The final exams were over, and the students returned home one after another. Zhou Hao didn't go back as in previous years. At present, he is staying in the school laboratory to do experiments. After the busy few days, he will have to report to the hospital for an internship next month.
Since the bar farce last time, Zhou Hao lost contact with Jiang Yuqian, and he never took the initiative to find that person again.
In a flash, tomorrow is the weekend again.
At night, he fumbled for the phone—pressed the name in the communication, then returned it, and pressed it in again...
I didn't know how many times I repeated it, and even my fingers became a little numb because of the stubborn behavior.
night, deep.
The building he lives in is facing the street, so there is always the sound of sirens and the voices of passing pedestrians outside. When the house is extremely quiet, the noise outside can always be heard clearly.
He likes houses facing the street, which can cover up the desertedness of the house just right.
At half past ten, Zhou Hao put down his phone, went to the bathroom to take a shower, and then went to the bedroom to sleep. He slept until 11 o'clock the next day. Maybe it's because I slept too much, and my head always feels tired and sleepy.
The mobile phone that was not dialed has never been turned on since he put it on the coffee table at half past ten last night.
This is normal, his social circle is so small that it can almost be ignored, except for Jiang Yuqian, Yan Ming is the only one left.
Yan Ming went back for the summer vacation this year, and he just left the day before yesterday, so he sent him to the train station by himself. As for Jiang Yuqian, it was even more impossible for that person to take the initiative to find him.
In the past, he would send a message on Friday night to remind the person—"It's the weekend."
Both of them knew the underlying meaning, that is to say—it's time for you to come over!
Only once, Zhou Hao wanted to see if Jiang Yuqian would take the initiative to come over, and deliberately did not remind him on Friday. Sure enough, the next day, that person really didn't come.
At this point, Zhou Hao had finally come to his senses. Between the two of them, he was never worthy of willfulness. It was originally a forced transaction. If you don't work hard, that person will ignore you at all.
Occasionally Zhou Hao also has a sentimental side, he would lie on the bed and imagine what that person would be like in the middle of the night. Probably like him, he misses a certain person terribly. Isn't there a sissy hidden in that person's heart.
This world is always so wonderful that you want to scold your mother! He loves Jiang, Jiang loves Cheng, who does Cheng love? He doesn't know either.
It was past eleven o'clock, and it was already past the time for breakfast, so we decided to combine brunch and lunch, and Zhou Hao simply made one dish and one soup with the ingredients in the refrigerator. After eating, he hurried to the laboratory.
You see, life is not only about fucking love, but also endless research and experiments!
In a sense, Zhou Hao enjoys doing experiments. Because he was tormented by fate to fill the empty shell that was left with few things, and it was a happy thing for him to be filled with busy things.
The cold experimental equipment is sometimes much warmer than the so-called human feelings.
After soaking in the laboratory for a day, the primary cell culture finally produced some satisfactory results. Walking out of the aseptic operating room, he took off his mask and white clothes, and washed his hands. At this time, my stomach growled a few times, and I looked at my phone, it was already seven o'clock.
Zhou Hao left the underground laboratory and turned around on the main road. Dazzling neon lights, young people ostentatiously, and the square dancing aunt at the gate of Songyuan Community...
Everything that is lively is noisy and glaring.
This is an international metropolis, which is all-encompassing and ever-changing, accepting people from all over the world, as well as brave young people from all over the motherland.
Rao is a world of flowers and flowers, the scenery is unique, Zhou Hao can always give birth to the loneliness of wandering behind the huge flow of people. This is indeed not his hometown, or even a city with a very different style from his hometown.
"Yan Ming." He called Yan Ming.
"Well, what's the matter?"
"What does it look like now?"
Yan Ming on the other end of the phone obviously didn't understand, "Ah? What?"
"It's nothing..." Zhou Hao hung up the phone directly, and walked along the road aimlessly like a walking dead.
How many years? It has been five years since he went to college and now he has graduated from graduate school.
Zhou Hao still remembers that he dragged a heavy black suitcase and carried a big schoolbag on his back, and sat on a hard seat for two days and two nights before arriving in the imperial capital.
No one at home saw him off when he came, and the family had never called him in all these years. Even if he died in a foreign land, that woman wouldn't know about it.
With his fingertips, he found "Zhang Qiuhua" in the phone's address book—that was his mother's name. He hesitated and couldn't make up his mind. What did he say when he got through? What would that woman say
Zhou Hao thought a lot, since he was a child, he was always thinking terribly deeply.
"Beep beep—" Soon, the other end of the phone was connected.
Zhou Hao didn't speak first, he licked his upper and lower lips, which was a sign of his nervousness.
"What's the matter?" On the phone, his mother's voice was so alienated that it was almost a stranger.
Zhou Hao pursed his lips, his face solemn and solemn, "Are you in good health?"
Treating this blood-related mother was like treating a teacher and leader since he was a child. There was never any time for them to talk, laugh and play with each other.
"It's okay." The other end of the phone turned and said, "It's okay."
"Gone."
"That's enough, Tingting has a few questions to ask me."
On the phone, the busy tone of "beep beep" resumed. Zhou Hao stood on the side of the road in a daze for a quarter of an hour. He lit a cigarette, sat on the side of the road regardless of his image, and smoked.
When people are sad, they have to try to find something to distract them. Over the years, his addiction to smoking has grown stronger and stronger.
He has smoked secretly since junior high school, and in the harsh and closed environment of high school for three years, he obviously doesn't smoke much, and even has a tendency to quit. As soon as I arrived at the university, my former addiction to smoking relapsed.
Every time he finished that thing with Jiang Yuqian, he had to get one too. Yan Ming persuaded him to quit smoking as soon as possible, because this food is harmful to the body and not tasty.
He also knew it in his heart, but it was easy to be addicted. The smoke ring flicked across the tip of his tongue and then slowly spit out from his mouth. He enjoyed the foggy process.
Zhou Hao took out his mobile phone again, called Jiang Yuqian, and he got connected soon. It's rare that that person didn't refuse today.
"Jiang Yuqian, you are more addictive than cigarettes." Inexplicably, like a drunk, such a sentence popped out of his mouth unconsciously.
"Zhou Hao." The man called his name in a low voice, and then said, "You scare me."
After a pause of more than ten seconds, the other side continued, "I'll give you the money, and the apartment will also be given to you. We order it as soon as possible. Don't pester me anymore."
"Can you keep your fucking mouth shut and don't mention the money! In the past few years, I have spent a lot of money on you, and I will pay you back in the future! I will pay you back in the future when I earn money in the future!"
At this moment, Zhou Hao seemed to have found an outlet for his hysteria.
In fact, he was a little sad. He lost his love, so why was he taken away by that person along with his self-esteem
There was no sound on the other end of the phone, and Zhou Hao angrily pressed the hang up button.
At eight o'clock on the street, he called three people in a row. Except for Yan Ming, the other two made him physically and mentally exhausted.
With his mother, he could never escape that blood relationship; with Jiang Yuqian, he was addicted to that person's cleanliness, unable to extricate himself.
"Did I slaughter the entire city in my previous life?" Such self-pity flashed through Zhou Hao's mind countless times.
There will be such retribution in the cycle of cause and effect. Only with such self-comfort can he be freed from the fucked up life and ignite the faint hope of life.
It is said that during the Meiji Restoration period in Japan, a young girl committed suicide by jumping off a waterfall. She left a suicide note, which said that she was not world-weary or determined, but that she felt that youth was too beautiful and gorgeous. She wanted to spend her best years like Die like cherry blossoms.
When Zhou Haochu saw this place for the first time, he was still in the second year of junior high school, at the age when he was studying hard and smoking hard. He cut out this suicide note from the book and took it out every night to read it.
His precocious mind has already surpassed his peers in the second grade of junior high school. When everyone else is playing games, he has already thought of the ultimate destination of his life.
Now, at this very moment, he once again thought of the suicide note that was cherished by him. He was so confused that he committed suicide for the sake of his youth
What about him, what is he going for
Thinking of this, Zhou Hao was taken aback by himself. If he dies, he won't die. Others owed him, why should he die? He doesn't want it, he wants to live a good life and disgust them to death.
He took out his mobile phone, but instead of calling his mother, he called Jiang Yuqian again, and it took three calls before he got through—
"Jiang Yuqian, I will cling to you for the rest of my life! I just want to disgust you to death!"
"Zhou Hao, it's time for you to see a doctor." Jiang Yuqian on the other end of the phone obviously didn't have much patience, after saying this, he hung up directly.
"Fuck!" Zhou Hao snorted, then stood up and walked towards home.
When he got home, it was already half past nine. He updated Douban's post, but there was only a short sentence today—
[I can't figure out the meaning of life. I don't have any family or lover. They all think I'm a burden.
Probably, I live for disgusting people.]