When he woke up the next day, the other side of the bed was empty, so Jiang Yuqian got up and went to the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face. Breakfast was set on the dining table, and since the living room was connected to the dining room, I could hear the groans from the TV in the living room even when I was eating in the dining room.
He was too familiar with that movement, and he had secretly opened that video many nights when no one was there.
"Zhou Hao, what are you doing?" Jiang Yuqian pressed the switch and stared at the person on the sofa.
"Can I watch it? Watch TV." Slowly, provocatively.
Jiang Yuqian grinned grimly, went to sit next to him, and held the lump of flesh between Zhou Hao's legs, exerting a little force.
"It's because I didn't satisfy you yesterday that you wake up so hungry to watch this kind of video in the morning?"
Zhou Hao took Jiang Yuqian's hand in his favor, and gently stroked the smooth and white back of his hand with his fingers.
Climb along the pole, take some oil, and laugh at him again:
"Look at what you said, what is this kind of video? This is a GV directed and acted by Cheng Zixu."
Zhou Hao intentionally and slowly spilled the last two letters from his mouth. He glanced at the man's ashen face and continued to speak provocatively, "Jiang Yuqian, you even sold your body for that bitch, he knows ?"
Jiang Yuqian seemed to have heard a big joke, "Sell your body? To you? For so many years, you have always been the one who got fucked."
Zhou Hao's eyes flashed with feigned ruthlessness, and he pulled his hand away forcefully, not wanting to say any more.
He had downloaded the so-called video at random from Xiaohuang.com. Among the massive videos, he immediately noticed the actor on the cover—wearing a white coat. The male actor is too similar to Cheng Zixu in some angles.
He had been trying to tease Jiang Yuqian at that time, but he couldn't do it, and then he finally figured out the man's mind. He cut the video down to 3 minutes, and then took this cut video similar to toilet QJ type to find Jiang Yuqian.
The condition is that Jiang Yuqian must be with Zhou Hao, otherwise he will post the video on the school website.
What about Jiang Yuqian? Cheng Zixu was probably crazy in love, and he agreed to his unreasonable request without even proving its authenticity.
A video had held Jiang Yuqian hostage for many years, and there was an unwritten contract between the two of them.
In Zhou Hao's self-awareness, he also thinks that he is an annoying person. For so many years, he has only one friend by his side, can't get close to anyone, has a withdrawn personality, and always treats unfamiliar people indifferently.
People with strong self-defense can easily make themselves miserable.
He hates the sissy Cheng Zixu, who is almost deformed and perverted; but sometimes, he also envies that person.
Countless cold and lonely nights, he lay in bed imagining himself as a sissy, and then coaxed himself to sleep with the little theater in his head.
It was obviously a sad and self-pitying thing, but he was obsessed over and over again and could not be restrained.
After a long silence, Jiang Yuqian said exhaustedly, "Zhou Hao, didn't your parents teach you what shame is?"
"Get the fuck out of me!" Zhou Hao was furious.
No matter what he said in the past, Zhou Hao would not care too much about it, and would even talk back to him. But upon hearing this, the old wound in his heart suddenly opened a big hole, and blood was gurgling inside.
Because, he has no father, only mother and stepfather.
His father died in a car accident when he was seven years old; two months later, his mother took him to remarry and married a tall and thin man. Since then, his life has changed drastically.
My mother is an elementary school teacher in the county seat. It is very strange that the teacher teaches and educates people, but teaches her son to be a weird child.
What his mother often said was, "It was supposed to send you to the home of your grandparents in the country, but your Uncle Li refused. You have to be grateful. When you are studying in the country, the old people don't care about you, and you are easy to change. Be a child who has accomplished nothing."
He understood many things from his mother's half-knowledgeable words, and his cognition of those things at that time was already beyond his biological age.
He was actually a precocious kid, and he thought that if he wasn't a kid who accomplished nothing, his mother would love him all over again.
So he studied hard and was the first in his class every year. Even so, he failed to get his mother's attention again. Because a year later, his mother gave birth to a younger sister for him.
He hated that girl as much as he hated the humid southern air.
He didn't get attention in terms of grades, and he did a lot of unimaginable things, such as stealing money from the family, fighting in school, and even stealing his stepfather's cigarettes to smoke.
He will always remember the pungent smell of tobacco, and he wonders why middle-aged men love such an unpalatable thing.
But he was not allowed to think too much. Soon, his mother found out about his bad behavior. The mother was very angry, but she didn't hit him. She turned around and went to put her little sister to sleep. He was even more puzzled, why didn't his mother punish him
The eleven-year-old boy couldn't understand this question.
Many years later, his younger sister went to elementary school, but she didn't finish the homework assigned by the teacher. His mother and stepfather beat her to tears, and then coaxed her softly for a long time.
The three of them lived in the younger sister's room, experiencing the loving education of a strict father and loving mother.
At this point, he finally thought through the puzzling question many years ago—
Because that woman doesn't love him anymore.
That night, my sister was crying, and he was hiding in the small attic room where he lived, crying too. He missed his father who passed away, and his grandparents in the countryside.
The memories came to an abrupt end... Jiang Yuqian had already left the apartment.
The breakfast on the table has only moved a little, and now it is lying on the plate desertedly. He ate all the porridge and eggs on the table with the bowls and chopsticks that the man had used.
It was still early, he went to the room to turn on the computer, and updated his serialized post on Douban - "Those Years Between Me and Mr. J"
[I was born in June in the south, it was a long rainy season. When it rains, the windows and the floor of the attic will always see the mist of moisture, making my small room sticky and wet. I hate June, I hate this season.
In fact, subconsciously, what I hate the most is probably my own birth.
Yesterday was my birthday, I sent a message to ask Mr. J if he would come, if so, I will make his favorite chicken curry. But he didn't reply me.
I had expected this ending a long time ago, and I'm used to it.
In the evening, I had a stomach problem, and my stomach throbbed badly.
If one day the pain dies, I will probably be completely relieved. Does that woman cry? Will she feel sorry for my death
I went downstairs to buy medicine and saw Mr. J walking with Sissy. I deliberately showed my face in front of my rival, but Mr. J just put a cold face on the floor and turned a blind eye.
The next morning, I deliberately brought up old things to provoke him. He was very angry with me, but I didn't feel much better.
He called me a shameless person without parental education, I was very angry, indeed no one taught me what shame is. My mother and stepfather never cared about me...
You see, the person I thought was closest to me was always able to hit my sore spot with ease, leaving me with no chance to retaliate.
Can't he see that I get sad sometimes too...
I am eager to draw the missing family affection from him, but he always pushes me into a deeper fire pit blindly.
For so many years, I have often been confused-what am I stubborn about?]
Soon, there were many new replies under the post—those who supported him, and some who called him crazy.
Zhou Hao picked out a few messages that scolded him, slammed them back, and then turned off the computer.