Loneliness

Chapter 13

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Chen Donglan was born in winter, but his parents divorced the following spring.

He followed his mother. The mother remarried when he first learned to call her mother, and went on to have children with her new husband.

His mother and stepfather loved him, and they knew each other about the love that really existed. But there are always some things in this world that can't be changed - the mother just loves her brother a little more, she will scold her brother, she will be annoyed and even cry because her brother always makes her angry. But facing Chen Donglan, she seems to have only the topic of living expenses to talk about.

Whether Chen Donglan is crying or not caring, this will not change.

Chen Donglan grew up to be a dull child.

To use dullness to describe a boy like him is quite tolerant. Anyone who sees a male classmate like Chen Donglan walking with his head down, talking to him for a long time, ignoring others, not even chatting, and making the scene instantly embarrassing, will scold him in his heart and then dislike it.

Not only that, but he was tall and always hunched over. When asked by the teacher to answer a question in class, the whole person will be short, even if it is a fool's question that can definitely be answered, he will stutter and fail to answer, and his face is flushed, like the young female teacher who only reached his shoulders. will eat him.

In the second year of junior high, classmate Yuan Yuan moved to his side and sat at the same table with him.

Yuan Yuan was the most male classmate in the class at that time. Because boys like to be friends with people who are so hearty and bold, and who can always carry them on the court and in games.

What's more, people's grades are good, and they can borrow homework to copy from time to time; they are tall, mighty, sunny and handsome, so they can get close to girls.

Yuan Yuan didn't adjust his seat for Chen Donglan's sake, but for his good brother who was separated by a corridor.

Chen Donglan remained silent, and Yuan Yuan ignored him. Because there were no exceptions, Yuan Yuan also felt that Chen Donglan was very boring, so he did not understand his interest.

In this way, Yuan Yuan and his good brother were arguing around Chen Donglan for a semester.

Until then, Chen Donglan moved.

"I have discussed with your uncle for a long time, and I still plan to send Xiaode to a private foreign language junior high school. In this way, it will be convenient to send him abroad in a few years. Donglan, this may be a little far from your school, but you have to work hard. It's all for my brother. It doesn't matter if you want to rent a house near the school, I'll ask someone to take care of you."

My mother said this to Chen Donglan.

She and her uncle have been worrying about the problem of her younger brother going to school for a long time, and now there are a lot of worries, and of course Chen Donglan doesn't dare to cause trouble. So he got up early for school almost two hours earlier, and had to do his homework on the subway for a while at night, and he could only get home when it was dark.

On the first day he took the subway, he ran into Yuan Yuan.

The station where Yuan Yuan got on the bus was the peak station. The crowd was surging, and everyone was squeezed into patties. It was a little late, Yuan Yuan was so anxious that his sweat fell, looked up at Chen Donglan, and shouted like a savior: "Hey, give me a hand!"

Chen Donglan hesitated for a few seconds, maybe more than a few seconds, after a few rapid bells, Yuan Yuan was stopped outside the car.

He raised his head in surprise, and Yuan Yuan stared at him outside the car door. The car whizzed away.

As a result, Yuan Yuan was late.

"I read that right, you are my classmate!" After the first class, Yuan Yuan rejected the invitation to play basketball and sat down to condemn Chen Donglan, "Why don't you help me? Actually If you had said earlier that you wouldn't pull me, I'd do my best, I just waited because I was afraid that you would pull me."

"I'm sorry..." Chen Donglan didn't dare to look at his big, bright eyes, "I think there are a lot of people in the car, and I'm afraid to stretch out my hand... to push others."

"Huh?" Yuan Yuan lowered his head, trying to see Chen Donglan's eyes, "You speak louder and raise your head a little bit, I can't hear you clearly."

Chen Donglan repeated it.

"That's because I didn't think about it..." Yuan Yuan scratched his head and smiled, "But why is your tone so weak, I thought you were crying. That's not easy. I haven't made my classmates cry since I graduated from elementary school. already."

Chen Donglan stiffly straightened his neck: "Next time, I will pull you."

Yuan Yuan snapped his fingers and widened his smile: "Then I'll thank you first." Then he ran out to play basketball. Although there was not much time left, he probably thought it would be good to touch the basketball twice.

Agreeing to pull him, Chen Donglan rehearsed the scene of pulling him into the car the next day at night. But for the next whole semester, Chen Donglan never met Yuan Yuan on the subway again.

Maybe it's on an adjacent shift, maybe it's in a different carriage, maybe it's just a few people apart, but if you don't meet it, you don't meet it.

Yuan Yuan was the speaker at the opening ceremony of the first school sports meeting in the third year of junior high school. Among the thousands of students who could not see the difference on the playground, Chen Donglan was the most inconspicuous one. He lowered his head to observe the grass under his shoes, counting them one by one.

"Hello everyone, I'm Yuan Yuan from the third and third classes of junior high school. Today, I am very honored to be able to speak on behalf of everyone here." Yuan Yuan held the microphone in one hand and the manuscript in the other, and stood up straight. There was a relaxed smile on his face, and his voice was generous.

Chen Donglan just glanced at it and forgot how many he had counted.

"In this spring when the grass grows Yingfei, we ushered in the spring school sports meeting on campus. In line with the ultimate goal of physical fitness, the school..."

Yuan Yuan speaks a little faster, but his articulation is clear and the sentence breaks are just right, so even such a boring official speech is particularly attractive.

This is the reason Chen Donglan found for his fascinated self.

Chen Donglan has a project in the school sports meeting, that is, the high jump. Although his physical fitness is not very good, his grades have never been ideal, but people with long legs are inevitably written on the registration form of this column by the sports committee.

Field races and competition venues are different, but sometimes run simultaneously.

When Chen Donglan was in line, gunshots rang out, and the 400-meter race began.

Yuan Yuan was wearing dark blue sportswear and rushed to the front. His hair was trimmed very short, but because he was running too fast, he always felt that the short hair was pulled up by the wind.

That day, Yuan Yuan broke the school record by throwing away the second place in the 400m preliminary race.

That day, although the results were still dismal, Chen Donglan jumped out of the best results ever.

When he finished his last jump, Chen Donglan, who knew that he would not be able to get the ranking, took down the number book and turned to leave, only to find that Yuan Yuan was smiling at him in the crowd watching the game.

The sight of the two of them collided, so Yuan Yuan raised his hand to say hello.

Chen Donglan didn't feel nervous, didn't know how to respond, and after a while, he nodded his head like a rusty robot. Immediately thinking that Yuan Yuan's good brother also participated in the high jump competition, he planned to leave in a different direction.

Before taking two steps, Yuan Yuan trotted closer: "Where are you going? I'm saying hello to you."

Chen Donglang stopped in place again with a stun, and said crampedly, "I... I thought you were here to watch other students compete, so you wanted to leave first."

Yuan Yuan's eyes were a little confused: "Can't I watch you by the way when I come to see other students' competitions? No, I'll let you in. Since we meet, we can't watch together?"

Chen Donglan lowered his head and felt that what he said made sense. He couldn't help but warm his ears and felt embarrassed: "No, I'm afraid of disturbing you and your friends."

"What are you talking about, we are all classmates."

As Yuan Yuan said in his speech, that day the grass grew and the warbler flew, which was a good day. Yuan Yuan had just stepped off the runway, with a thin jacket on his hood and one hand in his pocket, as if the rush of running had not faded. "It's all friends," he said.

On that day, they changed from unfamiliar classmates to friends. Although they were still unfamiliar, Chen Donglan remembered this scene for a long time.

In the third year of junior high school, the coursework became heavier. Chen Donglan has been dull for a long time, and he feels that his head is not very smart, so he spends more time on learning. Even the subway to and from school will read books.

As a result, he fell asleep accidentally.

The person who woke him up was Yuan Yuan, who he thought would never take a ride with him again.

"It's almost time." Someone tapped him on the shoulder.

Chen Donglan frowned and opened his eyes, colliding with Yuan Yuan's shining eyes.

He didn't know why, although he was not good at looking at others, but he always felt that Yuan Yuan's eyes were extraordinarily bright. He staggered his line of sight to see the station, two stops away from the school.

Seeing Chen Donglan's gaze, Yuan Yuan smiled: "I'm afraid you will stay in bed."

Although his face remained calm, Chen Donglan felt an itch in his heart. He never sleeps in bed. Since the first grade of elementary school, he has been woken up by the alarm clock on time every day, so as not to cause trouble to his mother and uncle.

"No... Thank you." Chen Donglan touched the book on his lap and felt empty.

"I picked it up for you." Yuan Yuan raised his hand and gestured to him, handing back the book in Chinese, "Recite poems early in the morning? No wonder you're sleepy."

"I..." Chen Donglan didn't know what to say, and after thinking for a while, he said, "It's not the poem's problem." Although part of the responsibility is the poem, the fundamental reason is that he wakes up too early.

"In short, it's a matter of learning." Yuan Yuan yawned as he spoke.

Chen Donglan didn't know what to say.

Fortunately, Yuan Yuan is very good at chatting: "Won't it be strange to meet me suddenly? I haven't taken this line for a while."

Chen Donglan felt that he should ask: "…Why?"

Yuan Yuan yawned again: "Before my parents were on a business trip, I stayed at my aunt's house temporarily. My God, that's far enough, every day my aunt would fight me and my uncle, like a war. After we had dinner, I urged my uncle to drive me to school, but within a month, my uncle was emaciated and thinner than my aunt."

Chen Donglan wanted to laugh a little, but abruptly held back.

Yuan Yuan was puzzled; "Is this funny or not?"

Chen Donglan shook his head: "It's funny... No, it's your description that's funny."

Yuan Yuan was helpless: "If you want to laugh, laugh."

Chen Donglan said hesitantly: "...I'm afraid you think I'm laughing at your family."

"Pfft—" Yuan Yuan was amused, "Don't be so serious! Why are you always afraid? There's nothing to be afraid of, Chen Donglan."

Chen Donglan was stunned for a moment.

He probably got hit.

In his heart, the tingling that had been there from the beginning intensified, so much so that he could not help clenching his fists and hiding behind him.

The third year passed quickly. This whole year, Yuan Yuan has reduced the frequency of playing basketball between classes, making Chen Donglan feel that they are getting closer.

Although it is only a one-sided "feeling".

The two often met on the subway to go to school, but most of them just chatted for a while and disappeared. Chen Donglan had the heart to talk to him, but hesitating about "what to say" and "what would he be interested in", and he missed the opportunity.

And even if Chen Donglan had the perfect topic to discuss with him, Yuan Yuan wouldn't dare to ask him if he didn't speak first.

This kind of thing, the first time I dare not, and the more I dare not later.

Every "good topic" was pondered over and over again by Chen Donglan, and finally was thrown away like a crumpled ball of paper.

It stands to reason that the two of them should take the same subway to go home after school, but Yuan Yuan has to play basketball with his good friends for an hour every night, and the weather is good or even longer.

As for Chen Donglan, who arrived home two hours later than his younger brother, he couldn't let his family wait for him to have dinner together, so he would go home after eating in the cafeteria. It would have been very late to come home, and he could not delay any longer, worrying his mother and uncle.

He had imagined the scene where he walked out of the classroom with Yuan Yuan, walked out of the campus, walked into the subway station, and waved goodbye on the subway.

But never just think.

After junior high school, they went to the same high school, but in different classes.

When introducing himself, Chen Donglan spoke up in public for the first time, but he straightened his back, did not blush, did not have a pounding heart, and did not stutter.

He only had what Yuan Yuan told him in his heart - "You should be louder and raise your head a little more."

Also, "There's nothing to be afraid of, Chen Donglan."