[You told your wife the options given by the doctor, and she refused to go to the ICU.]
[When she knew that her death was inevitable and she was destined to be separated from you, she thought about how to cause you the least harm possible. Lying like a corpse, relying on instruments and potions to survive, is a terrible torture for both you and her.]
[My father contacted experts at other major hospitals and sent them Reina's medical records. All the responses he received were condolences.]
[You told the doctor about Reina's decision, and the doctor prescribed new medication to help Reina suffer less pain in her last days.]
[However, these drugs are only a drop in the bucket when it comes to the pain and suffering of illness that can lead to death.]
Memory scenes emerge.
As October approaches, the temperature drops a lot, the sky is often gray, and it looks like it is going to rain, but not a single raindrop falls.
In the morning, just as the sky turned white, there were few pedestrians on the road. Nan Youxi quickly walked across the sidewalk with a green light, entered the hospital, and walked towards the special ward.
As he passed by the garden, he hesitated for a moment and broke off a branch of osmanthus.
The nurse at the front desk already knew Nan Youxi. She greeted him good morning and helped him fill out the visit registration form.
He walked straight to the ward on the second floor, and his raised hand did not fall on the door for a long time.
Through the crack in the ward door, he heard low sobbing.
It was Reina's voice.
The suppressed crying sound was like a saw with fine teeth, pulling back and forth on Nan Youxi's heart.
Why was the wife crying? Was it because of her illness? Was it because of her grief? Or was it both
He knocked on the door.
Hearing the knock on the door, Minami Reina immediately stopped sobbing. She hurriedly wiped away her tears and lay back under the quilt.
In the early morning, she had a dream. She dreamed that a month ago, she successfully concealed her illness and miraculously recovered.
Two months later, she and Yuuki went to Yoshida Town together. The sky was sunny, but after they arrived at the lake, heavy snow suddenly fell. The azure blue lake surface instantly froze, becoming a mirror printed with the blue of the sky. The dead tree in the middle of the lake was covered with white snow in an instant, like a Christmas tree made with chemical reagents in science class.
She and Nan Youxi stood by the lake, looking at the beautiful scene. Nan Youxi pulled her, stepped onto the ice, and walked towards the center of the lake. The boy broke off a snowy branch and invited her to taste it.
Then, she was awakened by a sudden stabbing pain in her chest.
She opened her eyes and looked blankly at the strange yet familiar ceiling. The lake disappeared, the snow disappeared, and Yuxi disappeared. She had just taken the dead branch and had not yet tasted the blue lake and white snow.
Tears fell instantly, and the intoxication of the dream quickly dissipated, but after returning to sobriety and examining the current situation, my heart was even sadder.
It wasn't until there was a knock on the door that she realized she was sobbing with her head down.
Is that Yuuki outside the door? Did he hear himself crying
Nan Lingnai felt guilty and blamed herself in her heart for not being able to control herself.
"Come in." She tried to make her voice sound the same as usual.
Nan Youxi pushed the door open and handed the osmanthus branch in his hand to his wife.
"It's osmanthus. It smells so good." Reina sat up.
She lowered her head, touched the golden osmanthus petals with her snow-like nose, and smiled.
The corners of her eyes, cheeks, and lips all changed because of this smile, like a flower blooming with all its might.
Nan Youxi wondered, was this smile a lie his wife told to comfort him, or was he really just happy because of this simple cinnamon twig
No matter which answer it was, it made him feel painful.
"You came so early today." Reina raised her hand and held the osmanthus branch under Minami Yuxi's nose, letting him smell the fragrance, "Please help me put it in the water."
"I missed you, so I came here early." Nan Youxi took the osmanthus branch from his wife's hand, stood up and walked to the sink.
Tears fell again as she pretended to be cheerful. She thought of the hydrangea that Nan Youxi gave her three years ago. The bright yellow and tiny osmanthus flowers were more noble and fragrant than hydrangeas, but at this moment, she envied herself more when she was a hydrangea, because she still had three years to live.
Nan Youxi came out of the bathroom holding a glass with osmanthus flowers in it. She had wiped all the tears off her face.
Under Reina's arrangement, Minami Yuki placed the glass on the windowsill. The sun rose, and the yellow morning light shone into the glass filled with water, reflecting complex light and shadows.
"Didn't Yuko come with you?" Reina asked, staring at the glass.
"I didn't call her."
"Call her over next time, it will be more lively."
"You obviously don't like crowds."
"Where's Asano Nao? I heard from Yuko that she's a very quiet person."
"In some ways, she's even more noisy than Yuko."
"Where's Chiju Ichimi? She looks very well behaved."
Nan Youxi didn't answer. He sat on the edge of the bed and looked into Reina's eyes.
Reina avoided his gaze and looked down at her palms. The soft, jade-like hands that Minami Yuki loved were now sickly white.
Nan Youxi reached out and touched his wife's cheek, kissing her slightly dry lips gently.
"You're all I need."
"But I'm leaving you soon."
"And our children."
"No children, I have time to have one."
"Yes, a child named Mozi. We agreed on this in the summer. We will go find her in a few days."
"I don't want to adopt a child with you. Go and have one with Yuko, and one with Nao and Kazumi!"
"I love you."
"But I'm going to die."
Tears burst out again, rolling down and falling on the blue quilt. Reina looked at Minami Yuki's face, tears blurred her vision, blurring her husband's appearance. She blinked to drive away the tears in her eyes, but new tears came out again.
She choked up and apologized: "I can't do anything for you, I can't even be with you, I'm sorry."
Flowing along with her words and tears was her endless regret, the source of which was love. If she had known the outcome, she would never have gotten close to the person she loved.
Nan Youxi held her in his arms, melting her love and resentment between his hot lips.
[What is more tormenting than the pain is the wife's inner regret. She feels that she has not left anything for you. In your relationship, she has always been the one who is demanding. Her love for you has thus turned into complaints about herself.]
[You kiss her lips and tell her that the time you spend with her is her best gift.]
[The wife gradually calmed down. Outside the door, the nurse brought in the toiletries. You helped your wife wipe her face and brush her teeth. A faint blush appeared under her slightly red eyes.]
[In October, my wife's condition worsened again.]
[At the end of the month, you decide to take her to Yoshida-cho.]
(End of this chapter)