Loneliness

Chapter 18

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Chen Donglan sat on the steps, crying dazedly.

cried for a whole hour.

After stopping the sound, he held his drowsy head and tried to stand up, but his whole body was limp and unable to exert any strength.

He paused for a while, then for a while, and finally stood up straight.

As he walked down the mountain step by step, he felt a soreness in his eyes, and the nerves involved in his brain were also aching.

Thinking back to his past, this is the first time he has cried so... presumptuously.

He didn't cry a few times. Because even if he cried, no one would come to comfort him, and it might lead to disgust from others, so secretly holding back became his only way to deal with his sadness.

Over time, the expression of feelings gradually stiffened.

Today, I have tasted the sweetness of crying. Although his head was blown up by crying, his heart, which was always so heavy that it slowed down his steps, was actually indescribably relaxed.

Walking around a corner, a familiar figure ran into his line of sight.

"Chen Donglan!"

Across the distance, Yuan Yuan called him loudly.

Chen Donglang stopped in place.

… still not so easy to become easy.

Yuan Yuan ran up to him in a few steps, panting and saying, "If I don't find you after a few more steps, I'll call the police."

Seeing him close in front of him, Chen Donglan felt dizzy for a while, pretending to straighten the hair on his forehead, half covering his eyes.

"Why didn't you answer the phone?"

"I didn't bring..." He put the phone in the hotel.

Yuan Yuan showed an expression of "it's true" and reprimanded him: "After I separated from you, I turned to look for you within a few minutes of walking, but I couldn't find it. For an hour, I didn't stop for a second. Come down and almost flip over to the other side of the mountain!"

Chen Donglan's eyes widened. He looked around and found that this was indeed not the road he and Yuan Yuan took together. It should be that he turned back to look for Yuan Yuan like a madman and went astray, not knowing where the hell he was.

The blood rushed to his head at once, making Chen Donglan extremely ashamed.

Yuan Yuan got angry, and said like a cannonball: "Don't keep your head down. If you don't know, you think I'm bullying you. You can tell me where you went, whether it's intentional..."

Speaking of which, he noticed Chen Donglan's expression and was instantly stuck.

Chen Donglan's face was very red, so red that people worried that the blood vessels in his face would not be able to bear it. Her eyes were red and swollen, as if they were about to burst into tears in the next moment.

"you… "

"I didn't cry!" Chen Donglan explained in a nasal voice after crying, "It's sand, there's too much sand."

… There is no silver 300 taels here at the textbook level.

Yuan Yuan coughed lightly: "Since there is so much sand, let's go back to the hotel."

Chen Donglan didn't respond.

Yuan Yuan asked, "You don't want to go with me?"

"No..." Chen Donglan's gaze rested on Yuan Yuan's face for a second, then moved away immediately, staring desperately at the tree behind him.

"Let's go." Yuan Yuan sighed in his heart, and turned to give him the way down the mountain, "You go ahead, I'll watch you."

Chen Donglan nodded and walked forward with hands and feet.

Yuan Yuan pulled him back helplessly: "Walk well."

He was holding Chen Donglan's wrist, half through his sleeve, and half directly touching the back of Chen Donglan's hand.

Chen Donglan seemed to be scalded, and subconsciously earned it, Yuan Yuan didn't let him get away.

"Stop thinking about it. I'll give you an answer when you get back to the hotel about your liking for me—or your boyfriend and girlfriend, eh?"

Um

When Yuan Yuan expressed his feelings in such straightforward language, Chen Donglan was frightened at first, and then he was so ashamed that he wanted to disappear below the horizon immediately.

The part of the heat that had just dissipated on his face returned exponentially.

They walked down the mountain, this time walking side by side except where they couldn't pass side by side.

Along the way, Chen Donglan's heart felt like it was being slowly fried on a hot pan, giving him the illusion of smoke rising from his head. When I arrived at the hotel lobby, I was blown by the warm air conditioner, and it was even more sweaty.

Yuan Yuan stopped and looked at the guest sofa beside him: "You wait for me there first, I'll go to the front desk to deal with some things."

Chen Donglan nodded several times in a row.

Yuan Yuan took out a pack of tissues from his pocket: "You take this and give me the room card."

Chen Donglan took the tissue for unknown reasons and gave him the room key.

"Wipe your sweat." Yuan Yuan couldn't help but laughed, then walked to the front desk.

Chen Donglan held the tissue and covered it over his eyes, even though it was too small to cover half of his face.

It took a while for Chen Donglan to relax and unpack the tissue. The paper is unscented, with only a faint smell of wood, as gentle and quiet as the person who bought it back.

No matter what happened after that, Chen Donglan decided to keep this package of paper as a treasure.

Five minutes later, Yuan Yuan came back.

He handed over a completely different room card and said, "I changed the room type we stayed in tonight."

"Okay." Chen Donglan took the new room card, "Is something wrong?"

"No." Yuan Yuan denied, "It used to be two single rooms, but I just changed it to a double room."

Chen Donglan: "?"

Yuan Yuan didn't change his face: "The one with only one bed."

Chen Donglan's eyes were full of confusion.

Yuan Yuan added: "All the types of rooms in this hotel are couples suites with different names. Ours is called 'Island Love'. I don't mean anything else, I just think that we were not together before. They will all sleep in the same room, and if they are together, even if it's just for one night, if they live on different floors of the hotel, you will be cranky."

Chen Donglan still didn't respond, and stared at Yuan Yuan blankly, as if he didn't even know his name or where he came from.

Yuan Yuan's face was helpless: "Have you not figured it out yet?"

Isn't that hinting enough? So stupid to this point, it is no wonder that he has only recognized one person for more than ten years, and he does not cry when he hits the south wall.

As soon as these words were asked, the next second, Chen Donglan's eyes filled with tears.

"Don't..." Yuan Yuan didn't know what to do, he looked around, half coaxing and half scaring: "People come and go here, it's a shame to see it, let's go back..."

Before he could finish speaking, Chen Donglan, like a wild beast who didn't know what to do, pounced on him fiercely and tugged Yuan Yuan's collar tightly.

Tears fell and fell on his chest.

"Chen Dong...!"

Yuan Yuan was knocked back two steps in a row by him, only to stand firm.

This is the hotel lobby where people come and go. The background music, footsteps, and human voices come together and become very noisy.

But no matter how noisy it was, it couldn't be more noisy than Chen Donglan's heart, buzzing in his head, as if all the memories of the past had emerged together, chattering in his ear.

Yuan Yuan's chin was hurt by his hit, and he wanted to take two steps back, but he was afraid that once he stepped back, Chen Donglan would have no fulcrum, so he held back and did not move.

"Don't pity me..." Chen Donglan's voice was so hoarse, "don't choose to be with me because of pity. I'm serious, I take your feelings more seriously than anyone else. If you just pity me, It's better to throw me away from the beginning, don't come back to me halfway, don't give me hope, let me live too long..."

At the end, Chen Donglan choked up.

He said this in the most impolite tone he could.

But Yuan Yuan said, "I didn't."

Yuan Yuan looked at him with a firm expression, "I'm not pitying you." He pursed his lips and became calmer than ever before. He lowered his head and found Chen Donglan's hand, holding it tightly, and then holding it even tighter.

"Follow me." He pulled Chen Donglan into the elevator and silently pressed the floor.

The elevator goes all the way up. The two men held hands, one was silent, and the other was crying, which made the other tourists in the elevator feel strange.

When he reached the floor where the room was, Yuan Yuan quickened his pace and almost ran to bring Chen Donglan into the room.

At the same time as the door closed, Yuan Yuan pulled Chen Donglan into his arms with force.

"Stop crying..." His voice was broken, "I beg you, stop crying."

He understood the reason why Father Yuan stopped letting Mother Yuan into the kitchen. When he was still young, Yuan's mother screamed in pain while cooking in the kitchen. He followed his father who threw the newspaper on the ground and ran into the kitchen to find that his mother's hand had been cut with a long knife. Mother Chen didn't cry at that time, but only had tears in her eyes. Father Yuan looked at her, and Yuan Yuan was deeply impressed by his eyes at that time.

Like something was broken.

What is extremely cherished and loved.

Later, he found words that could be clearly described—

distressed.

"Chen Donglan," Yuan Yuan said, "I have never been in a relationship before. I will be fully prepared for anything and fully practice. But I don't understand the matter of falling in love, and I have nowhere to go. I checked the information, and no one cooperated with me to practice, so I can't guarantee that being with you will make you feel happy."

"But I promise, I'm serious, and I'll be nice to you."

Chen Donglan did not speak.

Perhaps he was speechless, and only stretched out his hands to hug Yuan Yuanhui and buried his face on his shoulders.

Hold on with all your might.

Maybe to others, "being good to you" is an empty check that is of little use, but to Chen Donglan, this promise is so wonderful that it makes him tremble.

Feeling the wetness on his shoulders, Yuan Yuan didn't speak either, and the two embraced each other for a long time.

after a long time…

long time…

Long…

After so long, Yuan Yuan's legs were numb.

"Chen Donglan?" Yuan Yuan let go of his hands in doubt, wanting to see what Chen Donglan's expression was like, but Chen Donglan immediately tightened his hands to prevent Yuan Yuan from moving.

Yuan Yuan was afraid that he was still crying, so he leaned back with difficulty, but Chen Donglan buried his face so tightly that it seemed to be stuck to Yuan Yuan's shoulders.

Yuan Yuan smiled helplessly: "raise your head, I'll see if your eyes are crying."

Chen Donglan then hesitantly released his hand and took a step back.

Although Chen Donglan's eyes were so swollen, he didn't want to cry at all. His entire face, including his ears, including the small half of his neck that was exposed outside his clothes, were all pink.

It's not sad, it's shy.

She was so shy that she wanted to hide her face.

I don't know why, Yuan Yuan looked as usual when he went to the front desk to change the room type, when he pulled Chen Donglan's little hand, he looked as usual when he hugged Chen Donglan, and at this moment, his face actually became hot.

"Cough." Yuan Yuan cleared his throat, "Are you hungry? Let's go to the restaurant to eat."

Chen Donglan shook his head and nodded again.

Yuan Yuan: "Are you hungry?"

"Are you hungry? Then let's go eat." Chen Donglan put the back of his hand to his face, trying to cool it down.

"Why are you still shaking your head?"

Chen Donglan's eyes dodged: "I'm not very hungry..."

"Hey..." Yuan Yuan sighed heavily, "Do you know that you are acting like a spoiled child?"

Chen Donglan's eyes widened: "Saying, acting like a spoiled child?"

"Yeah." Yuan Yuan nodded, "Every time I wronged myself for me, and then I became pitiful, making me feel guilty."

Chen Donglan…

Chen Donglan lost his ability to organize language.