Hearing what Lin Rong said, Lezhishi sat on the bed for a long time, and when he recovered, tears were already streaming down his face.
Since being with Song Yu, they have had many nightmares that no one knows about when they were asleep in Lezhi. For example, they were broken while hugging and kissing. Lin Rong and Song Jin were extremely angry and hysterical. The bizarre pictures in the dream are broken and scarlet, full of collisions, beatings and sharp buzzing, like some kind of unstoppable warning.
People are right, reality and dream are the opposite.
In reality, the parents have more pain than anger, and panic is greater than puzzled, because they love them so much that they can't even find the point of harm.
Lezhishi thought he was really cruel, but he was a kid who only understood the rules of exchange since he was a child. He was grateful for a little bit and immediately took out a part of himself to exchange with others.
[Thank you, do you want it? This is mine, for you, I can give you a lot. ]
Even staying in a hotel with a lover, no matter how expensive he wants to pay for a night.
He could not accept anyone's love comfortably.
After taking possession of Song Yu, it became even more impossible. If he wants to, he can indeed enjoy the lifelong care of the Song family, like a family member who really belongs here, but he dare not.
He never mentioned it, but Lezhishi always remembered the conversation he accidentally heard in the hospital, and the word "outsider" was always nailed to his heart.
Because I don’t know what will happen tomorrow, and I’m not sure when this love and concern will dissipate, I can’t help but plan his future life, and plan what he will do after losing these good things, so as not to have a desperate chance at that day.
No one wants to live alone, and he doesn't want to leave the family.
But he needs to make such preparations.
At two o'clock in the morning, the night was uncomfortably quiet, and Le Zhishi walked to the door of Song Yu's room and tried to push. As always, Song Yu didn't lock the door. His room was finally not so dark, not because the curtains were closed tightly. The cold moonlight pierced in, splitting a small piece of light on the carpet. A part of the quilt was raised, motionless, like a cold mountain range under the dim moonlight.
Stepping on the soft carpet, Lezhishi approached lightly. He thought of his past self untimely, and thought of various methods and steps, hoping to stay in Song Yu's room. Only now did I know that he was eager to stay at that time.
At that time, they were separated by an inseparable barrier. They seemed to be very close to each other, but they couldn't stick to each other.
Lifting the corner of the quilt, Le Zhishi quietly got in, and finally sensed a little temperature, and hugged Song Yu's back from behind. This hug seemed to have passed for a long time, Lezhishi put his face on his back and hugged his arms tightly.
"Auntie Rong asked me to accompany you." Le Zhishi said lightly.
Just by holding it, he knew that Song Yu was not asleep, even the sound of breathing was easy to distinguish. It was too cold in his quilt. Lezhishi was even a little grateful that he had a low-grade fever at the moment. At least at this time, he could pass a little more temperature to Song Yu.
His hand gently touched Song Yu's arm, as if he was coaxing him to sleep. Song Yu was lying on his side in front of the moonlight, a tear slipped silently from the corner of his eyes, hiding in the soft fibers of the pillow, as if it had never existed.
After a while, Song Yu turned over, wrapped Le Zhishi's body with a hug full of security, and hugged him back. His forehead was attached to Lezhishi's forehead, "Is it still burning?"
"Does the body hurt?"
Le Zhishi's nose was sore and his eyes were sore. He shook his head without saying a word, just hugged Song Yu tightly.
Song Yu seemed to sigh, and the words he asked seemed to dissipate in the night quickly, "Why do you wake up suddenly? It would be nice not to come."
Le Zhishi was stunned for a second before realizing that he was talking about himself. In Song Yu's expectation, he should lie on the warm bed in the apartment and sleep until dawn. When he is immersed in his dream, Song Yu will take the initiative to show his parents and take care of everything.
He could hardly imagine this possibility, because Song Yu would definitely package him as a perfect victim and describe their difficult love as a pure deception.
"I'm coming." Le Zhishi raised his hand and touched Song Yu's face. The moonlight crossed Song Yu's shoulder line and fell into his light-colored pupils.
"Song Yu, I won't leave you alone to face this."
The palms of his hands are hot, with real warmth.
Song Yu pressed Le Zhishi's lips and gave him a gentle and short kiss, as if it was all he had. When he hugged Lezhi tightly, he almost rubbed him into his body. In the past, Song Yu never hugged him like this. He was always gentle, and his inexhaustible sense of security could be sold to Lezhishi.
But tonight he seems to be back four years ago, five years ago, or earlier.
He turned back to the little boy who was cut off by the ending that could be seen at a glance before the beginning of his affection, as if he was begging physically, unable to let go of his embrace, and unable to let go of his beloved.
They closely adhered to each other, as if there was no chance of separation.
"We are really bad." Le Zhishi's voice was low, breathing hard between words. All kinds of things floating in front of my eyes at night, like images projected by a broken projector in my mind, I can't turn off.
Without Song Yu's response, he couldn't help but ask: "If you anticipate today's scene earlier, would you still hope that I will fall in love with you sooner?"
The sooner you fall in love, the sooner you deceive.
"Hope." Song Yu gave him the answer quickly this time.
When he hugged Lezhi, his voice was a little dumb, "I'm going crazy thinking about it."
Hearing this answer, Lezhi only felt sad. He buried his face in Song Yu's neck, "I think too."
Song Yu touched the back of his neck and asked him why in a low voice.
"This way you will know earlier that you are the only recipient of the letter you wrote."
Le Zhishi smiled feebly, "I will also know how many plans I have done is in vain. As long as you love me and need me, I will not be able to leave you."
Song Yu wrote "please don't leave him alone" in his precautionary letter, but when Koke knew, he planned all the possibilities of a person's life ahead of time.
Fall in love earlier, and the secrets hidden in each other's pain can be dispelled.
Song Yu is probably the only person in the world who has noticed the personality defects of Lezhishi. He even dared not write in the letter and emphasized that "he has no defects."
In fact, he has. He is afraid of separation and is keen to please. In order to make Song Yu happy and satisfied, he can do anything.
The same is true for other people, in varying degrees.
"Lele," Song Yu held his face, facing his gaze, those deep eyes could almost see through Lezhishi's appearance, and he could see directly into his heart, "Except for me, dad and mom, yours Friends, your admirers, many people love you and love you without asking for anything in return."
Le Zhishi looked at him steadily, with a moist light in his eyes, but he was so stubborn that he didn't even blink his eyes.
"Baby." Song Yu gently stroked his face, "Love doesn't need to be paid back, you deserve it."
"You are not a child without a home. Your home is here. If you really leave, they may spend a lifetime here watching you back. Just like Dad said, they will cook a lot of your favorite dishes. , Waiting for you to come home to eat."
Le Zhishi still looked at him like this, but his eyelashes were trembling slightly.
His stomach is uncomfortable, so is his throat, and a lot of emotions are surging.
Frowning, Lezhishi couldn't help but ask: "What about you?"
Song Yu smiled pale, palms pressed against his side face, fingers rubbing his brow bones.
"I'm going to find you. All the good cities in the world will find it again."
"Then you will find it very hard." Le Zhishi pursed his lips and lowered his eyes.
Song Yu's eyes were very gentle, "Have you forgotten the hide-and-seek we played when we were young?"
As long as Song Yu searched room by room, waited until he really came to his hiding place and called out his name, Xiao Lezhishi couldn't wait to run out to see him, begged him to hold him, and said to him, brother, Why are you so good, you found me all at once.
"If you can't bear me, you will come out."
Le Zhishi curled his eyebrows, as if trying to hold back his emotions, and finally couldn't help nodding his head and hugged Song Yu.
The stray puppies plan to live well, be careful when crossing the road, find a place to hide from the rain when it rains, and try to find food for themselves, because there is no shelter and feeding.
It may also continue to return to the park it was taken to, find the lawn where it used to run, and sniff the familiar green grass scent secretly.
What is the difficulty of living alone
I'm afraid that once the former master shows up again, it will still run into his arms without thinking about it.
Song Yu's embrace is always the safest refuge and the only place where Lezhishi feels a sense of belonging.
No need to pay and exchange, he belongs to him.
They hugged each other and used each other's body temperature to keep warm, but no one dared to ask or wonder if their parents would accept it. They could only snuggle through the night. Le Zhishi worried that Song Yu could not sleep well, so he didn't sleep well all night, dreaming in a dazed dream that Song Yu was gone, and woke up again, and found that he was still sleeping next to him, with his hand on his shoulder, and he was relieved. Post him to continue to sleep.
After repeating it several times, he finally couldn't sleep anymore when the sky was getting bright. He stared at Song Yu's face for a long time, and smoothed his frowning brows. My throat was uncomfortable, I wanted to cough, but I was afraid of waking him up, so when I was happy, I got up lightly and went to the bathroom to cough.
In the mirror, he looked very thin and haggard, with a face as white as paper, but his lips were burning red. Le Zhishi washed a little bit, his throat was still uncomfortable, and he felt difficult to breathe, but his heart was uneasy. He just wanted to see how Song Jin and Lin Rong were sleeping.
But they seemed to wake up earlier. When Lezhi went downstairs, they heard the low-volume news on the TV and the sound of their talking before they even went to the living room.
Le Zhishi hid behind the stairs and stood quietly, Lin Rong's vague voice was a little clear, like the light of the morning sky.
"Can't you see it? The two of them are inseparable. They are not at all the same as those young people who are just beginning to fall in love. They have a deep relationship."
"But in case someday..."
Lin Rong's voice cried again, "Don't say anything... I was so uncomfortable last night and couldn't sleep, so I quietly went to Xiaoyu's room to see if they were asleep. Did you know? They all hugged tightly. Those who fall asleep are like those little babies who are particularly afraid of separation."
"In order not to know when they will come, I force them not to be together now, then my two sons are gone."
She sobbed softly, "I don't care about others, I just want them to live a good life and be happy every day... Xiaoyu, he, he has been holding everything in his heart for so many years. Isn't it because of this? My son sleeps every day. Unconsciously, I didn't even know when I was a mother."
Le Zhishi took a deep breath, but felt a little bit weak. The emotional night put too much load on his body. He was a little weak, listening to their voices, leaning back against the side of the stairs.
He heard Song Jin regretfully say: "But I always feel very sorry for Le Yi, as if I didn't teach the children well, didn't guide them well, so I let them..."
"If Leyi is really still alive, he would definitely want Lele to be happy, and hope Lele can be with the people he likes. Wasn't it the same for us back then? My dad didn't let us be together, so he forced me and How sad you were when someone else got married, did you forget?"
Seeing Song Jin frowned, she stopped talking. Lin Rong sighed, "I thought about why Lele wanted to leave all night. Maybe she felt that she had no home since she was a child. Although we were kind to him, we weren't biological. Drive out, so I always want to go first by myself..."
"It must be like this." She repeated sadly, "That's how my Lele wants to go."
The more she thought about it, the more sad she was, "Just leave them alone, isn't it good? The children haven't done any heinous things, and they are not real brothers. Others want them to tell them to go away. People live forever, and It’s not for other people’s mouths."
After a few seconds of silence, Song Jin sighed helplessly, "That's it."
He also said, "It may not be used at the beginning, and we should not show it, and don't make the children sad."
"Why are you robbing me?" Lin Rong complained, and wiped her tears with a tissue, "Really, hurry up and throw away the unfinished cigarettes, stop smoking, Lele smelled of a cough. "
As soon as she finished speaking, she felt that something was not right. She felt that she had heard the sound of breathing and got up from the sofa like a conditioned reflex. Following the sound, she found Lezhi Shi who fell on the ground behind the spiral staircase.
"Lele!" When Lin Rong half hugged Lezhi, who was crying and had an asthma attack, she hurriedly called Song Jin's name, "Get the medicine!"
While taking the medicine, Song Yu also went downstairs, and saw Lezhi Shi's collapse on the floor, and walked down quickly to his side.
High fever and emotional overload caused asthma. After taking the medicine, Lezhishi was still weak and was taken to the hospital by the whole family. Le Zhishi on the hospital bed fell asleep quietly, and the cold potion in the infusion bottle dripped into his veins along the plastic tubing.
Lin Rong was sitting next to him, her hands wrapped around Lezhishi's hands, and she shed tears in front of the hospital bed just like when he was sick when he was a child.
Song Jin called Song Yu out and led him to the window at the end of the hospital corridor. He was different from the father who had been so exhausted for almost a night last night. He stabilized his mood, dressed in a decent suit, and slightly returned to his former gentleness and gentleness.
But the questions he asked were straightforward and clear, like calculating the magnitude of his son's fault.
"You and Lele, how far have you been together?"
Song Yu didn't conceal the least bit, and said frankly, "I did everything."
"Did you ask for it?"
Song Yu lowered his eyes: "I asked for it."
"You, Song Yu..." Song Jin tried hard to suppress his emotions, "Le Le is so young..."
"I will be responsible." Song Yu raised his eyes to look at him, "Dad, when I grow up to this age, my performance shouldn't be bad, but I never promised you anything."
His eyes were very firm, "But I can assure you that there is no one in this world who can love him like I did when I loved Lezhi. There won't be any."
Song Jin didn't open his face, he couldn't refute Song Yu's words.
"I'm sorry to hide you for so many years." Song Yu used a tone of weakness that he would almost never show up. "I don't expect you to forgive me or accept me. I just hope you don't blame him. He really cares about you very much. Feel."
Song Jin faced the window, and the cold wind blew on the lawn of the hospital, blowing off crumbling leaves and a pair of dependent birds.
He fell into a long silence, shook his head, and finally just said to Song Yu, "Take care of him, don't be sorry for your Uncle Le."
After a while, Song Yu nodded solemnly and heard him say again.
"Last time I asked you how you are in the yard of Yang and Qizhe. You said it was pretty good, and I am very happy every day. I always remember this because I don’t feel like you say it, I think you are real. I’m very happy to have encountered something good. Now that I think about it, I understand why."
"Since we are together, let's be happy in the future." He looked at Song Yu, "As parents, we only hope you are happy."
After speaking, he said it was cold outside again, and told Song Yu to go back, ask Lezhishi for a leave, and went downstairs to buy fruit.
After Song Yu returned to the ward after taking a leave of absence, he saw Lin Rong measuring Le Zhishi's wrist with her index finger and thumb in a circle, watching his thin wrist frown. Seeing Song Yu coming in, she sighed, her tightly pressed lips trembled.
Song Yu walked over, took a chair and sat beside her, and embraced her in his arms.
Their mother and son were very strange. Song Yu could come up with a hundred ways to fight with Lin Rong, but he couldn't tell her what he had hidden in his heart. It seemed to be far apart, but as long as he hugged him, the cold noodles Lin Rong insisted on would collapse.
Pushing her son's hug, she stretched out her hand to beat him, but did not dare to beat him too hard, nor did she dared to cry and quarrel with Lezhi, and finally shook her head constantly, as if surrendering.
Hearing Song Yu confessed to her, his heart surged again.
What's wrong? There is nothing really wrong.
She sniffed and didn't want to speak, so she took out her phone to edit.
After a while, Song Yu's phone shook.
[Ms. Lin: You don't want to think about it, give me a good rest, go home and eat more, or I will take Lele with me. ]
Seeing this news, Song Yu actually laughed.
In the quiet ward, their voices are all converted into words, but their tone and emotion can be conveyed to each other's hearts accurately.
[Xiaoyu: Bring me and my father, too, and carry your bags. ]
The prompts on the dialog box changed and changed, inputting for a while, and disappearing for a while. I don't know how long it took for Song Yu to wait for her mother's answer.
[Ms. Lin: I'll carry them all by myself. ]
[Ms. Lin: From the whole family. ]
The author has something to say: Yang and Qizhe: A metaphor for a bad environment in the past, and a smooth and good time begins. From "Song History·Le Zhi".
(Really Song Shi Lezhi)
The original sentence describes the spring, "the wind will respond, and the calendar will be restored. Yang and Qizhe make everything spring."