I know now, today, Li Xingchen is crazy, Qin Lang is crazy, the two of them are crazy together is to drive me crazy.
"Go away!" I bit my lip, "Don't provoke me again."
"Impossible," Qin Lang said with a gloomy face, "It was you who started first."
"Me?" I couldn't help laughing out loud, I was so tired that even the laughter was weak like a kidney deficiency, "I regret it, okay? I started it alone, and I decided to end it alone. Qin Lang, I fucking let you get rid of me, what are you doing here?!"
Qin Lang's expression was as uncomfortable as being pinched by something, and there was a sense of forbearance and grievance in it, which made me feel that I was blind.
Turning around and opening the door with lightning speed, he was about to close it with force, but Qin Lang blocked it and broke in.
"Go out, don't force me to call the police." After killing Qin Lang, my heart didn't get better at all, but it was clear that until I was an empty shelf in the midst of the fiasco, if Qin Lang stayed longer, I probably wouldn't be able to.
Qin Lang was not threatened at all, he walked in step by step and said, "When I was waiting for you at the bar today, I was thinking, if you waited for me so many times before, is it possible that now I have all the things I owe you? , you can talk to me well and face me like before? Instead of putting on such a sharp appearance, but even you are tired yourself. "
I was like a balloon that would burst in a pinch, pretending to be stubborn in front of him.
His voice was hoarse: "If it is, it's okay to treat me as a cheapskate."
I shook my head, my chest was overturned with waves, I walked vainly to the floor-to-ceiling window, opened the curtains, looked at the night, and said, "The person you mentioned died in the fire five years ago. Qin Lang, you killed him."
"You... as expected, it's because of this."
I looked at Qin Lang's reflection in the floor-to-ceiling window, and there were some double images: "Is it just this thing? Oh, thank you for helping me in the past and during this time, but Qin Lang, I don't want to have anything to do with you. I got up.” I got up and walked in front of him and said word by word, “You have indeed changed a lot in the past five years, but you are still who you were five years ago, and you still don’t know why I left you. I tell you, then It's because I thoroughly, thoroughly, see, penetrate, you, and understand."
"Lin Xian..."
"Look for the Lin Xian who made you bully and humiliate, please go back five years ago!"
Qin Lang's mouth twitched, and he smiled fiercely: "Five years ago, you wanted to stay by my side, and five years later, you want to leave. Lin Xian, don't make a decision for two people by yourself."
I looked indifferent, biting the tip of my tongue secretly: "Love is a matter of two people, and we, from the beginning, are not a whole." I pointed to him and then pointed to myself, "I admit that it was me at the beginning. Being cheap, but being cheap once is enough, do you still want me to be cheap for a lifetime? You don't like me, and I don't like you anymore, how clean we are each."
"Who told you that I don't like you?" His deep eyes fixed my limbs like a nail, making my blood burst.
My shoulders were restrained all of a sudden, the man rudely pressed me against the window, the hard glass made my back hurt. I didn't have time to exhale, and I was greeted by his stormy roar.
"If I don't like you, then why should I wait for you for so many years?!"
"If I don't like you, then why should I keep pestering you?!"
"If I don't like you, then why should I fight with Li Xingchen?!"
A barrage of questions, one after another, exploded in my head like a landmine, and I couldn't answer a single one except the buzzing in my ears.
Qin Lang stared at me, his expression changed from anger to helplessness to surprise to melancholy, and the last word was spoken loudly: "Lin Xian, I love you, if you lie, you will kill me. I will follow you for the rest, just want me to go. ...unless you can make me forget you."
There was dead silence in the room.
My eyes widened, unable to believe what I was hearing. At first it stood still like a statue, then the lips trembled, then all the blood flowed out from the heart, and the back was more like a snake crawling into it.
I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you.
Three words that go back and forth.
Qin Lang's actions, expressions, and words suddenly broke into the forbidden area in my heart. My heart was blown into a pile of crumbs by the impact of the explosion, becoming gorgeous and coquettish, with bright red blood "plopping". .
Then something climbed up to my heart, frantically attacking the city in this soft field that was torn apart, intertwined, and planted with dirty flags!
Swinging, swaying, gracefully waiting for its final demise.
Probably because I was stunned for too long, Qin Lang shook me slightly: "Lin Xian?"
"Shut up!" I suddenly broke away from him and kept away from him as if avoiding the killer. I kept backing away, "Shut up! Shut up! You are not allowed to say any more!"
"Lin Xian, what's wrong with you?" His tone became very worried.
My eyes are a little flowery, as if the whole world has suddenly been marked with mosaics, blurred and unreal. This feeling is so familiar. In Li Xingchen's consultation room five years ago, I struggled with this feeling countless times.
At this moment I can't control my expression, all I know is that "monster", he's a rebel with a comeback, and he's coming to torture me again. I was so frightened that I could only put my hands on my ears and shouted, "I don't want to listen! Fake! You are not Qin Lang, you are my hallucination... You are fake!"
Seeing the 'Qin Lang' in front of me walking towards me, my whole body was filled with fear, my veins burst out, my eyes were cracked, and my headache was numb. , table lamp... In the past, those things should have passed through the body, but this time, they all hit the ground.
Moreover, that 'Qin Lang' was still approaching me, trying to deceive me while walking: "Lin Xian, calm down, I won't hurt you..."
"Go away! You go away! I don't want, I don't want to think about it anymore..." After smashing the last thing, I rushed into the bedroom, closed the door, ran to the bedside table, pulled open the drawer, found Snows, and handed With a shake, it fell all over the floor. I grabbed a few and stuffed them into my mouth. There was no water. I stretched my neck several times before swallowing them.
Outside the door, it was the sound of 'Qin Lang' knocking on the door.
I patted my chest and told myself, calm down, calm down, the one outside the door is an illusion, those are not real, I can overcome this illusion.
I lost to this illusion five years ago and I can't do it again five years later.
When I took out my phone, I looked at the water droplets on the screen and realized that I was terrified and burst into tears. I couldn't control the tears. I couldn't turn on the screen after swiping my fingers several times.
Calm down, Lin Xian, you have to calm down. I kept telling myself this, and finally got out of the phone.
Every minute I was waiting seemed to be magnified countless times. I knelt on the ground and knocked my head against the wall, as if such a humble gesture would let God know my piety and ask him to take care of me and redeem me.
"Beep---beep---beep---Hello?" Finally connected!
I whimpered pleadingly: "Xingchen...'he' is here again! What should I do...Save me, save me..."
After sending out the distress signal, I fell to the floor like a battery that was running out of power, and the phone slammed on the ground with a bang. Tears flowed sideways from one side, and the brain gradually fell into a chaotic stream of consciousness.
The whole world slowly became quiet, whether it was the shouting of 'Qin Lang', the ticking of the pendulum clock, or the greetings of the stars on the phone, everything else seemed to be gradually leaving me.
My world only has a dialogue with myself.
I said, Lin Xian, you always like to pretend to be strong in many things. In fact, from the moment you were born, the world quickly thread the needle and wrap you in a harsh cocoon.
You say you're going to break through it, fuck you, and in the end there's only one trapped beast fight left.
So, don't be brave.
You are weaker than anyone.
I don't know how long it took, and in my empty consciousness, I felt as if I was hearing a conversation, intermittent and broken.
"What did you say to him?… What?! You fucking wanted to kill him…"
"… what the hell happened to him?"
"Delusional disorder! Delusional disorder of being loved!" LC