knock on the door to borrow a hammer. Because of this, I depressingly thought that if I got married in the future, I would not be able to escape the life of being a rice cook. Unexpectedly, I could still live a life of being taken care of by others, and I was so happy that I couldn't find the north. After telling Li Chuan about this, Li Chuan felt distressed for a long time, saying that I had suffered so much since I was a child, that God was very sad, and specially sent him to take care of me. He will take good care of me for the rest of my life. I didn't take this to heart at the time. Since my mother passed away, I have quietly believed in the truth that even the people closest to you will eventually leave you, never to return.
Sure enough, just two months after Li Chuan said this, he also disappeared from my presence.
In the first half of that year, my emotions were like riding a roller coaster, up and down, tortured by joy and sorrow and anger in turn.
In this world, only Li Chuan has the ability to make me the happiest, and only Li Chuan has the ability to make me the most miserable. No one else can do both at the same time.
Thinking of this, I suddenly asked René: "René, tell me, should Li Chuan and I be together?"
René immediately replied: "Of course it should! But Annie, I have to tell you that Alex has been very stubborn since he was a child, and he will not look back when he has made up his mind. Even a stubborn old man like his father would avoid him three points. Well, I have to go and see the soup I made, come here later."
I sat on the chair, staring at the empty screen, thinking about what René said earlier, my heart was obviously empty, but I felt that it weighed several thousand kilograms, falling there, with nowhere to fall. I just feel as if I am sitting at the entrance of a certain time, behind is a deep and bottomless black hole. And my task is to block the entrance of this hole, to prevent Li Chuan from slipping through the middle and completely disappearing from my sight.
can i hold back
During those five years, Li Chuan must have been seriously ill, and must have been bedridden for a long time. He couldn't use the computer by himself, and needed someone to read to him. What kind of disease it will be, I have no courage to guess. Maybe, he has walked several times in the gate of hell... So, he refused to tell me, because he refused to drag me down.
Sensei, I feel cold all over. Had to run to the kitchen and pour a cup of hot water to warm it up.
When I came back, the orange message box flashed again, and René came back: "Where did you just say?"
"Speaking of Li Chuan being stubborn, Ji Chuan is very bossy."
"It's not bossy either. Ji Chuan just has more ideas, and they are often better than others, so he always wants others to listen to him." Probably realizing that he had said too many bad things about Ji Chuan, René hurried to make amends.
"Yeah, Ji Chuan is pretty good, I like him a lot."
"Then you, Annie, why don't you come to Switzerland?" René asked, "Come to Switzerland after Li Chuan is discharged from the hospital, okay? I'll transfer you to the headquarters in Switzerland and give you the same salary as Li Chuan."
I can't help laughing. When I was with Li Chuan a few years ago, Li Chuan asked me many times if I would like to go to Switzerland with him for vacation, long or short vacations are fine. I didn't say yes once. I was a little embarrassed to meet Li Chuan's family. In fact, Li Chuan has his own separate residence. But listening to him chatting on weekdays, it seems like visiting relatives, going to grandparents’ house, grandparents’ house, uncle’s house, uncle’s house, uncle’s house, aunt’s house and a lot of cousins, cousins and cousins going out for clubbing, Traveling, skiing is a huge part of his life... I'm kind of intimidated.
"I... foreigners... I'm not used to it. Besides, I don't speak French or German."
"Everyone in their family can speak English, and the older generation can also speak Chinese."
"Well... I'm also a little afraid of seeing the older generation." From time to time, the sentences in "The Peacock Flies to the Southeast" flashed through my mind.
"Don't be afraid, don't be afraid, there are few girls in the Wang family, and the older generation are very kind, especially to girls, especially to girls that Li Chuan likes. It's too late for them to love you."
René said this, as if I was the daughter-in-law of Li Chuan's family, and I couldn't help feeling depressed again: "Don't talk about René, Li Chuan and I are over. He is not in good health now, and I don't want to make him feel bad. If I over, I will over."
Over there hastily played an animated villain kowtowing like garlic: "Annie, please don't over with Li Chuan, our whole family begs you!"
I suddenly felt that the other party's tone was a bit wrong: "Hey, are you René?"
After a pause for a few seconds, a line of words popped up in the dialog box:
"I'm Ji Chuan, and René is washing dishes. He doesn't use the dishwasher. It's really a Helpless DIY. How can you not be overbearing to this kind of person?"
Brother Ji Chuan! ! ! My mouth was wide open, and I was shocked: "You... When did you come up?"
"I was just kidding you. René asked me to come over and see if there is any new news. I just came up, Xiaoqiu, you add me to MSN."
The profile picture was changed to an owl, and there was a line in his personal signature:
"I'm not bossy. I just have better ideas. (Translation: I am not bossy, I just have better ideas than others.)"
I typed quickly and got straight to the point: "Brother Ji Chuan, can I go to Switzerland now to see Li Chuan?"
There, it stopped for a long time. Then, a line of words was displayed: "We all look forward to your coming. But Li Chuan will never agree. He doesn't want to see you at this time."
Seeing that I hadn't spoken for a long time, Ji Chuan typed another line: "If Li Chuan was willing to see you, he wouldn't have left you six years ago."