The two pots of gardenias I bought a while ago were left on the balcony and died one day. The white petals curled into broken shapes and fell around the flowerpot, and the leaves fell all over the ground.
Zhou Hao was stunned for a long time, but he didn't think it was dirty. His fingers sank into the soil and he grabbed the stump with all his strength. His fingernails were full of mud.
Finally, he dug out the roots and the ground of the gardenia.
"How did you die..." He squatted beside the flower pot and murmured like a lost soul.
He stood up, went to the bathroom, scrubbed his muddy hands vigorously, ravaging the meaning of self-harm, until his hands turned red, he didn't care much. Then, he rummaged through all the storage boxes and cabinets at home, and found a plastic bag, which was a shopping bag from a supermarket.
Zhou Hao carefully put the "corpse" of gardenia that he picked out just now into a bag, carried the bag, and went out the door.
He went to Building No. 2, Cheng Zixu's home.
It was night now, and the lights were on in that apartment. Looking up from the bottom of the building, the bright yellow light gave off a pink halo little by little. After watching for a long time, his eyes were slightly dry, so Zhou Hao rubbed his eyes.
He knew that Jiang Yuqian was living with Cheng Zixu, and he had seen him several times in the dark. The two went in and out together, and went shopping with each other.
Zhou Hao clenched the plastic bag in his hand, entered the apartment building, and took the elevator to the door of Cheng Zixu's house.
At the door, after half an hour of being alone, he finally rang the doorbell. Soon, the door opened and it was Cheng Zixu.
Cheng Zixu was obviously surprised, called "Senior Brother", and then his eyes fell on the bag in his right hand.
"I'm looking for Jiang Yuqian." Zhou Hao remained expressionless.
Jiang Yuqian heard the movement and walked over. The people outside the door immediately stared at him with wide eyes. Between the three of you, you looked at me, and I looked at him, without saying a word.
After a long time, Zhou Hao raised his left hand and handed over the plastic bag, his expressions and words were without exception very self-blame,
"The potted plant I bought for you was raised to death by me..."
Two potted plants, one for myself and one for you, why did they die...
His hand was hanging in the air, but Jiang Yuqian didn't reach out to take it.
Zhou Hao was immersed in his own sad sighs, he didn't care about anyone, and he didn't pay attention to the reactions of others. He thought for a long time, and gradually came up with a clue, and he started talking to himself again,
"Did I water too much..."
The moment he raised his head, he saw the two people in front of him, standing together at some point, Jiang Yuqian blocked Cheng Zixu behind his back, with guarded eyes and disgust, what does it look like? It's like watching a complete lunatic.
I'm not crazy, I just fed the flowers I bought for you...
Zhou Hao became stubborn, like a stubborn donkey. He filtered out all right and wrong, all strange glances, and the sound of plastic bags sizzling.
Without taking off his shoes, he went directly into Cheng Zixu's house and walked to the balcony on his own. There happened to be a few pots of unknown flowers and plants on the balcony. Zhou Hao pulled a flower out of the soil by the root, then inserted the "corpse" he brought into it, covered the soil, and carefully planted the flower around the root. The soil is flattened.
The other two stood behind him, staring at all his strange behaviors. Jiang Yuqian's eyes did not change, he was still on guard, and he was still a little confused.
"Brother, what are you doing?" Cheng Zixu asked with a frown.
In a split second, Zhou Hao finally came to his senses: Why did he come here? Why did you bring gardenias here
He looked at his palms that were stuck to the mud, and slowly stood up, his dirty hands were hanging by his sides, clenched into fists, his nails sunk into the flesh of his palms.
"I ate too much at night, so I'll come for a walk."
The words were full of loopholes, but Jiang Yuqian didn't care, who would have nothing to compete with a lunatic
Cheng Zixu looked at Zhou Hao's hands, his eyes darkened slightly, thinking that the man in front of him had shared the bed with Jiang Yuqian for four years, and how many times his hands had touched Jiang Yuqian's body, he would still feel A little uncomfortable.
It's jealousy.
But it's okay, after all, he also knows that Jiang Yuqian doesn't love Zhou Hao. Thinking of this, he actually felt a little sympathetic to the man in front of him,
"Brother, go and wash your hands." Cheng Zixu pointed in the direction, "That's the bathroom."
Zhou Hao lost his usual flamboyance and became dull. He walked in the direction Cheng Zixu pointed, turned on the faucet, and washed away the mud on the palms and backs of his hands. He looked at himself in the mirror again, the corners of his mouth curled into a forced arc.
He was forcing himself to put on a disguise. He could show weakness in front of Jiang Yuqian, but he absolutely couldn't show weakness in front of Cheng Zixu, let alone show his prestige in front of the two of them.
He took a deep breath and prepared his emotions, but his eyes hit the sink countertop by mistake.
There are two tooth bowls, each with a toothbrush, and the eyes move to the side, and there are two towels hanging on the towel rack, and there are two razors, two bottles of facial cleanser... everything is in pairs. Pairs.
He thought of the two pitiful tooth jars in his home, one never spoke, and the other completely lacked companionship.
Why didn't it talk anymore? It turned out that it came here to talk. Zhou Hao thought paranoidly.
He couldn't stand this kind of favoritism, and he threw one of the jars into the trash.
Zhou Hao walked out, his expression returned to his previous domineering and arrogant, his eyes squinted, and he didn't look straight at the two.
Those eyes were supercilious and reckless, with an arrogance that penetrated to the bone, but only he knew that it was all pretending. A paper tiger is very empty.
"Jiang Yuqian, come out with me." Zhou Hao said.
"Are you okay?" Jiang Yuqian asked.
"Come out with me, I have something to do with you."
Jiang Yuqian didn't respond to him, and he didn't move. Cheng Zixu patted Jiang Yuqian on the shoulder and said, "Brother may have something to do with you, so go out with him."
Originally Zhou Hao was pretending well, and he could have persisted until he went out before venting, but Cheng Zixu's kind words made him collapse instantly.
"None of your business? Is Jiang Yuqian dumb! I want you to speak for him!" He was so angry that his chest was trembling, what kind of meddling did the little girl have in his affairs with her husband!
Cheng Zixu waited silently, unable to continue his words. Jiang Yuqian was afraid that Zhou Hao would do something extreme, so he pulled him up and walked out.
The two left the community and walked along the side of the road.
"Jiang Yuqian," Zhou Hao paused, looking at the person beside him, "You follow me back."
He spoke cautiously, and seemed a little unsure.
Jiang Yuqian also turned around, looked at him, and pursed his lips in silence.
Surrounded by the sound of cars coming and going, it is noisy and harsh, and the city lights at night show a cool atmosphere all the time, which is not friendly and peaceful at all. After staying for so many years, Zhou Hao still couldn't integrate into this city.
At this moment, standing on the side of the road in the city, overwhelming loneliness rushed to him.
Zhou Hao couldn't stand the boundless loneliness, he rushed up and hugged Jiang Yuqian fiercely, "Let's make up and stop fighting, okay?"
Jiang Yuqian let him hold him, and after about half a minute, he pushed Zhou Hao away, with an indifferent and distant expression, "Don't be like this."
Zhou Hao couldn't control his emotions anymore, he began to breathe heavily, and then blinked vigorously, "Then what the hell did you mean before!"
I thought I had hoped for a happy ending, but why did it only take half a month, and the ending changed again...
Jiang Yuqian was a little powerless, "Zhou Hao, don't let me stop talking."
Zhou Hao's nose was actually red, but it was hidden in the night, and no one could see it, not even himself.
"It's too much to say...then you should say it."
Jiang Yuqian just wanted to cut through the mess quickly, even though he knew how humiliating and inappropriate what he said next, he still said it, very slowly and softly,
"I was nice to you before, because I felt sorry for you, to make you happy, and my guilt can be... lighter."
Sure enough, these words were successful, not only cut the mess, it was about to cut Zhou Hao's heart into a thousand holes.
A man you take as your life suddenly tells you one day, I don't want to get along with you at all. When I was fucking your ass, I was actually thinking about how to get rid of you.
Anyone would be crazy.
Zhou Hao kicked him and walked away. He didn't go in the direction of home, but walked along the road.
In fact, there is no right or wrong direction, there is no home for him anywhere. That small apartment was just a place to sleep and eat, not a home.
After driving away the lunatic, the two of them can live with peace of mind.
Crazy... Crazy...
He's not crazy, he's just a little unsophisticated, but no one has ever kindly taught him—
Haohao, don't give away dead flowers...
Haohao, don't kick people when you are angry, it's very impolite...
Haohao, a man must have a backbone, he doesn't care about our people, we don't want them...
Zhou Hao's back became smaller and smaller in Jiang Yuqian's eyes, gradually blending into the bustling city streets... He also turned around and walked back. When he got home, Cheng Zixu asked him, how was their conversation going
Jiang Yuqian didn't speak, and went straight to the balcony, staring at the withered gardenia tree in the pot secretly lost in thought...
Zhou Hao's stubborn appearance squatting beside the flowerpot digging the soil and his pitiful figure in the hospital that day, at this moment, kept flashing in his mind one by one.