I didn't know how to react to what Silas told me, so I didn't react at all. Maybe if he told me this before last night, I might laugh or disagree with the whole thing. On the contrary, a deep sense of anxiety filled me.
Silas Nelson sat across from me, waiting, chewing his food. He patted his mouth with a napkin to give me time to digest what he told me. He gave me a room for real reactions, even if my real reaction was to laugh or tell him he was crazy. After all, others told him that, especially when he was young, what people thought was more important to him. Now that he is old, my opinion of him and the opinions of others are not important at all. He knows who he is. He knew what he saw. He knew what he told me was the truth. I can see what it is-or not. It doesn't matter to him.
"Tell me about her. About Annabeth Sugerman. What kind of person is she?" I asked.
Silas Nelson put down his fork and drank water for a long time. Then he told me the story of Anna Beth Sugarman:
"From the day Mr. Sugarman and his second wife moved here, I have worked for him. He is a very good and strong man. The second Mrs. Sugarman is small and quiet. She treats her uncle. Nice is good, but she is painful and shy, and she doesn't talk to others most of the time.
When she was pregnant with Annabeth, her heart was ignited. Annabeth is a real blessing. No child has ever been or will be more loved than Annabeth Sugerman.
After Anna Beth was born, Mrs. Sugarman's health deteriorated sharply. She often took care of this little girl when she was very uncomfortable, and she was exhausted.
When she goes to bed, my Bernice will take care of Annabeth during the day. That little girl is sunshine in a skirt with braids. It's hard not to love her. She has an evil smile and a belly smile that can make her hide licking and she finds her troublesome licking. Our boy Russell is a few years older than Annabeth. She and Russell have been intimate since childhood.
It was different then. I saw it first, the moment Russell realized he was in love with her. He is sixteen and she is fourteen. I don't know if Sugarman noticed. Although God is my savior, I am not going to tell them. The Sugermans are all kind and decent people, and I never want to put them in a position where I can learn. If they did notice, they would pretend not. Russell is a black boy, and Anna Beth Sugarman is a white man like Wonder Bread.
Now, my Russell is a smart man, he is a smart boy, but he is strong-willed and single-minded, like Bernice stubborn. He thought he could marry Annabeth. He didn't see the obstacles I saw. The only mission of 18-year-old Russell Nelson in his life is to marry Anna Beth. He wanted to give her everything she wanted. He performed well in school and won a university scholarship.
What does Annabeth think of Russell? I believe she loves him too.
Once, in the summer of 1966, Annabeth worked as a waiter in a soda shop while I was busy closing. I sent Russell to do errands, and only me and Annabeth were left.
I said, Annabeth Sugerman, you leave my Russell. He thinks he loves you and you will marry him, but both you and I know that is impossible.
Oh, this makes her very angry. She turned around angrily and replied: Mr. Nelson, I love Russell as he loves me. I am honored to be Mrs. Russell Nelson. The world is changing. At first, this may be difficult, but...
I interrupted her. I'm so angry. How much does she know about the world
I yelled to her, Annabeth, don't be silly, girl. You are too weak. You don't know how difficult it is. You spend a day being a black girl, and then difficulties will divide you into two parts. keep going! Let him go! If you love him like you said, you will let him go. Think of Russell. He is a good boy, and he has the opportunity to make a difference in his life. What Russell needs is Russell Nelson, a smart black boy who graduated from college, not Russell Nelson, a black boy who married Anna Beth Sugarman. What he did to her is really shameful. And their poor black children. Girl, if you love him, treat him well and let him go
She said to me. She said Russell would be ashamed of what you said to me
Then she left angrily. Just outside that door. God, did she close the door. If she thinks in her heart, she can adapt to this kind of life well.
But she was right. Russell may be ashamed, but I am also right. God testified, I was right.
She never told Russell about it, especially considering the outcome, which I am very grateful for.
Last fall, Russell left home to go to college. He told me that Annabeth had promised to wait for me. The Sugeman family seems to know nothing about all this, and life goes on as usual, which is very abnormal. Letters back and forth between the two. Dr. Martin Luther King is patrolling the room. The Vietnam War killed one boy after another. Bernice and I pray every night that Russell will not be selected and be next to the killing line.
One day everything changed. A new boy moved to the city. His name is Clark Talbot. His father served in the Coastal Jǐng Guard, or a similar post, stationed in Astoria.
Clark entered the city like a tornado. He has black hair, black eyes, and a black heart. He is not a bad boy like a criminal, but he is full of anger and sadness, just like he sees the future and knows what his life will become, but it is not good.
He is completely opposite to Anna Beth in every respect. She is pure sunshine. No one around wanted to approach her. He stood on the opposite side, in pitch darkness, standing beside him, leaving only a cold body. I never liked that boy. The face on his face is black, and it is still spinning. Just being with him will give me a headache. I hardly dared to look at him directly.
They are opposites. I know I have said this sentence, but it is worth repeating. Every night. However, Anna Beth Sugarman fell in love with him. They have been together, or rather, she has been with him.
Since Clark Talbot came to town, I have rarely seen her, but when I saw her, she was no longer the same she was before. He took away all her sunshine, leaving her as weak and restless as her mother.
The Sugermans began to worry. They noticed Annabeth's changes and forbid her to see Clark, but Clark ignored them. She sneaked out of the room, and she did everything to get close to him.
Mr. Sugarman asked Russell when he would go home for the summer vacation. He thought Russell might have some influence on his Annabeth. If only he knew.
When Clark Talbot was drafted into the army, they thought that God had answered their prayers. It was only a matter of time before they retrieved the original Annabeth.
Russell knew about Clark. Annabeth mentioned him in a letter. She has always been an honest girl. Russell wanted to go home and talk to Annabeth in person, but Bernice and I didn't give him money, even though we had money.
He threatened to hitchhiker across the country, but Bernice told him that if he did, he would no longer be her son, and he would not have a home where he could hitchhiker. Bernice made the law. That woman loves her son more than his life itself, but if she can save him in this way, she herself will break his heart.
She told him that he needed to leave. Clark and Annabeth are the best. They love each other. The story is over, the sooner he accepts this fact, the better.
It's true, it's best for Russell, but not for Annabeth. Clark ran out of her like a battery, and when Russell returned home in the summer, she had nothing left. She is a line drawing of what she used to be, but the void outside fills her middle.
Everything ended the day after Russell came back. Clark Talbot was training at home before being sent to Vietnam. Russell never told me the details, but Annabeth got a call from Clark. He left his post without permission.
He was in the darkest period and threatened to commit suicide. He said he needed her, and if she didn't find him soon, he would commit suicide. This is the total price, Annabeth stood up and walked towards him. Leave her mom, dad and Russell. Before she left, she had a fight with Russell. As far as I know, he begged her to stay, but she was unwilling.
She drove the car out of the road that night. The shipwreck is really terrible. Sometime the next morning, they found her car winding around a tree. Clark Talbot did what he said, put the gun in his mouth and ate a bullet. But he did not wait for her. He did that shortly after the call. He was dead to death, and to make matters worse, he did it where Anna Beth might find him.
Russell told me that he found out that Clark's suicide note was sent to Annabeth. It says: I'm sorry. I can not wait anymore.
Russell said to me, Dad, no matter how quickly she approaches him. What kind of man would do this.
I told him that he was nothing like a man.
Russell was very angry, he turned his anger towards Bernice, and was angry with his mother for a long time. He could not forgive her for not letting him go home in the first place. He thought he could stop Annabeth and save her life.
This may be true. He might stop Annabeth, who grew up with him and loved, but the dead Annabeth will not run to Clark Talbot. It was a completely different Annabeth.
Bernice soon got cancer. Russell let his strong feelings keep him away from her. It's just that there is one more regret in his pile.
My poor, lovely Bernice," Silas Nelson looked up at him. He whispered to the ceiling. "He's sorry, Bernice. "
Silas Nelson sat there staring at the ceiling for a long time. I think he might be praying, and I don't want to disturb him.
Sitting quietly, I found it hard to ignore my head bumps, hand cramps, and various complaints in other parts of my body. I also feel very tired.
"I dreamed of her," I said. At this moment, Silas seemed to be staring at the ceiling forever.
"Huh?" he said.
"Anna Beth. I dreamed of her. After the car accident, I fainted and I dreamed of her. How did she die."
"Really?" he asked, turning his attention to me.
"Yes. It's terrible. I dreamt of her after a car accident. This dream is so real. I feel it. I feel that she is dying. When I close my eyes, I can still feel it. "I looked down at the intact, uninjured hand on the table. (To be continued) (End of this chapter)