[Is it because you are too stubborn? Because you question too much? Or because you are too slow? ]
Looking at the simulated text, Nan Youxi felt her brain swell slightly, and the memory scene was about to come.
This will be a scene that only Asagiri Mitsuki's memory allows, and this is the first time in many simulations.
He laid back down in his blankets, ready for the memories that were to come.
[She removed the basically untouched food and dumped it into the kitchen trash can. The dark black of the trash bag swallowed up the bright colors of the food. She was not in the mood to eat today. She thought that her love affair was like this meal, appearing at a futile moment.]
Memory scenes emerge.
Bright light poured in from the glass skylight, covering the white walls, making it somewhat dazzling.
Nan Meiyue was lying on the sofa in the living room. She raised her white wrist and placed it on her forehead to block the overly dazzling sunlight.
When she closed her eyes, a man's figure appeared on her eyelids. It was Nan Youxi.
"I didn't expect that you, Mitsuki, would play tricks on people like this!" Komori Ai's voice appeared in her ears.
This was said a long time ago. She had not been in contact with Komori Ai for a long time, so the other party's voice was a little distorted. Before, she felt that this sentence was very sharp, but now, she felt a hint of tenderness from this sentence.
That was the first time she met Minami Yuki. She, Komori Ai, Minami Yuki, and Ibuki Yuko were having dinner at Mitake Pavilion. Minami Yuki ordered the Scarlet Devil Cake, and they shared their cakes with others.
On the way back, Ai Komori mentioned the chocolate ribbon of the Scarlet Devil's Cake, saying that the ribbon was very cute.
She responded by saying, "Well, the chocolate ribbon is delicious, but the piece that I exchanged with Senior Minami was only a small piece of ribbon, unlike the long piece that Ai had."
Then, Komori Ai blushed, poked her in the side, and said that she was teasing her.
She didn't understand what Komori Ai meant for a moment, and could only cover it up with an ambiguous smile to buy time to think. After more than ten seconds, she realized that Komori Ai thought that her words meant that Minami Youxi preferred Komori Ai.
She deduced this conclusion from the shyness on Komori Ai's face. She couldn't understand the meaning of her own words alone.
This is what makes her different from Ai Komori and ordinary girls.
—She had no feelings of love. This was something that every adolescent boy and girl should naturally acquire as they grew older, but she had not received it.
Other girls would naturally be triggered to show shyness, but she could only disguise it at the right moment through rational reasoning.
At that time, Komori Ai's expression hurt her deeply. Her blushing cheeks were like a red-hot iron engraving words, imprinted on her back.
She was unwilling to admit her differences and did not want to be classified as a freak, so she made the decision at that time that she wanted to date Nan Youxi.
Unlike her who relied on disguise to become a 'girl', Nan Youxi was a real, perfect 'boy'. She thought that as long as she stuck to Nan Youxi's side, she could get the essence of youth splashed from the boy's youthful body when he ran and jumped, and smear that essence on herself. Then she could get a perfect disguise and become a perfect and happy existence in the world.
The facts were just as she had imagined. Relatives, colleagues and former classmates all envied her marriage and then her life, and regarded her as a happy person.
One thing she had never expected was that her falsehood, after touching Nan Youxi's truth, caused some chemical reactions.
Last night, she confirmed one thing: whether she liked Nan Youxi.
This questionnaire about whether she liked it had been delayed for seven years. She kept filling it out and marking it up. Finally, last night, which should have been the happiest moment of her life in a general sense, she officially submitted the questionnaire.
The questionnaire appeared not long after she started dating Minami Yuki. That day at the dim sum restaurant, the boy took off her mask and asked her to date him. She was shocked, but then she felt happy. She felt that her non-existent relationship was very suitable for this fake relationship.
From her interactions with Nan Youxi, she felt a sense of peace and a faint feeling, something that could perhaps be called happiness.
She gave that feeling a different definition. She thought that she felt relaxed and comfortable around Minami Youxi because the boy knew her true self. She could tear off the uncomfortable mask on her face and stop the romance/friendship simulation program that was always running in her mind. She called this feeling a sense of security.
At the end of her first year in high school, when her parents were going abroad, she wanted to refuse and move in with her grandparents, but the boy's words disturbed her heart.
The boy said that trust is the foundation of all emotional relationships. If you don’t believe in love itself, if you keep questioning it, then the love will not be noticed or felt.
She thought of the feeling she called security, and she hesitated. What kind of emotion was that
She thought of Komori Ai again. Could it be that what she felt when getting along with Komori Ai was also a friendship that she had not realized
Feeling upset, she chose to leave. In North America, in a strange land, she was like the white cow carrying the Cowherd and the Weaver Girl, ruminating on her emotions.
She couldn't judge what her feelings were towards Komori Ai. She had indeed felt joy and warmth when interacting with Komori Ai, but as she and Minami Yuki said, she had felt these two emotions in many people, although those were not as strong as in Komori Ai.
She used to think that this feeling of being available to anyone proved that the relationship was fake, and that a relationship where anyone could be in it must be fake.
In North America, she tried to use belief as a knife and fork to dissect this emotion, and she realized that friendship can have many forms. Perhaps, what she felt was that everyone can be friends, and this is the state in which friendship exists.
Her method of judgment conflicts with friendship itself, and she is unable to make effective judgments.
However, romance is different.
Love is possession, it is the desire to rip open the other person's belly and drill into the other person's abdominal cavity. It is an emotion that cannot be separated from him.
She then returned to Japan and returned to Minami Yuki. She wanted to examine herself through this relationship.
She encouraged Minami Yuki to get close to Nao, Yuko and Reina. She said she didn't care, and she wished she did care. In fact, she did feel some jealousy.
She was delighted because jealousy was proof of love.
However, she also wondered whether this jealousy was the unauthorized evolution of her inner emotional simulation program or her poor imitation of a love story.
She thought that in the story and in many real cases, this jealousy should be burning and maddening, but she was only slightly jealous, and her feelings were too mild.
She began to worry again whether the jealousy in this relationship was real. Was she jealous that other women could have a perfect boy, or was she jealous that others had an individual named Nan Youxi
The former kind of jealousy is jealousy of other people's happiness, while the latter kind of jealousy is the real jealousy caused by love.
And yesterday, after the wedding, on her wedding night, as she lay alone in her bed, she had finally gotten the final proof.
She is already Nan Youxi's wife. They had a wedding and got their marriage certificate. She has achieved a happy state. Marrying a handsome, wealthy and gentle boy is a form of happiness.
At this time, she should give up jealousy. She has already obtained the happiness called marriage, which is something that other women cannot take away from her.
However, she still felt itchy and lost lying alone in bed.
She was sure that she liked Minami Yuki, because she had a desire for hugs, kisses and intercourse in her heart. She thought that Minami Yuki could not give her a real hug, kiss and intercourse, because their relationship was an agreement, and her husband was wary of getting too close to the women of Asano House, and at the same time, he was also wary of getting too close to her.
This impossible desire deepened her trust in love, because only true emotions would desire something that is impossible to obtain. Her love simulation program could not simulate this futile wish!
She smiled while lying on the sofa, smiling because she finally proved everything. She was silent while looking up at the skylight, silent because she proved the relationship by destroying it.
She thought of Ai Komori, her best friend in her life.
She laughed at her own futility. She cast a mask to disguise herself to stay away from the ranks of emotionless freaks. However, she was not an emotionless being. She used the best years of her life to resist becoming something she was not.
She followed the long river of memory, swimming back to her childhood, to the starting point of everything.
At that time, her father's job changed more frequently than it does now, and her grandparents were busy with work, so she could only follow her parents to one strange city and school after another, and part with one friend after another.
That's right. She sighed.
It turned out that there was another mask underneath her mask, and she took the second mask as her true self.
"What are you doing lying here?"
Nan Youxi's voice came from her feet. She raised her head and saw the sky full of sunset glow outside the window.
"I love you." She looked at her husband and expressed the emotion expressed by her passionate heartbeat.
"Are there any guests?" Nan Youxi looked around and asked in a low voice.
"No."
"Then you continue to lie down. I will come back to put down the easel, change clothes, and go to Asano's house for dinner right away."
"Um."
Nan Meiyue leaned on the back of the sofa, watching her husband going upstairs. She didn't take those words seriously at all.
If he took it seriously, it would only cause trouble, she thought. In order not to be bothered by her, her husband would probably choose to divorce her.
[After you came back, Mitsuki expressed her feelings to you, but you thought it was a joke, so she decided to disguise this feeling as a joke.]
[When you were 26 years old, you met Asagiri Saki and Asagiri Koichi through Mitsuki. Asagiri Saki and Asagiri Koichi were childhood sweethearts and distant relatives. At this time, Saki was 16 years old and Koichi was 21 years old.]
[After investigation, you found that Hirokazu Asagiri was already in an investment trap. He borrowed a lot of money in his own name and invested it in his friend's business, hoping to share his wealth with his friend. However, this was a scam.]
[Asagiri Hiroichi trusts that friend very much, and your subtle reminder failed to alert him.]
[When you were 30 years old, Asagiri Saki and Asagiri Koichi got married and gave birth to Asagiri Mayu. ]
[In the same year, Hirokazu Asagiri lost contact with his friends.]
[In his darkest moment, you helped him. You helped him pay off all his debts, including his bank loans and debts from relatives and friends who promised him high interest.]
[They are very grateful to you. For the high salary, Hongyi went to work in a remote area. Saki raised Moyu until she was one year old, then left her in her hometown and came to work beside Hongyi. They want to pay back the loan you gave them.]
[You couldn't bear to see Mo treated poorly in the countryside, so you often brought the girl to your home. Nao, Yuko, Reina, and Kazumi all liked her very much.]
[Meiyue also behaved very kindly towards Mayu, and you thought it was just a disguise. ]
[Asagiri Hiroichi had an unexpected encounter. When Mayu was six years old, he and Saki returned to Misaki. They paid back your loan, took their daughter away, and returned to live in the countryside.]
[During festivals, their family would come to visit you, and you would always ask Moyou to stay for a few more days.]
[At the age of 56, your paintings were recognized by the art world. In addition to being a composer and lyricist, you also have the title of painter.]
[After you turned 90, Nao, Yuko, Reina, and Kazumi passed away one after another. ]
[You spent the last stage of your life with your wife Mitsuki. During this time, she seemed very happy, but you did not understand the meaning of this joy.]
[Miyuki passed away before you. After her funeral, you fell ill and Mayu stayed by your side to take care of you.]
[You died at the age of 98. You divided your inheritance into three parts, one for your sister Xin'ai, one for your relatives in the Asagiri family, and one for Mayu.]
[Compared to the valuable inheritance, Mayu and Xin'ai prefer the paintings you left behind. ]
[Simulation ends.]
Nan Youxi closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. In the memory scene, the emotions coming from Asagiri Mitsuki were particularly strong, making him dizzy. Unexpectedly, the simulator did not give Asagiri Mitsuki psychological activities before, but was actually going to fill them all in later.
When the pain in his head subsided a little, he thought back to what happened to the Sims.
His head started to hurt again.
Compared to Asagiri Mitsuki, Nao, Yuko and Reina's problems are not that big of a problem.
He thought that in the previous simulations, all of Asagiri Mitsuki's strange behaviors had reasonable explanations.
But how to solve the other party’s problem
Could it be that he has to date another woman while marrying Asagiri Mizuki, completely replicate the simulated scenario this time, break up with the other woman, and then fall in love with Asagiri Mizuki
Nan Youxi began to have second thoughts in his heart, he hesitated whether to continue imitating Asagiri Mizuki.
While weighing the pros and cons, he glanced at the summary interface and breathed a sigh of relief.
No more simulation.
(End of this chapter)