The wind messed up Lezhishi's hair. He looked at Song Yu, looking helpless, but what he said was firm, "I'm not afraid."
Song Yu guessed Le Zhishi's answer, he was indeed a very stubborn child.
Soon, Le Zhishi lowered his eyes again, "I just feel... I'm a little sad, so I don't dare to look at her."
He regarded Lin Rong as his mother and didn't want to hurt her at all.
The first time he saw Lin Rong, he could almost recall Lin Rong’s jokes about Song Yu’s love. Although they were all teasing, it was obvious that she also hoped that Song Yu could find a girl she liked and be happy and safe. To spend a lifetime.
Lezhishi didn't know what to do.
"Don't think about it." Seeing him look sad, Song Yu couldn't bear to throw such a complicated problem to him. It was not Lezhishi's fault at first. "Let's go up first."
"Um."
Back to the dormitory again, the dormitory aunt greeted eagerly, "Mom is gone?"
Le Zhishi responded in a low voice, "Well, I'm going back."
"Don't worry about getting sick, she almost fell when she walked in."
When Le Zhishi saw the snacks Lin Rong gave her, the packaging was very recognizable, and I could imagine Lin Rong anxiously entering the door and wrestling, because sometimes she walks very carelessly, which is comparable to her own.
With Lin Rong's care, Song Yu was able to go upstairs with Le Zhishi, entering and leaving his dormitory at will.
In fact, he didn't know, as long as he signed the registration form to show his identity, he could come to Lezhishi's dormitory to take care of him from time to time. But he really needs a reason to have a space to be alone with Lezhishi, so he deceives himself and pretends to rent an apartment.
Fortunately, I like him when I know, at least now. Otherwise he really made too many wishful thinking.
On weekends, there is no one else in the dormitory. Le Zhishi opened the door and turned on the light, climbed onto his bed, found the phone next to the pillow, and saw the spray Lin Rong put on his pillow.
Feeling a little depressed, he got off the bed, opened the closet, sorted out two sets of his clothes and put them in his schoolbag, as well as the laptop and the turquoise that Song Yu gave him.
Song Yu stood at his table and found the chicken soup that Lin Rong was thinking about cooking, as well as the snacks and dim sum she gave each roommate on the table. They were all well distributed.
Even the same habit told him that Lezhishi was also the "son" brought up by Lin Rong.
Feeling complicated, Song Yu felt a little numb in his body. He kept those careful thoughts in the past from everyone, and over time it became a habit, which can be digested by himself no matter what.
But now he is no longer alone. He promised to cherish Lezhishi, but this decision also seems to pull Lezhishi into this abyss of self-blame and suffering. Song Yu was very uncomfortable for a while, and didn't know what to do.
"I'm ready." Le Zhishi saw Song Yu in a daze, stretched out his hand, touched his finger, briefly shook his fingertip, and said softly, "Let's go."
Song Yu said yes, then took Le Zhishi's bag and drove him back to the secret small apartment. Along the way, the two people tacitly avoided discussing what had just happened. Song Yu played a soothing piano music to cover up the silence in the carriage.
Le Zhishi checked the messages on his mobile phone. There were more than a dozen missed calls, which was shocking to see, as well as WeChat messages sent by friends. He had a very strong evasive mentality, and he didn't want to see one after turning off the screen. Suddenly, he hoped that Song Yu could drive him away in this car and hide in a place where no one can find it.
But this bad idea only existed for a few seconds, and Lezhishi gave up. He could not take Song Yu away, nor could he leave Lin Rong and Song Jin.
Calm down, Lezhishi answered all the messages one by one, and then chose to shut down.
The apartment was not far from the school. They arrived soon. The lights in the underground parking lot were dim. Lezhi got out of the car and entered the elevator behind Song Yu. He sneezed in the elevator, so Song Yu stretched out his hand and slightly wrapped his waist.
Opening the door of the apartment, it was dark inside, as if it was no longer the beautiful and warm room in the afternoon. Song Yu stretched out his hand to turn on the light switch by the door, but was pulled by Le Zhishi. Song Yu wanted to ask him what was wrong, but in the next second, Le Zhishi hugged him and buried his face on his collarbone. He didn't say anything, but the hug seemed to be a comfort to Song Yu.
It is strange that they seem to be in the dark as they should.
Le Zhishi crossed his arms behind Song Yu's back, stroking it up and down very lightly, trying to ease Song Yu's tense emotions. After a long time, he said, "I'm hungry, let's drink the soup." ."
Song Yu said yes and turned on the light.
The chicken soup is filled with red dates and wolfberry, as well as nourishing mountain ginseng and flower maw. The color is golden and bright, and the familiar aroma comes out as soon as the lid is opened. Le Zhishi took out the porcelain bowls and spoons they bought, washed them and served them with the soup, after a sip, he remembered when he was a child. He was in poor health and had a lot of things that he couldn't eat. Until he graduated from elementary school, Lin Rong brought him meals to school every day, and accompanied him to finish eating in the cafeteria.
No one does not envy him for having such a beautiful "mother" who can cook, so when Lezhi was a child, he would not be called Aunt Rong outside. He enjoyed the praise of his mother for being great.
This kind of poor vanity made Xiao Lezhi Shi very satisfied.
"Eat more." Song Yu gave him a stewed chicken leg and placed it in a bowl.
Le Zhishi looked at Song Yu, wondering if he had done something wrong, and if he shouldn't tell what he liked about him. If you bear with me, will it be good for everyone
Time passed slowly in the quiet air. Le Zhishi wanted to say something to make Song Yu happy, but Song Yu was always talking. He said that he should remember to take medicine, and take his temperature later. Sending a message to his mother, he said while standing by the sink to wash the dishes.
Song Yu usually doesn't speak so much, he is often the quietest one. He said so much, but it made Lezhishi uneasy. He is confused and confused. I blamed myself for being naive, thinking that as long as I could be with Song Yu, I would already be in heaven, but after returning to my senses, I realized that this heaven is likely to be the hell of their loved ones.
This is why Song Yu has always kept silent about feelings.
One night, Le Zhishi quietly followed Song Yu's words, taking medicine and washing, and when he returned to the room, he found that the quilt Song Yu had taken last night was missing, and couldn't help but feel a little disappointed, but He didn't want to put a greater burden on Song Yu, so he didn't say anything.
He lay on the bed and sent a message to Lin Rong, saying that the chicken soup was delicious, and asked her if she could get home safely.
Lin Rong quickly replied and sent him a picture of cotton candy and orange sleeping together.
[Aunt Rong: Is your brother in a better mood? ]
Lezhishi said honestly, as if not.
Lin Rong quickly replied.
[Aunt Rong: You coax your brother, he always likes to be bored alone, but I am actually very worried. When my brother grows up, he doesn't want to tell his mother anything anymore. Fortunately, there is you by his side. He will smile more when he is with you. If only my brother can rely on us as much as you do. ]
Looking at the words from Lin Rong, Lezhishi thought for two seconds.
[Lele: Aunt Rong, if one day, you think your brother or I hurt you, can you not be angry with him? As long as you are angry with me, you can beat and scold me. My brother loves you very much, and I love you very much, but if you do something wrong, it must be my fault. ]
Lin Rong responded quickly.
[Aunt Rong: What are you talking about? Isn't it something you didn't dare to tell me? No, you two are so obedient. Tell me if you are unhappy, and I will help you solve it. Otherwise, what do you want your parents to do? And I know that you all love me and Dad very much, and I will never be angry with you. ]
After a short while, he received another one.
[Auntie Rong: It's a symbolic anger at most for a little while, so you can just coax me. ]
Le Zhishi sniffed.
[Lele: Well, I love you [爱心]]
His nose was a bit uncomfortable, but because he wanted to cry, he was even more uncomfortable, so he needed tissues. He got out of bed, looked around in the bedroom, thinking of seeing him in the living room during the day, and planned to go down to get it. Opening the door lightly, he saw Song Yu in the living room on the second floor, hesitated for a moment and did not go directly downstairs.
Because he found Song Yu standing in front of the white low cabinet next to the sofa, found a bottle of medicine, poured one in the palm of his hand, and drank it with cold boiled water.
Le Zhishi frowned, thinking that Song Yu was also sick. He was very worried. He glanced at the bottle of medicine again, always feeling that the packaging of the bottle was familiar. Song Yu was about to turn around, and Le Zhishi went back to his room with some guilty conscience and closed the door. He leaned behind the door and heard Song Yu's footsteps upstairs softly, and the wooden stairs made a dull sound.
The pace stayed at his door for a few seconds. I don't know if it was an illusion in Lezhishi. His heart beat faster, but the pace didn't stop in the end, and he went to the next room.
Le Zhishi suddenly recalled why he felt familiar. He had seen this medicine bottle on the table in Song Yu's dormitory. It had exactly the same packaging. Song Yu told him that it was melatonin and he wouldn't let him eat it.
With hindsight, he picked up the phone to check the effect of this hormone.
[Taking melatonin can help alleviate sleep disorders and relieve the pain of insomnia to a certain extent. ]
Seeing this sentence, Le Zhishi's heart suddenly felt a pain, and he continued to look down and read all the introductions about this hormone.
The night passed quickly, and the lake outside the glass window was very quiet. When Lezhi looked at the lake, his worried face was reflected on the transparent glass, as if the lake was also looking at him.
Ten minutes later, trying to persuade himself not to disturb Song Yu's Lezhi, after all, he couldn't hold it back. He was afraid that wearing slippers would be too noisy, so he put on his socks, stepped on the floor barefoot, opened the door very lightly, walked to the next door, and spent almost half a minute twisting the doorknob, making no noise as much as possible.
Song Yu's room was always dark and quiet, like an air-raid shelter that cut off everything. He likes to close all the curtains without leaving a trace of light. Le Zhishi felt the dark and went in and fumbled forward very carefully. His eyes soon adjusted to the darkness. He saw Song Yu's bed, and he approached a little bit.
But it was still discovered.
Song Yu stretched out his hand to turn on the lamp, and the room suddenly lit up. Lezhishi was like a stupid thief who failed to steal. He stood by the bed in a daze, staring at him a little awkwardly.
"Why are you here? Uncomfortable?" Song Yu leaned up and looked at him.
At this moment, Le Zhishi hoped that he was a puppy like Cotton Candy, quietly ran over, jumped into bed with a slight jump, next to Song Yu, without disturbing him. His eyes were a little sore, and he walked over and sat down by Song Yu's bed.
"No discomfort." Lezhishi explained to herself, "I'm not here to stick to you."
Song Yu looked at him, his frowning eyebrows loosened slightly as he turned on the light, his hand stretched out from the quilt, covering Lezhishi's wrist, his fingertips were cold, "Don't want to stick to me?"
"No." Lezhishi felt misunderstood, and quickly denied it. He turned the light to the darkest, lay down beside Song Yu, and put a hand on Song Yu, "I came with a mission."
"What task?"
"Coax you to sleep." Lezhishi's expression was a little triumphant.
Song Yu's mouth twitched slightly and said nothing. Lezhishi said again, "I'm great. Every time an orange lies on my lap, I just touch it and fall asleep."
"So you have to come and touch me casually?" Song Yu's voice was a little lazy, deep and nice.
Le Zhishi shook his head, "No, I'll coax you seriously." After he finished speaking, he began to perform his duties, patted Song Yu's shoulder once and again with very light force. Song Yu was afraid that he would catch a cold again and pulled him into the quilt.
"Your hands are cold." Le Zhishi was a little dissatisfied. He felt uncomfortable thinking that one of the side effects of the hormone was that his body temperature was lowered.
Song Yu stared at his face and asked in a low voice, "Why are you here to coax me to sleep?"
Le Zhishi replied honestly, "I saw you take melatonin. I just checked and found out that melatonin relieves insomnia." He raised his eyes, his eyelashes trembled, "You often Can't sleep, can you?"
Song Yu did not answer. As his silence continued to lengthen, he saw Lezhi a layer of water vapor under his eyes, so he said, "Isn't this normal? Now many people can't sleep at night and like to stay up late."
"Like staying up late is different from wanting to sleep and not being able to sleep." Lezhishi finally couldn't help but hug Song Yu, "If it's nothing, why would you take melatonin? And that one that can't be taken often has many side effects. , There will be dependence, and may also cause mild anxiety and transient depression."
He shouted his brother with a nasal voice, "Will you not eat it in the future?"
Seeing him so worried and holding so tightly, Song Yu had to respond, "Okay, don't eat anymore."
"If you can't sleep, I will stay with you." Le Zhishi said everything was solemn, "I bought a book for you to read, and I read civil law and criminal law for you..."
"Then there is no need." Song Yu smiled lightly.
Hearing him laugh, a tight string loosened slightly in Le Zhishi, and looked up at Song Yu's eyes, "Then I will read everything you want me to read."
Song Yu thought for a while, as if he had a very good idea, "Your diary from grade 1 to grade 6 in elementary school."
Le Zhishi's face immediately showed a difficult expression, "This is my privacy..."
"Forget it," Song Yu said, "just make me sleepless."
"Yes," Le Zhishi quickly agreed, "When I find it, I will bring it all over and read it to you." He touched Song Yu's back, "I hope you won't laugh until you can't sleep after listening. What I wrote when I was young was probably not normal."
"For example, hope that all the wheat in the universe will be extinct, and everyone can't eat it?"
"How do you know!" Le Zhishi opened his eyes wide, "Did you peek?"
"My mother sent you a midnight snack. You accidentally saw it, so she secretly told me."
"How is this..." Le Zhishi felt embarrassed when he thought that he had been secretly laughing for a long time.
The corners of Song Yu's mouth were slightly raised, as if he was a little happier than before. This makes Lezhishi very satisfied. He pressed his face against Song Yu's neck with some reliance, "I hope you are happy every day."
"No one is happy every day." Song Yu gave a negative response.
Le Zhishi cited a counterexample, "I am happy with you every day, and I am happy for an hour."
After speaking, he lowered his voice, buried him on Song Yu's shoulder, and was silent for a while.
Song Yu thought he could not speak anymore and wanted to urge him to go back to sleep.
"Brother." Le Zhishi still opened his mouth, his voice muffled in their arms.
"If being with me makes you sad, tell me, okay? I won't insist on being by your side."
The room was very quiet, and he could hear Song Yu's heartbeat, beating his chest dullly. I don't know how long it took before Song Yu gave his answer.
"With you, I'm happy and sad." His voice was a little dumb, "It's like overdrawing the good part of life. But I still want it, I want it very much."
Le Zhishi hugged him, trying to comfort him or make him feel relieved, but soon, he heard Song Yu say the next thing.
"But if you leave me, I might just be sad."
This sentence made Lezhishi a great deal of pain and reluctance. He felt that Song Yu was very different in peacetime, or perhaps he had never seen Song Yu like this. He is like a cat that only licks its wounds, and arrogantly carries it on his back whenever he can, giving Lezhishi a strong-looking back.
"Although I promised you that I would give it a try." Song Yu stroked Lezhishi's hair, "but in fact the initiative is in your hands. If you feel scared and don't want to hurt other people, you can quit at any time, and we can also return it. To the previous relationship."
After he finished speaking, he added, "I will still be nice to you."
His persuasive tone seemed to be enlightening, but Lezhishi didn't want this, he didn't want to be treated as a child, especially after he knew that Song Yu would be very sad without him.
"If you say that, I won't quit." His tone was a bit arrogant, "If I really leave you, we won't be able to go back. Don't be nice to me, I will cry to you directly. Look."
"When I'm with you, you will hug me to sleep, touch my face, kiss my arm, and smile softly at me. I have all these things. If one day I change back to my original appearance, I I can't accept it at all."
Song Yu smiled bitterly, "Then what are you going to do?"
Le Zhishi couldn't hold back, and he shed some tears. He buried his head, not wanting Song Yu to find out.
"I will leave all of you and hide in a place where no one can find it."
Before that, he would take away the little stone Song Yu gave him and walk along with the math book Song Yu had read. The book is really obscure, but it's a long life, and he can always read it by himself.
"Do you want to live your life by yourself?" Song Yu asked.
"Yeah." Le Zhishi thought, is it so cruel? Isn't he supposed to be like the silly men and women in the TV series and movies to show that he likes more seriously. So he explained: "My parents are very short-lived, I should live for them for decades."
He spoke very lightly, like a joke, but Song Yu suddenly hugged him tightly, almost rubbing him into his body, and soon became loose again.
"There is no way to live alone."
There is no clear reference to this sentence. At first Lezhishi felt that Song Yu was talking about him, but later he felt that he was talking about himself.
"So you don't let me go." Le Zhishi kissed his side of the neck. "Don't think of me as a child anymore. I've grown up. No matter what happens, I can bear it with you."
"I know I did something that I shouldn't do. I saw Aunt Rong today, I felt that I was really guilty. They treated me so well and raised me like my own son, but I took you away from them. NS."
"This is not caused by you." Song Yu said.
Le Zhishi corrected his words, "This is not caused by you alone."
He raised his head slightly, kissed Song Yu's chin, and looked at him, "You said that you have fun and sadness with me. If you leave me only sad, then I can't leave you alone. You keep it. That part is happy, give me the sadness."
"Anyway, as long as I have you, even sadness is happy."
Song Yu really couldn't figure out where Lezhishi came from so many warm emotions, like a plant that sucks carbon dioxide but continuously releases oxygen, trying to digest all his negative energy, just to make him smile.
He is an unusual and special substance that appears in his life. It has a lot of energy and cannot be measured.
"Okay." Song Yu could never refuse, and simply gave up resistance.
"I said I would cherish you. I won't run away by myself until you make other decisions."
"There is no other decision." Lezhishi was firm, "As long as you need me."
When Song Yu hugged Lezhi, she was as close as she was holding a doll. Their skin touched, and Lezhishi's body temperature gradually flowed to him, letting his body relax. Lezhishi patted him on the back while telling him what happened when he was a child, the lotus they picked together, the loquat they planted together, the sunflower field in Jiangtan Park and the endless summer in the botanical garden. Later, his The voice gradually blurred, and the movements of the hands slowed down.
His anxious heart for Song Yu calmed down more slowly than his consciousness, extending into his dream.
The next day, Lezhishi had a low-grade fever again. I don't know if it was because of the wind blowing at night. Song Yu took him to the hospital, where he received another two hours of needle injection. Song Yu was writing a paper next to him. He quietly leaned on Song Yu's shoulder, watched anime on his mobile phone, and chatted with Jiang Yufan from time to time. Song Yu glanced occasionally and found that Jiang Yufan was showing her affection and sent a lot of group photos to Lezhishi.
When I came out, I was eating dinner. When Lezhi had a bad appetite, he ate slowly and seldom. Song Yu urged him to drink a bowl of ribs and lotus root soup before ending the meal.
"I want to go to a place, in school, can I just go home?"
Song Yu glanced at him, "Then I will get a needle tomorrow?"
"I won't catch cold again." Le Zhishi passed the responsibility on him very smoothly and said quietly, "Maybe it was because you grabbed my quilt yesterday..."
Song Yu tilted his head and stared at him without speaking.
"Definitely not, I kicked it away by myself." Lezhishi touched his arm, "You can press me to sleep today, so I will definitely not be able to kick the quilt."
Passing by someone, Song Yu covered Lezhishi's mouth, and then let it go when he left.
"What are you talking about?" His tone became awkward again, Lezhi Shi couldn't figure out why.
Saying that he did not agree, in the end Song Yu still followed Le Zhishi to where he was going. They have been walking around the campus for a long time, relying on the navigation during the whole process, and the more they go, the more they go.
"You tell me, I'll take you there." Song Yu couldn't help but say.
Le Zhishi stared at the phone and waved his hand, "You definitely don't know, absolutely."
"Cold knowledge: I am a senior, you are a freshman."
"Hush." Lezhi didn't lift his head when he stretched out his hand to cover Song Yu's mouth. He didn't cover it until he was caught.
They finally found it. On the Lion Mountain behind the cherry blossoms, there was a small mountain road built with stones, and the beginning of the road was at the foot of the mountain. There are almost no other people here. Lezhi held Song Yu by the wrist, more excited than when he arrived in Xitian to get the scriptures, "Here, I found it!"
Song Yu frowned suspiciously. The number of small mountain roads like this one cannot be counted. He would never consider this kind of path at all, which is both inconvenient and inefficient.
"So? If you want to go to Yingding, there are many ways..."
Le Zhishi didn't wait for him to finish, so he squatted down and pointed to the ground, "Brother, look."
Song Yu lowered his head, only to find that the pavement here was inlaid with many pebbles, spelling out very clear five words, and when he was read by Lezhi, he said, "Please, go, love, love, road!"
He suddenly wanted to laugh, "Is this what Jiang Yufan told you?"
Le Zhishi stood up, "He said that his girlfriend brought him here last week. It was very interesting." He whispered to himself, "I like rocks."
After speaking, he dragged Song Yu, "Let's go, please go to the road of love."
Song Yu thought he would never do such a naive thing in his life, but not only did he do it, he was also a little happy. They were next to each other, walking up step by step.
In addition to the first five characters, there are many ancient poems and love poems, all made of pebbles. Le Zhishi said, this seems to be an extracurricular work done by a teacher and students in eight years or so.
"This teacher is really romantic." Le Zhishi said, "The words are spelled so cute." He suddenly saw a yellow translucent pebble, "This one looks beautiful, like jade."
Song Yu's hand rested loosely on his shoulder, "This is silica colloidal chalcedony, and the blue part is because of copper."
Le Zhishi stared at him, "As soon as you explain it, it becomes very subtle."
Song Yu raised his eyebrows disapprovingly, "Science reveals the essence of romance."
"Okay, I can't tell you." Le Zhishi took him past the patchwork name of the city, past the stone-written "Liliyuan on the grass, one year old and one withered", and "If the two loves last for a long time, How can it be in the morning and evening?" During the period, Lezhishi paused, and said to the ground, "It is a long time if it is misspelled."
They went to the heights of the hills little by little, and soon, the two of them walked together to the end of the road, surrounded by greenery, and no one was bothering them.
"The end is here." Le Zhishi jumped a little, pointed to the words on the ground and said to Song Yu, "Look."
The humble pebbles piece together simple four words, but they seem to sum up the many years between them.
"Deep love and long meaning." Song Yu said softly.
While there was no one, Lezhi took one of his hands and said, "We have already walked a road of love, and now we are very experienced. Don't worry, everything will be fine."
Song Yu couldn't help but smile, "What experience do you have..."
Just after speaking, Le Zhishi suddenly came up and kissed his lips very lightly and quickly. Like the autumn in this city, it is short and beautiful.
He returned to a safe position nervously, released his hand, glanced around in a panic, and pursed his lips.
"The experience of the first kiss." Le Zhishi said stumblingly, without confidence.
The setting sun fell gently on his face, even his soft hair was golden, and his ears were red and translucent by the sun, and even the capillaries were faintly visible, like a golden shell. Song Yu stared closely, hoping that the twilight would settle later, because this scene was really beautiful.
But he also hoped that the sky would be dark immediately, so that he could hug Lezhishi in a dark corner.
"Are you not satisfied?" Lezhishi looked annoyed and raised his head, "Are you not satisfied?"
Song Yu put his hands in the pockets of the windbreaker jacket, with a laid-back look, "Let's have a little bit."
"Then can I start again? That doesn't count."
Song Yu took a step forward, the distance shortened to zero, their chests pressed together, and he said, "Yes."
Le Zhishi glanced at him secretly, and then quickly kissed for a second time, then took a short step back, and asked the other person seriously, "How about this?"
His love partner is very difficult to deal with, and the corners of his mouth are raised a bit, but he still shook his head, "Still dissatisfied."
Le Zhishi found that he had dug a hole for himself, "I don't think you will be satisfied."
Song Yu raised an eyebrow, "It doesn't matter, I will give you many opportunities."