In the middle of the night, Jiang Yuqian smoked a cigarette completely. From the initial choking on his throat, to gradually getting used to it, he finally felt a nervous joy.
Life's first cigarette, but not the first puff. His first bite was dedicated to the lip-to-mouth kiss between him and the little madman.
When Cheng Zixu got up to go to the bathroom at night, he saw a strong smell of smoke in the dark living room.
"Yuqian, what are you doing?" Then there was a burst of dazzling lights.
Jiang Yuqian raised his head to look at Cheng Zixu who was wearing pajamas. In a trance, that person turned out to be a young man in a school uniform, as pure white as a piece of white paper. He is a heinous person who has defiled others, yet wants to abandon them.
Jiang Yuqian withdrew his gaze, bowed his head in silence, and he pinched the remaining cigarette butt in his palm, and he clenched his palm into a fist, squeezing out the sporadic fire ideas.
"Go to bed early, it's already one o'clock." Cheng Zixu said understandingly.
"Hmm." Jiang Yuqian made this sound from deep in his throat.
Sloppy conversations, no one pointed out the unusualness of the night—why would a never-smoker hold a cigarette in his hand, what was he thinking about when he didn't sleep in the middle of the night.
The moment Cheng Zixu turned to walk away, Jiang Yuqian suddenly stopped him, and then stared at him blankly.
"Yuqian, do you want to say something to me?" Cheng Zixu was still standing without taking a step forward.
Jiang Yuqian's eyes became more and more serious, and finally fixed on the fruit plate on the coffee table.
Cheng Zixu walked over slowly and sat down beside him. Just like a judge and a criminal, they wait for the prisoner's final statement before the sentence is pronounced. Jiang Yuqian was the criminal who committed a heinous crime.
"You can say whatever you want," Cheng Zixu said frankly.
For a long time, Jiang Yuqian only mumbled a word from his throat, "I'm sorry."
Cheng Zixu wasn't sad either, and even smiled, "Yuqian, you must have told Zhou Hao that too. One day, if you can't live with Zhou Hao anymore, come here and say sorry, Let me forgive you, you say, should I forgive you?"
Any one of the three of them, if singled out, would be a resoundingly intelligent person. Zhou Hao is, he is, and Cheng Zixu is too.
Jiang Yuqian's eyes were red, he hugged Cheng Zixu, his throat choked, "I'm sorry."
"When you were in high school, you didn't like to talk, and the teacher asked us to sit at the same table, because we didn't like to talk. At that time, there was always a circle of girls around the door of the class, and they came to see You. You never raised your head to look at them, you just quietly read the writing exercises. I thought you were different from others at that time. Then you said you liked me and wanted me to date you, you know That night I was so excited that I didn’t sleep all night, my male god actually liked me. I pretended not to care, I was afraid, I was afraid that if the two of you had been in contact for a long time, I would change in your heart, not what you thought that way..."
Jiang Yuqian was just listening quietly, and he hugged Cheng Zixu even tighter. This is a behavioral confession, he really failed this good boy.
"You can divide it if you want, Jiang Yuqian, everyone is an adult, I hope you don't think about it in the future. Let go! I'm leaving now!"
Cheng Zixu broke away from Jiang Yuqian and went to the room to pack his things. Soon, he dragged his suitcase out of the bedroom and walked into the living room, where Jiang Yuqian was still sitting on the sofa.
"Jiang Yuqian, you can't figure out anything. One night Zhou Hao came over with a handful of dead trees, and you sent him out. Do you remember? After you came back, you squatted on the balcony for a long time."
Jiang Yuqian looked at him with a complicated expression, and he continued, "At that time, I knew you had him in your heart. That's it, we haven't slept together anyway, so you don't need to say sorry to me. Let me save some time Dignity."
Cheng Zixu dragged his suitcase and left, and the whole house fell into an unprecedented silence. Jiang Yuqian took out another cigarette from the cigarette case, lit it, and in the curling smoke, his sin became more serious.
===========
When the weather turned warm in March, Zhou Hao received a call from Yan Ming, who said on the phone that he had moved out of Mr. Jiang's house and had no place to live now. Zhou Hao gave him the address of Minlin District, and this man came here at night with his luggage on his back.
At this time, he and Sun Yiwen were still in a tepid cold war. If one doesn't tell, and the other doesn't ask, the grudge between the two is getting bigger and bigger.
In the evening, it was Zhou Hao's stewed noodles with tomatoes. The stewed tomato egg flower was poured on the hot noodles, and the fragrance was overflowing.
"You haven't eaten for eight hundred years?" Zhou Hao couldn't stand this man's starving appearance.
Yan Ming chuckled, "I didn't eat at noon."
"What's the matter? Why did you move out of your teacher Jiang's house?"
Yan Ming looked lonely, and said succinctly, "He has a girlfriend."
Zhou Hao understood everything. At the small dining table, the three of them ate their own food, and no one spoke. Sun Yiwen remained silent. For a while, silence almost occupied most of his life.
After dinner, Zhou Hao proposed to go for a walk with Yan Ming, and asked Sun Yiwen casually, "Are you going?" Sun Yiwen shook his head, saying no.
After leaving the house, Yan Ming also sensed the strange atmosphere between the two of them. He didn't have time to ask just now, but now the time and place are favorable, so he opened his mouth, "Did you quarrel with your family?"
Zhou Hao licked his lips. He was a little uncomfortable with the dry weather recently, "No."
"Damn me! I can see that the boy is not very emotional."
Zhou Hao looked sideways at Yan Ming, and smiled carelessly, "Is it obvious?"
"It's not normal anyway."
"Hey, it's just a small quarrel, it will be over in a few days. Don't talk about me, why did Teacher Jiang suddenly have a date?"
There are not many vehicles on the street, and occasionally one or two car horns will be heard. The moonlight is like water, and the silence between the two is like water.
"The day before yesterday, I couldn't hold back and expressed my heart to him. The next day, he came back with his girlfriend. He asked me to help him sort out the materials as usual, and ate the meals I cooked as usual, but he didn't say a word about his new life. Girlfriend. Don't you think he's scary?"
Zhou Hao understood that Yan Ming's self-directed and self-acted secret love that lasted for three years was completely shattered. He could imagine that under this person's face as calm as water, there was already a pool of stagnant water in his heart, with black and green duckweed floating on it.
"This kind of man is the scariest."
Yan Ming opened the corner of his mouth and smiled, the smile was forced.
"Zhou Hao, do you still remember what I told you?"
"What words?"
Yan Ming was completely immersed in his hazy memories, his eyes blurred, "He once told me that writing poetry after Auschwitz is barbaric. However, Kertes also said that after Auschwitz, only Auschwitz can be written. Weixin's poems. I should write poems, why should I be influenced by that man."
Zhou Hao listened to the clouds and mist, and understood a little bit. As for the Tas that Yan Ming was talking about, he had never heard of it.
"Okay, writing poetry is good! Literary and artistic youth should read books and write poetry." Zhou Hao catered so calmly that he even forgot that he once said that literary and artistic young men who write poetry are the most terrifying.
The two walked around the river in Minlin District. The river water was shimmering faintly against the backdrop of the street lamps, and the sound of humming passenger ships could be heard in the distance. The two stood in front of the river, and when the wind from the river blew, they couldn't tell the difference between the southeast, the north, and the west.
After staying for a quarter of an hour, Zhou Hao still couldn't stand the cold spring, so he turned his head to look at Yan Ming, "Go back, it's a bit cold."
A quarter of an hour is enough, strict enough to eliminate right and wrong for three years.
After returning home, Sun Yiwen was teasing the two little guys, but seeing them coming back, he didn't even turn his head. Zhou Hao walked over, deliberately picking on words, "Have you washed the dishes yet?"
Sun Yiwen's gaze remained silent, "It's finished."
After wrestling with the conflict for so long, Zhou Hao finally couldn't bear it any longer. He grabbed Sun Yiwen, "What the hell are you doing? Tell me what's going on. If you can't handle it alone, you still have me. If the two of you can't bear it any longer, then everyone should die!"
Yan Ming hurried over to hold Zhou Hao back, and kept persuading, "It's late at night, don't be so angry."
Zhou Hao shook off Yan Ming and dragged Sun Yiwen into the bedroom, only to hear a "bang", and Yan Ming was blocked outside the door.
Sun Yiwen finally stopped being silent as if he had nothing to do with himself, his eye circles turned red, "Old Zhou, why are there always so many bad people in this world?"
Even in the blink of an eye, Zhou Hao's heart still softened. He was most afraid of a clean boy crying in his life.
"Why cry! Just ignore those bad guys!"
Sun Yiwen got up from the bed and stood still. The eyes of the two were very close, and the pain and suffering of the two were clearly seen by each other.
"Old Zhou, when we graduate in June, we will leave City A." Sun Yiwen said again.
"good."
Sweeping away the gloomy mood just now, Zhou Hao is happier than anyone else at the moment. He and Wenwen are going to another city to start again and settle down again.
Once the bedroom door was opened, the two appeared to have reached a settlement. Yan Ming didn't dare to take a breath, the two of the lovers were already laughing and teasing the kitten.
"Bring the kittens there too, oops, will they be acclimatized?" Sun Yiwen said to himself.
Zhou Hao knocked him on the head, "What are you thinking? They just eat, drink and sleep, and they are almost lazy. How can they tell whether this water and soil are from Minlin District?"
"Right… "