In the morning, Yan Ming didn't say a word, and hurried out after breakfast. From last night to now, the whole night, no one knew what twists and turns he had gone through in his heart.
Zhou Hao rolled up his cuffs and was about to clean up the dishes. Suddenly, the cell phone at the corner of the table rang. He stopped and turned on the cell phone to check. It was a WeChat message from Yan Ming——
"I still remember to this day that the two of us sat on the hard seat for 72 hours to come here. At that time, my big bag still contained six cans of soybean paste that my mother made for me. She told me, son, go You are the most promising person in our family because of your experience outside. I have eaten those six cans of sauce for a long time, and every time I eat, I am more responsible to my mother. Zhou Hao, I’m sorry, I can’t let my mother down.”
Zhou Hao read WeChat, misty water droplets appeared in his eyes. He figured it out, Yan Ming thought everything through that night, he thought of his mother, Zhou Hao, and even the train ride seven years ago.
Isn't this the scariest thing? He thought clearly, but in the end he decided to plunge headlong into the torrent.
Regardless of the leftovers on the table, Zhou Hao hurried out the door and took a taxi directly to Yan Ming's unit. Colleagues in their unit said that Yan Ming had something to do with the editor-in-chief and went out.
Standing on the crowded street, Zhou Hao kept calling Yan Ming, answering, answering quickly. After making five or six calls in a row, the other end would always hang up.
Helpless Zhou Hao edited a message for Yan Ming—
"Yan Ming, you are not clear-headed now, come back quickly, let's think of a way. You always told me before, don't forget the original intention, why, say sorry to me, you just want to give us both the original intention. Ruined? Why do you say it’s ruined?”
For a long time, Zhou Hao didn't wait for a reply. He walked towards the rushing traffic and grinned: This is a dark and dirty city with no human feelings. It is like a bloody mouth, swallowing beautiful boys into its mouth. In the stomach, and then spit it out, people who only smirk and cry.
Zhou Hao bowed his head, shrugged and walked back. He walked very slowly, and it took him a long time to digest the terrible fact—
The boy who used to always persuade him to be a man with integrity and not to waste Jiang Yuqian's money will one day do disgusting deals for money.
Zhou Hao felt that the only holy place of dignity in his heart had been completely polluted and was no longer clean.
After walking for a while, Zhou Hao's cell phone rang, and he reached out to pick it up, "Zhou Hao, I'm at the entrance of Xingyue Hotel, I didn't go in."
The ecstasy that fell from the sky swept Zhou Hao, he got in a taxi and hurried to the hotel that Yan Ming said. When they got there, they saw Yan Ming arguing with a bald man.
"Yan Ming." Zhou Hao walked towards them.
The bald man didn't care about the presence of other people, and he spoke in an indescribable tone, "Okay, you can play with me! Tomorrow morning, hand in your resignation letter. There are plenty of people who want to sit in your position."
Zhou Hao pulled Yan Ming behind him, and yelled at the bald man, "Who are you? You speak so loudly?"
"Boy, speak more politely!"
"Baldhead, be more polite when you speak your mother!"
The editor-in-chief was used to being praised by others, so he couldn't stand this kind of humiliation, so he raised his hand in a moment of anger. He was a tall man with a lot of strength, and when he punched down, Zhou Hao's mouth was bruised and blood oozes out.
"Fuck you!" Zhou Hao pounced on them, and the two wrestled, and it was hard to tell which was better.
"Zhou Hao, stop beating, let's go!" Yan Ming pulled out the red-eyed Zhou Hao, and dragged him out.
Even though he was punched, Zhou Hao was quite happy. He let Yan Ming drag him and got on the subway home. Fortunately, the only holy place of dignity left in his heart was preserved.
When he got home, Yan Ming wrapped an ice cube in a towel, and rubbed it on Zhou Hao's face to reduce his swelling.
"Why fight with that kind of person? It's not worth it."
Zhou Hao hissed, probably because Yan Ming's hand hurt the wound.
"Are you okay?" Yan Ming was very nervous.
Zhou Hao took the towel wrapped in ice from Yan Ming's hand, "That man's mouth is dirty and needs to be cleaned up."
"You are still as stupid as you were in high school."
…
The two were talking, when Sun Yiwen came back, bent over, changed his shoes, and turned a deaf ear to the two big living people in the living room.
Zhou Hao's face was obviously darkened, and he didn't come back for so many days, and he didn't say a word when he came back. There was a twist in his bones, Sun Yiwen didn't open his mouth to talk to him, and he would never open his mouth.
Yan Ming looked at the man who shrugged his shoulders and lowered his eyes, and asked him, "Have you had lunch yet?"
Sun Yiwen stood still, pursed his lips, "I've eaten."
Zhou Hao couldn't hold back and asked him, "Where did you eat it? With whom?"
Sun Yiwen's complexion was not good-looking, he was a little depressed before, but now he was even paler. The light in the house was very bright, which made Sun Yiwen feel a little sick.
Yan Ming quickly changed the subject, "Hey, when I think about my resignation tomorrow, where can I find a job?"
Who knows, the other two didn't pay attention to him. Zhou Hao and Sun Yiwen are still communicating with their eyes, as if they can understand each other's heart.
Sun Yiwen entered the bedroom, Zhou Hao got up and followed, but saw Sun Yiwen standing on a chair, reaching out to get the big black box off the cabinet.
Zhou Hao had a faint guess, "What are you doing?"
Sun Yiwen didn't raise his head, and continued to busy himself with his own affairs, "Pack up your things and leave."
"What's the hurry? Don't you leave next week?"
Sun Yiwen still kept his hands and feet, "I won't go with you, my home is in City A, why should I leave my hometown?"
"Why?" Zhou Hao blurted out.
Sun Yiwen finally stopped, raised his head and looked at Zhou Hao with his clear boyish eyes, "Just think of me as a vulgar and cowardly coward."
Zhou Hao leaned against the wall, blinking hard, his eyes soon became vicious, he wished to strangle Sun Yiwen in front of him.
Exactly the same, last year, also in May, Jiang Yuqian said that he didn't want him anymore. He went crazy to find Jiang, but the man would only drive him away as a lunatic with harsh words.
How many times will he be abandoned in his life
"Why?" Zhou Hao didn't understand, so he asked again.
Sun Yiwen's eye circles were already red, and he said every word clearly, "You need money for food, money for renting a house, money for shopping, money for everything, do you have money? You don't even have a job now! Ou Yi It's different, he has plenty of money. Old Zhou, so what if we have love? Love can never be eaten!"
Facing the tearful little Sun, Zhou Hao was completely speechless. It was Zhou Hao who wanted to escape from the big city, and it was Zhou Hao who wanted to find spiritual sustenance. He shouldn't drag the native Sun Yiwen to wander around the world. Like, he shouldn't have dragged Jiang Yuqian to bear his dark childhood with him.
It turned out that in this world, everyone is kind, only Zhou Hao is selfish to the bone.
"Sun Yiwen, stay here for a few more days, I'll go alone next week." This was his last request.
Sun Yiwen looked back at him with a face full of injuries, and suppressed a choked voice in his throat, "Yeah."
"What do you want to eat? Hurry up and order, after this village, there will be no more shops like this."
Zhou Hao suddenly figured it out, let Xiao Sun go, don't harm others.
==============
When Jiang Yuqian received a call from Ou Yi, he knew it was over.
These days, his car is always parked downstairs in the house rented by the little lunatic. He looks forward to the meeting between the two, and he even fantasizes about countless scenarios in his heart.
The figure coming out of the dilapidated corridor attracted Jiang Yuqian's attention, and he drove slowly to follow.
The figure is very lonely and decadent, wandering aimlessly on the street, the colorful neon lights of the city are so inconsistent with that figure. The figure moved forward, and the car also moved forward.
Suddenly, the figure sat on the side of the road and buried his face between his legs. After a while, he began to scratch his hair furiously again. Finally, the little lunatic lit a cigarette.
Jiang Yuqian was as motionless as a mountain, sitting in the car, his eyes locked on that figure.
He will not pass tonight, the evil in his heart tells him: he should crush the little madman's incomparable self-esteem, so that the little madman has nowhere to go, and he can never leave him again.
Wait, wait until all hope is gone, and the little lunatic won't be able to make a fuss anymore.
He has already become a bad guy, so let's just be a bad guy.
Suddenly, the little lunatic took out a piece of crumpled paper from his coat pocket, looked at it, it wasn't paper, it should be a photo.
The little lunatic stared at the photo for a long time, and he couldn't hear what he was muttering. Then, the little lunatic suddenly tore the photo in half from top to bottom, put one half back in his pocket, and threw the other half on the ground.
When the figure was gone, Jiang Yuqian opened the door and got out of the car to pick up half of the photos that were discarded on the ground. It was a woman with wavy hair that was popular in the 1980s and 1990s, her left hand was hanging down, and her right hand should be holding someone on her arm.
This should be the little lunatic's mother, Jiang Yuqian felt a bitterness welling up in his throat, inexplicably, he felt sorry for that poor Haohao uncontrollably.
…
Zhou Hao just wanted to cross the road from the sidewalk and go to the coffee bookstore opposite. He was just in a trance, his eyes were dazed, he mistook the red light for a green light, why did Jiang Yuqian jump out suddenly.
"What are you doing!" Jiang Yuqian's voice was still panting.
Zhou Hao brushed Jiang Yuqian's hand away impatiently.
"Haohao, I'm sorry." The confession from the man's chest echoed in the endlessly flowing city streets.
Zhou Hao couldn't hear Jiang Yuqian's confession, and a passionate voice came from the depths of his heart:
Go wandering! The sky is big and the earth is big, and the whole world is home!
Shit sustenance! Bullshit redemption! All are liars! Stop trusting them!
Go wandering! Find a strange place to start from scratch! Think of it as the beginning of life!
Soon, the red light ahead turned green, and the little lunatic quickly walked to the coffee bookstore opposite, and Jiang Yuqian followed closely.
The decoration of this store belongs to the modern literary style, surrounded by red brick walls, there are many abstract graffiti on it, the tea table is a log table, quite literary.
Zhou Hao chose a seat by the window and sat down, looking out of the window, Jiang Yuqian sat opposite him.
The waiter came over and handed over the menu. Jiang Yuqian took it and ordered two lattes.
The little lunatic was always looking out the window, and it was precisely because the two of them got close that Jiang Yuqian noticed the bruise on the corner of the man's mouth, which he hadn't seen clearly in the night just now, but now it was reflected in the light, and it was very obvious.
"Who hit it?"
Zhou Hao turned his head, with an unruly expression, "A bald man, he doesn't smoke."
Jiang Yuqian pursed his lips, his eyes darkened, "I broke up with Cheng Zixu."
Zhou Hao just glanced up at him, and then a disdainful smile appeared on the corner of his mouth, as if to say, this is his shit.
In fact, Jiang Yuqian's next sentence originally wanted to say: Haohao, let's live a good life. But when he saw Zhou Hao's expression, he couldn't speak no matter what.
There was silence between the two of them.
The waiter brought the coffee, Zhou Hao picked up the cup and took a sip, drinking like wine. By pretending to be "wine", he asked Jiang Yuqian very seriously, "Did you annoy me to death during the few years I was pestering you?"
How would Jiang Yuqian say this? Yes, I was annoying you to death in those years. But now, I would rather you pester me and bore me to death.
Zhou Hao didn't wait for Jiang Yuqian's answer, he smiled self-deprecatingly, he thought he already knew the answer.
After a long time, Jiang Yuqian suddenly spat out four words, "I'm not bothering you."
Zhou Hao seemed to have heard a big joke suddenly, and he was out of breath from laughing. After he calmed down a little, he winked mischievously at Jiang Yuqian, "You are bluffing me, you must be bored to death me."
who are you? His mother, Jiang Yuqian, Sun Yiwen, and many other people who have interacted with him.
This is a typical mentality of self-defeating and self-defeating, and he can bear it by tearing open the wound and putting it on the bright side.
Jiang Yuqian suddenly grabbed Zhou Hao's hand, "I didn't lie to you."
Zhou Hao was not in a hurry to shake it off, he even held the slender hand back, "You don't think I'm annoying, why don't you want me anymore?"
Talking to himself, he has suffered all the grievances of the world, and he wants to ask whoever he catches.
If the two of them are in a private space at the moment, he must enter the little lunatic hard, let him scream, and let him know that the two of them are united in spirit and flesh, and he doesn't find him annoying, nor does he Want him.
In the end, Jiang Yuqian brought the little lunatic back to their home a year ago with all the scars. Everything was in pairs, even the two pots of Chlorophytum.
On the sofa in the living room, Jiang Yuqian pressed the little lunatic under him. He really entered into the little lunatic as he thought in the coffee shop. The little lunatic yelled uncomfortably, and then started Panting loudly.
In the tender desire, Jiang Yuqian thought of his first night with the little lunatic. It was a big winter, the windows of the balcony were not closed tightly, and the cold wind was blowing from the outside. At that time, he was dazzled by anger, and wanted to torture the vile man under him. Without any foreplay, he just Going in, the process was extremely difficult, and he was in pain.
He didn't remember other details, nor did he remember the expression of the little lunatic at that time. That night, he became a real man.
Afterwards, the two of them went to the bathroom to wash up. Jiang Yuqian's clothes were neatly placed in the cabinet in the bedroom. He had been living here for a while.
Sliding his index finger from the left end of the hanger to the right end, Zhou Hao picked out a piece of clothing at random and changed it for himself.
The changed clothes were thrown in the bathroom, and Jiang Yuqian found the remaining half of the photo from Zhou Hao's coat pocket, showing a young father holding a child.
In an instant, his heart was stung by the needle.
When he walked into the bedroom, the little lunatic was leaning against the bed and smoking a cigarette, with no expression on his face and no brilliance in his eyes. Fortunately, he didn't look at the chandelier on the top.
"Haohao, let's go on like this." Jiang Yuqian finally said what he wanted to say in the coffee shop.
Zhou Hao looked up at him with a cigarette in his hand, blinked his eyes, "No, I'm a bad person, I can't harm you."
He's a bad guy destined to wander the world.
Jiang Yuqian lost his voice again. In front of the little lunatic, he will always be an indisputable debtor.
"Give me a cigarette." Jiang Yuqian sat next to Zhou Hao and moved his face closer.
Zhou Hao didn't have too many surprises, and smiled, "You smoked too? Cigarettes are a good thing." Then he took one out of the cigarette case and threw it to him.
Jiang Yuqian smoked directly from the embers of the remaining half of the cigarette butt left by the little lunatic, after igniting it.
This night, Zhou Hao did not return to Minlin District, he and Jiang Yuqian slept in Binjiang No. 1. There is no love, no love, just when I happen to be irritable, I make an appointment.
Let him be a real bad guy for a while, he doesn't want to care about the bullshit three views, bullshit moral constraints.
At night when the lights first came on, he sat on the side of the road, picked up the photo in his hand and looked at it carefully, and the woman's face gradually changed into the pink woman in his memory...
The heart-pounding pain woke Zhou Hao up. Even if the woman died, he couldn't convince himself to cross that hurdle.
The pain gradually increased, Zhou Hao had no choice but to tear the woman out of the photo, leaving only his father and Xiao Haohao.
"Mom..." He muttered a few times in his mouth, whether it was to vent his hatred or some other weird emotion, it was impossible to know.